fit people meeting a ffp would you want to know?

george29223
george29223 Posts: 556 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
if you were just begining to get into a relationship would you want to know if the person was a ffp?(former fat person)
think about it the odds are stacked against overweight people who lose weight that they will gain it back within 2 years
and theres nothing wrong with being heavy but the athletic all there life people tend to be attracted to other fit people should you tell them you just recenty lost weight? yall understand where iam comming from?
«1

Replies

  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    What?
  • jessikamellott
    jessikamellott Posts: 3
    I personally believe in being honast. If the person I'm in a relationship with decides not to be with me because I am/was overweight then they aren't worth it in my opinion. There are millions of people out there, I'd eventually find someone who cares about me the way I am.
  • patinaragazza
    patinaragazza Posts: 37 Member
    Don't you think as your relationship progresses it will be part of a normal "get to know you" conversation. I personally don't think you should mention it until it comes up organically and it will sooner than later...best of luck and its nice having an athletic partner...more things to do in common.
  • weird_me2
    weird_me2 Posts: 716 Member
    Not coming from a fit all their life person, but I think you shouldn't try to hide it, but you don't have to profess it, either. Your lifestyle now and going forward should matter more, and being with a fit, active person can probably only help your chances for succes. Now, if the person in question doesn't like fat people and has disdain for them, yeah, they'll probably be upset you didn't tell them, but I would hope that you wouldn't want to continue a relationship like that anyway, as I'm sure they'll show their true colors soon enough. As you get to know one another and share your life stories, I would hope that you would share the "former fatty" bit about yourself because it is part of who you are and where you came from because that's a pretty big secret to keep.
  • megdet
    megdet Posts: 18 Member
    I honestly don't think it should matter. If you like the person, hopefully you like them for who they are, not what they look like.

    But I can see nothing but positive motivation and support for a FFP (if that's even the correct/polite term) that is dating a life-long fit person. Especially to keep them more active and likely to stay fit, and again, being fit is a lifestyle change - not a temporary change. SO hopefully the FFP will be able to maintain their new fit lifestyle...especially dating a person that has always been fit & active.
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
    Both parties should be sharing key information about their past before making a commitment so yes, but not specifically because they might get fat again .... who says slim people have been athletic all their lives? Plenty have been sedentary most or all of their lives. Do you have prejudices against slim people? And who says overweight people can't be athletic?
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
    What if you're a formally fit post-op transgender who was fat for a while and is working on getting fit again and was paleo but is now vegan but still eats fish? What part should you tell them first?
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    What if you're a formally fit post-op transgender who was fat for a while and is working on getting fit again and was paleo but is now vegan but still eats fish? What part should you tell them first?
    I think that's a much more relevant question. Solid post.
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
    Just trying to keep *kitten* on track.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I think athletic people are drawn to other athletic people because they have things in common. I've never given a thought to whether people recently lost weight when meeting them, whether it was a romantic relationship or not. I would imagine it would come up at some point before the relationship became serious if the loss was within the past 2 years. And if it was in the distant past, it's likely not an issue anymore.
  • R0asted
    R0asted Posts: 83 Member
    With facebook as popular as it is, it's kind of hard to hide it. All it takes is a glance at past photos and if there is only face shots than it's pretty obvious.
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    I :heart: fat guys.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    if they like you, they like you and wouldn't care what you used to be, no?
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    What if you're a formally fit post-op transgender who was fat for a while and is working on getting fit again and was paleo but is now vegan but still eats fish? What part should you tell them first?
    I think that's a much more relevant question. Solid post.

    Ah! Thanks for clearing that up.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Your posts today have been....unique.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    What if you're a formally fit post-op transgender who was fat for a while and is working on getting fit again and was paleo but is now vegan but still eats fish? What part should you tell them first?

    That paleo thing would be a no go.
  • george29223
    george29223 Posts: 556 Member
    just like my underwear collection is
    Your posts today have been....unique.
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
    What if you're a formally fit post-op transgender who was fat for a while and is working on getting fit again and was paleo but is now vegan but still eats fish? What part should you tell them first?
    ^^^^^^
    This....:drinker:
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    Well I don't think it is something you should lie about (that is never a good start to a relationship). I think hiding it (ie taking down pictures at home, other's homes, facebook) would be sketchy, too. I guess it isn't dishonest to just, never bring it up, but it'll be discovered eventually. I think if you are a ffp you should take pride in your accomplishments, always be diligent about your food and exercise so you don't "fall back", and trust your partner to love you anyway (if they don't, well they probably weren't right for you anyway).
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    It wouldn't matter to me. No need to volunteer the info right away unless it seems appropriate. And it seems like it should come up at some point. If it seemed like you were hiding it, that could be awkward later.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    What if you're a formally fit post-op transgender who was fat for a while and is working on getting fit again and was paleo but is now vegan but still eats fish? What part should you tell them first?

    I say just dump it on them all at once..just like that...first date too that way you get it all out in the open...
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    What?

    This

    I was fat. I am not fat. I will never be fat again. Does my boyfriend give two ****s if I used to be fat? No.

    So.... what?
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
    With facebook as popular as it is, it's kind of hard to hide it. All it takes is a glance at past photos and if there is only face shots than it's pretty obvious.

    Bless, you are the age where you think everyone has a social networking account.
  • PeaceCorpsKat
    PeaceCorpsKat Posts: 335 Member
    Do you seriously want to be with someone who would not like you if you were a different weight? If you are shy about telling them it's a bad sign. Be who you are at every moment!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    With facebook as popular as it is, it's kind of hard to hide it. All it takes is a glance at past photos and if there is only face shots than it's pretty obvious.

    If I only saw face shots I would never think that's because someone is trying to hide their weight. It's just not something I think about (and I wouldn't care). And I've always been fit.
  • Project_Jodie
    Project_Jodie Posts: 171
    I don't think it should be something to hide it should be something to be proud of and I'm sure if you were with the right person they would be dam proud of you.

    Plus I also think if you have made that transformation you have made some pretty massive changes to your lifestyle and probably enjoy things that your fit partner also enjoys. I think if you have met a fit and healthy partner you are less likely to fall off the wagon than if you didn't because you would be motivating each other to maintain your healthy body.

    If they did have a problem with it - then their not the kind of person you would want to be with anyway
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    cross that bridge when you get to it
  • shanaya37
    shanaya37 Posts: 49 Member
    cross that bridge when you get to it

    Perfect answer.
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
    I think it would come out when discussing things. I don't think it's first date "hey I used to weight x amount more and I wanted you to know because I haven't kept the weight off for two plus years so I could get fat and lazy again."

    Sounds like you're way over thinking this :-)
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
    I think it would eventually come up conversationally, like others have said it would be part of the "getting to know me" stage. And, in my opinion, what does it matter if I wasn't fit in the past? The point is I took control of my body, and am healthy now. If whoever I am seeing can't appreciate that than I have no problem saying See ya!

Categories