I'm so depressed.
angleckohr
Posts: 2
I look in the mirror every day and see this blob of a person. I just dont know what to do. By the time I get home at night and the kids go to bed all I want to do is sleep. I have no motivation or energy to get on my elliptical. I am at the end of my rope I feel. I watch everything that I put in my mouth but I lose my motivation and just give up. Help
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If you were at the end of your rope you would get on that machine no matter what.0
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do you have time to get on the machine in the morning before the kids wake up?0
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You have already taken the first step and you don't even know it. You've identified the issue and you've reacted to it.
Now, two things are going to help you.
One, you have to just get on the elliptical. Just do it. You can find 15 minutes to do it. You have to. Once you do, it'll be easier the next time. You may even look forward to doing it. Kick your metabolism in the *kitten*, tell it to wake up!
Two, you need to prep your food a little bit. This starts at the grocery store. Label reading, substitutes, alternative foods ie: turkey sausage vs pork sausage. Use the site for 2 weeks to honestly assess your calorie intake. It helps identify problem foods and problem times of the day. Then use the site to coordinate meals, eliminate the REALLY bad, and work in healthy items.
It's not going to happen overnight. It will take time, but the right choices will get you there. No magic pills, and it's not always easy. If you want it bad enough, you can do it!0 -
do you have time to get on the machine in the morning before the kids wake up?
This^^^. And as someone else said, start with a small goal, maybe 10 or 15 minutes depending upon the last time you exercised. I don't know how old your kids are, but I assume they are young. Do they nap? Use that time for some exercise. Can you plant them in front of a video for a half an hour? Can you break out your stroller and go for a really brisk walk with them--maybe to a park where you and they can get some more exercise. I don't blame you for being exhausted at the end of the day; it is probably not the best time to plan to exercise.0 -
I know it can be hard, and even more so when you've kids to take care of.
kms1320 gives good advice, you also have to set yourself up for successes.
First time I got on my elliptical I only did three minutes, slowly I built up the stretch.
With eating, first I started tracking, then I started making small changes.
A week doing something small and you succeed and you start to think 'okay, what can I change next.'
Baby steps, and it doesn't really take all that long before you can run.0 -
When I started with my treadmill, I had the same things happen. I would get home at night feel too tired to do anything and just looking at that machine sitting there gave me anxiety. Sooo I would go get something to eat to make me feel better. What worked for me , what got me moving was this: Start slow , start small. Just because you have an epilitical doesnt mean you have to pop on the for an hour day and be wonder woman. I actually started with 5 mins, yes thats right 5 mins each time I got on mine. It didnt "frighten" me so much then. So after the first few nights of 5 mins, the next night I have my self the goal of 10 mins. in another week. I added another 5 mins. After you get into the habit, you can keep adding the minutes. Trust me before you know you wil be comfortable with it and when you are losing weight and feeling better about yourself. You will look forward to it when you get home.
I hope this helps. It worked for me , and I absolutely hate the thought of exercise.0 -
You have started by being here! Do it for you, and as others said, find a few minutes in the morning before the kids get up. You will so much better, mentally and physically.0
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lots of good advice here. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon0
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You can even work in a little exercise doing chores. Try doing lunges while vacuuming, do a squat every time you need to pick something up, do jumping jacks while waiting for the microwave, do leg lifts watching tv (if you ever get a chance to!) And during fun time with the kids do exercises with them if they are old enough. See who can run back and forth across the yard the most times, Teach them to jump rope (amazing for the legs and butt), have jumping jack contests, go for a family walk after dinner, etc. Not only will you be working out and spending quality time with the kids (away from electronics) but you will be teaching them that being healthy is FUN, and maybe they won't struggle with weight when they get older!
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You are not alone! It's easy to get overwhelmed and in a funk.
If you are just starting out, perhaps it may be easier to break this down into smaller goals in making some lasting healthy habits. As you make smaller changes, you will feel better about yourself, gain some confidence and this can help increase your motivation to continue.
So for instance, if you haven't been working out at all, you might first start doing some exercise for a couple of weeks until it is a routine/habit and then worry about making dietary changes. Doing both at the same time may seem like too much right now when you are tired and have limited time.
If you are too tired at night to get on the elliptical, can you do it first thing in the morning? That way you will also feel good the rest of the day that you got your exercise in and that sometimes helps in making better food choices.
You can set your initial goal to be very manageable, such as - I will get on my elliptical trainer for just 5 minutes every day as soon as I wake up (or even every other day if you like). I think it is the getting on the machine that needs to become a habit. The length of your workouts will increase as your fitness does (and often times, no matter how much you didn't feel like working out before you get on, once the blood starts pumping, you might surprise yourself that you want to stay on longer than the X minutes you set out to do)
Then, once you have a consistent workout routine after a couple of weeks, when you make dietary changes, you can also start small here - maybe pick one thing you will focus on each week, such as cutting out soda (or maybe cut soda consumption in half and then go from there).
I think the key to remember is that this is not an all or nothing thing. These are healthy habits and routines that will take some time before they come second nature to you. Focus on the habits, routines and decisions, and the results of weight loss will eventually come. Doing something is better than doing nothing.
Above all, be kind to yourself and talk to yourself like you would talk to a good friend. I'm sure you know how to be supportive of your friends, so that should also be the voice you hear in your own head, too.
Good luck - you can do this!0 -
İ am sorry that you feel this way. I know the feeling of feeling like there is no way out but there şs lşght at the end of the tunnel I was in an awful place but i managed to pull myself out by makşng a few small changes.
Dont ever not look at yourself in the mirror, in fact make it a habit to look at the mirror every morning and tell your self (out load) three things that you like about yourself. They dont have to be all physical, tell your self your a good mum, that you have pretty eyes (beacaue you do! that you have a good heart and good skin 
Next if you have time take up a class... İt can be anything from creative writing to pottery. You will meet new people and feel good. İf you cant do thıs then go for a walk in the evening. Treat your self to a mp3 player and save on ıt your favourite motivational, empowering music. I would recommend strong women like beyonce, whıtney houston etc or anything else you like. Trust me music has a huge impact on the way one feels.
İ would also recommend reading some books about inspirational people. Reading about the struggles of these people will help put things in perspective. İ am not saying that you troubles arent important just that when we read about what other people have been through and how they have fought it gives us strength to not only carry on but to be the best that we can be. The best of us arent a size 8 or whatever. The best of us are good mothers who put our children first, we help others and we DO NOT let out phyıcal appreance dictate how we will live our life.
İ understand you want to be şn better shape, so do i. And we all should be aiming to be healthier. Try to eat better and get walking however please please try not to be hard on yourself. Dont let this control you. YOUR ın charge here darling, you can do whatever the hell you want! its your body and you get to tell it what to do
But fırstly you must change the way think.
Feel better hun x0 -
Don't play the victim. Be the PREDATOR.0
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I hate to say it but don't use being tired at the end of a day as an excuse because you perpetuate the idea that you cannot do it by assuming so.
You can do it, even if it's 10 or 15 minutes you can do it. Find the time, make it happen because if you want it you have to fight for it
And to add, you are not a blob in a mirror. You're a work in progress and that means you are so much more than that!0 -
Just do it! 0
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Darling.. find you time and make it happen! Only you can love yourself.0
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I look in the mirror every day and see this blob of a person. I just dont know what to do. By the time I get home at night and the kids go to bed all I want to do is sleep. I have no motivation or energy to get on my elliptical. I am at the end of my rope I feel. I watch everything that I put in my mouth but I lose my motivation and just give up. Help
Try looking in the mirror and seeing a body which gave birth to and now cares for children, which has carried you to jobs and trips and all of your life's experiences, and CAN and WILL work towards living a full and healthy life. Love your body for all that you have been through with it and take good care of it- make that a goal. Everyone is giving good tips- Try small amounts on your eliptical, try to cut some calories, drink water or herbal tea when you're ready to eat out of boredom or depression. Find a little time here and there for you to care for yourself.
You CAN do this! Good luck 0 -
Keep your chin up. You are obviously somewhat motivated if you are looking for help. I definitly think that working out in the morning is a good idea if you have exercise eqiptment at home. Also preparing cut up raw vegitables and dip for a snack is helpful when you just want something fast. I started doing it and it situations where I would have eaten things that were bad for me I had carrots and a bit of dip instead. I am sure that you can do this, the first few steps seem the most impossible.0
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Don't play the victim. Be the PREDATOR.
I agree with this 100% Please do not think I am being mean when I say this, because I have been where you are and I know how you feel. You just have to do it. Stop over thinking it, stop making excuses, just do it. I wish someone would have told me that a few years ago.0 -
If you were at the end of your rope you would get on that machine no matter what.
Very much this.0 -
I was in the same position. But I found freedom in realizing that of all the things I can't control in my life (family, friends, job, car troubles, etc.), there will ALWAYS be one thing I can control, and that's what I do with my body and what I put in it. I encourage you to think of the great things you imagine yourself doing if you can take control over your life - even just a piece of it. The other things will become easier.
You might get a boost out of this as well: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html. I know I did.
Remember that whether you have 6 lbs or 60 lbs or 160 lbs to lose, the only one that matters is the next ONE pound. You have the power to take control and are worth the effort!0 -
Also... I highly recommend building a supportive and encouraging friend network in MFP. That is one of the very best things about this site!0
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So what's your other choice? Stay the way you are and be more unhappy? Anything worth something takes sacrifice. Motivation starts with you and when you want it bad enough, there is no end of the rope.I look in the mirror every day and see this blob of a person. I just dont know what to do. By the time I get home at night and the kids go to bed all I want to do is sleep. I have no motivation or energy to get on my elliptical. I am at the end of my rope I feel. I watch everything that I put in my mouth but I lose my motivation and just give up. Help
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Do you want to change your life and feel fabulous about your body? Then COMMIT to it. Make that decision and as Nike says, just do it! Often it takes hitting rock bottom to make that change. If you're fed up, change it. Start small as everyone else has said. I got fed up with my whiney excuses! It's a numbers game and you've got to put some effort in and be consistent. Some days you can do more than other days. But do something!0
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If you really aren't feeling like you can work out, just try cutting back calories first until you are ready to start an exercise routine. That will help lose weight if you don't dip dangerously low and you stick to it.
Things like taking a walk or cleaning are also good easy things to start with! And don't feel like you need to put in an hour on the elliptical for it to be a "real" work out. Even 10 minutes is a great start. I started out that small with my work out and it makes it much easier over time.0 -
Love yourself just for who you are - you don't need any particular shape for that. Don't get depressed just remind yourself of all the good things about you. Don't give up on the exercise it is an important way forward and will help prevent you feeling down - if done regularly etc
Believe in yourself you can get there for sure0 -
I've been in "your shoes"...so many of us that struggle with weight loss do get depressed and unmotivated...but like others have said already...You have taken the first steps by being here and also admitting being depressed and not motivated. You need to some "self-talk"...You can do this....little by little....Get on that machine and if you only to 3 minutes, that's 3 minutes you spent on the machine and not sitting on the couch....Increase your time each time you get on it....I know it can be tough to find the time and energy and motivation to exercise and eat right when you have to take care of children...but "mama has to take care of herself too!"....Look in the mirror and like yourself....and then LOVE yourself....it's hard, I know cause I struggle with this too. BUt you can do this!0
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I am reading your thread, and I see so many good suggestions. We all know how hard it is. We've all been there. You need to change your routine. Do something different. Most of my life the best time to exercise was early in the morning before anyone gets up. I never felt like doing it at night. You shouldn't be tired in the morning. If you are still tired, you should go to the doctor. I hope you have a good one. Get a check up. Make an appointment and take that day off. Call in sick that day. I wish you the best. Feel free to friend me. DEB0
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I do have time in the morning if I set my clock a little earlier. All the positive feed back has been wonderful. I really felt like I was standing on the ledge ready to jump. But the positive information helped to lift that darkness. Its so hard when you feel all alone. thank you.0
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You've gotten a lot of good advice about starting slow and giving yourself small victories. I'll just add that although making healthy choices is harder than 'just giving up', you need to see yourself as worth working hard for. You work hard for your kids right? Well save a bit of that energy for yourself, show your kids that Mom respects herself enough to make the sacrifices necessary to live a healthier life. Then you become a role model for them! Hang in there!0
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I like this quote: "Strive for progress, not perfection".
YOU CAN DO IT! Your future health depends on it and your children depend on you to set a good example of hard work! Good motivational starters to think about :flowerforyou:0
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