Dealing with Negative Family/Friends

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janellepolo
janellepolo Posts: 1
in Health and Weight Loss
How do you deal with family members who are upset if you try to eat healthy or lose weight? I know she is just being ridiculous but it is getting old... :(

Replies

  • miasapearl
    miasapearl Posts: 38 Member
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    Try and explain it to them that you are doing this for your health. If they're really your friend then they will understand and support you. Try and find out why they are being negative about it.
  • kristinkid
    kristinkid Posts: 3 Member
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    Sounds like maybe someone is jealous? I would avoid people that are not supportive of your lifestyle change. Stick with it and be proud of yourself. Don't forget to give yourself a few cheat days every once in a while, this may get this person off your back. Keep up the good work.:wink:
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
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    How do you deal with family members who are upset if you try to eat healthy or lose weight? I know she is just being ridiculous but it is getting old... :(

    Make a lifestyle change ... lol in other words kick them to the curb !!! Say good bye and have a nice life. My gf got all upset when I would go to the gym at night and not see her... I flat out told her if you want to start a fight b/w the gym and you the gym is going to win so I would watch what you say. Haven't heard a peep since.

    I know that was harsh but she is just my gf and nothing else.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    Here is my status update from MFP yesterday: " I'm seriously gonna start a book..."Conversations at Triple H" (Hooven House of Horrors-my maiden name is Hooven). Mom: "Everybody in my family is SO abusive! My daughter is abusing me with chocolate!" (In reference to me throwing all the Christmas candy out). Dad, about my dinner of Skinny Taste pork chops and oven roasted carrots with rosemary, all natural, all made from scratch: "After eating that slop, you'll be lucky if you live to 50!" Me: "Ok, Dad, like your Deitz & Watson Beef Franks are so much better for you!" Dad: "They're HEALTHY! Better than that *kitten*!" Really, peeps, this is what I'm up against..."

    I've been living this way a long time. I have to laugh at it or else I will cry. Try losing weight in the 80s as a teen with no support and no internet friends to go to lol

    Hang in there. Friend me if you'd like a comical and warped twist on this!
  • jnp96
    jnp96 Posts: 163
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    Don't share your your health plans with them. A caring family member or friend will be right there to rooting for your success. I have come back with a slam every now and then to shut them up such as "I don't want to be fat & out of shape like you" :bigsmile:
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    My advice is to keep your healthy lifestyle to yourself as much as possible. Don't bring it up in conversation, and if your family is preparing food, don't make them accommodate you or remark on the nutritional content of their food. Even if you're just talking about yourself in regards to your diet, they know that health is something that they should be working towards and if they aren't, that could lead to feelings of low self esteem or whatever-and you get credited for bringing about those negative feelings. Not your fault, but if you want to avoid the negative comments, probably a good idea to keep your food/exercise choices out of the conversation when possible.
  • Improvised
    Improvised Posts: 925 Member
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    How do you deal with family members who are upset if you try to eat healthy or lose weight? I know she is just being ridiculous but it is getting old... :(

    Make a lifestyle change ... lol in other words kick them to the curb !!! Say good bye and have a nice life. My gf got all upset when I would go to the gym at night and not see her... I flat out told her if you want to start a fight b/w the gym and you the gym is going to win so I would watch what you say. Haven't heard a peep since.

    I know that was harsh but she is just my gf and nothing else.
    *Just* your girlfriend and nothing else? Wow.
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
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    I, thankfully do not have this issue but I would just tell them they have 2 choices, be supportive or be quiet. It's my life, my health and none of their business.
  • SanteMulberry
    SanteMulberry Posts: 3,202 Member
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    How do you deal with family members who are upset if you try to eat healthy or lose weight? I know she is just being ridiculous but it is getting old... :(

    If they are truly your friends (and let's face it, some relatives are "frenemies") they will support you as you work toward your goals. Of course, if they care about you, they will want you to avoid doing anything destructive to your health but the sensible diets that are promoted here should put their minds to rest. Sometimes it is just a matter of ignorance on their part and it is helpful if we can educate them as to what we are doing and how. I determined that I must cut out wheat and sugar for lots of reasons (the least of which was fat loss) and, at first, I got some static from my sister on it. But I showed her what I was doing and how it was working for me and I convinced her to the point that she is now utilizing the same diet for herself! :smile:
  • Annaduurai
    Annaduurai Posts: 56 Member
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    My parents try to sabotage me, i think out of jealousy or guilt. They are overweight my mom hugely so and it has effected her health to the point that eating the way she does is risking her life. I think they know they should be doing better but they don't want to give up their addictions (carbs and sweets) to do it. They see me doing it and refusing foods they try and push on me, it would be easier to be in denile about their bad habits if I would just not diet and stay fat.

    The issue I have with the whole thing, is that I am sick because of my weight. I am diabetic now and use a Cpap to sleep. It seems they should want me to be healthy and live a longer life. I am sure they do deep down but the addiction is stronger than their parental instincts. I won't let it affect me, if anything it makes me more determined to lead by example. I do however keep distance now. I just can't be around all the crap they eat all the time. I start to crave, I told them it's why I can't be around during any mealtimes nor can I be around if they have pies, cakes or cookies hanging out in the kitchen.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
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    If my friends or family members felt comfortable enough to speak that frankly regarding their feelings about my efforts to improve myself, I'd feel comfortable enough in return to tell them to mind their own f-in' business. If they're significantly overweight/out of shape, I'd probably add a remark like "If I wanted to look like you, I'd eat like you".
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    My advice is to keep your healthy lifestyle to yourself as much as possible. Don't bring it up in conversation, and if your family is preparing food, don't make them accommodate you or remark on the nutritional content of their food. Even if you're just talking about yourself in regards to your diet, they know that health is something that they should be working towards and if they aren't, that could lead to feelings of low self esteem or whatever-and you get credited for bringing about those negative feelings. Not your fault, but if you want to avoid the negative comments, probably a good idea to keep your food/exercise choices out of the conversation when possible.

    Yes.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    495491-boy-with-fingers-inb-ears.jpg

    Pretty much ^ this.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    Ignore them. You are doing this for you, not them. It is none of their business. If they are rude and won't drop the subject, ask them why on earth they would care about what YOU are eating. I'm sure it's an issue with themselves. Don't let it get you down!
  • sm1zzle
    sm1zzle Posts: 920 Member
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    That indeed sucks. Try your best to ignore/forget it. At the end of the day what other people say does not matter a bit... as cliche as that sounds.
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
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    I decided years ago to cut off toxic people from my life - period.
    There were no announcements, fanfare or drama. I merely drifted away quietly while connecting with other like-minded people.
    Soon, we moved out of state which provided a handy excuse.
    Life is too short to live with the drag of negative people in our lives.
    Suit yourself.
    As for me, ADIOS AMIGOS!
    :drinker:
  • fresh_start59
    fresh_start59 Posts: 590 Member
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    Two things come to mind.

    1. If you are eating healthy, watching your portions, exercising and improving your overall health and someone is giving you a hard time about it, then turn down their food offerings and ignore their rants. If it gets to the point where they are affecting your healthy choices, then tell them that you love them/like them, but that you have to distance yourself as you work on becoming a healthier you.

    2. If you are dieting with a low-calorie diet, not eating enough, doing an all-cabbage, all cereal, all liver (all anything) type of diet, then you might want to step back and review what it is that you are doing and what the person who is trying to sabotage your diet is actually trying to tell you.

    As someone who has thoroughly messed up my metabolism with a lifetime of diets, I was VERY concerned when my slightly chubby son dieted himself to skin and bones eating nothing but cereal with a bit of milk. In his mind (at the time) I was a shrew who was jealous about it his weight loss--when actually I was a mom deeply concerned about his health.
  • murphinchina
    murphinchina Posts: 72
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    Here is my status update from MFP yesterday: " I'm seriously gonna start a book..."Conversations at Triple H" (Hooven House of Horrors-my maiden name is Hooven). Mom: "Everybody in my family is SO abusive! My daughter is abusing me with chocolate!" (In reference to me throwing all the Christmas candy out). Dad, about my dinner of Skinny Taste pork chops and oven roasted carrots with rosemary, all natural, all made from scratch: "After eating that slop, you'll be lucky if you live to 50!" Me: "Ok, Dad, like your Deitz & Watson Beef Franks are so much better for you!" Dad: "They're HEALTHY! Better than that *kitten*!" Really, peeps, this is what I'm up against..."

    I've been living this way a long time. I have to laugh at it or else I will cry. Try losing weight in the 80s as a teen with no support and no internet friends to go to lol

    Hang in there. Friend me if you'd like a comical and warped twist on this!

    Tell your Dad that he and my dad could hang out and talk about their children's silly food choices. My dad used to eat hot dogs all the time, before his first heart attack... and if your dad wants to talk to mine, I'll give him the name of the cemetery and plot number... My dad would be 85 today, and even he knew that hot dogs aren't healthy!

    Don't give up... we're all behind you!

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