Not Nice NSV

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2

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  • mdizzle99
    mdizzle99 Posts: 169 Member
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    OP, as I read your post I did not get the same impression as most of the posters above me. It just sounded like the type of thing myself and my coworkers would joking say to each other. People I work with know I'm trying to eat healthy so they joke about it fairly often; if I refuse to eat something unhealthy and especially when I occasionally eat the treat.

    However, sounds like it didn't go well and it is certainly safer to not say anything about food/weight to people. Emotions are very closely connected to food.
  • pixie_mills
    pixie_mills Posts: 103 Member
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    OP: I definitely don't think you were out of line - she bangs on about her weight - I see it as a helpful gesture and quite supporting actually, telling her about a healthier Option ('scuse the pun) that she might not know about. She didn't have to get all up in your face and make a big deal. A lot of good advice can be taken from successful dieters.

    Or they can mind their own business. When people lectured me about my weight, it embarrassed me and depressed me, which usually led to a binge. I also stopped going to parties and such because I was afraid people were going to judge me every time I ate something.

    but if the colleague is moaning about weight all the time it becomes their business. If she doesn't want people to comment/suggest/help/challenge (call it what you want) the workplace is not the place to be discussing said topic.
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
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    Talking about other people's eating habits is like sex, you best get consent or someone might kick you in the junk.

    Who knows...maybe she was already upset because she was slipping? Maybe she forgot breakfast and couldn't afford to go out? Maybe you have a stressful work environment and she was already depressed and stressed out?

    Bottom line is, no one's eating effects your waistline but your own.
    Focus on that.
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
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    OP: I definitely don't think you were out of line - she bangs on about her weight - I see it as a helpful gesture and quite supporting actually, telling her about a healthier Option ('scuse the pun) that she might not know about. She didn't have to get all up in your face and make a big deal. A lot of good advice can be taken from successful dieters.

    Or they can mind their own business. When people lectured me about my weight, it embarrassed me and depressed me, which usually led to a binge. I also stopped going to parties and such because I was afraid people were going to judge me every time I ate something.

    but if the colleague is moaning about weight all the time it becomes their business. If she doesn't want people to comment/suggest/help/challenge (call it what you want) the workplace is not the place to be discussing said topic.

    So because she's trying and has a slip up, that gives people the right to embarrass her?
  • MemphisKitten
    MemphisKitten Posts: 878 Member
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    Yo-yo dieters don't understand the importance of maintenance. I know because I was a yo-yo dieter for YEARS and it took me forever to learn! Lol Great job on reaching your goals!!
  • successgal1
    successgal1 Posts: 996 Member
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    whats an NSV?
  • peckish_pomegranate
    peckish_pomegranate Posts: 242 Member
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    Yeah OP, it's really not okay to do that to another person if you're not dieting together and have talked about doing stuff like that, and it especially wasn't okay at work! People's bodies are their own business. Glad you're doing well with your goal, but that doesn't make you the weight loss police okay? I would have been really embarrassed if someone had done that to me at work. It's just not professional.
  • pixie_mills
    pixie_mills Posts: 103 Member
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    So because she's trying and has a slip up, that gives people the right to embarrass her?

    Not intentionally - but from this context I took that she didn't set out to intentionally embarrass her colleague. look at the positives.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

    Sound advice. Nobody likes it when other people make comments about what we eat. Did you really think that was going to end any other way, like with her saying, "Thank you for embarrassing me"?

    This^. That was waaaay rude of you. Do you know how much that probably crushed her? #luckyIdon'tworkwithyou
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

    Sound advice. Nobody likes it when other people make comments about what we eat. Did you really think that was going to end any other way, like with her saying, "Thank you for embarrassing me"?

    This.

    P.S. I don't think there is anything wrong with "real chocolate" or biscuits or pizza or ice cream. I lost 40 lbs eating a lot of unhealthy crap, but balancing it with exercise.
  • angela9887
    angela9887 Posts: 26 Member
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    well until she if fully committed to making a change herself she will not accept your advice. you were more acting as a subconscious. good job! :-)
  • ladynica
    ladynica Posts: 329 Member
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    Whether she is always griping about her weight loss/gain all the time or not, truthfully, you made the first interaction with her by telling her to step away. She wasn't coming to your desk personally to get goodies so whether you were jokingly and with good intention saying it or not, you should've kept it to yourself.

    I think if she had come to you for advice about whether or not she should eat it, all bets would've been off and you would be in the right to tell her to step away. Since that didn't happen, don't offer unsolicited advice/opinions.
  • Findekano
    Findekano Posts: 116
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    I’ve lost 22lbs on my journey, only 3lbs away from my goal but I am happy.

    MFP has taught me allot about nutrition and making alternative food choices.

    Anyway, in the office I am unlucky enough to sit next to the tea/coffee station where everyone drops off goodies, cookies, cakes, crisps etc but I have thumbnails of Jillian Michaels 6 pack around my PC screen to keep me on track, lol.

    One of our offices notorious yo-yo dieters was reaching for the biscuit tin and I jokingly said to her, ‘…step away…’, she turned smiled and spied my hot chocolate with a quizzical look.

    ‘It’s an Options Hot Chocolate’, I say ‘Only 39 calories a mug, it helps stave off my desire for real chocolate’.

    She came right up into my face, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.

    ‘I guess its called maintenance,’ I replied.

    ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’ she says again, now my co-workers are looking over.

    ‘You know how much weight I’ve lost,’ I said, ‘I’m trying to maintain my weight and this helps’.

    Shaking her head at me she says again, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.

    I felt totally embarrassed like she was accusing me of being anal.

    Surely it’s obvious, she’s yo-yo because she reaches her goal then tucks right back into the wrong things, I’m more or less at my goal and plan to stay right here.

    The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

    You didn't mean any harm. Personally, I wouldn't have been offended. Maybe she's more sensitive. But honestly, if it was said in a joking way, I wouldn't have seen anything wrong with it. I either would have responded with, "ARGH....you're right." or "STFU, I want a damn cookie." But I wouldn't have taken it personally.

    But, I also understand her frustration, because I'm guilty of the same. My bf is slim and muscular. So when he says something like, "Oh, I'll just have a salad. I've been eating too much junk," I want to punch him in the throat for being damn near perfect and still so strict with himself. It's partially embarrassment for my own lack of will-power, and partially frustration with NOT being perfectly fit - sort of like, "Well, if he thinks HE needs to watch what he eats, what must he think of ME?!"
  • BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY
    BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY Posts: 666 Member
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    One of our offices notorious yo-yo dieters was reaching for the biscuit tin and I jokingly said to her, ‘…step away…’
    OH SNAP!
    ‘It’s an Options Hot Chocolate’, I say ‘Only 39 calories a mug, it helps stave off my desire for real chocolate’.
    LOLZ
    She came right up into my face, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.
    OH SNAP!
    ‘I guess its called maintenance,’ I replied.
    OH SNAP!
    ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’ she says again, now my co-workers are looking over.
    OH SNAP!
    ‘You know how much weight I’ve lost,’ I said, ‘I’m trying to maintain my weight and this helps’.
    OH SNAP!
    Shaking her head at me she says again, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.
    OH SNAP!
    I felt totally embarrassed like she was accusing me of being anal.
    REPORTED!
    Surely it’s obvious, she’s yo-yo because she reaches her goal then tucks right back into the wrong things, I’m more or less at my goal and plan to stay right here.
    OH SNAP!
    The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.
    NO U SHOW THAT LOUSY YO YO DIETER WHOZ BOSS
  • Healthydiner65
    Healthydiner65 Posts: 1,579 Member
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    It sounded like a light hearted joke to me and if the Yo Yo (and I use that term lightly) was offended ,"Oh Well So Sad Too Bad)!!!! Write her off as someone you don't want to socialize with!!!
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    I understand what you meant by your comment, and I'm not going to bash you either. Nothing irritates me more than people who complain about not losing weight, and then you see them going in on a giant fast food meal or something.....

    .....

    I woudl just like to respond to this... When I was overweight, I was frustrated that I couldn't lose weight. I exercised like crazy but I could lose any weight. Yes, it was becuase I didn't want to restrict my eating. I didn't want to restrict my eating because historically, when I do, I go all ED.

    MFP saved me from unhealthy eating habits by helping me to be accountable for both not eating too much, and not eating too litttle.

    People have to come to a healthy lifestyle the same way they come to religion: of their own free will, on their own accord, on their own terms. Otherwise, they won't make it. I still think OP's comment was out of line. But I don't consider myself bashing OP just because I think her words were wrong. Everyone makes mistakes.
  • BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY
    BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY Posts: 666 Member
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    No, no, she goes on and on to anyone who'll listen about her battle with wieght and updates everyone re her progress/disappointments at her slimming club so my comment wasn't tactless it was the usual banter.
    U SHOWED HER WAY 2 GO
    I told her a few months ago about MFP, which she'd heard of and about my journery and we had a proper conversation about fitness and nutrition.
    DONT FORGET TO TELL HER ABOUT THE JILLIAN MICHAELS FLUSH
  • SE_Adams
    SE_Adams Posts: 6
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    Judging by her response she was offended. usually a bad idea to say things about what people are eating, pretty touchy subject for most. I know alot of low confidence people who pick on themselves and make everyone aware that they are trying to lose weight. All of them would have been embarrassed by someone calling them out in public about what they were eating.
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
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    Not sure if this can be classified as an NSV moment?

    But that was something that didn't have the tact it could have. A more private conversation would have been better but the delivery in the same was also not very tactful either. A better way would to privately come up to her and show understanding that she has been dieting over time and you just wanted to give an opinion on eating a spare cookie/tart/anything as being detrimental to her weight loss but also apologizing in advance after stating your opinion if she is not currently on a weight loss plan so that she doesn't feel attacked but instead being more informed whether she asked for it or not.

    Public approaches always bring on the defensive natures of others.
  • SweetSailor
    SweetSailor Posts: 81 Member
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    Oh I see why you think I must be rude.

    No, no, she goes on and on to anyone who'll listen about her battle with wieght and updates everyone re her progress/disappointments at her slimming club so my comment wasn't tactless it was the usual banter.

    I told her a few months ago about MFP, which she'd heard of and about my journery and we had a proper conversation about fitness and nutrition.

    You should follow her around and tell her what to eat all of the time.

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