I'm too busy to exercise.

2

Replies

  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    I will almost guarantee that anyone who says they are too busy to exercise watches at least 30 minutes of TV every day.

    There you go.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    I've been in the "I'm too busy to exercise" frame of mind for a few years. Here are the excuses I've used: I stay home with my 3 year old during the day and I work from home 7pm-11pm. We have a free gym in our neighborhood but it's only open from 6am to 10pm. I can't go at night b/c it's closed when I'm off work and I'm too tired to get up at 6am, plus it's dark and there's no one else up there so I don't feel safe. I can't go during the day b/c there's no one to watch my little and I can't take her up there with me. I can't go to a "real" gym where they have drop off's for kids b/c I don't have a car. I can't work out at home b/c my daughter wants to work out with me and I'll trip over her or accidentally hit her with a weight or something. I can't work out at home while she's napping b/c I have to take advantage of that time to do laundry, dishes, talk on the phone without interruptions, you name it. Plus my house is too small for a bunch of equipment.

    I'm sure I've come up with many more reasons why I'm too busy or it just won't work but it's mostly just me making excuses for being lazy, tired and out of shape. So I bought stair machine (it's SOMETHING, at least), started doing that, bought some videos, started doing those, dug out my jump rope and weights, and I got yoga mats for myself AND my little so we have "safe" areas and we won't get in eachother's way. It's awesome because if I haven't started doing something by around 9:30, she says "mama, we have to exercise and be healthy!" She's not all weird or scarred by it or anything - she thinks it's fun, but eventually she'll really get what it means and it'll be apart of who she is. Hopefully she'll always want to do it. And when I get tired and stop while the video is still going, she yells "mama, you can do it, keep going!" and I laugh and get my butt in gear. She's the best personal trainer and she's free! Haha. I can do more and I try to do more everyday. DH's car will be paid off next month and I'll have a new car shortly after and will start going to the "real" gym. In the meantime, I'm constantly reminding myself that I have time and I have to do this. =)
  • nc805397
    nc805397 Posts: 223 Member
    I'm a full time university student with 5 part time jobs, (YES 5!!) and I still make time to exercise EVERY DAY!!! I used to be 'i don't have time' but ever since I MADE TIME I have lost almost 35 lbs!!!!!! (since May!!!)

    :)
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I agree with the OP. even in really difficult circumstances, you can always go for a walk. If you can't, you can always do some rounds of situps, pushups, and Burpees. As long as you are physically able, the only thing stopping you is you. You can do situps and pushups in a hospital room, you can do them anywhere. If you're visiting with someone, you can get up a little early and busting a quick 20-minute workout. You can run in place. You can jump rope. There are so many things that you can do without having to even leave home. You don't need a gym. Saying you do not have time is really just deciding you don't want it bad enough.

    I will agree that there are some life circumstances where you'll put things on hold for a while. It happens sometimes. But, most of the people that tell me they don't have time, really do. They just don't want to make the time.

    I'm weird in that really bad crisis such as death in the family or horrible tragic life circumstances pushes me further into working out...probably because I'm trying to relieve the stress. I've experienced a few of those situations, and I don't know if I'm lucky or not, but most people pull back, and I get more out there and do it. So, I'm just weird, and lucky?
  • stang_girl88
    stang_girl88 Posts: 234 Member
    You have to make it a priority. I get up at 4:30 am. Not going to lie, it sucks, but the benefits out weight the draw backs. Then it is done for the day and no excuses can be made :)
  • jessjayjenk
    jessjayjenk Posts: 19 Member
    I've been in the "I'm too busy to exercise" frame of mind for a few years. Here are the excuses I've used: I stay home with my 3 year old during the day and I work from home 7pm-11pm. We have a free gym in our neighborhood but it's only open from 6am to 10pm. I can't go at night b/c it's closed when I'm off work and I'm too tired to get up at 6am, plus it's dark and there's no one else up there so I don't feel safe. I can't go during the day b/c there's no one to watch my little and I can't take her up there with me. I can't go to a "real" gym where they have drop off's for kids b/c I don't have a car. I can't work out at home b/c my daughter wants to work out with me and I'll trip over her or accidentally hit her with a weight or something. I can't work out at home while she's napping b/c I have to take advantage of that time to do laundry, dishes, talk on the phone without interruptions, you name it. Plus my house is too small for a bunch of equipment.

    I'm sure I've come up with many more reasons why I'm too busy or it just won't work but it's mostly just me making excuses for being lazy, tired and out of shape. So I bought stair machine (it's SOMETHING, at least), started doing that, bought some videos, started doing those, dug out my jump rope and weights, and I got yoga mats for myself AND my little so we have "safe" areas and we won't get in eachother's way. It's awesome because if I haven't started doing something by around 9:30, she says "mama, we have to exercise and be healthy!" She's not all weird or scarred by it or anything - she thinks it's fun, but eventually she'll really get what it means and it'll be apart of who she is. Hopefully she'll always want to do it. And when I get tired and stop while the video is still going, she yells "mama, you can do it, keep going!" and I laugh and get my butt in gear. She's the best personal trainer and she's free! Haha. I can do more and I try to do more everyday. DH's car will be paid off next month and I'll have a new car shortly after and will start going to the "real" gym. In the meantime, I'm constantly reminding myself that I have time and I have to do this. =)

    Your little girl sounds like a cutie. It's great to have some motivational support. I believe that your life change is an inspiration :) Keep it up!
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member


    To be honest, I hate people who put forth this attitude on the internet. Not because they aren't right, but because of the way they present their message.

    Life circumstances can make changes difficult. But telling people "You just don't want it enough to do the work so you're making excuses, might as well give up now because you are going to fail..." might actually make them give up! And if I hadn't listened to people who told me I just wasn't strong enough and didn't want it bad enough and decided they were right, I would not have spent the majority of my adult life overweight.

    Instead of focusing on how someone isn't good enough because they can't do everything that you think they should or everything they think they need to do... I prefer to focus on what CAN be done. Small change is still better and more effective than no change at all, and it's momentum-building. So you don't have time to exercise? You can still lose fat by eating fewer calories. Maybe you think you must exercise in a gym? Can you find something you can do at home? That would cut out transport time. Or maybe you think you need to exercise every day? You can still see a change if you can find two half hour periods a week.

    No need to give up completely. Change what you can, accept the things you cannot change for now. If you don't give yourself freedom to not be perfect it will never work for you because you'll spend all your time whining about how you aren't good enough.


    I completely understand what you are saying....but let's agree to disagree. Here's why........I'll break it down part by part:
    Life circumstances can make changes difficult. But telling people "You just don't want it enough to do the work so you're making excuses, might as well give up now because you are going to fail..." might actually make them give up! And if I hadn't listened to people who told me I just wasn't strong enough and didn't want it bad enough and decided they were right, I would not have spent the majority of my adult life overweight.

    If you have spent the majority of your adult life overweight then they (and I) are right. You don't want it enough (yet). This is not to say you never will............but for now you don't and it's not a priority. I'm not telling people to give up.......but if you want to see big results you have to make big changes. You can't get upset with the results you don't get because of the work you didn't put in. Now maybe you are different but I have repeatedly heard where people "try" for a couple months.......don't see enough of a change.......and quit.
    Instead of focusing on how someone isn't good enough because they can't do everything that you think they should or everything they think they need to do... I prefer to focus on what CAN be done. Small change is still better and more effective than no change at all, and it's momentum-building. So you don't have time to exercise? You can still lose fat by eating fewer calories. Maybe you think you must exercise in a gym? Can you find something you can do at home? That would cut out transport time. Or maybe you think you need to exercise every day? You can still see a change if you can find two half hour periods a week.

    Never once did I say anyone wasn't good enough. I did not list multiple things they "have" to do. All I said was if they WANT to work out.........they have time to work out. Saying "I would work out but I just don't have the time" is not enough. Anyone who says that is setting themselves up to fail. You can lose fat by eating fewer calories. You can also lose more lean mass that way. The best wait to retain lean mass is to eat at a moderate deficit and incorporate strength and cardiovascular training. That said I never said anything about a gym.......I also never said what I consider exercise.....you determined that all on your own. If you eat the same and work out for 1hr/ week you will see very minimal if any change.
    No need to give up completely. Change what you can, accept the things you cannot change for now. If you don't give yourself freedom to not be perfect it will never work for you because you'll spend all your time whining about how you aren't good enough.

    Or you could make some changes......I'm not talking about a ton.....I'm talking about eating better and working out 3-5 times per week. Instead of whining about how you "aren't good" maybe you actually start feeling better about yourself because you realize not only are you good......you are GREAT! Nobody can be perfect.......but we can all strive to be the best we can be whatever that is. I still believe a lot of people (not saying you in particular) try to see how little they can do to make changes.......why not instead find out what you can do. what you are capable of? Instead of looking at the negative and seeing it as me saying people aren't good enough, how about looking at it as I am trying to help people empower themselves.....I do think they are good enough....they are the ones doubting themselves.....I want them to believe in themselves.....they can do it if they put their mind to it.
  • Raezor1207
    Raezor1207 Posts: 80 Member
    I totally agree with op. You want it bad enough, you will get it!!!! I get up 40 minutes earlier than I have to just to get a workout in. Doing this, I managed to get the 30 something pounds of unwanted weight off in about six months. I am a mother/wife, CNA, and a student and still find time to take care of the only body that I will ever have!
  • ashleab37
    ashleab37 Posts: 575 Member
    Now that you're in here.......I highly doubt this is true for most people. There might be a VERY small subset of people who really don't have time. People who are parents and full time students working two jobs. If you don't fit into this criteria then odds are you have time to exercise but you choose to fill it with something else. At the end of the day, the things you fit in are your priorities.....the other things are the things we don't have time for....What are your priorities?

    Watch TV? Exercise Instead
    Surf the internet at night? Exercise Instead
    Sleep > 8 hours a day (or maybe even less depending on other circumstances)? Exercise instead

    My point is that many people say they want to lose the weight.....they want to exercise but they are too busy.......In most cases if you are too busy to exercise you simply don't want it bad enough. And honestly if you don't want it bad enough don't bother trying. If you don't really want it you won't succeed......wait till you do really want it and then you will have a better shot.

    Some people might not want to hear this.....Think I'm being mean or negative. Not at all. We as a society are really good at making excuses and not so good at making changes. It is work.....you have to make changes or else you wouldn't have gotten overweight in the first place.

    If you don't meet the criteria above and you think you don't have time to work out, please....by all means.....post up your schedule. I'll help you figure out how to make time. If you say you work a 12 hour shift please include the days per week that you work because let's be honest.......You aren't working 12 hour shifts more than 3-4 times in a normal 7 day week.
    I have time to exercise so not the kind of response you're looking for... But I work 12 hours 5 days one week and 6 days the next (so 11 a fortnight) so assuming how much people work really isn't fair.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    Some people might not want to hear this.....Think I'm being mean or negative. Not at all. We as a society are really good at making excuses and not so good at making changes. It is work.....you have to make changes or else you wouldn't have gotten overweight in the first place.


    oh if only it took was exercising to lose weight. if it did i wouldnt be 80 pounds overweight , considering that i continued to exercise (weightlifting, running 5 and 10ks, capoeira, kickboxing, boxing, biking etc) all the while i gained weight because i ate too much.

    unfortunately you can't out exercise a bad diet even though many people think they can.
  • flower607
    flower607 Posts: 13 Member
    Kinda on the same track but a little different, I know I have time to workout plenty of it, however I have not yet entered " beastmode". Until now that Ive lost extra fat and am at a little below m healthy "norm" weight from mostly ( by that I mean 95 %) diet, I really want to focus on getting fit and get toned. I have a large workout area in the basement, tonnes of workout tapes and even a weight machine , yet I barely workout. My excuse is that I don't like going to cold basement in the morning alone.

    Now I'm wondering about going to Good life fitness- a Canadian gym that I has really good group fitness classes and spinning classes . Do you think that going to a "gym" would motivate me to workout, especially since its a group atmosphere- or is it just a waste of money and I should just push myself to workout at home?
  • groversa
    groversa Posts: 450 Member
    People say they can't _______(fill in the blank) because they're too busy, their plate is too full. NOO..its not! You just need a bigger plate!!
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    i have time to exercise, 4-5 days a week...

    i am a full time college student,
    mother of 5 children, one with a serious health condition,
    wife to a 33 year old "6th child" (just kidding, hes awesome, just very needy of me)
    and also a pretend mom to 2 dogs and 3 cats...
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I have time to exercise so not the kind of response you're looking for... But I work 12 hours 5 days one week and 6 days the next (so 11 a fortnight) so assuming how much people work really isn't fair.

    because I do not want to assume please tell me what job you have that you average 66 hours per week. Even with that, there are 168 hours per week ( if my math is correct) so assuming you sleep for 8 hours per day and commute an hour on days that you work that would leave 41 hours for other responsibilities/ commitments.
  • ashleab37
    ashleab37 Posts: 575 Member
    I have time to exercise so not the kind of response you're looking for... But I work 12 hours 5 days one week and 6 days the next (so 11 a fortnight) so assuming how much people work really isn't fair.

    because I do not want to assume please tell me what job you have that you average 66 hours per week. Even with that, there are 168 hours per week ( if my math is correct) so assuming you sleep for 8 hours per day and commute an hour on days that you work that would leave 41 hours for other responsibilities/ commitments.
    I'm a manager of a team of 40 people on an IT service desk, servicing 33 clients.

    And yes, being out of the house for 152 hours a fortnight for work alone, I still fit in the gym 1+ hr, 5 times a week.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I'm a manager of a team of 40 people on an IT service desk, servicing 33 clients.

    And yes, being out of the house for 152 hours a fortnight for work alone, I still fit in the gym 1+ hr, 5 times a week.

    Damn..... you have a team of 40 servicing 33....... those must be some high maintenance clients...I would kill for ratios like that. On my team ( not help desk) we have 8 people supporting >500.
  • juliedor
    juliedor Posts: 72 Member
    I have seen a quote that says "no time to exercise? You'll find the time to be sick."
  • wisteri
    wisteri Posts: 14
    I think this is a bit like someone saying "it is so easy". I am taking 18 credits a quarter (time and a half) so I'm doing 8-12 hours of school work every day (even weekends, no exceptions). I'm still recovering from foot surgery that makes nearly all exerciser a no go on days when it is very swollen and painful. I also have stage 4 endometriosis. Some days I'm in so much pain it hurts to breathe. I can't work out every day. I think a better message is to keep trying. I'm not a lazy or unmotivated person, but my life has limits and challenges. What is important is that I don't give up on wanting to exercise as often as I can. I have had to prioritize exercise higher in the list just so that there is any bandwidth for it at all, but the trade off is lower grades and more fatigue and physical pain. There are days when I have so much to do that I'm making trade offs between eating and being able to shower or wash clothing, so don't say it's not possible to not have time. Say it is possible to make the best of the time you have.
  • I was the Queen of excuses. To be honest, there is no good reason not to exercise.

    The NerdFitness Beginners video takes me 18min or so, maybe 20. I spend that time picking out what I'm going to wear to work and getting dressed. If I picked what I was going to wear the night before, I'd do it in the morning.

    I found it was the momentum of clocking up day after day of doing the HEALTHY thing and training that made me give up excuses and just do it. I don't believe that anyone is so busy they can't afford 20min a day.
  • c2111
    c2111 Posts: 693 Member
    Saying you dont have time to exercise is grown up version of the dog ate my homework !

    Meh, get moving, the other thing that pees me off is people who say your so lucky your naturally thin, bugger off I work bloody hard at it ! Grr

    I get up early and work out before work and school, my kids ride their bikes when i do my runs and come with me (6 &8 & they love it), i do utube work outs etc - i love to exercise, no time for tv though lol
  • wcasie
    wcasie Posts: 299 Member
    i used to say that too, then i decided to exercise during commercials just walking up and down my hall... then decided to skip the shows lol
  • dhakiyya
    dhakiyya Posts: 481 Member

    Watch TV? Exercise Instead


    or get a treadmill, exercise bike or similar and work out while watching TV

    Also, it doesn't have to be "formal" exercise at the gym, anything that makes you move more is good, e.g.running for the bus, taking the stairs instead of the lift (and when you start to get fit, running up stairs two at a time), carrying shopping bags home instead of using a car/bus/taxi, playing active games with the kids, etc.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I think this is a bit like someone saying "it is so easy". I am taking 18 credits a quarter (time and a half) so I'm doing 8-12 hours of school work every day (even weekends, no exceptions). I'm still recovering from foot surgery that makes nearly all exerciser a no go on days when it is very swollen and painful. I also have stage 4 endometriosis. Some days I'm in so much pain it hurts to breathe. I can't work out every day. I think a better message is to keep trying. I'm not a lazy or unmotivated person, but my life has limits and challenges. What is important is that I don't give up on wanting to exercise as often as I can. I have had to prioritize exercise higher in the list just so that there is any bandwidth for it at all, but the trade off is lower grades and more fatigue and physical pain. There are days when I have so much to do that I'm making trade offs between eating and being able to shower or wash clothing, so don't say it's not possible to not have time. Say it is possible to make the best of the time you have.

    you have some extra things going on.....I don't know anything about endometriosis.......I did take 18-21 credit hours every semester, I worked two part time jobs worked out and had lots of goof off time as well. that said for 21 credit hours I spent about 6-7 hours a day on school. 4 hours in classes and 0-3 hours studying/ homework/ etc. and that was 5 days per week....... some people do have to spend more though....... even if you spend 12 every day, and sleep 8 every day, that leaves 4 hours for other........ way more than you need for working out. in regards to your foot/ leg, do upper body lifting, arm bike. throw a ball with a friend..... just do something active.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Good post Jac. I pretty much agree with it all.

    I was working full time, school full time, four kids with activities that required rides all the time, etc. Some of the schooling was online classes, so when I watched the lectures I would lift or do some type of exercise while watching. Luckily for me, I was able to use some of my time during work to do homework and stuff. Yeah, some days it was very hard to fit in some type workout, but most days I did. I graduated last November, and now it feels like I have more time than I know what to do with.
  • hii..im doing a split shift from 7am to 12pm n then again from 6pm to 12am 6days a week..i really wanna loose weight just dont no when and how..mainly have hip n abdomen fat..could u plssss help me!!!!
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    I'm a manager of a team of 40 people on an IT service desk, servicing 33 clients.

    And yes, being out of the house for 152 hours a fortnight for work alone, I still fit in the gym 1+ hr, 5 times a week.

    Damn..... you have a team of 40 servicing 33....... those must be some high maintenance clients...I would kill for ratios like that. On my team ( not help desk) we have 8 people supporting >500.

    33 clients could mean 50,000 ppl.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I'm a manager of a team of 40 people on an IT service desk, servicing 33 clients.

    And yes, being out of the house for 152 hours a fortnight for work alone, I still fit in the gym 1+ hr, 5 times a week.

    Damn..... you have a team of 40 servicing 33....... those must be some high maintenance clients...I would kill for ratios like that. On my team ( not help desk) we have 8 people supporting >500.

    33 clients could mean 50,000 ppl.

    ah.... fair point....I didn't even think of it that way because our clients are all internal.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    hii..im doing a split shift from 7am to 12pm n then again from 6pm to 12am 6days a week..i really wanna loose weight just dont no when and how..mainly have hip n abdomen fat..could u plssss help me!!!!

    you don't have to work out to lose weight. eat better......I don't understand your schedule..... could you explain it for me better?
  • wisteri
    wisteri Posts: 14
    The other four hours goes into showering, 3 meals a day, and transit time. If I'm lucky, on those days I might get to do a load of laundry or pick up a few dishes. I'm in a medical program so I can literally study all day, every day and never be done. I have limited the time for the sake of my health. It took me three years to get accepted to the program and they will kick you ut if you get less than a 78 in any class. It feels weird at the end of a quarter to no longer be constantly studying. Even in the four hours I mentioned I'm either eating with books in hand or verbally reviewing material. I truly am that busy some days. Thankfully, not every day.

    As for endometriosis, it is said to be more painful than childbirth or kidney stones. I don't have those experiences to compare to, but when the pain is at its worst i will shut down, almost like being in a coma. Most if the time it just hurts enough to wear on me. Having enough time, for people with incurable diseases like mine, is a lot different than it is for other people. I would suggest looking up The Spoon Theory, which explains what it means to be sick all of the time. Most people cannot really understand. I've been sick for the last seven years.

    I'm not saying tht even under the circumstances that I am not trying, but like the other poster said, it's better to tell people that they can keep trying, even when they have days they can't. You don't berate someone for having a bad eating day. You tell them they can try again the next day and one day isnt make or break. I have to do the same wi exercise. I missed two workouts this week, one for school work and one to pa in, but if you read my Sad Pants blog post, I did get back to it after three days and had even gotten stronger so I could do more.
  • verdancyhime
    verdancyhime Posts: 237 Member


    To be honest, I hate people who put forth this attitude on the internet. Not because they aren't right, but because of the way they present their message.

    Life circumstances can make changes difficult. But telling people "You just don't want it enough to do the work so you're making excuses, might as well give up now because you are going to fail..." might actually make them give up! And if I hadn't listened to people who told me I just wasn't strong enough and didn't want it bad enough and decided they were right, I would not have spent the majority of my adult life overweight.

    Instead of focusing on how someone isn't good enough because they can't do everything that you think they should or everything they think they need to do... I prefer to focus on what CAN be done. Small change is still better and more effective than no change at all, and it's momentum-building. So you don't have time to exercise? You can still lose fat by eating fewer calories. Maybe you think you must exercise in a gym? Can you find something you can do at home? That would cut out transport time. Or maybe you think you need to exercise every day? You can still see a change if you can find two half hour periods a week.

    No need to give up completely. Change what you can, accept the things you cannot change for now. If you don't give yourself freedom to not be perfect it will never work for you because you'll spend all your time whining about how you aren't good enough.


    I completely understand what you are saying....but let's agree to disagree. Here's why........I'll break it down part by part:
    Life circumstances can make changes difficult. But telling people "You just don't want it enough to do the work so you're making excuses, might as well give up now because you are going to fail..." might actually make them give up! And if I hadn't listened to people who told me I just wasn't strong enough and didn't want it bad enough and decided they were right, I would not have spent the majority of my adult life overweight.

    If you have spent the majority of your adult life overweight then they (and I) are right. You don't want it enough (yet). This is not to say you never will............but for now you don't and it's not a priority. I'm not telling people to give up.......but if you want to see big results you have to make big changes. You can't get upset with the results you don't get because of the work you didn't put in. Now maybe you are different but I have repeatedly heard where people "try" for a couple months.......don't see enough of a change.......and quit.
    Instead of focusing on how someone isn't good enough because they can't do everything that you think they should or everything they think they need to do... I prefer to focus on what CAN be done. Small change is still better and more effective than no change at all, and it's momentum-building. So you don't have time to exercise? You can still lose fat by eating fewer calories. Maybe you think you must exercise in a gym? Can you find something you can do at home? That would cut out transport time. Or maybe you think you need to exercise every day? You can still see a change if you can find two half hour periods a week.

    Never once did I say anyone wasn't good enough. I did not list multiple things they "have" to do. All I said was if they WANT to work out.........they have time to work out. Saying "I would work out but I just don't have the time" is not enough. Anyone who says that is setting themselves up to fail. You can lose fat by eating fewer calories. You can also lose more lean mass that way. The best wait to retain lean mass is to eat at a moderate deficit and incorporate strength and cardiovascular training. That said I never said anything about a gym.......I also never said what I consider exercise.....you determined that all on your own. If you eat the same and work out for 1hr/ week you will see very minimal if any change.
    No need to give up completely. Change what you can, accept the things you cannot change for now. If you don't give yourself freedom to not be perfect it will never work for you because you'll spend all your time whining about how you aren't good enough.

    Or you could make some changes......I'm not talking about a ton.....I'm talking about eating better and working out 3-5 times per week. Instead of whining about how you "aren't good" maybe you actually start feeling better about yourself because you realize not only are you good......you are GREAT! Nobody can be perfect.......but we can all strive to be the best we can be whatever that is. I still believe a lot of people (not saying you in particular) try to see how little they can do to make changes.......why not instead find out what you can do. what you are capable of? Instead of looking at the negative and seeing it as me saying people aren't good enough, how about looking at it as I am trying to help people empower themselves.....I do think they are good enough....they are the ones doubting themselves.....I want them to believe in themselves.....they can do it if they put their mind to it.

    We are saying the same thing but you keep putting the blame back in.

    As someone who has also suffered from major depression my entire life, I can't have people telling me what I can't do. My whole life is me struggling to accept that I'm NOT a grotesque disgusting freak who has every single wrong instinct and blaming myself for every single bad thing that happens in my life even when I didn't see it coming and could have done nothing to prevent it, such as getting laid off from a job because the local economy went down the tubes and the company had no customers.

    I will literally try to do something, then fail one time and then every time I think about that thing, I will think "I shouldn't try to do that, remember what happened last time? I suck. I suck at everything, and being fat is just another reason I suck and no one loves me and now I'm making a list of people in my head who I know get no exercise and eat pizza for every meal and who are thinner than me, and there's something wrong with me that I have to put forth effort to be thin and I really should just stay inside where it's safe and no one will laugh at me and not try another thing I'll just fail at."

    Or, see, I can not set myself up to fail by blaming myself for not doing everything at once. I can say "I am going to log my calories every day for a week." Then one week turns into three, and I feel like I accomplished something, this isn't really so hard, maybe I will look into trying out some simple lifting and bodyweight exercises, I can probably devote 20 min every other day to that."

    What I'm trying to say is that if you suffer from low self esteem, depression, etc. (and a lot of very overweight people do because being fat can give you low self esteem and many drugs for depression and other mental disorders that include depression can cause weight gain as a side effect.) negative reinforcement does not work. I agree 100% with your last paragraph... make SOME changes. But rome wasn't built in a day and most of the people on this site agree that it took a long time to get the fat on, and it's not going to come off overnight. You would probably also agree that you need to be able to stick to whatever your changes are in order to achieve anything, right? So if you do one thing differently, say eat within a certain target goal, and then once you have that down, do another thing differently, and then once you have that down change something else... it becomes more sustainable.

    What I disagree with is you telling people that wanting something is enough, and that if they TRULY want something, they will magically be able to change their entire life overnight through sheer force of WANTING. If wanting something really bad and being willing to work very hard for it was enough, children in the middle east would all have food, people wouldn't pay their life's savings for in vitro and still not get pregnant, and every kid who was on his high school football team would be in the NFL.

    I am saying that if you want to succeed, you need to give yourself permission to not be perfect and not constantly worry that you don't want it enough because you aren't perfect. Some progress is always better than no progress at all.