Gym at hotel with pool and children in changing rooms?

AnahitaCanDoIt
AnahitaCanDoIt Posts: 448
in Fitness and Exercise
I knew I'd find fellow gym people in here so this is why I put this in here. I train at a gym in a hotel. They have a large pool and there are swim classes and a lot of hotel guests with children.

Just wondering about your thoughts... the changing room is open plan with a few small closed rooms for changing. Today a mother and her two children were in the changing room while i was changing out of my workout gear and into my swim togs. In Ireland, people tend not to be too stressed about being naked the few seconds it takes to change. I know different countries and cultures have different social mores about nudity.

Anyway, the woman's daughter was running around screaming not wanting her hair brushed. She was naked and about four or so. What made me most uncomfortable was her son, approximately aged 10 or so who was also in the changing room. He was also changing and spending a lot of time staring at me and other naked women. I felt really uncomfortable about this and wondered why she didn't bring them into the private rooms or send him to the men's changing room.

After she left, I noticed a sign that said children over the age of eight were not allowed in the opposite sex changing rooms. What are your thoughts? I'm a regular in this gym and it was one of the few times I've felt very uncomfortable and considered using the private changing areas myself, even though I wasn't fully changing, just putting on togs.

What do you think? Would you have suggested to her to take the kids into the private rooms or even outlined the rules to her re age of opposite sex children? (I didn't notice them myself until I was leaving)
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Replies

  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    I did aqua zumba at a place like that. It wasn't right or comfortable.

    If the area isn't female only, there need to be cubicles for changing, or I'd use the bathroom.
  • Matt_Wilken
    Matt_Wilken Posts: 188
    I would have complained
  • fattypattybinger
    fattypattybinger Posts: 337
    I would never allow my son to be in there. At 10 years old the boy needs to be out of there. That Mother needs a reality check. The Mom should change quickly and have the son wait outside the changing area.
  • fattypattybinger
    fattypattybinger Posts: 337
    At 10 years old the boy should be old enough to wait outside the females changing room. The mother needs to get herself dressed and her daughter and brush her hair later. Common sense
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
    We have this come up when we have our "family swim" afternoons on weekends. The rules are absolute: NO MALE CHILDREN IN THE FEMALE LOCKER ROOM and vice versa. It is absolute inappropriate for a 10 yr old boy to be in a female locker room.
  • AnahitaCanDoIt
    AnahitaCanDoIt Posts: 448
    I thought so, too. I have a 12 yr old girl and an 7 yr old boy. Though it wasn't convenient for my hubby, he came with me to the gym/pool and waited (marking exams) int he lobby while we swam. He then met my 7yr old son in the men's changing rooms and helped him showering/changing etc...because it was his first time and I wasn't comfortable sending him in there on his own without knowing where stuff was, how to turn on the showers, etc...

    I'm glad it wasn't just me who found this bizarre!
  • AnahitaCanDoIt
    AnahitaCanDoIt Posts: 448
    I would have complained

    Now that i've seen the sign, I definitely will next time!
  • lawtechie
    lawtechie Posts: 708 Member
    I would have said something to the boy like 'Hey, look at the lockers -- not at the ladies!" Mom would hear and hopefully get him not peeking. Other than that, let management know and take steps to correct.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    I would have said something to the boy like 'Hey, look at the lockers -- not at the ladies!" Mom would hear and hopefully get him not peeking. Other than that, let management know and take steps to correct.

    I like this but some mothers are crazy.

    I recommend politely addressing the mother, instead of directly addressing the kids.
  • AnahitaCanDoIt
    AnahitaCanDoIt Posts: 448
    To be honest, the mother seemed at her wit's end. She couldn't control the 4 year old at ALL who was running around splashing water and shreiking in the pool which drove many older folks away (who use the hydrotherapy pool for hydrotherapy) from the pool.
    I should've pointed out to the mother that there were private changing rooms she might find more privacy in?

    Anyway, I just think it was bizarre she didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable about the whole situation, nevermind the son?
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    It's a rough spot. At 10, the boy is probably too old to be in there, but he's too young to be in the men's changing room by himself too. A little nudity won't kill him, I think. And it could be uncomfortable the the adults around but you'll live too.

    On the days that I have my 5 year old daughter I run into the problem as well. There's a mix of me bringing her into the men's room or me going with her into the ladies' room depending on the situation. neither is ideal, but nobody died.
  • AnahitaCanDoIt
    AnahitaCanDoIt Posts: 448
    It's a rough spot. At 10, the boy is probably too old to be in there, but he's too young to be in the men's changing room by himself too. A little nudity won't kill him, I think. And it could be uncomfortable the the adults around but you'll live too.

    On the days that I have my 5 year old daughter I run into the problem as well. There's a mix of me bringing her into the men's room or me going with her into the ladies' room depending on the situation. neither is ideal, but nobody died.

    You go into the women's changing room? Oooh saucy! Tell us more!

    Well, all I"m saying is that as a mom, I would at least notice other naked women. We are a house were we don't go hiding ourselves away but we don't swan around (such a good Irish term) naked either. Ten is quite old for a lad, I think, to be seeing middle aged naked women :)
  • chaNyn613
    chaNyn613 Posts: 112 Member
    Personally, I would let it go. If they are regular members then I would say something to the mom but otherwise its a moot point. As a mom of 2, my son was all energy so I can understand "wits end". No, he didn't go into the ladies locker room past the age of 6 but then I had a hubby who made sure that my son was acquainted with locker room rules and regulation. Sounds like this lady might not have had this option. And if you attend this gym regularly and just now saw the sign I seriously doubted she saw the sign her first time either. Some days we just have days it takes everything we have just to make it to bedtime.
  • chaNyn613
    chaNyn613 Posts: 112 Member
    Plus he might look like he's 10 and he is only 7. My son's best friend has always been off the charts heightwise so people always treated him like he was older and then reacted negatively when he acted his chronological age and not his "physical" age.
  • GuybrushThreepw00d
    GuybrushThreepw00d Posts: 784 Member
    It's a rough spot. At 10, the boy is probably too old to be in there, but he's too young to be in the men's changing room by himself too. A little nudity won't kill him, I think. And it could be uncomfortable the the adults around but you'll live too.


    Agreed.. Its a tricky one :)
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    It's a rough spot. At 10, the boy is probably too old to be in there, but he's too young to be in the men's changing room by himself too. A little nudity won't kill him, I think. And it could be uncomfortable the the adults around but you'll live too.

    On the days that I have my 5 year old daughter I run into the problem as well. There's a mix of me bringing her into the men's room or me going with her into the ladies' room depending on the situation. neither is ideal, but nobody died.

    You go into the women's changing room? Oooh saucy! Tell us more!

    Well, all I"m saying is that as a mom, I would at least notice other naked women. We are a house were we don't go hiding ourselves away but we don't swan around (such a good Irish term) naked either. Ten is quite old for a lad, I think, to be seeing middle aged naked women :)

    I more go into the women's rest room. changing room would get dicey. for the changing room my kid comes with me into the men's room.

    all the adult women in the area have the option of covering up with a towel if they are really bothered. or going to the other side of the lockers that usually divvy up a room like that. i've seen women change without exposing all of their jiggly bits, just like I can do on the men's side when my daughter is in there. it's just the human body. we probably should be so fearful of people seeing actual human bodies.

    whether she's a single mom all the time or just alone for the day with both kids, options to get both kids safely changed are tough. i completely agree with you that it's uncomfortable and definitely not ideal, but kids iz hard. give her a break.

    to everyone suggesting that the OP run off to management to get this lady and her kids banned from the swimming pool,.....i'll just say happy new year to you too.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    I would complain. The fact that the option to use private 'family' space was there and the Mother didn't opt to use it is inappropriate.
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
    My son is 10. He's perfectly capable of getting himself changed and using a locker in the men's changing room at the pool. He's far too old to come into the ladies changing rooms. He would feel totally uncomfortable if I took him in with me.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    That would skeeve me out for sure! Complain!
  • AnahitaCanDoIt
    AnahitaCanDoIt Posts: 448
    Hang on, I should've mentioned, he was definitely NOT seven or even eight! He was very mature in his gaze as he pondered naked women! :) I was thinking he might even be older than 10!

    I wouldn't have reported it to the managment, but I might've suggested making bigger signs and at check in (I don't think they're members, prob just staying at the hotel) they could point out a sign re: kids in changing rooms. Yes, in fairness, I didn't read the sign either but then I have never brought the kids to the pool before today.

    In hindsight, I could've distracted the younger girl (I'm a teacher) to stop her running around shouting in the changing room and pointed out the private changing rooms for the mum...
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    If there are private family rooms available the parent should use those (I would have told the mom about those). Otherwise the parent needs to make the choice that is best for his/her kids (as others have mentioned). As others said, the child could be tall for his age and actually be 7. At ten he may be old enough to go and change on his own (but it really depends on a lot of factors). My 8 year old daughter can change on her own. I agree that it is more uncomfortable for the adults, and not "damaging" to the children.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    When a sign is clearly posted I've asked the mother how old her son was and pointed toward the sign. 10 is too old to be in an opposite sex locker room.
  • sleepy11
    sleepy11 Posts: 23
    My gym has a family locker room which I think is brilliant as it cuts down on these uncomfortable situations. People still bring their kids into the adult locker rooms but thankfully it's rare and staff usually says something to them if they see it. I agree with the previous poser who said 10 is a tough age. I think there are a lot of parents who would feel uncomfortable sending a 10 yo into a locker room alone. At the same time, a lot of people feel 10 is too old to be in a locker room with the opposite sex. If I was this mother, I probably would wait outside the men's locker room while he dressed and then have him wait outside while I dressed. That would be the best compromise in my eyes.
  • Dreamerlove
    Dreamerlove Posts: 441 Member
    Any boy over the age of 3 would have made me feel awkward. I would have complained to the management too.
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
    All above well said. And... a four year old is still small enough to tuck under your arm and leave with.
    No matter her state of temper or dress. As long as she has underwear on.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Ten is the beginning of puberty. That was incredibly inappropriate for that mother to do that.
  • stepherzzzzz
    stepherzzzzz Posts: 469 Member
    Not entirely sure what a tog is, but it's definitely weird for a kid that old to need his mother with him to get changed.
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    I'm a changing room nudist myself, so I can imagine how you felt. Ten is too old for a boy to be in a women's change room.

    I do have some sympathy for the mother, though. If she didn't have an adult male to take her son into the change room I can see how she might have been concerned. I might be a little cautious about sending a child into a men's changing room without supervision.

    I'm not sure what the answer is. Maybe gyms need small change rooms for one or two people in this situation.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    I'm a changing room nudist myself, so I can imagine how you felt. Ten is too old for a boy to be in a women's change room.

    I do have some sympathy for the mother, though. If she didn't have an adult male to take her son into the change room I can see how she might have been concerned. I might be a little cautious about sending a child into a men's changing room without supervision.

    I'm not sure what the answer is. Maybe gyms need small change rooms for one or two people in this situation.

    Her gym had the private spaces though, and the Mom just didn't use it.
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
    Maybe this is a smaller club, but most commercial places have some type of "family changing room" for this type of situation. It's also used by a number of adults and adult caretakers who have a partner who can benefit from the pool/exercise areas but who need physical assistance getting dressed.

    I have issues with kids running around the fitness areas to begin with, unless that's the way the gym is set up. We have child care at our facility and that's where they belong. If the kid is too old, then they can sit in the lobby and read or play games while the parent works out. There are always a-holes in every social situation who think that they are the mostest, specialist, people in the world so the rules don't apply to them. And that general a-holeness is often magnified 10-fold when their special little angel children are involved.

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