Capital B in Sister In Law form....

Colliex3
Colliex3 Posts: 328 Member
in Chit-Chat
I need to get this off my chest and right now this is the best place for me to do it.

All day today an for the last few days since Id say before Christmas my sister in law who lives with us has been acting extremely shady. She knows how to push all my buttons and get me angry and honestly for the last year almost I have bit my tongue from saying anything back. It can be anything from " your going to get fat eating that cheeseburger " to " I dont give a **** if you have laundry to do im doing mine " (and thats after me doing my younger siblings all day and just starting mine while she sits on her *kitten*), But today really was difficult it takes everything in me not to say anything back, but im starting to feel like this coward because im trying to keep the PEACE so it doesnt stress my mother out. Im starting to feel like everyone walks on eggshells around her and if I decide not to im the one thats going to be causing drama. But this feeling of feeling like a coward is not healthy at all.

I honestly dont know what to do anymore :(

Replies

  • DestroyTheOpposition
    DestroyTheOpposition Posts: 444 Member
    have a talk with your brother. it is his job to keep the peace... after all she is the problem and his wife
  • runmybunsoff
    runmybunsoff Posts: 224 Member
    Family meeting?
  • lmbs1966
    lmbs1966 Posts: 57 Member
    Family meeting? I second this motion!
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
    i agree with them i can't stand my sister in law. she sounds exactly a like. i have gotten into arguments with my older brother.... she is a problem but know one feel like they have to be careful of what they say exspecially since they live with you. my opion if there old enough to marry then they should be able to handle adult conversations and move out
  • libbymcbain
    libbymcbain Posts: 206 Member
    have a talk with your brother. it is his job to keep the peace... after all she is the problem and his wife

    ^^^ My sister in law (husband's sister) was SUCH a ***** to me for a while, especially around our wedding. Both passive aggressive and outright aggressive behaviour. I spoke to my husband about it. Turns out it was a re-run of how she treated him when they were younger- sibling rivalry thing- he just doesn't rise to it after years developing a thick skin over it, so when I came along she thought she had a new target.

    My husband spoke to her about it. First time he did it, he did it on the phone, gave her the benefit of the doubt and while it worked for a bit, she blew up big time just before our wedding. Second time, he did it in person and made it clear that if she wanted a good relationship with him, she had better re-think her behaviour, big time. So far it seems to be working, fingers crossed. Though to be honest, I can't see me ever trusting her enough even to be friendly again (civil is fine, but here needs to be distance). It helped that my mother in law, apologised to me for her daughter's behaviour, and made it clear to my sister in law that she was the one over stepping the mark. It's apparently not unusual for her to do that. So if it is her character, other people will notice it too or will know already.

    She might be trying to make you lash out at her so you look bad, so I would say DEFINITELY don't fall into that trap. You will look like the bad guy and it will be difficult to get other family members on side.
  • CrisAlex
    CrisAlex Posts: 236 Member
    I just got into a fight with SO over SIL's passive aggressive behaviour last night. Libby gives really good advice about being careful to not fall into the trap of lashing out. I know that it's so much easier said than done. All the best to you!
  • mewaybright
    mewaybright Posts: 240 Member
    I would speak with your brother to address the issue... after all she is his wife and responsibility. I would also learn the southern way.. "That's Nice" and "Aren't you so Precious" as well as “Sure thing Darlin”
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    I'd have your brother talk to his wife. If hes on her side I'd call a family meeting and lay down some ground rules. Dont be a punching bag.

    I have issues with my MIL-to-be and I think I let her push me too far before I told my fiance I won't be putting up with his mom's rudeness and control issues. He can deal with his own mom but I want as little to do with her as possible. She has hurt me enough that she has damaged the chance for us to have a good relationship, but I've never retaliated or even defended myself. Now I want nothing to do with her.

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