Professional secrets
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Having worked in a few fields and having a large number of social friends who work odd jobs and share their secrets I figured I'd be a snitch and share some
Comcast
You can call them once a few months and say that you're having a hard time financially etc and that you're looking for some help or you will be forced to shut down (don't say you will switch to AT&T or other competition for better rates. We don't give a crap about it anymore). Be nice. Simple things such as asking "Hey man, hows your day going? Hope not a lot of d***s bothering you today" will make them instantly like you and wanna make them help you. They have to deal with sooo many A-holes that just a little bit of politeness goes a long way.
You can ask for some discount which they will gladly give you (usually like $15 per month) if you're nice and express your financial hardship. You can also ask for free premium services. They usually have HBO or starz or something on a promotion for free or dirt cheap that they will make it free anyways for you. It'll be usually for 6 months. They can even put you into the system as a "new" customer even if you're been with them for years and you will get the new customer prices which are like 50% cheaper. But for this you need to know the person rather well so talk to the comcast agents that come to home.
Starbucks and similar coffee chains
About 1/4th of their customers ask for special milk (like soy and crap). Most of the employees might just be feeling lazy and give you whatever is close by anyways (2% regular or whole milk).
Also, the managers make mistake in orders all the time and order the wrong milk or something in larger quantity. So if they ordered whole milk and its about to go bad, the employees will just use that whole milk regardless of what you order.
Most coffee shop employees HATE hipsters. They go out of their way to make the order wrong
convenience store
The independent owned store owners usually don't accept many coupons because its a hassle for them but they can. So if you know the owner well, he can hook you up.
Don't smoke but get coupons? Talk to the owner or an employee and see if he'll do a trade. I would just bring in like $200 worth of coupons I get from Marlboro, camel etc to my boss and he'll give me the cash. He had some very trusted customers who he'll sell stuff like milk or chips or something as a trade. So if a customer brings in $50 worth of cigerrette coupons, he'll just sell them $25 worth of groceries in exchange.
Teachers Assistant
We can make your life in college heaven. Seriously. We can give you hints about what topics will be covered in exams, which teachers are better (in terms of teaching while still being relaxed and fun). Which are better blow-off classes or easy A's. Which assignments to get etc.
Heck we even have old notes that never got used to make into papers that we can re-use without plagiarizing. BTW, NEVER plagiarize... professors will know instantly since there are databases they check.
So, what're your professional secrets?
Comcast
You can call them once a few months and say that you're having a hard time financially etc and that you're looking for some help or you will be forced to shut down (don't say you will switch to AT&T or other competition for better rates. We don't give a crap about it anymore). Be nice. Simple things such as asking "Hey man, hows your day going? Hope not a lot of d***s bothering you today" will make them instantly like you and wanna make them help you. They have to deal with sooo many A-holes that just a little bit of politeness goes a long way.
You can ask for some discount which they will gladly give you (usually like $15 per month) if you're nice and express your financial hardship. You can also ask for free premium services. They usually have HBO or starz or something on a promotion for free or dirt cheap that they will make it free anyways for you. It'll be usually for 6 months. They can even put you into the system as a "new" customer even if you're been with them for years and you will get the new customer prices which are like 50% cheaper. But for this you need to know the person rather well so talk to the comcast agents that come to home.
Starbucks and similar coffee chains
About 1/4th of their customers ask for special milk (like soy and crap). Most of the employees might just be feeling lazy and give you whatever is close by anyways (2% regular or whole milk).
Also, the managers make mistake in orders all the time and order the wrong milk or something in larger quantity. So if they ordered whole milk and its about to go bad, the employees will just use that whole milk regardless of what you order.
Most coffee shop employees HATE hipsters. They go out of their way to make the order wrong
convenience store
The independent owned store owners usually don't accept many coupons because its a hassle for them but they can. So if you know the owner well, he can hook you up.
Don't smoke but get coupons? Talk to the owner or an employee and see if he'll do a trade. I would just bring in like $200 worth of coupons I get from Marlboro, camel etc to my boss and he'll give me the cash. He had some very trusted customers who he'll sell stuff like milk or chips or something as a trade. So if a customer brings in $50 worth of cigerrette coupons, he'll just sell them $25 worth of groceries in exchange.
Teachers Assistant
We can make your life in college heaven. Seriously. We can give you hints about what topics will be covered in exams, which teachers are better (in terms of teaching while still being relaxed and fun). Which are better blow-off classes or easy A's. Which assignments to get etc.
Heck we even have old notes that never got used to make into papers that we can re-use without plagiarizing. BTW, NEVER plagiarize... professors will know instantly since there are databases they check.
So, what're your professional secrets?
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Replies
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Banking.
When I was a teller, my pet peeve was when people would send in a check without a deposit slip or any indication as to what they wanted done with it. And then the customer would get irritated when we had to go back and ask if they wanted it cashed, deposited, etc.
Fill out a form, show a proper form of ID and you can even let us know how you'd like your cash back (certain denominations, etc). And if you don't know how to fill out the form, please, step up to the counter and we'd be glad to help you. We're not mind readers, and hey...just because I ask to see a form of ID isn't to harass you, it's to PROTECT you and your accounts with us. Be glad I care.
I currently underwrite commercial loans, so my focus has changed, but I remember those days as a teller as though they were yesterday.0 -
Restaurant Server - I learned after many years in college serving people to ALWAYS be nice to your server no matter what - I saw what went on in the kitchen0
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School Admissions Office- watch what you put online. We can easily look you up and find things you've posted.0
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IT professionals
Most don't know jack. Seriously. I used to charge $400 per hour with 4 hours minimum and I would often times just google things when I get to the job0 -
More IT
Porn + Work computer = NO It's especially bad when you play it for a whole meeting of executives. They tend to look down on that. (Yep, it happened at a previous job and the guy was walked out immediately).
We will also find and delete your music/movie collections.0 -
IT professionals
Most don't know jack. Seriously. I used to charge $400 per hour with 4 hours minimum and I would often times just google things when I get to the job
Hey I am an IT Professional.. but yes this is true the thinking is if you can pass a certification test, somehow your all knowledgeable and get jobs.. So some IT people have jobs that they have no idea how to do..
IT Tips
- What is on your work computer, isn't yours!!! Don't Download Torrents, update your resume, search for inappropriate things, put your personal credit card numbers on it, Send personal emails/IMS.. IT people can read all of this stuff in most larger businesses and in most companies (even small ones) if you are on the internet, the IT person can go on your computer and look at your files without you even knowing it.. So ya.. Don't be stupid.. AND THE INTERNET IS NEVER DOWN!
Customer Service Tips
-I worked Retail customer service for a long time when in school.. be polite, do your best to put stuff back in the box if returning, you are not entitled to anything if you are without a receipt or its been a certain time period since you bought it. Nothing pissed me off more than someone bringing something in to return in a plastic bag, with no receipt, telling me they want cash.. plus they would just toss it at the counter.. not hand it, not slide it, toss it.. If you do this and the person says no to returning, or something else.. and you ask for a manager, the first thing I used to say is "This guy is a a**hole" to the manager.. and they would normally back you... Be nice people!
Also from the first post about Comcast, you can do this with Time Warner cable, or DirecTV (other companies as well), just call them, get a retention person (cancellations department) and say you are thinking of cancelling cause its expensive, they will give you a discount if your nice, polite, and understanding.. if not.. wait a few days and call back.0 -
it doesn;t mater where you are shopping or what you are purchasing, NEVER pay full price. I always negotiate a lower cost or get a free be. even at the grocery store.0
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I hate missing a payment and with direct bill pay at my bank I hardly ever miss a payment anymore. Once in a while I buy something online and mix up a credit card that leads to a missed payment. You can call any credit card company and they will take the late fee off like it never happened if you haven’t been late in the last 2 years. They key is you have to call and ask them to take it off.0
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it doesn;t mater where you are shopping or what you are purchasing, NEVER pay full price. I always negotiate a lower cost or get a free be. even at the grocery store.
I think I was in line behind you before
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i worked as a cashier for a couple years in high school.
at Harris Teeter, when they say "security check aisles A - F" it's total bull****. they don't check security, they just say it to deter theft.
when you self check out, you can input the codes for cheaper veggies and fruits. for example if i get apples which are 1.29 a lb i'll input the on sale code for apples at .99 a lb and save some money.
also, if you're on your goddamn bluetooth and can't spare five minutes to check out, i will definitely accidentally ring up something twice, or put in the wrong code to charge you more to waste your time having to come back (if they even notice).0 -
When dining out and wishing the menu had healthier options, engage your server as your ally. Admit that you don't know how it would be rung up, but what you'd really love is for *this* chicken to be added to *that* salad, with *these* toppings, etc. It gives the server a chance to be creative, gives the kitchen something new and interesting to build, and gives you exactly what you want without you coming across like a picky brat.
Example: At Buffalo Wild Wings, I now get a blackened chicken salad spun up with Carribean Jerk sauce with bleu cheese on the side. It's like their Jerk Chicken sandwich, but without the bun, and with extra veggies. At Smashburger, they'll give me uncooked "veggie frites" - that is, they don't cook them at all, and instead give me a side of fresh carrot sticks and green beans to munch on in place of regular fries.
You might get a few confused looks at first, but if you're a regular somewhere, soon they'll learn your "specialties" and it'll be easy to re-order them.
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I'm a funeral director.....you don't want to know....
But seriously...most of us really do want to help you out and understand you are going through an awful time, so if there is something special or personalized that you would like with a loved oe's services...just ask us!! We will go out of our way to make it happen if it is at all possible. But PLEASE....don't bring food and drinks into the funeral home.0 -
i worked as a cashier for a couple years in high school.
at Harris Teeter, when they say "security check aisles A - F" it's total bull****. they don't check security, they just say it to deter theft.
when you self check out, you can input the codes for cheaper veggies and fruits. for example if i get apples which are 1.29 a lb i'll input the on sale code for apples at .99 a lb and save some money.
also, if you're on your goddamn bluetooth and can't spare five minutes to check out, i will definitely accidentally ring up something twice, or put in the wrong code to charge you more to waste your time having to come back (if they even notice).
so you steal when you self check and you steal from customers. phhh0 -
HDMI cables.
My company is one of the largest electronic connection companies in the world. We manufacture many connections in everything you use. That USB connection from your I-phone to the computer, yep, we invented that.
These words that are used all the time - USB, HDMI....etc are standards. They are not companies. Anyone can make an HDMI cable as long as it meets the interface and testing standards. That said, the standards for an HDMI cable are very high. If you are making one, you have to show that you pass all of the tests and meet the interface requirements to use the term HDMI. You will see some companies try and upsell HDMI cables with extra gold plating and high insulation wiring for less EM interference. BS. While you can get better performance from those, it won't matter to Joe Blow and his wife Jane. No one can tell the difference between a $5 HDMI cable and a $150 HDMI cable. The difference in the visual performance of the signal is not detectable by the human eye. If anyone tells you differently, they are lying.
Buy the $5 HDMI cable.0 -
so you steal when you self check and you steal from customers. phhh
And obviously missed the posts here when some of us said people can find everything you've posted on the internet!0 -
Credit card companies.
ALWAYS ask for the late fee to be waived. Use the word "waived." And be nice about it. Just call in and say, "Hi, can you please waive the interest charge on my account?"
Also, after you get the "annual fee" a lot of credit cards charge, call and ask that to be waived as well.
ANOTHER BIG ONE (even though you are flat out lying here) is if there is a very large charge on your credit card that you don't want to pay for right when the bill comes in, call and "dispute" the charge. Say you are not aware of this purchase and you want them to investigate it. They will take about 4-6 weeks to investigate the charge on the card during which time you are NOT LIABLE to pay it. Then they'll come back and say, "oh, it was a purchase from Best Buy two blocks from where you live, are you sure you didn't buy this?" And you say, "Oh! I just didn't recognize the vendor, oops!" and then pay it. You weren't charged interest on it during that time and you got an extra month to save the money to pay it. I worked for a sole proprieter that tended to get these things a lot so I had to call in for him.0 -
Bump I love this.
Administrative assistant: Always be nice to this person! They know EVERYTHING and will most likely be there long after you are gone.0 -
Buying glasses? The package deals for $100 include a pre-made and coated lens, that has anti-glare, anti-scratch, but it is inferior to the lenses that go into brand name frames. Antiscratch does NOT mean they'll bounce back in perfect condition after you 1. Drop them on gravel, 2. Use a wool sweater to clean them, 3. let your dog or child bite them. 4. They fly out of your chest pocket and bounce against your house while you're on a trampoline. Antiscratch means that if you moisten the lenses and clean them with a cotton or microfibre cloth, they won't show wear and tear as nearly as quickly as a non coated plastic lens.
Glass doesn't scratch nearly as easily as a coated plastic lens, but it shatters. Don't drop them, or ask for them in a pair of safety glasses, fool. Also if you spend time around bb guns, get the dang plastic. A teenage boy walked in with damaged glasses but a perfectly healthy eye after a stray bb hit his plastic lens. Glass would have shattered, ruined his eye and cut him all over his face. Speaking of eye injuries, if it ever happens, your body will usually react by projectile vomiting. Take a bucket with you to the ER.
The non-package frames are generally marked up 300% or so. This covers materials, shipping, employee wages and a tidy profit. Be nice to the optometric assistant helping you and ask if they're willing to knock it down 10% or throw in a small extra. Don't demand it. And if you have a crazy high or complicated prescription, the one hour service will never apply to you as they custom make your lens at factory, due to it being a rare prescription, and then ship it. They are not a stocked lens. And the people who sell you the glasses don't have any sway in changing that, as the factory is an independent company, themselves.
WalMart or other glasses stores inside big box stores are considered package glasses quality. They may have brand name frames, but the lenses are generally inferior. Ask what brand lens they use, or if they're pre-coated. Nikon or Essilor are the higher end lens brands, with Nikon doing their own research and creating new lens technology, and other brands following suit. Some independent optometry offices have gotten their own brand of lens that are similar quality to Nikon and Essilor.
If anyone gets migraines/headaches while driving, it is worthwhile to get polarized prescription sunglasses to keep your eyes from fatiguing.0 -
Bump, and I have to think of something to contribute0
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i worked as a cashier for a couple years in high school.
at Harris Teeter, when they say "security check aisles A - F" it's total bull****. they don't check security, they just say it to deter theft.
when you self check out, you can input the codes for cheaper veggies and fruits. for example if i get apples which are 1.29 a lb i'll input the on sale code for apples at .99 a lb and save some money.
also, if you're on your goddamn bluetooth and can't spare five minutes to check out, i will definitely accidentally ring up something twice, or put in the wrong code to charge you more to waste your time having to come back (if they even notice).
so you steal when you self check and you steal from customers. phhh
was thinking the same thing!!0
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