Treated differently?

christy3565
christy3565 Posts: 349
in Motivation and Support
I'm curious if anyone is treated differently by the public since their weightloss? I see a difference in how strangers react to me. I don't know if it's because I look better (so many avoid the fat lady) or if it's because my confidence is higher and I'm noticing them?

Thoughts?
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Replies

  • trekkietaz
    trekkietaz Posts: 81
    yes it is funny that when you are fat people are nice to you but they don't go out of their way to speak to you but when you lose the weight then they try to be a lot nicer to you I have had more women flirt we me since I loss the weight then before so yes people treat you diffent because of weight loss
  • jennfranklin
    jennfranklin Posts: 434 Member
    I think it is a combination of both! :)
  • Kelly_Runs_NC
    Kelly_Runs_NC Posts: 474 Member
    I think it is both to be honest. Looking back I can see both.
  • salcha76
    salcha76 Posts: 287 Member
    Yes....for sure.....I was told that guys always went for the DUFF....dumb ugly fat friend.....every circle usually has one....well...i'm not it anymore. Also, from reading on here, guys go "hoggin" for big girls....how very awful & cruel. I guess big girls have low self esteem & are an easy score?

    I agree with you though, it's a combination of both.....and hooray for them both!
  • rachelbethany
    rachelbethany Posts: 211 Member
    I've only lost 20 pounds, and I wasn't necessarily overweight to begin with, but I do think people treat me differently. However, I also think people treat me quite a bit differently when I have on more makeup, have fixed my hair, and have on some fancy shoes or whatever. And I honestly think that attention to how I'm styled, more than what I weigh, is what gets the greater response. I think this is true with lots of "plus-sized" girls I know. I know some who are fashionistas and people just fawn over them. Others wear sweatshirts and ponytails all the time and probably get overlooked much too often. But I notice that I care more about how I look/am willing to try harder when I weigh less and am feeling better about myself. Do you think you dress differently/style your makeup/hair differently than before you lost weight? I may be totally off, because I have never lost 100 or even 50 pounds, but my theory is that it has more to do with confidence/style than with size. Although there are always exceptions, and rude people who are just idiots about a heavier person.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
    I think it is a combination of both! :)

    Concur.

    I have experienced this. Not so much from men yet, but I feel like I have had more interest from women since I dropped a few pounds.
  • christy3565
    christy3565 Posts: 349
    I've only lost 20 pounds, and I wasn't necessarily overweight to begin with, but I do think people treat me differently. However, I also think people treat me quite a bit differently when I have on more makeup, have fixed my hair, and have on some fancy shoes or whatever. And I honestly think that attention to how I'm styled, more than what I weigh, is what gets the greater response. I think this is true with lots of "plus-sized" girls I know. I know some who are fashionistas and people just fawn over them. Others wear sweatshirts and ponytails all the time and probably get overlooked much too often. But I notice that I care more about how I look/am willing to try harder when I weigh less and am feeling better about myself. Do you think you dress differently/style your makeup/hair differently than before you lost weight? I may be totally off, because I have never lost 100 or even 50 pounds, but my theory is that it has more to do with confidence/style than with size. Although there are always exceptions, and rude people who are just idiots about a heavier person.


    I never left the house without making sure my hair and makeup were perfect and I was dressed nicely. Funny now that I've lost weight I'm not as particular with how I look when I go out lol.
  • rachelbethany
    rachelbethany Posts: 211 Member
    [/quote]

    I never left the house without making sure my hair and makeup were perfect and I was dressed nicely. Funny now that I've lost weight I'm not as particular with how I look when I go out lol.
    [/quote]

    Well, I guess that theory goes out the window, then! lol. I guess people really do just judge immediately people by their size. Fortunately not everyone is in that boat.
  • DoingitWell
    DoingitWell Posts: 560 Member
    I think it's a combination of both also.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    Christy........you're just very pretty......very pretty lady:flowerforyou:
  • BlueDancer
    BlueDancer Posts: 15 Member
    I REALLY notice a difference on the other hand. That I used to be treated very well by people (generally) and since getting fat I am generally treated like crap (doors slamming in my face, etc.).
  • christy3565
    christy3565 Posts: 349
    Thank you Resty :)

    I do find myself going on the defense sometimes when I'm looked at, like I'm automatically thinking "what are YOU looking at" lol. Society just puts so much emphasis on having to be thin that anyone not "thin" is scrutinized.
  • Yani51
    Yani51 Posts: 48 Member
    I get the feeling that both men and woman have a more positive view of me these days and see me a little more as being an achiever and a confident person. They certainly express their admiration of my weight and fitness achievement.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Yup and it aint fair. When I lost a lot of weight before I was recieved all kinds of attention. It made me very angry. I dont think I was any more or less outgoing. I was pretty much the same but now I was somehow worthy.

    People suck donkey balls!
  • Debbjones
    Debbjones Posts: 278 Member
    I agree it is a combination of both... but what is wrong with appreciating the new way someone looks at you? Losing weight and getting into shape takes a lot of work and determination. Enjoy the fact that others appreciate your hard work and use the new found attention in a positive way.It is not necessary to go back in time and complain that it is not fair... it is just their first look, first time they notice you... now on the other hand, if you refer to people you have known for a long time treating you differently because you lost weight... now that is wrong and they have a problem.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Personally I treat everyone the same, regardless of skin color, weight, or gender (yes, I flirt with men AND women equally).

    What WILL change how I treat someone is their attitude. People who are standoffish or distant I won't chat up as much. People who smile and are outgoing and friendly I treat with more exuberance. I am NICE to all, but more enthusiastically nice to those who are nice in return.

    In my experience, low self confidence can come off as *****iness and/or standoffishness.

    Have YOU changed since you lost weight? Or have people changed in how they treat you?

    I think this is a very serious thing to consider.

    I know I am the same person fat or skinny. I just am who I am and present myself to the world the same no matter my weight but I also know many people who DO change when they lose weight. So maybe you're one of those people who have changed in your approach and that's changing how people respond?
  • christy3565
    christy3565 Posts: 349
    With those that know me I am the same person. I'm the clown and they are used to that. I'm talking about strangers in public. I do think that my approach has changed, instead of looking at the floor I look them in the eye. As far as being *****y or standoffish, I haven't. I've always smiled back and have manners, but I have to admit that I wouldn't be the one to smile first.
  • jasonr1009
    jasonr1009 Posts: 342 Member
    unfortunately, its not just the "getting more noticed" part for me. When i was bigger, i was treated as the guy that was literally just not ever taken seriously or respected. Now that im not as heavy, people make eye contact more, im listened to more, and yes i get more looks from women. Its just a sad reality of life, society, and maybe even biology.
  • dg09
    dg09 Posts: 754
    Without a doubt! It's not entirely because they look down on the heavier you, though. A lot of it has to do with how you carry yourself, this influences how people interact with you more than anything.
  • carrietehbear
    carrietehbear Posts: 384 Member
    I see it! I get way more attention from guys. More people hold doors open for me. It's subtle little things but I notice a difference.
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
    When shopping for clothes, the store staff seem to be more friendly and willing to help
  • jasonr1009
    jasonr1009 Posts: 342 Member
    When shopping for clothes, the store staff seem to be more friendly and willing to help

    YES

    I like to shop at express men if i want something basic like a shirt or something. When i was heavier, i got NO HELP whatsoever from anyone in that store ever. Now that ive lost weight, I will literally have a sales person up my *kitten* wanting to help, make suggestions, anything. Its sad. Im the same person that ive always been. Just a little more in control of my weight
  • becky6m
    becky6m Posts: 108 Member
    I also have to say I think its both. Or from my experience. 100lbs ago I didn't care about me. I didn't fix my hair or even go out matching. (which is horrible I know) After I lost all the weight, I cared more about me and the way I presented myself. Before I would never have turned any heads, now when I walk into a store I feel like I have something on my pants because I get head turns constantly. My mom was actually making fun of me because I ran into her at the store and we were talking by the door, she said every guy that has walked out of that door has looked or taken a double take. It bothers me. It is what it is.
  • superwomanpinkmo4
    superwomanpinkmo4 Posts: 4
    It's funny that you posted this , b/c this has been on my mind all day. It seems as if males are positive ( which we all know way)lol , but some females that know me before my weight lost are negative... It use to bother me but today I made a vow not to let it make me give up...
  • superwomanpinkmo4
    superwomanpinkmo4 Posts: 4
    I know u are so right...
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
    I think it is a combination of both! :)

    This! I've noticed it happening to me, too!
  • christy3565
    christy3565 Posts: 349
    It's funny that you posted this , b/c this has been on my mind all day. It seems as if males are positive ( which we all know way)lol , but some females that know me before my weight lost are negative... It use to bother me but today I made a vow not to let it make me give up...

    I do have a couple of friends that haven't talked to me in months because of my weightloss. Admittedly so. I was always the big girl in the bunch, now I'm not and they can't handle it. Very sad but honestly shows me who really are my friends
  • souzouchan
    souzouchan Posts: 80
    I'm still considered a bit big but I'm still finding that guys are flirting with me a bit more which is cool. Had a guy at the game store flirt, and even when I said I was buying a game for my fiance, he was STILL flirting a bit. Hahaha! :laugh:
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
    Yes....for sure.....I was told that guys always went for the DUFF....dumb ugly fat friend.....every circle usually has one....well...i'm not it anymore. Also, from reading on here, guys go "hoggin" for big girls....how very awful & cruel. I guess big girls have low self esteem & are an easy score?

    I agree with you though, it's a combination of both.....and hooray for them both!

    That's what losers what no respect for women (or themselves) do.
  • solarpower4
    solarpower4 Posts: 250 Member
    Along a similar vein, when I used to dress "comfortably" (big sweatshirts, pants too big, Doc Martin-type shoes), women were more friendly and men not so. Once I finally got a clue that guys are attracted to looks and not to brains ('cause duh, brainiac, how can you judge that at a glance?), and started wearing clothes that FIT, male strangers literally followed me around (no, I'll never get used to that) while women were noticeably less friendly. and when I say clothes that fit, I mean nicely tailored, business-type clothing with plenty of room to breathe, not skin-tight, skimpy street-walker-type clothing.

    So, it goes both ways, though I do see more bias by sales clerks against my obese friends when we are shopping. It used to really bug me, but maybe it does have a little bit to do with the greater difficulty of finding well-made clothes that flatter a much bigger body?? I see so many heavy people wearing huge sacks (like I used to even though I was never very big) and I want to point them to the stores that have clothes DESIGNED from the outset for an overweight body. It makes such a huge difference no matter what your shape or size!

    I also agree with one of the posters above who pointed out that it DOES take a lot of discipline and determination and perseverance to lose weight and stay fit -- and that definitely garners much more attraction from the opposite gender.

    And self-confidence is almost ALWAYS more appealing, even downright sexy, no matter what the size!

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