How to deal with people who push/tempt you to cheat on diet?

novabrite · January 2013

I just want to post a quick query here: Have any of you dieters ever dealt with family, friends, coworkers, etc. who SAY that they support you on your weight loss journey, but who try to tempt you to cheat or fail?

I know that I am ultimately responsible for my own decision making. There are always going to be temptations around, and there will always be convenient excuses and scapegoats for moments of weakness. But I'm talking about situations such as being at a party and politely refusing when someone offers you a high-calorie food. Then let's say this person keeps being really pushy about it, i.e. "I insist!", "If you don't at least TRY it, I'll have my feelings hurt," or "You've been good all week...this won't kill you!"

It is hard enough to avoid temptations on your own. Friends and family (in my opinion) should build us up and encourage us, not try to act as the devil on our shoulder. How do you deal with it when people are just being downright pushy and trying hard to tempt you to have a major diet-busting cheat?

finding_sammi · January 2013

I just say I'm still stuffed from my last meal, but it looks lush and will deffo try later... works every time and no hurt feelings..

AliceRabbit13 · January 2013

I have. Sometimes they just don't realize how rude they're being after you've politely refused. No means no lol

"It smells delicious, but no thank you. I bet so-and-so would love this!"
"This is important to me, so I need to keep being good."
"I'm still breaking old habits, and you're not helping."
"You're hurting my feelings by making me hurt yours."

etc.

novabrite · January 2013

Thanks ladies. This came up tonight. My sister-in-law, both my brother-in-laws, and my brother-in-law's girlfriend are ALL supposed to be dieting too. I thought this would be great because we'd all have each other for support. It turns out I'm pretty much the only one taking it seriously. I'm not going to harp on them when they want to fall off the wagon, because none of them are the personality types where that would be helpful. It would just make them mad. But on the other hand, I hate when people try to justify their own bad behavior with the cold comfort of "oh well EVERYONE was doing it...EVERYONE was bad..." to the point of trying to make me feel crappy.

So I gave myself a Friday "mini cheat" day. My normal daily intake is limited to 1200 calories but for Friday and Saturday, I give myself 1,550. That way I feel like I can have a treat, but I'm keeping it reasonable and not blowing it. They on the other hand all insisted on ordering huge family sized portions of (breaded, fried, sugar-glazed) orange chicken from a local Chinese place. I ordered a light teriyaki bowl and only ate half. The whole time as they were eating THIRD and FOURTH helpings of (full plates) of chicken (which I looked up and is 73 calories per nugget-sized hunk of chicken), they were like pressuring me, saying my food looked inadequate, trying to get me to eat some of the orange chicken, talking about how good it was, etc. I know they were all eating 6,000 calorie meals and telling themselves that they were "good all week" and could have "just one cheat."

wickedwendy6 · January 2013

I wrote a blog on this very topic. Here's the link.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/wickedwendy6/view/no-thanks-nick-or-how-to-decline-food-offers-459795

novabrite · January 2013

Thanks Wendy! Your blog post was perfect! I'll definitely implement some of your suggestions.

mochalishious · January 2013

My husband is guilty of that. He is a big sweet eater. I do eat some but I have cut back drastically. He is always like this is so good you sure you dont want any? I will politely say no thank you but he has to ask me over & over . Sometimes when I tell him no he gets a little upset. I dont think he gets this is what I need to do for me. If I choose to eat a sweet it will be because I want it not because he pressured me into eating it

monicalosesweight · January 2013

The only problem with faking an illness (the Ferris B. method) is that you could end up having someone push you to see a doctor. I usually tell them that I'm not dieting and that this is a lifestyle change for me - I make them aware that I'm very conscious of portion size and that American dishes are really messed up on calories. I know people are pushy but if they get pushy, I just push back and start listing the numbers of calories of the items on their plate....usually they don't like this and will stop. I would suggest mentioning that the "6 slices of pizza they just ate is three days worth of calories which is about 1200 calories which would take me about two hours of walking super fast at 3 or 4 miles an hour to burn it off" and that you really don't feel like starving yourself for a week to make up for it or going that crazy on activity. Usually, they look startled and have no idea about the calorie counts....I know I had some friends who were shocked when I told them the crust on pie is anywhere from 200 to 300 calories for a tiny slice...without the actual filling.

The other option, tell them now that you're eating right, any large portions seem to make you ill. You could also say that you really don't plan on messing with your food portions until you've lost that last 20 pounds. I've done that...it works.

Basically, you have to stand up for yourself and just bring reality to the table or these people will push you to eat wrong and frankly, I want to become healthy - not go backwards.

Monica

P.S. Above all, don't try to argue with someone over how healthy any dish is...if they never calculated the calories - they have no idea...they are going based on the items...not the total calories hence why they really don't get it. That argument will land you in the "But it's only one time that you're cheating excuse they will push on you..."

Lightbulb1088 · January 2013

I tell some that it doesn't fit into my meal plan for today. Sometimes i just say no I am not hungery right now.
Don't be afraid to say no. It is you that counts. Put yourself first.

How to deal with people who push/tempt you to cheat on diet?

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