Anyone else with OCD?

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  • azwen
    azwen Posts: 237 Member
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    I have OCD. I was diagnosed about 12 years ago. Thankfully, for me, Paxil works wonders, although with additional stress, I do have episodes of obsessing. Supposedly Paxil can contribute to weight gain, though, which may be part of the problem I have with losing weight and keeping it off. I'm down to a very small dose now.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I have obsessive thoughts. Whatever the worst possible thing I could think in any situation is, part of my brain will pipe up with it. It used to be pure torture, now since I realized it's OCD it's mostly just pure annoying. But it's also constant.

    OCD has been linked to eating disorders and I have an eating disorder (I've been anorexic in the past and I assume those tendencies never leave).

    I'm also a compulsive chatterbox when nervous. Now picture this, the worst thing you can possibly think in any situation is going through your head, and therefore you feel compelled to talk. Add in some ADHD to make sure there is very little filter between mouth and brain, and I always feel like I'm bordering on Tourette Syndrome. Yeah, I'm the life of any party. A nervous freaking wreck!

    I'm also absolutely petrified of thunderstorms.

    No one will diagnose me with anything because I have no insurance so there is no profit in it, but yeah, I'd say I have it.

    Oh well, that was my pity party for the day. I don't usually talk about it at all, it involves feelings of great shame and worthlessness, but even that is easier to cope with because I know what it is now. I used to just think I must be a really awful, evil person for thinking the things I think. But nope, there's just a crossed wire somewhere in my brain.
  • emyishardcore
    emyishardcore Posts: 352 Member
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    I was just mentioning this in a separate post, and it got me thinking ... with all the people on here, I can't be the only one.

    I have OCD. Not the "oh, I'm so OCD, I have to make sure all of my books are lined up by size" kind (not that there's anything wrong with that), but the actual, I've been diagnosed by a physician and have a daily, ongoing struggle with my brain kind of OCD. I was diagnosed 14 years ago, and have tried several meds to varying degrees of success. I currently do not use medications, as all the ones I've tried had a terrible side effect to benefit ratio for me.

    This makes using something like MFP very interesting. I log everything. Yesterday I took a sip of a milkshake and found a way to log it. I weigh everything for accuracy. I find that I think about what I am going to eat and my workouts far more than I did when I was obese and eating mindlessly just to eat. And I honestly believe that once I've reached my goal, I will always need to continue to do all of these things, even though I'll be logging maintenance, in order to stay on track. I can't imagine not doing this, it seems like it's become a part of the routine my brain requires in order for me to function.

    Obviously, there is a positive side to this, but at the same time it can be a lot to deal with. Compulsions and obsessive thoughts, checking behaviors, counting - all of these can be exhausting and can ultimately inhibit quality of life. I don't feel like that is happening to me with this, and I hope I'll be able to recognize if it does.

    So - any other obsessive-compulsives out there? Are we having fun? Want to count something with me???

    Oh I didn't even realize that as OCD. I need to log everything, I don't usually log it all into the counter on this website but I write it all down in a food journal and must take a picture of everything I eat. And I weight and measure everything.
  • DuhhMuffin
    DuhhMuffin Posts: 198
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    I don't have OCD, but I do have very bad social anxiety which hinders my progress at times
  • keith0373
    keith0373 Posts: 2,154 Member
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    I have to lift weights in sets of 5 or 10. It makes me nuts to fail one short. I have to go back and do the 1 . . .lol
  • foodcallsme
    foodcallsme Posts: 94
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    I check the stove to make sure it's off (over and over again).... I also obsess over faucets and I need to make sure they're turned off all of the way. (I think it's because I had a really bad flood once and I was traumatized by the water damage which occurred. In particular if it's raining outside I can't sleep. My flood was due to heavy rainfall.) I also check to make sure the front door is locked over and over again. The urge comes and goes but is more pronounced when I'm stressed or anxious about something. It has gotten better over the years but I sometimes still obsess over electronics...For example, I have to unplug them because I'm afraid of a fire. The only thing I don't unplug is the TV, our alarm clock, the microwave and my refrigerator, lol. Everything else gets unplugged if the urge strikes and I need to do it. This drives my husband crazy, lol.

    I also take the cellphone battery out of my phone every night. It's so weird but, I'm not sure why, hahaha. It's not enough to shut the phone off but, I have to also take the battery out, haha. I feel so silly at times, lol.

    This all started when I was a kid. It's very mild compared to other friends of mine who have to check things more often. I also once worked for a boss who had OCD. She would obsess over things like travel arrangements which I made. Needless to say, it was a really difficult relationship because we both fed each others OCD-like urges and fears.

    *Just to clarify: The flood occurred when I was in my twenties. It happened in three ground floor apartments within 2 years...and also in one second floor apartment. (Also at the time, I lived alone so it was really challenging.) I agree, my issues with water are laced with a mild form of PTSD. I'm just guessing as I've never been formally diagnosed with OCD or PTSD.

    I'm also bumping this thread up :)
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I check the stove to make sure it's off (over and over again).... I also obsess over faucets and I need to make sure they're turned off all of the way. (I think it's because I had a really bad flood once and I was traumatized by the water damage which occurred. In particular if it's raining outside I can't sleep. My flood was due to heavy rainfall.) I also check to make sure the front door is locked over and over again. The urge comes and goes but is more pronounced when I'm stressed or anxious about something. It has gotten better over the years but I sometimes still obsess over electronics...For example, I have to unplug them because I'm afraid of a fire. The only thing I don't unplug is the TV, our alarm clock, the microwave and my refrigerator, lol. Everything else gets unplugged if the urge strikes and I need to do it. This drives my husband crazy, lol.

    I also take the cellphone battery out of my phone every night. It's so weird but, I'm not sure why, hahaha. It's not enough to shut the phone off but, I have to also take the battery out, haha. I feel so silly at times, lol.

    This all started when I was a kid. It's very mild compared to other friends of mine who have to check things more often. I also once worked for a boss who had OCD. She would obsess over things like travel arrangements which I made. Needless to say, it was a really difficult relationship because we both fed each others OCD-like urges and fears.

    *Just to clarify: The flood occurred when I was in my twenties. It happened in three ground floor apartments within 2 years...and also in one second floor apartment. (Also at the time, I lived alone so it was really challenging.) I agree, my issues with water are laced with a mild form of PTSD. I'm just guessing as I've never been formally diagnosed with OCD or PTSD.

    I'm also bumping this thread up :)

    This is something that worries me. I mostly don't have the compulsion side of it. When I was younger I did try to control every situation I was in and to this day I hate being driven by anyone, I like to do the driving! But otherwise I'm not too bad off. But from what I understand a triggering event could change that, even late in life. I'm scared. :frown:
  • dream_in_colors
    dream_in_colors Posts: 12
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    "I have a constant thread of anxiety running through me because the people I live with (spouse and kid) are NOT neat freaks. They aren't slobs, but there's no keeping up with my mental needs for cleanliness and order, I guess!"

    ^this. I live with my boyfriend, and it's the same. I know there's no way he'll ever be able to see things like I do, but I go nuts trying to 'fix' all the things around the apartment.
  • explodingalice
    explodingalice Posts: 158 Member
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    "I have a constant thread of anxiety running through me because the people I live with (spouse and kid) are NOT neat freaks. They aren't slobs, but there's no keeping up with my mental needs for cleanliness and order, I guess!"

    ^this. I live with my boyfriend, and it's the same. I know there's no way he'll ever be able to see things like I do, but I go nuts trying to 'fix' all the things around the apartment.

    Ha, I just kinda gave up years ago, thus my constant anxiety. It bothers me tremendously, but it seemed easier to force myself to deal with the anxiety and discomfort rather than try to completely change them!
  • jenn_may
    jenn_may Posts: 154 Member
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    I really loved reading what all of you are going through. I have never been diagnosed with OCD. As an adult I started seeing a counselor for postpartum depression, but she never focused on the OCD issues. The depression is much better and some of my tendencies have gotten a little better as well. Alphabetizing is a big one for me, grouping things in threes, separating things by color, but what most affects me in my everyday life is that I have hoarding tendencies. I have a very hard time getting rid of paper and magazines thinking I will need to read them someday. Also I always say I am going to get rid of some of my daughter's toys but only 3 or 4 will go because they are tied to certain people or memories. I have stopped going to counseling, but am considering trying to find a new counselor who will focus on this issue.
  • explodingalice
    explodingalice Posts: 158 Member
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    I really loved reading what all of you are going through. I have never been diagnosed with OCD. As an adult I started seeing a counselor for postpartum depression, but she never focused on the OCD issues. The depression is much better and some of my tendencies have gotten a little better as well. Alphabetizing is a big one for me, grouping things in threes, separating things by color, but what most affects me in my everyday life is that I have hoarding tendencies. I have a very hard time getting rid of paper and magazines thinking I will need to read them someday. Also I always say I am going to get rid of some of my daughter's toys but only 3 or 4 will go because they are tied to certain people or memories. I have stopped going to counseling, but am considering trying to find a new counselor who will focus on this issue.

    I hope you are able to get some help for that, I know it can be a tough one!
  • keith0373
    keith0373 Posts: 2,154 Member
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    And it is CDO. It HAS to be in alphabetical order!
  • ashleighlive
    ashleighlive Posts: 43 Member
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    Sadly my psychologist said that my OCD, perfectionism & type 6 personality makes me a prime candidate for an ED. :sad:

    I really hope that turns out not to be true, for you or any of us. It's tough to deal with, so I'm glad none of us are alone in this!

    Sadly it is I have also been battling with an ED for 6 odd years :ohwell:

    But 2013 is my year, and I have made a very excellent MFP friend from this forum so am thankful I joined in.
    I love the support from the community that is on MFP it's amazing.
    And that you can be so brutally honest about your situation without fear of judgement as it's private, anonymous and you are among people with the same issues.

    I :love: MFP!

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