Opinion about relationships

AngelJLV83
AngelJLV83 Posts: 59 Member
in Chit-Chat
OPINION: I know both options are not ideal but: Which is worse:

a) Someone who is "passive aggressive" and will go into ignore mode and cut off ALL communication until they feel like resuming the argument
OR
b) someone that yells and is loud during an argument, but will always respond, even if it is brutally honest and impulsive
«1

Replies

  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    I choose A. At least the lines of communication are open. With B you have no idea what the problem is and if it will ever be resolved.
    Also I happen to be more B than A, but I'm working on getting to C, rational discussion :ohwell:
  • El_guapo22
    El_guapo22 Posts: 902 Member
    I say A
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    "A" is difficult to deal with, but I understand it - some people hate confrontation and literally shut down.

    Sometimes a cooling off is a good thing before words become so hurtful that they can't be taken back. If it gets so heated that there is name calling and yelling, it's best to resume the discussion when things are less volatile. So "B" isn't always good, either.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    Ha ha, so I would choose "A" as worse, because you ssaid 'passive-aggressive' - which is lots different than hating confrontation.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    A. I like A. A works well within my happy marriage. We often joke about it because we've been together so long that we can decipher A without needing to resort to B very often.
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
    A is worse for me.
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    My ex was A and I was B and I would have DEFINITELY preferred for him to be a B too!! Even if you're yelling, at least the issue is out i the open! THEN you can wok to fix it. If you don't know whats wrong, or the person REFUSES to discuss it, nothing will ever get resolved!
  • nuemmedigg
    nuemmedigg Posts: 220 Member
    Difficult one. A is hard to live with, one feels like one is walking on eggshells, not knowing what's wong. B is easier in that area, one knows where one stands, but for kids, B is very destructive and can lead to feelings of inadequacy for the rest of their lives.
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,226 Member
    both, it will depend on the situation, issue and topic.
  • Skeebee
    Skeebee Posts: 740 Member
    definitely A. Because too much of A actually ends up to a VERY abrupt B at some point....but, a very harmful B...
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    I think A. I'd rather have a good old-fashioned shouting match than them just ignore me for ages. Also, I can deal with honest. If they were saying hurtful things that they didn't mean though on impulse, I might have to say that that B would be worse (even though A would do my head in!)
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
    I am an A... rather than rant and say something I can't take back I take a step back and seeth for a while, then think it over carefully before I say anything else after I've calmed down. My husband is neither and A or a B.... he's the more rational of the two of us and has learned to just go with the flow of my style of conflict resolution.
  • aross001
    aross001 Posts: 237
    A is worse, I think. In my family, free and sometimes loud communication is the way we work. We might have to apologize for an angry outburst, but at least we know exactly whats up with everyone's needs. No holding back. That's usually how I relate to a SO.

    My relationships have taken a milder form of this over the years with varying results. I guess it all depends on what keeps a couple happy - I would imagine long term relationships would see both paradigms to varying degrees.
  • CloverCreeper
    CloverCreeper Posts: 178 Member
    A is worse. I need to talk it out when i'm mad.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I am A
    He is B

    This causes some good old fashioned shenannigans.

    We're working on a middle.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    C. Alone time
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    the passive agressive.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    A is definitely worse.
  • DeeDel32
    DeeDel32 Posts: 542 Member
    B
  • Crisitunity
    Crisitunity Posts: 98 Member
    B is worse. If someone feels that they can scream at me over something that can be discussed calmly and rationally then I will absolutely stop talking to them until they can behave and treat me properly. It's a matter of having self respect.
  • just4nessa
    just4nessa Posts: 459 Member
    Definitely 'B' IMO since the 'A' person may need some time to think through what they are feeling and evaluate the situation before acting on or discussing it whereas 'B' is probably just being defensive and flying off the handle in order to dominate the situation.
  • bigeasy36
    bigeasy36 Posts: 18 Member
    I'm A at first but after a while I turn into B minus the screaming.
  • sarahmonsta
    sarahmonsta Posts: 185 Member
    Passive Aggressive. I JUST CANT STAND IT!!!!! lol. Like seriously I would rather be called names (cuz then I will be just done with them) then be ignored (which I end up being dragged into this awful dramatic problem). For myself though I hope to find someone who I can talk it all out with, that will be magical lol. =]
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I have trouble with both types so I would not do well with either. Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, manipulative and when they withhold affection and communication it's the worst. I have no patience for it. Confrontational-aggressive behavior is bullying and abusive and I do not tolerate it well either. Luckily, my husband and I are neither one of those extremes. He is from the super passive-aggressive family and I am from a super obnoxious in-your-face confrontational family. We have a little bit of those qualities that peek out from time to time, but we keep ourselves in check fairly well most of the time. :heart:
  • spiritcrusher
    spiritcrusher Posts: 326 Member
    I prefer not to be with either.

    Win/Win
  • 00sarah
    00sarah Posts: 621 Member
    B. You gotta argue before you can compromise
  • loolabell15
    loolabell15 Posts: 77
    OPINION: I know both options are not ideal but: Which is worse:

    a) Someone who is "passive aggressive" and will go into ignore mode and cut off ALL communication until they feel like resuming the argument
    OR
    b) someone that yells and is loud during an argument, but will always respond, even if it is brutally honest and impulsive

    A. Definitely.
  • MrsBikiniBound
    MrsBikiniBound Posts: 120
    Oh, A all the way. Passive aggressive behavior is immature and frustrating. It only results in true issues never being directly addressed and a huge wall between two people. To be clear, I don't think that yelling and being loud means you will be heard any better... however I would rather have someone who gets it out and puts it on the table to talk through than someone who will avoid the real problem. No patience for it.
  • emilykg12
    emilykg12 Posts: 119
    SUCK IT, RELATIONSHIPS.

    That is my opinion about relationships.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,042 Member
    Good thing I really don't deal with either.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Categories