Dear New Years Fitness Wannabees

Dear New Years Fitness Wannabees:

Tomorrow, you will brave your New Year's Eve hangover reeking of alcohol and stale smoke and trudge into your nearest gym or fitness center. You will plunk down some money and truly believe that your fitness this year will be different than last year. And the year before. And the year before that. You will sweat too much, too soon, doing exercises you shouldn't even be considering for several weeks until your body has adapted to your new "way of life." You will suffer some nagging injury or combination of injuries and be gone from your pricey gym or fitness center by St. Patrick's Day, surely as your dinner plate will be covered in a pile of corned beef and cabbage that night. You will shake your fists at the powers that be and curse the fact that you were "never meant" to get fit.

Before all that happens, may I offer a ten suggestions to maximize your chance of obtaining improved fitness.

First, get into a doctor's office and have a complete physical. Nothing ruins the glow of a good Bowl Season like a newbie dying of cardiac arrest while huffing and puffing on an elliptical machine or in a swimming pool. Make sure that your body can handle the new stresses that you are about to put on it.

Second, get yourself a fitness evaluation and a fitness plan from a QUALIFIED personal trainer or fitness instructor. There's a reason the networks make contestants on The Biggest Loser sign all sorts of binding and scary legal waivers. You can get seriously injured or even die doing things that your body is not yet ready to do. A qualified trainer or instructor will know how far to push you so that you obtain maximum benefit from your workout with minimum risk of injury or death.

Third, adapt your other personal habits to your new commitment to fitness. Smoking, eating badly, illegal or prescription drug use, excessive alcohol consumption, insufficient sleep and rest, and other aspects of your life outside the gym are likely to directly impact upon your success inside the gym.

Fourth, ignore Nike. Don't "just do it." If you "do it" incorrectly, you can seriously and permanently injure yourself. LEARN the proper techniques for utilizing weight training and cardio machines.

Fifth, stick to it. This is not a sprint. It's a marathon. Your results accumulate over time. They will not show up your first day, week, or few weeks. But they WILL show up if you are faithful to your new regimen and lifestyle.

Sixth, don't be discouraged by the crowds at the gym or fitness center. 80% of your fellow "fitness enthusiasts" will be gone by the time pitchers and catchers report to spring training. How do I know? Because I was one of them the past three years before this past year.

Seventh, it's a fitness center, not a singles bar. Many of the women who are there are far more dedicated to what they're doing than a lot of the guys. Cut them some slack and let them do their fitness thaing without fending off your advances.

Eighth, please consider your personal hydration before exercising. Dehydration is a leading cause of fitness-related illness.

Ninth, mirrors are inexpensive. Nothing personal, but I would rather not see your nut sack while I'm working out. And ladies, if you want to be taken seriously, you might want to consider not dressing as though you're doing a Hustler photo shoot.

Finally, wipe off your damn machine after you use it. As much as I like you (nah, I probably don't), I would rather not slide around in your bodily fluids. As I'm sure you wouldn't want to slide around in mine.

Who am I to be giving you advice? Well, I started MFP on July 25, 2012, and have lost 88 pounds in a little more than five months. When I began, I couldn't slowly shuffle for more than 1/10th of a mile. Now, I'm walking fast for 3-5 miles per day, six days per week and beginning my efforts with free weights.

I wish you the very best of success with your New Year's resolution. I hope you obtain the results and personal satisfaction that I have over the past half year. But if you don't, remember, there's always next year.

Scott R. in Houston, Tx.