Feeling very negative...beware

yo yo dieting is very common, thats for sure. there are enough companies out there getting rich to prove it.

Have you asked yourself why you give up? why you are only sucessfull for a little while.

I did some really heavy thinking recently, and discovered that i, in the past have sabatoged myself cause i was afraid of what would happen if i succeeded. Sounds crazy doesn't it. But think about it.

Most of us that have a weight problem, have had it all our lives. It is all we know...what the heck would we do without it? Some of us have used weight to disguise, or cover up a problem, insecurities, or whatever else. It is like wearing a mask...being something that is expected of us, it's easier than becoming what we want to be. When we actually loose the weight, then what. We have no more mask. Different things may be expected of us. Suddenly we are uncovered, and shown for who we really are. Im still trying to figure out who and what i really am.

I have decided that this time, i want to know "my better half". I have no idea what my life will be like when i loose all the weight i wish to loose, but i want to find out. I have decided that it cannot be as scary as the thought that i have given control of my life to food, and my weight. I have let my fat dictate everything. I have a heart, i have a brain, i have a soul, and im gonna prove it.

Im not saying this is your difficulty, but ask yourself, why do you want to stay the way you are? Is it possible that somewhere in you is the need to be this way? Is that why you haven't been able to win the fight...yet?

I read somewhere....you can't have a change without having a change within.

hope this helps

saralind21

I know what you mean. I have been there, done that. Yes, it is frustrating, but, you can do it. A lifestyle change doesn't happen over night. You need to make little changes everyday. I find myself in front of my computer on this site when I have free time. It really helps me to take my mind off of food. I also have a disgusting picture of myself hanging on the fridge and the pantry door, and I have inspirational quotes posted. It really helps me. Do you have a friend near by that needs to make a lifestyle change too. You guys can call each other daily and give eat other the pep talk that may be needed.
We are all here for you too. Don't give up. You can do this. It will take time, but you will succeed. Look for the post a little something that helps me. I will pull it back to the top. Read the quotes. Maybe it will help you out.
Good luck to you, and remember-
YOU CAN DO THIS:happy: :happy: :flowerforyou: :happy: :happy: :flowerforyou: :happy:

Saralind,

What you are experiencing sounds similar to what I went through this past weekend. I got on the scale and realized I had gained a bit of weight since the previous week -- only a few pounds, but enough to really discourage me. I felt totally disgusted with myself; I almost let it ruin my plans for the weekend because I just wanted to hide. I tend to do this with lots of things in my life; one thing goes wrong and then suddenly it all starts snowballing and I'm a total failure, I can't do anything right, etc. Logically, I know none of this is true, but emotions can be like a wave; they slam into you, overwhelm you, and then you're struggling to get your head back above water. The energy expended in this struggle against yourself can make you feel even more hopeless and can feed the overall level of negativity.

The only thing I have found to help in this situation is to go somewhere where I am completely alone, close my eyes, and focus hard on what I know to be true. For example, I know I am a good person, I have made valuable contributions to other people's lives, I am going to continue to do that, *despite* temporary setbacks. My mistakes are not the sum of who I am. I try to block out all external sources of validation. For a few minutes I make my best effort to not think about what other people are thinking or how they will think of me. It's really hard, because my brain keeps defaulting to the old negative patterns of thinking. I've found that the more I've done this, the easier it's gotten -- that right thinking is a learned habit as much as wrong thinking is.

You don't have to let these emotions destroy what could be a great vacation for YOU (keyword, for "you" -- not for other people and what they think of you). Other people can't know your struggles or what's in your heart, so you need to feel good about your achievements so far. Gaining the weight back does *not* negate the self-discipline you exhibited or in anyway deplete those internal resources. You've still got it, and you've proven that you have it! Nothing can take that away from you.

That is great. Glad to hear you are back on track. It is really a day by day change. We have our ups and we have our downs. As long as we get back on our feet, it will be OK. Keep it up.