Called fat by a stranger.

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  • ebailey710
    ebailey710 Posts: 271 Member
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    I work at a preschool, and some of the kids there make comments about my body. "Your belly looks funny" "your belly is big" and my personal favorite, "you have babies in your belly". The worst part is, they're too young to understand what they're really saying, and it is difficult to get them to stop. It doesn't bother me so much when it's just me and them, but when they say it in front of other teachers, I feel embarrassed and hurt.
  • zoober
    zoober Posts: 226 Member
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    Well, 12 year old kids can be pretty cruel, I think that's always been true. While they have to be responsible for what they say and do, it does reflect the general decline in civility that the anonymous internet has gifted us with. It also speaks very poorly of their parents. You can raise respectful kids, but the counter-intuitive part that most parents have trouble grasping is that it requires you to respect them. That doesn't mean indulging their whims, to the contrary. You shape the behavior, a lot of it by your example, but respect the kid. Kids who insult first have self-esteem issues. I remember about 2 years ago, somebody in a bar looked at me and asked when the baby was due - I had a pretty big front porch at that time. I drew inspiration from it. You keep up your healthy behavior, and please always always respect yourself first and foremost. You can lead by example too, with or without kids of your own.
  • ToshaFeb268
    ToshaFeb268 Posts: 71
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    I rejected a guy at a club once, and he randomly called me a fat b*tch. I guess he was mad I refused to dance with him. It really stung and ruined the rest of the night! How was I supposed to shake my stuff if I was feeling that unconfident!?

    People are rude. People are mean. But most people aren't making a positive life change like we are. Just keep pushing forward and keep your head held high!

    This happened to me too, except it wasn't face to face it was online. I use to frequent this singles chat room when I was single and the guy would come in using a different screen name to call me fat. Now when I sent him a photo of me previously, he thought I was beautiful until I would no longer chat with him, because he treated me like I was a cyber *kitten*.
  • shierrarobin
    shierrarobin Posts: 181
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    I've never been called fat by a stranger. I guess they were either too scared or didn't care. But I have been called fat by a friend. He didn't outright say I was fat. He walked up to me and asked if I was pregnant. Obviously, I said no. He replied with, "Well, you look like it." So I kind of know how you feel.

    I agree with kids being mean sometimes, but I don't think they're all bad. It really depends on how the parents raise them. If the parents let them get away with murder and let them disrespect adults then they will be mean to everyone because they think it's okay.
  • mdhummel
    mdhummel Posts: 201 Member
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    At least they were twelve so you can excuse their lack of manners. Last weekend my mother-in-law asked me if I was jealous of my sister because she is so much skinnier than me. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
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    I was made fun of my whole kid hood. Even so Ive just recently been able to run past the busstop when kids are standing out there. i have to remind myself. Im a big deal. i do big things. stupid things kids or people say arent going to mess with my plans.
  • iorahkwano
    iorahkwano Posts: 709 Member
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    Kids will say anything... "You're fat, your nose is big, you're bald, etc." It's up to parents to correct them when they're young (3-6 years old) and teach them that there are certain things you don't point out because it hurts people's feelings.

    Too many parents think it's funny and laugh when their 5 year olds say this, but all they're teaching them us that "This is funny, keep doing it." Well it's not funny when they're teenagers and still doing it to people, even strangers. It's disrespectful and teaches them to judge people by their looks! Being overweight doesn't give others permission to ridicule or harass that person!
  • kellieym
    kellieym Posts: 8 Member
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    Unfortunately it's not just kids. My worst memory of such an event was when I had just finished a walk at my local park and was returning to my car. This old guy walks by me and says "honey is you are going to take off that weight you are going to have to walk faster than that!" Really what makes people think they have the right?
  • tobeslim618
    tobeslim618 Posts: 37 Member
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    Yes, just recently from a grown 'man'. He pulled up close behind me in his truck and since I was waiting for these idiots to move out of the handicapped parking space he got 'upset' and when I got out of the car he started yelling and calling me all kinda fat this and fat that and I just looked at him and said Happy New Year! and he just kept on...he was my age too. So sad that people have left their manners at home or that they were never taught any.

    Hang in there because you are beautiful.
  • loserbaby84
    loserbaby84 Posts: 241 Member
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    Ignoring these kids is the best idea and remember they are kids, cursing back at them only affirms to them that cursing is okay. You're the adult, showing a better example is important, even if you're furious.

    This.

    Yes, the child was rude .. keyword being child. Try to keep it together when handling children. You're the adult, act like one.
    Personally, I would have used the "mommy voice" on him. That always did it for me even if I wasn't a quarter disrespectful as this kid!
    Parents need to remember that even if they want to give their kids what they didn't have, not to give them EVERYTHING.
  • amberlykay1014
    amberlykay1014 Posts: 608 Member
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    Kids are really, really rude. I taught middle/high school for 3 years after I graduated college and I was completely appalled by the things that 7th-9th graders can say, even to a teacher! I'm so sorry you had to go through that experience!

    I remember telling myself, "I am not going to let some 12-year-old punk ruin my day today!" You're better than that!
  • Megzfitlog
    Megzfitlog Posts: 35
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    I was at a grocery store, standing at the dairy case. Two girls who were 13-14 years old stood behind me. One was taking video of me with her phone while talking about SHAMU shopping. I waited until I saw them with a parental figure and stopped them. I told them they need to watch what they say about people because I was once skinnier than them until my "accident" left me unable to do basic exercises and that I'll always be a much more beautiful human than either of them. The look on their faces and the "mother" was priceless!!
  • geekpryncess
    geekpryncess Posts: 118 Member
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    I agree it hurts, but I wouldn't have responded to those kids like that. Usually the best bet is to pull the "what is your parent's phone number" card, or just ignore. I've never been called names by kids though, but I have had to do that with kids I've seen misbehaving in my neighborhood. Usually that gets them to straighten up.

    *IF* I ever do get called a hurtful name in the future, my planned comeback is going to be along the lines of "I can change my size, can you change your attitude?" - or - if I'm feeling more snarky: "at least I'm not ugly inside like you are" depends on the situation. Hopefully that doesn't happen and I don't have to get mean. (I wouldn't respond that way to children though.)

    I can only recall once being made fun as an adult, that was about 4 years ago when I was in the process of losing about 50 lbs. I was down to about 180 and was on my daily lunch break walk, and a couple of guys drove by and yelled at me, called me fat. It bothered me some, because honestly I'm used to guys going by and getting cat-calls, even when I was heavier (apparently I have a nice bottom???LOL!) But then I thought about it and figure if grown adults are going to behave that immature, then whatever they say or think about me really doesn't affect me because they are beneath me. And I went on to lose 20 more lbs and was very nicely shaped and happy for a couple years (until I had a job loss and depression and gained it back). But I'm back and more determined than ever.

    As a kid, I got it all the time mostly from immature little boys, I remember one kid in particular made fun of me a lot in middle school (and I realize now I was never even fat or heavy in school, I just wasn't a stick..I got my curves early). But then I saw him a few years later in high school and he had grown up and turned into this big fat sloppy ugly manboy...I didn't say anything but he sure kept his mouth shut when he saw me! I love Karma. :D
  • sarijw
    sarijw Posts: 5 Member
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    Let alone kids, I got called "fatso" by a woman older than me when I was walking with a friend of mine. She rode her bike past us from the rear and just called out "on your right, fatso!" She was gone before I could say anything in reply, but I'm not even sure if I would have. I just don't get the point of intentionally hurting other peoples' feelings.
  • cm1458
    cm1458 Posts: 742 Member
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    That was very rude! But you cant let others' opinions get to you. The only opinion that matters is yours. I used to be bothered by things like that. I spent countless months being depressed and then I realized that life is too short to let others' opinions get to you like that. I was told just this week "I thought you were a dude" and I calmly asked "and why did you think that" he repiled "well you have really boxy big square shoulders, short hair, a square jaw and youre really tall" I just laughed and plainly told him i didnt care what his opinion was. You gotta love your body and flaunt whatcha got! I still get called fat to this day, but I do not, in any way, let that influence how I see myself. I don't think Im fat. Hence: Im not fat.
    and as for the having children part.. .not ALL kids are like that. It all depends on how they're raised and who they spend their time with. keep on keepin on! :)
  • zoleary_091092
    zoleary_091092 Posts: 1
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    I got called fat today by a random person on fb. I am not the skinniest person but How can someone just message me and attack me like that! I hate how people can just say things like this and get away with it. Whereas us the people who yet hit by the unkind and nasty comments end up balling our eyes out in our beds wishing that we could have eaten chocolate this Easter even thou we restrained to stay on track of weightloss. Screw you world!
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    There is no excuse but, they were kids. I am sure you were a kid once. I wouldn't be so hurt, they were kids. It is not like your husband or friend called you fat. Relax and take a breath, When you are my age you will have been called a lot more.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    Ignoring these kids is the best idea and remember they are kids, cursing back at them only affirms to them that cursing is okay. You're the adult, showing a better example is important, even if you're furious.

    This.

    Yes, the child was rude .. keyword being child. Try to keep it together when handling children. You're the adult, act like one.
    Personally, I would have used the "mommy voice" on him. That always did it for me even if I wasn't a quarter disrespectful as this kid!
    Parents need to remember that even if they want to give their kids what they didn't have, not to give them EVERYTHING.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Well said.
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
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    People are rude and are going to be ****s, but just ignore the hecklers. The worst thing is you let them get you out of your routine next just keep going on
  • charman99
    charman99 Posts: 88 Member
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    I once had a guy tell me the only thing I had going for me was my boobs because the rest of me was gross....I mean he wasn't 12 like what happened to you but I know what you mean by not wanting to have children. My husband and I were in a candy store at the mall and these 7&8 year old were just pushing us out of the way ect... They have no respect! Sorry that happened to you sweety!

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