Not Nice NSV

Treadmillmom1st
Treadmillmom1st Posts: 579 Member
in Success Stories
I’ve lost 22lbs on my journey, only 3lbs away from my goal but I am happy.

MFP has taught me allot about nutrition and making alternative food choices.

Anyway, in the office I am unlucky enough to sit next to the tea/coffee station where everyone drops off goodies, cookies, cakes, crisps etc but I have thumbnails of Jillian Michaels 6 pack around my PC screen to keep me on track, lol.

One of our offices notorious yo-yo dieters was reaching for the biscuit tin and I jokingly said to her, ‘…step away…’, she turned smiled and spied my hot chocolate with a quizzical look.

‘It’s an Options Hot Chocolate’, I say ‘Only 39 calories a mug, it helps stave off my desire for real chocolate’.

She came right up into my face, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.

‘I guess its called maintenance,’ I replied.

‘You don’t have anything to worry about’ she says again, now my co-workers are looking over.

‘You know how much weight I’ve lost,’ I said, ‘I’m trying to maintain my weight and this helps’.

Shaking her head at me she says again, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.

I felt totally embarrassed like she was accusing me of being anal.

Surely it’s obvious, she’s yo-yo because she reaches her goal then tucks right back into the wrong things, I’m more or less at my goal and plan to stay right here.

The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.
«1

Replies

  • Stenobun
    Stenobun Posts: 166 Member

    The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

    Sound advice. Nobody likes it when other people make comments about what we eat. Did you really think that was going to end any other way, like with her saying, "Thank you for embarrassing me"?
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    Did you think people here were going to agree with you on this?

    You were wrong. Her eating habits are hers to worry about.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    I'm not sure how this is classified as an NSV. You proved to your co-worker(s) that you have no tact.
  • marywell
    marywell Posts: 26
    You probably embarrassed her as much as she embarrassed you. Lesson learned. On a happier note, I am glad you posted this because it really got me thinking that when I do get to my goal that I cannot just eat whatever I want. I am sure I already knew that, but hearing you talk about how this girl yo-yo diets really put it into perspective for me. thank you for that.
  • marywell
    marywell Posts: 26
    Reading these comments I think people are being a little hard on you. We don't know what kind of relationship you have with this girl. I know that I had coworkers that were my dieting buddies and I would have totally told them to step away from a donut or any other unhealthy food. I don't think what she said was horrible. Now she knows how the girl responded and I am sure she won't do it again. Heck, she may have even helped the girl ponder on the whole concept of "maintenance". Like none of you have ever joked around with a co-worker. cut her some slack!
  • DarkAngel262
    DarkAngel262 Posts: 118 Member
    Not to be rude OP, but I would have been mortified. I am overweight and I've had people say that to me and I just want to melt in to the floor and die. So she probably wasn't trying to be rude, she was probably trying to put the focus on you and away from her own embarrassment.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    Reading these comments I think people are being a little hard on you. We don't know what kind of relationship you have with this girl. I know that I had coworkers that were my dieting buddies and I would have totally told them to step away from a donut or any other unhealthy food. I don't think what she said was horrible. Now she knows how the girl responded and I am sure she won't do it again. Heck, she may have even helped the girl ponder on the whole concept of "maintenance". Like none of you have ever joked around with a co-worker. cut her some slack!
    You're assuming things that would make it okay. This girl clearly sounded as though she was caught off guard.

    I've had so many people tell me I'm "not allowed" to eat something WHILE I'm eating it, because they see that I've recently lost weight. They have no idea whether or not I have budgeted in into my calories for the day and it's none of their business. On christmas a ton of people noticed I had lost weight and told me multiple times I couldn't eat certain foods.

    It's great that she's proud she's maintaining, but she needs to keep it to herself and not force it on other people. It's extremely rude.
  • CarolinaMoon76
    CarolinaMoon76 Posts: 78
    Oh wow, that co-worker must have been very embarrassed. I would never make comments on what colleagues do and don't eat unless we have the kind of relationship where we "monitor" each other for support.
  • squinz
    squinz Posts: 136
    I think if someone said this to me (anyone, even a close friend) I would feel mortified and probably a little bit 'judged', if I'm honest. She probably knows she shouldn't be having it and isn't in the right head space to diet yet.
  • Treadmillmom1st
    Treadmillmom1st Posts: 579 Member
    Oh I see why you think I must be rude.

    No, no, she goes on and on to anyone who'll listen about her battle with wieght and updates everyone re her progress/disappointments at her slimming club so my comment wasn't tactless it was the usual banter.

    I told her a few months ago about MFP, which she'd heard of and about my journery and we had a proper conversation about fitness and nutrition.
  • FutureSkinnyMama03
    FutureSkinnyMama03 Posts: 250 Member
    This really does not sound like a NSV to be proud of. Low moment.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member

    The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

    Sound advice. Nobody likes it when other people make comments about what we eat. Did you really think that was going to end any other way, like with her saying, "Thank you for embarrassing me"?

    This ^^ Your comment was probably innocent and well intentioned, but try and put yourself in her shoes. You struggle with weight loss and here is the succeful dieter telling you to "step away" from the cookies. How would you feel?
  • akilahleemarie
    akilahleemarie Posts: 80 Member
    OP: lol everyone is bashing on you, lol promise im not going to. I know a few people that are exactly like that...if they tell everyonen about "im so happy i lost 5 pounds this month" and then complain the next week "ugh that cake i ate yesterday made me gain 2 pounds!" i don't think it was out of line for you to say that...it would be different if they didn't talk about their weight loss/gain all the time. i can picture exactly what happened lol.
  • clairegogogo
    clairegogogo Posts: 215
    .
  • pixie_mills
    pixie_mills Posts: 103 Member
    OP: I definitely don't think you were out of line - she bangs on about her weight - I see it as a helpful gesture and quite supporting actually, telling her about a healthier Option ('scuse the pun) that she might not know about. She didn't have to get all up in your face and make a big deal. A lot of good advice can be taken from successful dieters.
  • EstiloPanama
    EstiloPanama Posts: 245
    What she eats is her business...I'm pretty sure you embarrassed her too...

    You gave yourself sound advice in the end of your post...next time you will mind your own business. Her biscuit, her life.
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
    I have conversations about weight loss with my co-workers all the time, but it doesn't give them the right to be the Food Police.

    This is not an NSV. Being close to goal doesn't give you the right to "banter" with co-workers, no matter how many cookies they ingest. For all you know, she set aside some calories to enjoy a couple of cookies. I had a cupcake today because a co-worker brought it in for my birthday. As such, I'm removing 200 calories from dinner.

    Are you going to be a jerk to me now and call it an NSV?
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
    OP: I definitely don't think you were out of line - she bangs on about her weight - I see it as a helpful gesture and quite supporting actually, telling her about a healthier Option ('scuse the pun) that she might not know about. She didn't have to get all up in your face and make a big deal. A lot of good advice can be taken from successful dieters.

    Or they can mind their own business. When people lectured me about my weight, it embarrassed me and depressed me, which usually led to a binge. I also stopped going to parties and such because I was afraid people were going to judge me every time I ate something.
  • pixie_mills
    pixie_mills Posts: 103 Member

    Are you going to be a jerk to me now and call it an NSV?

    Whoa...talk about harsh...i can see it from both views but it doesn't have to be made personal...
  • RachyLovesRattys
    RachyLovesRattys Posts: 143 Member
    I understand what you meant by your comment, and I'm not going to bash you either. Nothing irritates me more than people who complain about not losing weight, and then you see them going in on a giant fast food meal or something.

    AND--you tried to give her a healthy alternative. I'm sure if she had asked, you would have shared, but I'm just ASSUMING.

    I always say, if you're going to eat what you want, then own it. Don't act like "oh woe is me...i'm so unhealthy." You can't have your cake and eat it too (haha no pun intended)

    I ALSO hate when people tell me "I have nothing to worry about" like umm..my LIFE? You know...not dying at 50? Sheesh.

    She sounds bitter and she's probably a bit jealous. People just need to learn that THEY control food, not the other way. And that you eat to live, not live to eat. There's healthy alternatives to cookies everywhere. Or even adjusted recipes to eat in moderation.

    If she really wanted to be healthy long term, she could. She just doesn't want to, but would rather play the victim than admitting it.
  • mdizzle99
    mdizzle99 Posts: 169 Member
    OP, as I read your post I did not get the same impression as most of the posters above me. It just sounded like the type of thing myself and my coworkers would joking say to each other. People I work with know I'm trying to eat healthy so they joke about it fairly often; if I refuse to eat something unhealthy and especially when I occasionally eat the treat.

    However, sounds like it didn't go well and it is certainly safer to not say anything about food/weight to people. Emotions are very closely connected to food.
  • pixie_mills
    pixie_mills Posts: 103 Member
    OP: I definitely don't think you were out of line - she bangs on about her weight - I see it as a helpful gesture and quite supporting actually, telling her about a healthier Option ('scuse the pun) that she might not know about. She didn't have to get all up in your face and make a big deal. A lot of good advice can be taken from successful dieters.

    Or they can mind their own business. When people lectured me about my weight, it embarrassed me and depressed me, which usually led to a binge. I also stopped going to parties and such because I was afraid people were going to judge me every time I ate something.

    but if the colleague is moaning about weight all the time it becomes their business. If she doesn't want people to comment/suggest/help/challenge (call it what you want) the workplace is not the place to be discussing said topic.
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
    Talking about other people's eating habits is like sex, you best get consent or someone might kick you in the junk.

    Who knows...maybe she was already upset because she was slipping? Maybe she forgot breakfast and couldn't afford to go out? Maybe you have a stressful work environment and she was already depressed and stressed out?

    Bottom line is, no one's eating effects your waistline but your own.
    Focus on that.
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
    OP: I definitely don't think you were out of line - she bangs on about her weight - I see it as a helpful gesture and quite supporting actually, telling her about a healthier Option ('scuse the pun) that she might not know about. She didn't have to get all up in your face and make a big deal. A lot of good advice can be taken from successful dieters.

    Or they can mind their own business. When people lectured me about my weight, it embarrassed me and depressed me, which usually led to a binge. I also stopped going to parties and such because I was afraid people were going to judge me every time I ate something.

    but if the colleague is moaning about weight all the time it becomes their business. If she doesn't want people to comment/suggest/help/challenge (call it what you want) the workplace is not the place to be discussing said topic.

    So because she's trying and has a slip up, that gives people the right to embarrass her?
  • MemphisKitten
    MemphisKitten Posts: 878 Member
    Yo-yo dieters don't understand the importance of maintenance. I know because I was a yo-yo dieter for YEARS and it took me forever to learn! Lol Great job on reaching your goals!!
  • successgal1
    successgal1 Posts: 996 Member
    whats an NSV?
  • peckish_pomegranate
    peckish_pomegranate Posts: 242 Member
    Yeah OP, it's really not okay to do that to another person if you're not dieting together and have talked about doing stuff like that, and it especially wasn't okay at work! People's bodies are their own business. Glad you're doing well with your goal, but that doesn't make you the weight loss police okay? I would have been really embarrassed if someone had done that to me at work. It's just not professional.
  • pixie_mills
    pixie_mills Posts: 103 Member


    So because she's trying and has a slip up, that gives people the right to embarrass her?

    Not intentionally - but from this context I took that she didn't set out to intentionally embarrass her colleague. look at the positives.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member

    The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

    Sound advice. Nobody likes it when other people make comments about what we eat. Did you really think that was going to end any other way, like with her saying, "Thank you for embarrassing me"?

    This^. That was waaaay rude of you. Do you know how much that probably crushed her? #luckyIdon'tworkwithyou
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member

    The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

    Sound advice. Nobody likes it when other people make comments about what we eat. Did you really think that was going to end any other way, like with her saying, "Thank you for embarrassing me"?

    This.

    P.S. I don't think there is anything wrong with "real chocolate" or biscuits or pizza or ice cream. I lost 40 lbs eating a lot of unhealthy crap, but balancing it with exercise.

Categories

Do you Love MyFitnessPal? Have you crushed a goal or improved your life through better nutrition using MyFitnessPal?
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!