Am I not normal?

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omanitshann
omanitshann Posts: 179
in Chit-Chat
So last night I went out with a few friends to a hookah bar. It was my first time doing it, I've never smoked anything before this. I ended up really hating it, and kind of felt bad about even trying it after i got home.
This got made me realize, I hate smoking, I don't really drink (I can count on one hand the number of times i've had alcohol), I've never been drunk or high because it just doesn't appeal to me. And I hate going to clubs/parties, they just give me anxiety. I feel like i'm a weirdo because I'm 20 years old, and it seems like everyone my age is doing these things, and I hate doing all of it. It's just not my idea of fun, I'd rather go to a yoga class and play some Mario Bros.
I'm also an introvert so I'm perfectly fine staying in, but whenever I want to do something with friends it always has to include drinking alcohol or going clubbing. My friends invited me to go out again this Friday to go clubbing and drinking, and I said yes just to not seem boring, but I really don't want to go. Most of the time when I hang out with them I'm the only one not drinking/smoking, and then I just feel awkward. A small part of me feels like I should let loose and keep trying these things until I like them, but I really feel like I should stay true to myself, even if it makes me feel like an outcast. Anyone else in the world like me!?
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Replies

  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I'm also an introvert

    Right there's your answer - and yes, that is okay. More than okay - it's you and that's perfectly wonderful.
  • kdz526
    kdz526 Posts: 210 Member
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    I knew a few people in college who did not drink or smoke but still went to some parties to be social. Not every party, but a few parties a month I would say, just to see friends and get out. You don't have to drink, just get a soda or a water and enjoy the time with your friends cause its only a little bit of time out of the week. I personally prefer going to a bar that has pool or darts and playing those then going to a crowded clubbin dance bar. I tend to be more extroverted but when I was younger I was a total introvert till a friend brought me out of my shell so to speak. Another thing is going in with an open mind about having fun...if your going to go with your friends and be all this sucks i'd rather be home then you should just stay home instead of having a crappy time which would in turn possibly make your friends feel bad and make them have a bad time.
  • jessgumkowski88
    jessgumkowski88 Posts: 189 Member
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    MEEE! :D I am JUST like you in that aspect :) I'm always the DD and my friends have just stopped asking me to try drinks and smoke because they know I won't :) Don't worry, if they care about you (which im sure they do) they don't think anything of you not partaking.

    It's more fun to me to watch my friends act silly :)
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I'm the same way. I always had to be pretty tipsy to enjoy being in clubs and even then part of me was always self-conscious. Plus I get bored and restless too easily to spend a whole lot of time socializing. Honestly I used to go out with one purpose in mind as a rule. I was single and on the hunt or I didn't bother.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Maybe you should find some friends you Have stuff in common with....?
  • Crayvn
    Crayvn Posts: 390 Member
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    true friends will respect your choices..if not, then its time to make new friends :-p
  • crimsoncat
    crimsoncat Posts: 457 Member
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    I don't drink, don't smoke, hate parties/clubs and prefer playing poke'mon to "hanging out".

    Sounds normal to me. XD
  • bluebug53
    bluebug53 Posts: 86 Member
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    Its fine! Sounds like you just have an introvert type of personality, not a bad thing, just something you need to learn more about, and accept who you are. I recommend a book call Introvert power. Great for helping you to have a better understanding of your personality type.
  • bumblebums
    bumblebums Posts: 2,181 Member
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    I do not miss being 20. It's a little better than being 13, but it is still an unpleasant age. There are so many things you still don't know about yourself at 20, and it takes a lot of strength to resist the conformist pressures around you.

    Sounds like you are doing well to me, but perhaps you are hanging out with the wrong people. Things get better as you get older, though you will have fewer friends as you age. Take it from a fellow introvert.
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
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    true friends will respect your choices..if not, then its time to make new friends :-p

    Well, the old friends will eventually grow up and stop partying. Try not to lose the ones you love.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    So last night I went out with a few friends to a hookah bar. It was my first time doing it, I've never smoked anything before this. I ended up really hating it, and kind of felt bad about even trying it after i got home.
    This got made me realize, I hate smoking, I don't really drink (I can count on one hand the number of times i've had alcohol), I've never been drunk or high because it just doesn't appeal to me. And I hate going to clubs/parties, they just give me anxiety. I feel like i'm a weirdo because I'm 20 years old, and it seems like everyone my age is doing these things, and I hate doing all of it. It's just not my idea of fun, I'd rather go to a yoga class and play some Mario Bros.
    I'm also an introvert so I'm perfectly fine staying in, but whenever I want to do something with friends it always has to include drinking alcohol or going clubbing. My friends invited me to go out again this Friday to go clubbing and drinking, and I said yes just to not seem boring, but I really don't want to go. Most of the time when I hang out with them I'm the only one not drinking/smoking, and then I just feel awkward. A small part of me feels like I should let loose and keep trying these things until I like them, but I really feel like I should stay true to myself, even if it makes me feel like an outcast. Anyone else in the world like me!?

    I don't drink, smoke or do any kind of drugs. I don't pressure myself to fit in and fortunately, neither do the people I socialize with. Just be you. You're all you've got.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
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    You are who you are.
  • Bobtheangrytomato
    Bobtheangrytomato Posts: 251 Member
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    Good for you! Stay true to yourself.
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member
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    You are completely normal...what is not normal is your friends not accepting who you are for you. It's okay to have new experiences but not if it makes you uncomfortable.
  • BeckZombie
    BeckZombie Posts: 138 Member
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    I'm an introvert, too and would MUCH rather stay in than go out. I also hate bars and I rarely drink because it mostly just makes me sick anymore. Example of how I am at parties: I went to a New Year's Eve party with my boyfriend. The people who threw the party had this tiny, adorable kitten. Instead of talking to people and playing drinking games, I sat on the couch and played with the kitten. You are who you are! Don't worry about what other people do.
  • annpatricianielsen
    annpatricianielsen Posts: 14
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    It's not as unusual as you think. My friends and I don't drink an awful lot. I'm probaby the one who drinks the most, which - compared to other people around my age - is little. I suppose, I don't like having a hangover. One time I went out with a friend and none of us had anything to drink except a coke. We went home at 5 o'clock in the morning and it had been a great night!

    Try asking your friends to come over and do something completely different? Try going out an evening without drinking. Where I am from we have something called "Late Night" where all the shops are open till around 1:30. Or maybe instead of clubbing you could go to a bar. That way you can sit and talk :-)

    And don't feel awkward when you're the only sober one. You can still be social and go out with your friends even though you don't drink nor smoke. And as others have said: if they are really your friends they won't mind that you don't drink!
  • Huzke
    Huzke Posts: 97 Member
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    There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Do what you enjoy and live your life in a way that is fulfilling to you. It's good to try new things and get out of your comfort zone now and then but ultimately you need to do what makes you happy.
  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
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    Find friends that don't drink or smoke.
  • Skratchie
    Skratchie Posts: 131 Member
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    true friends will respect your choices..if not, then its time to make new friends :-p

    Well, the old friends will eventually grow up and stop partying. Try not to lose the ones you love.

    Sadly, some of them never outgrow it.

    There's nothing wrong with not enjoying the same activities that others in your circle enjoy. When I was younger, I would go out occasionally because I really loved my friends, but I did it on MY terms, not theirs. However, if your circle is only into going to clubs and drinking, etc., it may be time to find a couple of new friends who are as comfortable as you are hanging out at home or doing things that are more "you", so you don't feel like you're always alone. Even introverts get to a point where they need human interaction. ;-)

    I always had friends I could go to dinner with, or go shopping with, or watch movies with ... not everyone is into the bar scene.
  • runningwild00
    runningwild00 Posts: 109
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    I was the same way most of undergrad. I didn't care to go to parties...they were hot and gross. I didn't want to find some random guy or just get wasted to be wasted. Even today, going to a bar is not my favorite thing, I just see it as loud and annoying. I'd rather be with friends at someone's apartment! I think I probably am more on the introvert side, maybe close to the middle (what's that ambivalent accord to Dr Carl Jung?)

    Today, I drink now occasionally, probably more than college!!, and very rarely get drunk. I like a good beer or a nice glass of wine after a rough day or on the weekends....it does make me feel good, but I usually stop after 1 MAYBE 2. Just because I don't care to be drunk! Also, I think the number of calories in alcohol has always made me think twice before drinking too much.

    Something I've learned, not that I am that old and wise. Is just do what feels good to you. You want to stay in, do it. You want to go to a party today, do it. Hey, I wanted to go to bed at 10pm on a Saturday night!!! (I almost did it, the BF made me stay up an hour longer haha). As long as it isn't hurting you physically or mentally, it's probably just fine!!

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