Gym Fear
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Yea, I've been there, done that. I'm not going to lie, it *is* scary if you're intimidated to go. But after I toured my gym and saw so many shapes, sizes, and ability levels, I felt much more comfortable and forced myself to go. The first few times, it was scary, just because you think everyone is staring at you, but they are just doing their work. Throw headphones in and go about your business. After those first few times, that feeling went away.
Nearly a year later, and I'm amazed at how much I like going to the gym. The employees know me and (surprise to me) I've made friends at the gym along the way. People see I'm working hard (sweating like a pig, in there on a regular basis, losing weight, changing my shape) and they comment in a positive manner. So, are they looking? I guess so, right? But that's motivated me to keep going. Nobody ... and I mean NOBODY, is going to say anything rude or negative to you.
Good luck!0 -
Everyone has to be a beginner at some point.... so no matter what fitness level they are presently at, they all had to walk into that gym for the first time too!!! Don't let that stop you ~ chances are that everyone in that gym is focused on what they are doing, NOT what you are doing. Just bite the bullet and get started - YOU CAN DO IT!!!0
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I would have to agree with all , Everyone at the gym is busy doing their own thing, Just pick one close to home and go...
If you have that much fear , Bring your Ipod , Mp3 player , and just go to town , It helps blocking any distraction while working out ...0 -
Does anyone else have a fear of joining a gym? I don't want to be mocked because of my size and lack of coordination. I have been doing exercise videos at home but would love to add strength training and machines. Does anyone know out of all the big name gyms if one is better than the other? I live in the Omaha area and there is an array of gyms to choose from, I just don't know how to pick one and how to get past this fear that everyone will be making fun of the "fat girl" at the gym.
Thanks for any advice.
I work in a gym.....you need to find the gym where you feel comfortable....I guarantee you that MOST people that look at you when you walk into a gym are NOT thinking look at the fat girl...they (if they are true gym rats) are thinking, YOU GO GIRL!!! YOU ROCK FOR TAKING THAT 1st STEP because we KNOW how hard that step can be!!!....THAT is what they are thinking...and in REALITY...who CARES what they think (telling myself this!!!) It is hard WORKING in a gym and being the biggest one here, but I am working on ME and the support you will get if you stick with it is AMAZING!!!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!0 -
I started going to the Y when I weighed 357 pounds. Nobody looked at me twice. Even still, I always chose a treadmill at the back so nobody had to look at my butt. While there, I realized everyone was focused on their machine or the TV sets. Nobody looked at anyone else for more than a second because they were so focused. Once I started working out, I was the same way.
Now I go to Planet Fitness. I use the recumbent bikes, ellipticals, and treadmills. It's the same thing. Everyone is staring at their machine, their feet, or the TV sets. The people in the weight area are looking in the mirrors to make sure they have proper form. Nobody has looked at me longer than a quick glance to make sure I'm not waiting for their machine or to nod and say "hi" at one of the little spray bottle/paper towel areas near the machines. Again, I'm the same way. When I'm on a machine, I'm pretty much staring at the timer thinking, "Ten more minutes... nine more minute... five more minutes... omg one more minute push push push..."
Also, even though I'm not one of the fit people yet, I do feel very proud when a heavy person walks in and starts exercising. I don't care how fast or slow they're going; I'm just so happy they're there, and I think (to myself), "I hope they keep coming. I hope they don't get scared. I hope they realize how much fun this is."
Nobody has ever teased me or looked at me funny. Someone did smile at me the other day, and I'm not sure if it was friendly or mocking, but I really don't care. I like to think it was friendly. If they were mocking me, screw them. I'm going to look *awesome* in several months, and then they can eat their foot.
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When I first started working with my trainer, I was out of shape with a back injury. I was hard on myself because I couldn't do the exercises and thought I looked silly. He grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me right in the eye and said, "But you're here."
It's been a few months now, and all those "strong, fit" people who used to intimidate me at the gym say hi to me now. I became one of them just by showing up and taking care of my body.
You're at the gym to take care of yourself. Not to impress others.0 -
I have the same fear; all eyes are on you and if you don't a machine the right way or you start off slower people will laugh or make rude comments. While, yes, sometimes people are jerks, most of the time they're incredibly supportive. For example, there were two ladies (who, btw, weren't exactly tiny themselves), kinda laughing and making comments under their breath when I first started going. I was tempted to turn around and walk away. I was extremely fortunate enough to be able to talk to my boss and adjust my work schedule so that I'm done with work earlier (my daugher has sports that start at 5:00) and on my non-mommycheerleader days, I can get to the gym before the rush and that really helped me. Lately, I've been working more and the gym has been ridiculously crowded with the 9-5ers and the Resolutioners but I'm not discouraged. I feel like I have a right to be there, too. I understand that my approach was a little extreme and I was very fortunate to have the opportunity to adjust my schedule to a less busy time but it really helped me.
That said, I've lost 53 pounds and am still the "fatty" at the gym. It's challenging but when I finally opened up about how much I struggle to another lady that works out around the same time that I do, she said "you know what, at least you're doing something about it and NO ONE can fault you for that". She's right. Another item worth noting is that the gym I use it at work - which I think adds to my anxiety because I really have no desire for the people I need to take me seriously to see me at my most vulnerable but I think work is where I get the most encouragement.
While my anxiety is not gone, it is a lot better. I've used my stubborness to my advantage to say that I will not let someone's jerkiness take away from my goals. And, you shouldn't either. You deserve to be healthy as much as everyone else does. Be strong, you're going to do great! And, if you ever need a little support - add me. We can pep talk each other. Best of luck!
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Surprisingly no. And I joined at 390 lbs. Doubly surprising because I am not very comfortable in public situations. I wanted it and want going to let anyone stop me (even myself). Once I got there and realized everyone is focused in their workout and not everyone elder I was 100% fine. I love the gym; I'm there 6 days a week, twice a day sometimes. My comfort there is nothing short of a miracle. Please don't let your fear keep you from doing what you want to do. Go for it!0
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Everyone focuses on their own workout. Don't worry about others around you. Everyone is there for the same reason! To be healthy. 0
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You need to read this.
Hey, Fat Girl!
Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.
You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.
You are awesome.
If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.
You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.
You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.
You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.
I bow to you.
From: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html?m=1
This is on my inspiration board.0 -
You need to read this.
Hey, Fat Girl!
Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.
You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.
You are awesome.
If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.
You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.
You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.
You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.
I bow to you.
From: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html?m=1
This is on my inspiration board.
Thank you for sharing this!! I'm copying it and putting it at my desk at work (my gym is at work). 0 -
I agree with all the other posters--no one is thinking about you except you! Still, if you really are so anxious and self conscious that it will be difficult to steel yourself to go workout regularly, I did have a thought. Do any of the hospitals nearby have a fitness center? Often these are also available for the public to join. I actually belong to one, not because I am worried of what others may think of me, but because it has the best equipment, and more importantly, the best, medically trained personal trainers. At my gym, there are people of every age and stage of life, including many who have obviously had health issues, such as a stroke, etc. I am always impressed when I see someone laboriously walking the track, or water walking, using the machines, etc. in an attempt to recuperate or improve their fitness level.
In the end, this is about you getting fit, NOT about what anyone else thinks or says--don't let people you don't even know have power over YOUR goal! Good Luck to you!
*edited for typos0 -
People are there to work on themselves and they're not even going to notice you. If they do notice you, more than likely they'll see someone working hard to improve their health and appearance rather than seeing "the fat girl." And even if there's some random jerk who gives you the stink eye (or even if there isn't and you're just worried about what people are thinking), you cannot let that stop you from doing this. Check out a couple gyms that are convenient and figure out which one you like best. They'll all be happy to give you a guest pass or something so you can try it out if it means a possible membership. Just be sure to go in and make sure it's somewhere you want to work out. We have a free gym in our neighborhood and I hate it. I mean, you can't get anymore convenient or affordable than that, but I'd rather spend the money and drive the 10 miles to 24 hour so I don't have to fight with 13 year olds who just want to sit on the equipment and look cool.0
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Corkline, I was about to post the exact same thing. I feel like elsie_beans when I run. I have lots of friends who are marathoners and tri-athletes and I always assumed that people were thinking the worst when they saw me "run" (actually I WOG not run Walk/Jog). When I read this blog post the first time I nearly teared up.
Please elsie_beans, don't let the liar in your head win when it tells you others think less of you. Go to the gym and do your thing, girl!
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What everyone said here is true. People will either not pay much attention to you at all because they are focused on themselves or they will be happy to see another person working to better themselves. You will probably encourage other people as well.
If you're worried about using the machines incorrectly, hire a trainer for a couple sessions. When I joined my last gym, I went the first time and was totally lost. There were so many machines that I didn't know where to start. That day I made an appointment with the trainer and explained my goals. He set me up with a solid exercise plan, showed me how to use all the machines and do the exercises correctly.0 -
Read this, too! http://www.joshilynjackson.com/ftk/?p=1675
Speaking as truthfully as I can, I will tell you this. 99.9% of the people in the gym aren't going to make fun of you. If they look twice, it's only to give you an admiring thought. Almost everybody there is working on their own goals and will be sympathetic and encouraging to the goals of others.
HOWEVER, and this probably doesn't come as a shock to you, there are some creeps in the world. There are some people who feel that they are entitled to say whatever they want to whomever they want without thinking about whether it's any of their bloody business. There are people who may make snide comments to you, but they are few and far between. There are people who might give you the stink-eye, or otherwise make you feel uncomfortable. They are the exception rather than the rule, but they are out there.
I hope you never run into one of those pricks. I have only done so once in my life, and it was years ago when I was still in high school. But if you do meet a person who is determined to bring you down, don't you dare let them. You have a right to take care of yourself. You have a right to take up gym space. You have a right to do it without harassment. So if anyone gives you any nonsense, tell them to eat it, then report them to the gym staff.
As the fat girl at my gym, I applaud you!0 -
It took me a YEAR of driving by the gym and getting enough courage to walk in and join. My only regret is that I didn't do it 11 months earlier
Like so many have posted, most are thinking about themselves. They aren't thinking about YOU. They're thinking of bills that have to be paid; obligations; work; kids; how great they're going to look in that dress for an upcoming event, etc
You can do it and you won't regret it - promise.0 -
Im the same! there should be just a gym for a fat girls like me. Last time I went there where girls with the make up on, skinny, fit girls. But do not give up! Im about to join from next month, go on we can do it together 0
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I live in a small town and 95% of the people at our gym are fit and/or high school kids. I was scared to death to go. But I did and I love it. I just got on the machines and read the instructions on it and did them. I put on my headphones and ignore everyone and they ignore me :-) I am 34 and need to lose more than 50 lbs. Usually while I am there the personal trainer is there working out and doing training sessions. I was terrified he would say something to be me but he has been nothing but nice and just told me to ask him if I have any questions. Seriously no one has so much as glanced at me and the same people usually are there at the same times so they are used to me and I am used them. Sometimes they even smile at me :-)0
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Put your headphones on bury your mind into what you are doing and just imagine yourself as the only one in there.....everyday it gets easier! Getting there is the hard part......once you are there, it is easy, just sweat that fear out!!!!!0
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