the way people react when your losing weight

First things first: you are doing awesome!!! Keep up the great work!! And remember that this is all for you and no one else.

I posted about this same thing the other day and I think part of us sharing our weight loss journey with everyone includes getting a lot of feedback and reaction to it - both good and bad - because weight loss is definitely a big issue for so many people. I've started to make categories for people who react to our weight loss with what seems like less than supportive comments and actions:

Saboteurs - I don't think they do it consciously, but there are people who are so self-conscious about their own health issues and who have so many excuses about why they can't get healthy, that when someone they know disproves their excuses, they start to do things to sabotage your efforts. When I started my weight loss journey, a lot of people told me why they couldn't do what I was doing and were also the people saying "Oh, you lost weight. You can afford to splurge a little today." or "You can skip the gym today since you worked out yesterday." By the time I got close to my goal, a lot of those same people were asking me what I did and trying out the app and my gym. I just stick to what I'm doing and give a firm, "Thanks, but no thanks." and don't even bother with an explanation.

Food Police - People have their own perceptions of what it means to be healthy and some of those people think it means you have to be nothing but strict and clean at all times and if you aren't, then you must not be serious about getting healthy. There are a lot of them on MFP, but there are also some you'll meet in real life. They are either people who themselves got fit by being super strict with their diet (or in the case with one of my friends - had so many food allergies and issues that she had no choice but to eat that way) and think everyone should do it their way, or they are overweight themselves and because they feel bad about themselves, have to lash out at you. Depending on who these people are, you can either confront them and tell them that unless they are going to be buying and preparing all your meals going forward, that they can just keep their opinions to themselves, or just avoid them as much as possible and change topic if they bring it up.

In The Dark - There are people who genuinely want to be supportive, but because they have their own ideas of what that means, their attempts may come off wrong. These people are usually close family and friends. Some people, like your fiance, may do it by trying to go all Biggest Loser coach on you. Other people like your mom may go the other way and, not wanting to appear to be telling you what you can or can't eat, will offer you treats because they don't want you to feel as if you can't have what everyone else has just because you are losing weight. And some people just don't know better - perhaps like your friend who gave you the drink you didn't want. These people just need to be educated. Sit down with them and tell them what kind of support that you want from them. If they know what you need from them, they will better be able to offer it to you.

Know It Alls - Even when you are having success, there are going to be people who think they know a better way and give you their advice, even though you didn't ask. These are usually strangers who just can't keep to their own business. (I had a guy at the gym criticize me when I used to drink Gatorade - something my trainer had recommended at the time because I couldn't keep food down in the morning. Or the guy on the subway platform who said I needed to lose weight - and he was no where near being svelte himself.) For those people, you can only nod, smile, say. "That's very interesting." and then put on your headphones and keep doing what you're doing because it's working for you, babe! And after all, when it comes to your weight loss, it is all about you.

I like Wendybird's breakdown: some people just don't know exactly what you need in the way of support. It's worth telling them and asking for specific kinds of help. Others, even the ones that sound supportive, are scared and ashamed of their own weight/health/issues, and are consciously or unconsciously sabotaging you. Avoid if you can; ignore when possible; smile and keep going. It's true that living well is the best revenge.

And expect good things; sometimes people will surprise you. I got a lovely call from a friend who said, I'm so glad to see how healthy you're living now. And my mother, who I automatically assume will tear me down whenever possible, has been wonderful. She always notices when I've lost or when I'm able to wear clothes I couldn't wear for a long time; she celebrates with me, and never says a word when she sees me slip a bit. And when I visit she cooks healthy meals. Who would have thought??

You're doing so well! I salute you.

and when your the big girl in that world, people think your always going to be that. they base there opinions and judgements on you just based on your size. just cause im big i can cook or bake. and when the world sees small people they assume you starve yourself or naturally your more active.

More surprise to them when you show off your new and improved self!! You might even inspire some friends and family along the way