HUGE Binge Episode; Support/Motivation?

For 17 years, I was a born n' raised binge eater. I grew up in a home that scolded me for not finishing everything on my plate, encouraged 4th, 5th and even 6th helpings of food, while only really consuming pure crap. Sugary poptarts, pizza, 'Chinese food', Subway, and huge tubs of ice cream were always the norm in my house. When I was 17, I worked hard to stop binge eating, which I have mostly been successful at. I do still struggle with healthy moderation, but I try.

2 days ago was the worst binge, I have ever had. On the night of the 16th, I ate over 2000 calories over the course of 30 minutes. My unbearable anxiety over weighing myself combined with my stress and sleeping pills in my system just kickstarted a huge binge. I was upset that I had weighed in at 4 pounds heavier than my last weigh in, so I binged. I binged on chocolate raisins, fruit strips, rice soup bowls and cans of chili. Now, all the food I binged on was healthy, organic, gluten free and vegan, but I stilled binged none the less. By the end of the day, (actually, over the course of a few hours) i consumed upwards of 7,000 calories. I woke up yesterday obviously very sick, yet kept binge eating. I ate mozzarella sticks, boxes of candy, and even a few foods containing gluten (which is why I think I ended up vomiting everything up yesterday). I made the severe mistake of weighing myself yesterday, which led to me finding that I've gained 9.2 pounds, over the course of my 2 day binge.

As of right now I've only had some ginger tea and fresh water, but I woke up 20 minutes ago. I should be at work then getting ready for class (as I missed my classes yesterday), but quite frankly, i can't. After the commotion of my mentality yesterday, the knowledge of my weight gain and everything else going on, I cannot make it to class today. I'm just going to email my teachers, telling them I have a stomach bug/upset stomach.

I know that a pound or two of my weight gain was due to water retention and another pound or two must be due to the food still sitting within my system. I don't plan on weighing myself until February 2nd (as I normally only weigh myself 2 times a month, on the 2nd and 20th), but I honestly don't know what else to do. I'm scared that today will be another day of binge eating, because once I eat one food, quite frankly I eat them all.

I know plenty about the psychology behind binge eating, and about healthy nutrition, so please don't lecture me, or provide me with annoying unwarranted advice. As of right now, all I need is some support and encouragement to get back on track, with everything.

Eating a correct healthy calorie limit daily will help reduce that binge eating habit.. And your right that 9 lb gain you seen isn't accurate.. Ya know if you don't buy the junk food, there won't be any to binge on. Get back on track it happens.

Like I said in my post, I know about how to prevent binge eating. I know eating a healthy amount decreases the likelihood of a binge. Thank you for the reassurance with the weight gain.

I ONLY keep healthy, gluten free, organic and vegan foods in my dorm room. However, if you have any experience with binge eating, you will know that when it comes down to it, an intense binge episode is more about consumption, than what you are consuming. It doesn't matter how healthy you are eating, and what matters is the sheer act of over-consumption.I've had days where I've binged on fruits, veggies, grains, and crackers. The food was all healthy and not junk food, but it doesn't stop the binge episode only having healthy food. You seem to be possibly consuming a mere indulgence with binge eating.

I live in a dorm room. So, while I keep only healthy foods in my dorm room, there are numerous vending machines in my building, and there are a large amount within a .25 mile radius. So keeping only healthy food in my room doesn't always work. I try to take preventive measures, but they are not foolproof, given my location during the school year.

I also have personal experience with binges. It did not stop overnight but these are a few things that helped :
- Trying to "plan" the binges. If you feel a binge coming, go and buy some food you really love - lots of it - and binge on it. At least you enjoy the food and I find it helps regain *some* control on what you eat. The feeling of "uncontrollability" during a binge is terrifying.
- Go outside. Even for a 5-minute walk. Even to read a book on a bench somewhere.
- After a binge, having a long shower and taking care of my appearance (nails trimmed, body hair waxed, etc.) helped me feel less disgusting and somehow "cleansed" me, allowing me to draw a line under the binge.
Good luck.