Opinion about relationships

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2

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  • just4nessa
    just4nessa Posts: 459 Member
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    Definitely 'B' IMO since the 'A' person may need some time to think through what they are feeling and evaluate the situation before acting on or discussing it whereas 'B' is probably just being defensive and flying off the handle in order to dominate the situation.
  • bigeasy36
    bigeasy36 Posts: 18 Member
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    I'm A at first but after a while I turn into B minus the screaming.
  • sarahmonsta
    sarahmonsta Posts: 185 Member
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    Passive Aggressive. I JUST CANT STAND IT!!!!! lol. Like seriously I would rather be called names (cuz then I will be just done with them) then be ignored (which I end up being dragged into this awful dramatic problem). For myself though I hope to find someone who I can talk it all out with, that will be magical lol. =]
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I have trouble with both types so I would not do well with either. Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, manipulative and when they withhold affection and communication it's the worst. I have no patience for it. Confrontational-aggressive behavior is bullying and abusive and I do not tolerate it well either. Luckily, my husband and I are neither one of those extremes. He is from the super passive-aggressive family and I am from a super obnoxious in-your-face confrontational family. We have a little bit of those qualities that peek out from time to time, but we keep ourselves in check fairly well most of the time. :heart:
  • spiritcrusher
    spiritcrusher Posts: 326 Member
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    I prefer not to be with either.

    Win/Win
  • 00sarah
    00sarah Posts: 621 Member
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    B. You gotta argue before you can compromise
  • loolabell15
    loolabell15 Posts: 77
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    OPINION: I know both options are not ideal but: Which is worse:

    a) Someone who is "passive aggressive" and will go into ignore mode and cut off ALL communication until they feel like resuming the argument
    OR
    b) someone that yells and is loud during an argument, but will always respond, even if it is brutally honest and impulsive

    A. Definitely.
  • MrsBikiniBound
    MrsBikiniBound Posts: 120
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    Oh, A all the way. Passive aggressive behavior is immature and frustrating. It only results in true issues never being directly addressed and a huge wall between two people. To be clear, I don't think that yelling and being loud means you will be heard any better... however I would rather have someone who gets it out and puts it on the table to talk through than someone who will avoid the real problem. No patience for it.
  • emilykg12
    emilykg12 Posts: 119
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    SUCK IT, RELATIONSHIPS.

    That is my opinion about relationships.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,704 Member
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    Good thing I really don't deal with either.:laugh:

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  • Lineae
    Lineae Posts: 5
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    I am A...until I get fed up and then turn into B...lol ***** on a rampage for a little while!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    they're both equally bad.. emotionally instable is emotionally instable
  • changejen2013
    changejen2013 Posts: 87
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    Coming from a domestic violence counselor...both are forms of abuse. Abuse is never ok even if its psychological abuse like in the first example. (which by the way I'd prefer quiet over loud as loud effects children more if they are around than passive agressive behaviors)
  • alexitez
    alexitez Posts: 4 Member
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    A is worse! but i am probably saying that becuase i am a total B
  • paul7799
    paul7799 Posts: 98 Member
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    A or B make me want to turn into a Monk.

    A makes me feel like I am punished and (B) if someone crosses the line in how they treat me, meaning she tries to get me to do what she wants out of fear or feeling like she is disgusted with me, it never lasts too long. I'm kind of stubborn and useless to women anyway.
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    B is worse. If someone feels that they can scream at me over something that can be discussed calmly and rationally then I will absolutely stop talking to them until they can behave and treat me properly. It's a matter of having self respect.
    ^A BILLION times this!!! Even though 'C' is a better choice (Golden Rule: treat as you'd want to be treated), I think 'A' is the lesser of 2 evils.
    At least 'A' can go simmer and then talk with a cooler head.
    At least 'A' is a lot less likely to say something that can't be taken back (you can't unring the bell) and make a bad situation WAY worse.
    At least 'A' is less likely to cause 'civilian casualties' (kids, pets, visitors, etc.)
    At least 'A' is less likely to get the police called in.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    A is worse but I won't put up with either. We can talk and come to a compromise but I won't deal with the silent treatment, walking on eggshells, tantrums, tirades, or explosive anger. I would honestly rather be alone. I went through a really awful marriage of my own plus I later shared a house with my sister and her husband who have a loveless and angry marriage. My marriage was A and theirs is B, either way I know I can't live like that again. Staying in my room with my sister's toddler and turning up the tv to drown out his parents screaming obscenities at one another may have been worse for a child but it wasn't a picnic for me either.
    When I first started dating my fiance I told him I had already taken all the $h¡t off men that I'm gonna take in this lifetime. Sorry, all maxed out on bs. Lucky for me, he just happens to share my allergy to drama and is wonderful at communicating. And he doesn't have an angry bone in his body.
  • Antheajw
    Antheajw Posts: 10 Member
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    My whole family (including me) are B's. We scream and yell at each other then 30 mins later we are generally all good.

    My partner is an A, I find it really difficult to deal with it because I tend to feel like there is something he isn't telling me. We are working on getting to middle ground though!!!

    At least with a B you know nothing is being held back so it gets it all out so you can work on it from there!
  • NatashaShen
    NatashaShen Posts: 295 Member
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    My mom was a B. A very very bad one... so I grew up becoming an A. Don't worry, I'm working on it.... I do try to keep lines of communication open now. But I'm single at the moment :frown:
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    I prefer someone who is an A-type. That way...I can get some peace and quiet eventually.

    I'm a shut down type person. Yelling, for me, means I have reached my breaking point and control of myself, which is not a good feeling. I'd rather think things through than say hurtful words during a heated argument.

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