Newbie, with a twist.

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  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Posts: 77
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    1200 for a woman of 230lb IS TOOOOOO LOW!!!!!!!!!! I urg to despratly NOT to let her eat that little! YES she will lose wieght , it will be impossible to maintain and her metabolism will slow and she will gain it all back, trust me on this!! go to fitnessfrog.com it breaks it down for you my guess is with strength she should eat about 1900 a day WITH cardio and NOT eatting calories back, encourage walks and the MAIN thing you can do is change your life style your diet and dont allow junk in the house, I know how she feels as i was that girl too and i put my hubby through a roller coaster i tell you! i hope she talks to a nutritionist before eatting so few calories, slow and steady wins the race! she will lose it slower but she will be healthy and fit and keep it off insted of getting an eatting disorder or gaining it all back and further hurting her confidancxe and self image
  • MrUNC50
    MrUNC50 Posts: 28
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    as a 5'3" woman that started out at 238 I understand your girlfriends challenges. Family can be very hurtful without even realizing it. Just start doing things with her. Go for walks, or go swimming. If you go out to eat, go to places that have great options without a ton of fried foods.
    1200 calories and working out is NOT enough for someone of that age or size. I would suggest that you go to scooby's site and check out his tdee or bmr calculator to get her numbers set right.

    When she joins you can ask her to add me. I'd love to see her smile transform, it is an incredible thing to see!

    Good luck! and most of all, just love and support her.

    I will let her know to add you for sure. Thanks.

    What are some workout routines you do/ is eating to get the your caloric intake hard to do? These are things Im worried about and want to avoid so she doesnt feel like a failure again.
  • MrUNC50
    MrUNC50 Posts: 28
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    1200 for a woman of 230lb IS TOOOOOO LOW!!!!!!!!!! I urg to despratly NOT to let her eat that little! YES she will lose wieght , it will be impossible to maintain and her metabolism will slow and she will gain it all back, trust me on this!! go to fitnessfrog.com it breaks it down for you my guess is with strength she should eat about 1900 a day WITH cardio and NOT eatting calories back, encourage walks and the MAIN thing you can do is change your life style your diet and dont allow junk in the house, I know how she feels as i was that girl too and i put my hubby through a roller coaster i tell you! i hope she talks to a nutritionist before eatting so few calories, slow and steady wins the race! she will lose it slower but she will be healthy and fit and keep it off insted of getting an eatting disorder or gaining it all back and further hurting her confidancxe and self image

    I understand 1200 is too low for her. I guess I just got caught up in the 1200 is ok fade haha

    is it hard to eat 1900 good cal a day and still feel full?
  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Posts: 77
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    she wont need a ton more she will need about 1900-2300 calories of LEAN meat and high preotien! lots of veggies her plate should be half veggies, 1/4 lean meat/beans/fish/ect, 1/4 complex carbs, all the workouts in the world wont help if you eat crap! i love lifting wieghts but at her wieght cardio would be good it will give her energy and help her feel better, but that doesnt mean she has to run just walking is great!!! also 1lb a week is prefferred, 3lbs id get worried hard on the body and the heart
  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Posts: 77
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    I understand 1200 is too low for her. I guess I just got caught up in the 1200 is ok fade haha

    is it hard to eat 1900 good cal a day and still feel full?
    [/quote]
    i eat about that i am full, protein and fiber will help her feel full, complex carbs, brown rice, brown bread, whole grains ect. NO sugar, no white anything becasse it makes you more hungry, it will take a while for her to adjust and if at 1900 she is STARVING then giver her veggies with some protein i think if your eatting healthy then your doing good! keep it healthy and you cant fail :) also be patient she will fall off the wagon a few times but thats ok :)
  • MrUNC50
    MrUNC50 Posts: 28
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    she wont need a ton more she will need about 1900-2300 calories of LEAN meat and high preotien! lots of veggies her plate should be half veggies, 1/4 lean meat/beans/fish/ect, 1/4 complex carbs, all the workouts in the world wont help if you eat crap! i love lifting wieghts but at her wieght cardio would be good it will give her energy and help her feel better, but that doesnt mean she has to run just walking is great!!! also 1lb a week is prefferred, 3lbs id get worried hard on the body and the heart

    Would you recommend more days of weight training than cardio? What types of weight training do you prefer?
  • juliedor
    juliedor Posts: 72 Member
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    Good on you for caring so much about your girlfriend.
    If she told you about MFP tell her you've looked at it and you want to do it to increase your health and fitness.Ask her to do it with you so you can motivate each other.If she doesn't want to, you do it she'll soon see the positives.
    Good luck.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I think all though your intentions are good youre research might ultimately backfire. If she's not active on this site is she doing any other things to help herself?

    I'm a bit confused. Maybe she just wants to know you accept her body no mater what. How would telling her how to eat cause her to learn to love herself?

    You know learning to have a healthy relationship with your body and food is a bit like being a recovering alcoholic unless you admit you have a problem and take responsiblity for your self and do it for yourself all the best intentions in the world are for naught.

    Maybe I'm not clear on what exactly she or you want.
  • MrUNC50
    MrUNC50 Posts: 28
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    I think all though your intentions are good youre research might ultimately backfire. If she's not active on this site is she doing any other things to help herself?

    I'm a bit confused. Maybe she just wants to know you accept her body no mater what. How would telling her how to eat cause her to learn to love herself?

    You know learning to have a healthy relationship with your body and food is a bit like being a recovering alcoholic unless you admit you have a problem and take responsiblity for your self and do it for yourself all the best intentions in the world are for naught.

    Maybe I'm not clear on what exactly she or you want.

    I understand what you are saying. I do fear all my research will backfire but she wants to to do this for herself but doesnt know how to accept help from others because she thinks its really criticism in disguise. I just want her to be the happy girl I know she is and can be, and not just when she is with me. Make sense?
  • melmonroe
    melmonroe Posts: 111
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    I'd start by finding an activity that involves moving the body more that you can do together without adding food to the activity -- IE evening walks together holding hands etc. The exercise will help her feel better and maybe it will motivate her to make other changes on her own.
  • skyeashlee
    skyeashlee Posts: 108 Member
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    i feel like i am reading something my partner wrote (and dad as well)... i lost 48lb / 23kg thanks to MFP last year.

    I started on 1500 cals and am not on 1200-1250 (still working towards my goal)

    I think ur GF needs that ''click'' i was told about- where something in the brain triggers and weight loss begins for real , not yo-yo style...
    Firstly I would 220% recommend MFP, it is amazing, you ar4e in control, it teaches you and just overall has been life changing.
    You can support her. be a good influence, and get her signed up !!!
    good luck, tell her to add me when she's ready :O)

    I have some before/ after pics to, with more coming soon!

    Cheers
  • kairisika
    kairisika Posts: 131 Member
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    the best exercise for a person in her position is simply the one she will do.
    Does she track her food at all? You can't track calories for someone else, and it's hard to suggest someone else does it.
    If the two of you can just get active, that will start a pattern that will help her feel better (whether or not she loses any weight from it).
    If she's fairly sedentary now, any kind of activity will be hugely positive, and anything that she likes doing will be good. If she gets into being active and is interested in making a workout plan, then you can look at more, but at this point it isn't likely to do her any good to make up any kind of 'you should be doing these exercises' and is more likely to turn her off the whole idea.

    Bottom Line: You can't do anything about her eating habits unless *she* decides she is interested in tracking her calorie intake. If she is, then she should start tracking and see what she's eating now, and she can start reducing from there. But you can't do that for her, or push her to do it successfully.
    You can't put her on an exercise program and have her stick with it.

    I would suggest just looking for regular active things the two of you can do together (go for a walk instead of a dinner. Or at least a walk and then dinner when you go out, for example). From there, see what she thinks. If she wants to change things, you can help her out with information. But it will have to come from her.

    Exercise is a known serotonin-booster. It can help her mental state and may lead to her interested in continuing more regular exercise. But if it doesn't, it will still be good for the both of you.

    (I don't add anyone as a friend or share my profile, despite commenting in the forums when I'm bored. Nothing personal.)
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    I feel like you shouldn't be posting this. Personally I'd be embarrassed if my boyfriend was telling a bunch of online strangers my weight and all that. Has she actually asked you to do the research for her? If she hasn't, then she might be offended when you present the information to her. I think you need to let her research and make changes on her own. You should just encourage her. And give her lots of compliments to make her feel good about herself.
  • ajswriter
    ajswriter Posts: 117 Member
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    Get her on here too & do it together. "Hey, babe, I found this cool site. I think it'll help me with my goal to get more muscular. Will you do it with me to help me stay on track?" It's so awesome that you're a support system for her--some people get the opposite from their significant others.

    Why don't you try doing something active that's fun together, too, like dance lessons?
  • heisk
    heisk Posts: 19 Member
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    Get her to join MFP, and add me as a friend! I started around where's she's at! I was at 240 and realized something had to change:) I def have a long way to go but its been a great journey! I also began changing my lifestyle with the love and support of my boyfriend! I don't know how comfortable I'd feel if he were posting about me. But working as a team was just what I needed! NO JUdgement.. just an example to follow and helping eachother make better decisions. We started Power 90 together, & i should really get back into it! A push from you will definitely help! I know thats what I needed. Just make sure its supportive and not judgemental! Also, 1200 calories is wayyy too low to begin! She'll feel like she's starving herself and that'll will just make it way to easy to give up. I think i lost almost 40 pounds before it put me down to 1200 calories. Just follow what MFP says with her height, weight, and activity level and it will lower her intake as she loses. best of luck to you and your lady! I fell off a little myself and I'm trying to jump back into a good routine for 2013!
  • MrUNC50
    MrUNC50 Posts: 28
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    I feel like you shouldn't be posting this. Personally I'd be embarrassed if my boyfriend was telling a bunch of online strangers my weight and all that. Has she actually asked you to do the research for her? If she hasn't, then she might be offended when you present the information to her. I think you need to let her research and make changes on her own. You should just encourage her. And give her lots of compliments to make her feel good about herself.

    She has told me to do the research.
  • MrUNC50
    MrUNC50 Posts: 28
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    Get her on here too & do it together. "Hey, babe, I found this cool site. I think it'll help me with my goal to get more muscular. Will you do it with me to help me stay on track?" It's so awesome that you're a support system for her--some people get the opposite from their significant others.

    Why don't you try doing something active that's fun together, too, like dance lessons?

    Well being a former hip hop teacher I love to dance and she does too. We just need to make time for it ha
  • MrUNC50
    MrUNC50 Posts: 28
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    I appreciate all the feedback from everyone on here but I need to backtrack and let you all know that she does go to the gym. is it 5 days a week, no. but it is at least 3. She has actually recently taken it upon herself to go to the gym. I know I probably shouldn't be mentioning all this about her on a website but this site seems really supportive so I thought I would give it a chance. Maybe I am regretting that decision.
  • RedBullLiz
    RedBullLiz Posts: 469 Member
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    It really all depends on her. She has to be the one to realize what she wants to lose and “fix”.
    Have her just log in what she normally eats for about a week or so and then look back on it to see what she would like to change. That’s how it worked for me. I wasn’t even that kind of person to workout whatsoever. Now, I love it. I want more of it.
    It will take time. Slow or fast changing notices will happen.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
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    Try to encourage her to get on here- it's a great tool in her 'get fit' journey! And just be supportive, try to understand when she is too tired for anything else (because she's working out so much) or when she cooks an all veggie meal, or doesnt want to go out for drinks (too many calories!) ... just support her 100% . Good luck to you both!

    *Ditto*

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