ok question for both men and women

People fall in love with people who make them feel good and are easy to be with. Men marry their best (female) friend!

I was 24 years old and a little over 200 lbs when I met my husband, and I had pretty much given up on finding someone. I though for the longest time that if I could just lose some weight then I'd find boyfriend. I met him at a time in my life when I wanted nothing to do with men, I wanted to be alone for a while and figure out who I was and what I wanted. A few weeks after we started dating I asked him what attracted him to me and he said "I thought you were really pretty." I was so surprised because I was my heaviest at the time. He has always been very supportive of my goals and of me being healthier but he always makes sure I know he loves me regardless of what the scale says.

Being overweight does NOT define you as a person. But I know that how you feel about yourself reflects to other people. Always remember that you are beautiful and worth it.

This is a very hard question to answer, because I really think everyone is looking for something different. I've always been the kind of guy who thinks personality and brains go a lot furthur than looks and body. I think my wife is beautiful but I'm much more attracted to her because she's smart and interesting and fun to be around than for her looks. One of my best friends, while a great and intelligent guy, is very shallow when it comes to women and always dates these gorgeous slender women who end up having no personalities and are *****y or boring, and he can never figure out why these women aren't making him happy. My other best friend absolutely cannot date a woman unless she has severe baggage and/or daddy issues (he isn't deliberately seeking them out, either. He's just kind of drawn to them). Every guy is looking for something different, so unfortunately I don't think you're going to get the "a-ha!" answer you're looking for.

With that in mind, here's two pieces of advice from personal experience I'll offer you: 1- You can't be happy with another person unless you're happy with yourself first. It's cliche, but it's true. I never had a happy long-term relationship until I learned who I was really was and was happy with myself. Some miserable relationships, but never a happy one because I never knew who I really was. 2- You're never going to find someone when you're looking. I didn't meet my wife until I was at a point in my life where I was not only comfortable being single, but even aggressively not looking for a serious relationship. When it's meant to happen, it'll happen. Just enjoy life in the meanwhile. I hope that helps a little :-)

I was 21 and was actually at my then "lowest" weight of around 210. One thing I will mention since I see it was pointed out above and I really do agree is that neither of us were looking for each other, or for anyone else for that matter. We were both just kind of looking for a good time. Anywho... flash forward and I ended up gaining quite a bit of weight within the first year. I also got pregnant and really ballooned up. I topped out at over 300 during pregnancy. Afterwards I hovered somewhere between 230- 250 until last year when I hit a very hard depression and ending up gaining 60 pounds in six months. So this man has been by my side through some of my most "ugly" times, and he loved me the exact same way with every pound I gained, and doesn't love me any more or less now that I'm at my lowest weight ever, which to me proves he was genuine in his affection for me all along, even at 300 pounds.

The one thing I've been told consistently in all of my relationships (keeping in mind I've never been skinny or beautiful) is that my confidence is the most attractive thing about me. The kicker there is that, I'm only "confident" when I feel I'm at my best, so it's only when I love myself that others claim to have fallen in love with me. So I say work on yourself. And as soon as you start feeling good about yourself, don't shy away from allowing others to see that in you.