I'm desperate

The best thing you can do is allow yourself time to change your eating habits. My habits have slowly evolved over the years, and it takes time to adjust. I never used to eat healthy, I would never touch whole grains and vegetables. Most of my diet was red meat and carbs. Your taste buds need a long time to adjust. When I first started eating vegetables, I hated them. Then I tried different ways of cooking them, I roast most of mine and they are delicious! Add garlic and olive oil and they are wonderful and filling. I still hate steamed vegetables, but I like them sauteed or roasted. Find delicious healthy foods and start eating them. Incorporate them into your diet slowly. Maybe one night for dinner you have something healthy like roasted vegetables and some chicken breasts, then the next day you can maybe have some carbs like pasta. The more you eat healthy, the easier it is. When you eat pasta, try not to get seconds or thirds every time. Maybe you want to sometimes, but not all the time. Then eventually you will almost never want seconds. Give yourself some slack, take is slow, and keep trying. Also, try and eat a lot of protein, it really helps with the hunger. Slow and steady wins the race. Make small changes every day and in a year, you could be a new you!

sounds like you have some good motivation now. You are at a point where you have to make a decision to either make some changes and get healthy or to continue to fold to instant gratification and allow your health to decline.

Advice:
1) throw all that other stuff you mentioned out the window (struggling with weight for 19yrs, this is the year to do it, but never hold up to it, been to WW about 10 times, took diet pills, Quick weight Loss Centers,etc. None of that matters. Today is its own day. From now on, you need to get comfortable with the concept that it doesn't matter what you did yesterday - today you can make the right choices.

2) baby steps. You aren't going to lose 80 lbs this month. Or next month. It is going to take time. It will probably take a year or more. Set a REASONABLE goal, like 1 lb/wk of fat loss. Set up your MFP goals and be honest with yourself about activity levels and food intake. 1 lb/wk seems slow, but to really make a change, you need to change your lifestyle and habits. Going on a crash "diet" or some fad to lose weight quick isn't the key (plus as you have seen, they don't work)

3) start exercising. But eat back your exercise calories. The entire point of exercise is to maintain your muscle mass, not to lose weight quicker. The more muscle mass you have, the more calories your body burns, which means that you lose weight easier. You will also look better in the end. Do cardio AND lifting weights.

4) Realize that you are more important. Whatever causes you to make questionable decisions about food/exercise/health that have gotten you into your situation are, in the scheme of things, less important that your health.

5) Quit making excuses that allow you to fail. If you set reasonable goals, are honest with your logging, and have realistic expectations, the only thing left that can cause your to fail are excuses that you make. Realize them for what they are and stick to it. No more excuses.

You can do it. You are no different than anyone else. It really just comes down to whether or not you are really willing to work for it.

btw - I am in no way accusing you of anything, just the things I listed tend to be what most people struggle with. Pick and choose what applies to you! =]

have you ever thought about weight loss surgery?

I really don't think that's needed. Just a healthy sensible approach to diet and exercise!