Non Supportive Friends

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mluanne33
mluanne33 Posts: 70 Member
in Motivation and Support
Am I doing something wrong or do others have this problem?? Ever since I have joined MFP I have requested new friends for support and motivation and received many replies. I always leave comments encouraging or praising my friends menu or exercise of the day. In the beginning some of the new friends respond and then after a few days I get nothing !! No comments or support on my day. Isn't being a friend a two way street?? After a week or so with no comments from my so called friends I delete them. This has been going on even since I joined. Is it just me ???? I do not insult or leave cruel remarks either...I try to be as supportive as I would like in return, so I can not understand what I am doing wrong.... :(

Any thoughts or ideas??????
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Replies

  • KMorales0713
    KMorales0713 Posts: 11 Member
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    :smile: It's ok. When i first started, i felt the exact same way. Which is why i quit using MFP... SO, I promise its not you!

    Ideas: Request New Friends, Like me :)
  • PINKinquisition1908
    PINKinquisition1908 Posts: 180 Member
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    You just need better friends. Friend me.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Hmmmmmmm. I don't know, I comment to people without expecting anything in return and I get lots of comments every day. Sometimes weeks go by between someone commenting to me and vice versa due to folks being busy, but I try to comment to all my friends at least once a week. I think expecting folks to comment to you daily is a bit much though.

    Maybe spice up your feed a bit. Post interesting things. I tend to comment when folks seem...interactive? Like they don't just post exercise and food logs, but also little snippets of their day or a funny joke, or a quote, or a youtube clip to a song they exercise to. Stuff like that.
  • missgaby7
    missgaby7 Posts: 19
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    That sucks this should defninitely be a motivating community! feel free to add me!
  • HIITMe
    HIITMe Posts: 921 Member
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    I know Im bad with things like that, and Im not looking for feedback...so for my first year here, I denied ALL friend requests.... Ive started accepting a few but I still dont talk much since I feel the message boards is enough talking for me.....
  • Em05us
    Em05us Posts: 117 Member
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    Build up a friends list you can count on!!! Some people dont stay motivated to log in everyday..if they dont log in for so long i usually delete them. Some people are so busy that when they log their food they dont have time to comment on everyone (i.e. not building up to a large friends list helps this matter)
    Also even when people dont always comment on my achievements just seeing their posts keeps me motivated. If they are still committed and going strong SO CAN I!
  • hmayo86
    hmayo86 Posts: 81 Member
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    I've felt the same way, but decided it's probably because I only have 6 friends lol feel free to add me! That goes for anyone else who sees this post too! :)
  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
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    You seem needy.

    The occasional well meant and well timed bit of encouragement or congratulations is far more rewarding than a constant (and expected) barrage of empty support.

    Perhaps you could focus on supporting your friends in your own way instead of judging whether they support you enough in your own way.
  • twinmom14ek
    twinmom14ek Posts: 174 Member
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    It really depends on the friends. I personally don't give everyone an "atta-girl" for finishing their diary or logging a workout; if I have something specific to say about their diet or exercise, or have feedback to a comment they make, I feel that's much more valuable than a daily WTG response. It depends on the friends--some people need more positive reinforcement than others. Sounds like quite a few people on this thread are wiling to comply. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • babymaddux
    babymaddux Posts: 209 Member
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    i had that too the first time i used mfp. and it would show some 'friends' commenting on other people's pages daily but nothing on mine. i like to talk about things other than just my daily calories too...
  • tracymat
    tracymat Posts: 296 Member
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    You just need better friends. Friend me.

    LOL This!!!

    Anyone can friend me - I'm awesome! :)
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Honestly, I think it's based on your personality. Not you, specifically, but just personalities in general. When I started here, I didn't add anyone. I just did it for me, that's why I was here. I've had a handful of people request to add me as a friend, and I try my best to offer messages here and there.

    I've added others that have funny or informative posts on the forum, but if they don't give me a huge thumbs up when I close out my day or work out... it isn't the end of my world.

    ETA: it does kinda come across as needy. Make yourself your own priority, you don't necessarily NEED the cheering of anonymous internet avatars to be successful.
  • DaBossLady24
    DaBossLady24 Posts: 556 Member
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    You just need better friends. Friend me.

    ^^ ditto
  • tracymat
    tracymat Posts: 296 Member
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    I also believe that a good friends list takes time to develop. I keep mine lean and mean!! LOL

    I delete people who haven't logged in in over a week or people that have a crappy attitude.

    I just took a peek at my friends list.. of the almost 150 friends I have, all but about 8 or 9 have logged in TODAY!
  • misslissa121
    misslissa121 Posts: 126
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    I had a great set, for 6 months, but then had to take a break. Now I am back, and can hopefully finish what I started. I try to support as much as I can, but with 5 kids and spending most of my time at the school volunteering I often just get on to log my food and then I'm off. If I sit here too long then NOTHING would get done. Feel free to add me.
  • ladynica
    ladynica Posts: 329 Member
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    All it takes is one positive friend to change your whole perspective on fitness pals. I'm going to friend you (and everyone else on here) so I can send you some encouragement and positive vibes. I must say, my friends list is AWESOME, but I think it's because I ignore the negative and promote the positive. Hang in there, this site can be awesome once you find yourself supported by and supporting the right people. :)
  • JuicyKey31
    JuicyKey31 Posts: 23
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    I totally agree with you! I'm here for me & do understand that we all would like the support of others & that's why we friend one another for more support! Some days will always be better than others. Some days I can't reply to everyone posts but smile when I see that we are all active & getting our healthy & work outs on!:smile:
  • KodAkuraMacKyen
    KodAkuraMacKyen Posts: 737 Member
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    I think it is definitely a 2 way street which includes understanding when friends don't comment on every post. I try to be supportive and motivating but sometimes life gets too busy to comment on everything and I sometimes go days without posting much. This doesn't mean I'm not always thinking of my friends and wishing them the best and that I won't be back. I always come back and the quiet doesn't last long. If any of my friends expect me to comment back 100% of the time and don't understand that I do what I can do and try my best, all I can do is say sorry and maybe we aren't a good match.
  • lyrical_melody
    lyrical_melody Posts: 242 Member
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    I found that as well when I first started. I just decided I would start commenting more and adding friends and commenting in threads. I saw that the more I did this, the more "friends" I had on here and the more comments I got. Add me if you'd like. I'll be honest and tell you I wont comment on EVERYTHING you post, but I do comment every now and then...ecspecially on weight loss and a great work out! If you need help with your diaries..you could ask in your status or ask questions in your status. Not everyone is going to automatically say things on your diaries though..

    Feel free to add me
  • Iceman420
    Iceman420 Posts: 195
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    Personally, I don't expect my friends to comment every day. I'm glad to have them but they can't lose this weight for me. Only I can do that. Don't be offended if they stop commenting for a while.

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