My FIL...vent

Lisa1971
Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
edited September 20 in Chit-Chat
So my FIL came over for dinner last night and told us that he updated his will and that my kids (his only grandchildren) will NOT get any of his money when he passes away if they ever get a tattoo! What???

Then he went on to preach about how "everyone with a tattoo is a total loser and they'll never amount to anything ....blah blah blah." I have a tattoo but I don't know if my FIL has ever seen it. It's a paw print on my ankle. I used to be a vet tech and I wanted to get one.

Sorry, I know it's HIS money but c'mon really? A tattoo? I can see if my kids ever did drugs or committed a crime or something but I think getting a tattoo is trivial! He even said he'd make sure when he died they got checked over by a doctor for tattoos. If there are any found then no money.
And yes, he is serious.

I wanted to tell him that it was a choice just like he is a full blown alcoholic and what someone does to their body is none of his business!

Thoughts???? Oh, and he is a millionaire by the way. My kids would be taken care of for life pretty much.

Replies

  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
    What an *kitten*. His money, though. When you count on someone else's money, you have to play by their rules.

    I love my kids to death, but I have told them from the beginning, don't count on inheriting a fortune from me. I plan to spend every cent on my wife and I. They are all independent and will m ake their own way in life. As they should.
  • aedfit
    aedfit Posts: 65 Member
    Seriously?!?!?! Ok, so you need to do some research. Compile a list of people that you know or that are famous (actors, successful entepreneurs, everyday heros) that all have one thing in common. ~ a tattoo. Then show him the list. It will speak for itself and maybe he'll have a different outlook. You could show him yours and explain the reasoning behind it. Sounds like he is just very set in his ways and needs someone with a fresh outlook to provide a reality check. Good luck!!!
  • gilsalliss
    gilsalliss Posts: 24
    WHAT???? I cant believe that?! Thats absolutely crazy!!

    I've got tattoos and I work in a solicitors office - so I'm not a total loser! Or may be I am!
  • nomuffintop
    nomuffintop Posts: 24
    I would let him know that his money can not buy him control over other peoples lives !!! Tell him that if you kids want to tattoo their own bodies then that would be their own choice, you'll support them and they'll manage fine without his money...and anyway, he'll probably be long dead by the time they start thinking about tattoos !!!!
    Honestly !! some people think money is the be all and end all !!!
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
    It IS his money, and he can do as he chooses.

    You and your husband are going to get money from him in his will right?
    So If your kids don't get any money from him from getting a tatoo. (very sad) but, then that's more money for you and your hubby?
    You give the kids money that they were supposed to get from him.

    I know an *kitten* father with 3 kids. He keeps threatening them that one of them won't get any money from him when he passes..blah blah blah.
    The 3 kids have an agreement that they will split the money when he passes if one gets ripped off.
  • smae1980
    smae1980 Posts: 794 Member
    Tell them to wait until after he goes then get a really awesome tattoo...with his money!!
  • JJs25th
    JJs25th Posts: 204 Member
    So my FIL came over for dinner last night and told us that he updated his will and that my kids (his only grandchildren) will NOT get any of his money when he passes away if they ever get a tattoo! What???

    Then he went on to preach about how "everyone with a tattoo is a total loser and they'll never amount to anything ....blah blah blah." I have a tattoo but I don't know if my FIL has ever seen it. It's a paw print on my ankle. I used to be a vet tech and I wanted to get one.

    Sorry, I know it's HIS money but c'mon really? A tattoo? I can see if my kids ever did drugs or committed a crime or something but I think getting a tattoo is trivial! He even said he'd make sure when he died they got checked over by a doctor for tattoos. If there are any found then no money.
    And yes, he is serious.

    I wanted to tell him that it was a choice just like he is a full blown alcoholic and what someone does to their body is none of his business!

    Thoughts???? Oh, and he is a millionaire by the way. My kids would be taken care of for life pretty much.

    Even if he really is "a full blown alcoholic" , he (and his money) are just not worth stressing out over. Ignore him. This has nothing to do with tattoos, so any argument you make is not going to sway his mind. This year is it tattos, next year it will be long hair, or piercings. He is trying to control your family and he is using this "possibility" to do just that. Don't ceed that control!

    ON the thought of the kids being taken care of -- where was that guarenteed to give anyone happiness? While there is no doubt that having some money can make life smoother, I have found that most of us only really value that we actually have worked for.
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    Wow,,, a drunken idiot with money. Well I for one am shocked. Shocked I say!

    I've lost both parents and 3 of 4 grandparents - the surviving grandma is penniless. So far I've inherited a shotgun. But ya' know what - my elders were fine, decent, intelligent, loving people. I have great wonderful fond memories of each of them. Those memories are worth more than this A-hole's million dollars.

    Famous folks with tattoos,,, Thomas Edison, Queen Victoria, Lady Churchill (Mrs. Winston Churchill), JFK (Sr. AND Jr.). Ya', they're all losers, and this D'bag is a winner 'cause he has some money. WFE.
  • Chuck1223
    Chuck1223 Posts: 68 Member
    It's my humble opinon that anyone that narrow minded is "a total loser".
  • shaggys
    shaggys Posts: 140 Member
    :
    Make sure to warn the children about the evils of tattoos,and make sure they don't get any until Grandpa kicks the bucket and they have had the exam.Sign whatever papers,wait until the money hits the accounts,and then take them to the finest tattoo parlor in the city:laugh:
  • pipinana
    pipinana Posts: 2,356 Member
    WTF?! A person w/ a tattoo will never amount to anything?

    Haha, you want me to make a list of successful famous people w/ tattoos?? LOL I WILL! (I'm one of them, of course, not the famous part though, haha)
  • lilchino4af
    lilchino4af Posts: 1,292 Member
    I love my kids to death, but I have told them from the beginning, don't count on inheriting a fortune from me. I plan to spend every cent on my wife and I. They are all independent and will m ake their own way in life. As they should.
    That's what my mom's parents told her and her siblings; that they plan to spend it all while they're alive, as they should. On the flip side, that's what my folks are trying to tell my dad's dad to do - spend it!! From my dad and his siblings' point of view, dividing $0 by 3 is easy math! :bigsmile:
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
    I assume you and your husband are not waiting around for him to kick it. So IMHO I would just live my life (and let your kids live theirs). You are no worse off than you are right now if you never see a cent of that money.

    I probably would have done something regretful immediately following his statement but that's just me 'cause I am the ultimate hard *kitten*. AKA "the bum's rush"

    I should point out that my mouth is writing checks my *kitten* can't cash sometimes but that don't stop me from writing them...
  • williams3023
    williams3023 Posts: 49
    Why don't you take his leverage away. Tell him that regardless of what your children do you will love them for being the unique individuals that they are, tattoos or no tattoos. Life is about making choices and decisions and while money is nice to have, it doesn't mean anything without happiness. I'm sure you and you're family will do great with or without his money. People that are so set in their ways and stubborn really should take a step back and enjoy the changes and progress of the world.
  • Kath15
    Kath15 Posts: 165 Member
    That is absolutely ridiculous. He's narrow-minded, but it is his money so he can do whatever he chooses with it. Of all the things that he could possibly use as a condition in his will (drug use, renouncing religion, etc,etc), he chooses something rather innocuous. As far as the money goes....I just have to say that the times are hard -you gotta hold on to what you got -or, in this case, gonna get. It won't hurt you or your kids to 'play nice' about this matter, then when he's gone to the deep blue yonder (or wherever he's going) your kids and most probably their kids will be in a good position. And, if anyone wants to make a trip to the tattoo parlor then so be it.
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    People that judgmental and stuck in their ways cannot enjoy the progress in the world, as they are resistant to it and view it as an evil. They are like William F. Buckley - "Standing astride history, yelling STOP!".

    I'm with Z'head, I'da disowned the pr!ck on the spot and thrown him outta my house, and if he didn't wanna leave it'd get ugly.
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