Rude comments at the gym

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Replies

  • jenihullett
    jenihullett Posts: 241 Member
    Sad as it may be, I've seen things like this happen at the gym as well. Sometimes the managers/employees are quick to respond, sometimes they have a "meh" attitude about the situation. In the end, I joined an all-female gym specifically to avoid guys like that. That fixed the problem until I had to move out of the area. Now that my DH is in the Army, I've started going to the gym on base... and they DO NOT put up with people with snarky attitudes. I'd say, talk to the gym management. If they don't care, take your business elsewhere. There are plenty of gyms out there where you can feel supported.
  • BSH2622
    BSH2622 Posts: 10 Member
    Easier said than done, But just ignore the *kitten* holes !!! YES you trainer should have said something to them because if you heard it so did he !!! BUT LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS, in a few months you will be a IN SHAPE HOTTY and they will still be obnoxious A$$E$ WITH NO LIFE !!! You just keep your chin up because we all know your battle that you are fighting, because 16 months ago Christmas day i was 198 lbs heavier than i am now. And all i can say is where the he)) are the hackers at now !!! You just hang in there, because you look great !!!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    if they were talking about GETTING big, are you sure they were talking about you and not as a way to egg each other on while they were working out?

    it's possible that your trainer didnt say anything because he understood they werent talking about you

    if i were 100% certain they were talking about me, i'd have a chat with them myself. as an adult i try to work my problems out myself before tattle telling. that's way too passive-aggressive for my tastes.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Let it go. Jerks will be jerks and there's not much you can do. You could tell the manager but what can the manager really do? You could have confronted them but you didn't. So now, just let it go.
  • kkimpel
    kkimpel Posts: 303 Member
    I guess it didn't occur to me at the time that I should have said something to someone right away. I was more focused on getting my workout completed. I'd never let that stop me from continuing to improve on my health and fitness goals. I still did my cardio after my session with my trainer because I didn't feel like "oh I need to leave right away because I'm sad or something." I go to the gym 5-6 days a week and have done so for about 2 months now. I am new to this gym but I don't feel uncomfortable here and the only way I'd switch is if they don't take this matter seriously. I have high hopes and positivity. that they would have gotten this matter solved if I had complained after it happened. So that's my bad on my part. I'll know in case an issue like this ever happens again.

    Oh honey.. it is in NO WAY your bad... you did absolutely nothing wrong
  • siddavila
    siddavila Posts: 1
    if they were talking about GETTING big, are you sure they were talking about you and not as a way to egg each other on while they were working out?

    it's possible that your trainer didnt say anything because he understood they werent talking about you

    if i were 100% certain they were talking about me, i'd have a chat with them myself. as an adult i try to work my problems out myself before tattle telling. that's way too passive-aggressive for my tastes.


    First off no one should feel bad and insecure about going to the gym and if anyone would make me feel like that I would complain, I'm sure when people have issues and want them to be resolved they talk to whoever is incharge just to get that peace of mind that isn't "tattle telling".
  • TMLPatrick
    TMLPatrick Posts: 558 Member
    Wow... that sucks. Going to the gym is already unnerving enough without being harassed by punk kids. Hopefully it doesn't happen again....
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I just don't pay attention to them, that's all. Whenever I'm at the gym, its pure business and I don't even care if guys and trainers alike give me weird stares for being the only woman in the free weights area squatting, lunging and deadlifting a 70kg (155 lbs.) barbell.

    In your case, better ignore them as well. No one really knows whether they are talking about you or not. Who knows if they were actually referring to another guy they seen or god-knows-who and not to you.
  • lisforlaurenn
    lisforlaurenn Posts: 28 Member
    To everyone who has said that they were not talking about me, yes that is quite possible and I DO realize this. I did ignore them in this case. I was simply seeking advice as to what someone else would have done had they been in my situation. I don't feel like me complaining to a gym manager would make me a "tattle tale." As many people have stated, I'm paying for this and I should feel comfortable. And any other time I've felt COMPLETELY comfortable at my gym for 2-2 and a half months now. I'm not trying to be a whiny fat girl nor am I seeking attention. Just wanted the advice of others.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I probably wouldn't address them directly. Maybe. I don't know. But the manager should know. I'm sure that is not the environment he wants in the gym.
  • bdamaster60
    bdamaster60 Posts: 595 Member
    you are there to improve your health and fitness. 2 teenage boys have no impact on your decision to improve yourself.
  • Kaathmandu
    Kaathmandu Posts: 129
    I have been on both ends of making the wrong assumption many times, so I try to be careful when I think someone is having a go at me. In your shoes, I would probably have eyeballed them (evidently I can summon up a death stare!) because I am insecure and suspicious :) and said something like "Pardon?"
    They will either back off, explain themselves, or ramp up the attack - in which case it will be obvious what their intentions are, and you will know how to deal with them.
    I work at a pool, and we had a situation where one of the pools was temporarily out of bounds because we couldn't see it. I had a woman, whose kids I had already chased out several times, look me up and down with disgust and say "what are YOU going to do, save them?!"
    So I listed my many life saving, first aid and CPR qualifications current at the time and said "yes, actually!"
    She didn't have a comeback, and looked like the stupid, judgemental fool that she was.
    Yes, I'm over copping crap too.
    Fortunately, these days I'm usually getting compliments! :)
  • diverchic73
    diverchic73 Posts: 314 Member
    Sooo? Did you report them? I hope that the gym was supportive as, no matter who, what, where you are, nobody deserves to be harassed!
  • mominwi419
    mominwi419 Posts: 87
    Regardless of whether or not the comments were directed at you, NO ONE deserves to put up with that obnoxious behavior.

    I would speak with management. It's awesome that you'll continue going to the gym no matter what comments were said, but someone else may not have the courage to come back after hearing that.
  • jayche
    jayche Posts: 1,128 Member
    You sure they were talking about you?
  • RobynLB
    RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
    You should have said something to put those punk kids in their place. There is no reason to quietly abide by anyone teasing or taunting you, and it would be good for your self esteem to stand up for yourself. I would have either talked to them like I imagine my mom would talk to kids acting up (i.e. made them feel like ashamed scolded children) or said something along the lines of, "I'm big, and I am at the gym working to get myself in shape. What are you doing to work on not being a little twit?"
  • BrotherBill913
    BrotherBill913 Posts: 662 Member
    First off I'm sorry that happened to you. Teenage boys can be stupid at best sometimes. I agree with anyone that says you can take it up with the gym management. You pay to be there just like them. Your a beautiful young lady and they should of gotten straight plain pimp smacked by your trainer. :) Keep the faith in yourself and don't allow a cpl of goofs to deter you... Your better than that :)
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    I guess my sick and twisted *kitten* would have said "based on the lack of buldge in your pants we know it wouldn't be either of you!"
  • DoingitWell
    DoingitWell Posts: 560 Member
    Speak with the gym manager. I personally pay too much money for my gym membership to be harassed by someone's kids. If I was told my children were rude and obnoxious in a public forum, they wouldn't be allowed back into that forum until they grew up. If its a good gym they will take care of that for you. I work out at the Y and there are standards of conduct for gym participants.


    THis
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    My favourite revenge on people like this is direct confrontation. It's the last thing they expect, and the look on their face makes it all worth while.

    Stroll straight up to them, look them in the eye and say 'I'm sorry, were you speaking to me'?

    I've done this a few times, and it never ceases to make me feel better, and them feel a whole lot worse.

    Don't be embarrassed. Don't let them knock you. You have to know you're a better person than they are....
  • littlekat1
    littlekat1 Posts: 53 Member
    I would talk to the manager at the gym or file a complaint. That kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. You are there to work on your fitness not be made fun of by a couple of jerks.
  • ilovedeadlifts
    ilovedeadlifts Posts: 2,923 Member
    I'd speak to the gym manager.

    Personally I think the trainer should have handled the situation. You don't let people degrade your clients in front of you.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    I noticed two particularly loud teenage boys in the gym.
    I heard some snickering and laughter from them which I was pretty sure was directed me since I'm pretty overweight, or for lack of a better phrase fat.

    First one - they are loud teenage boys. Teenage boys are dumb (as are teenage girls)

    Second - they may not have been talking about you at all. The comments of "Someone's getting big in here" I have heard crap like that in my gym and it was directed the one of the other kids who was working out with the group - of course being overweight I got a little upset but then I figured you know what? I am here for ME and for MY health and if they want to judge me so be it. It says an awful lot more about them than you.

    Just keep doing what your doing. If you are there and it happens again go talk to the manager or a senior staff member- you do NOT have to put up crap like that EVER.
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
    Tell them to piss off and mind their own business :smile: wankers...
  • martinbeks
    martinbeks Posts: 255 Member
    I agree that if you see them again, and they continue making rude comments, you should mention it to the gym manager. I work out alone, so I wear headphones to avoid hearing anything that might be directed at me. I like to get in and get out, and will do whatever I need to do to keep it that way.
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
    Let's give the trainer the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he thought it was best not to make a big deal out of this in order to spare the OP's feelings. Maybe he caught up with the punks later & busted them.

    Considering the trainer is an employee of the gym, I think had the OP confronted the punks he would have stepped up. Think this through, if he had made an issue out of this maybe the OP would have been too embarrassed to return.

    BTW I would have walked over and asked the little boys to let me in on the joke & explain just what was so funny.

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