Gym Fear
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You need to read this.
Hey, Fat Girl!
Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.
You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.
You are awesome.
If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.
You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.
You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.
You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.
I bow to you.
From: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html?m=1
This is on my inspiration board.
Thank you for sharing this!! I'm copying it and putting it at my desk at work (my gym is at work).
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I agree with all the other posters--no one is thinking about you except you! Still, if you really are so anxious and self conscious that it will be difficult to steel yourself to go workout regularly, I did have a thought. Do any of the hospitals nearby have a fitness center? Often these are also available for the public to join. I actually belong to one, not because I am worried of what others may think of me, but because it has the best equipment, and more importantly, the best, medically trained personal trainers. At my gym, there are people of every age and stage of life, including many who have obviously had health issues, such as a stroke, etc. I am always impressed when I see someone laboriously walking the track, or water walking, using the machines, etc. in an attempt to recuperate or improve their fitness level.
In the end, this is about you getting fit, NOT about what anyone else thinks or says--don't let people you don't even know have power over YOUR goal! Good Luck to you!
*edited for typos0 -
People are there to work on themselves and they're not even going to notice you. If they do notice you, more than likely they'll see someone working hard to improve their health and appearance rather than seeing "the fat girl." And even if there's some random jerk who gives you the stink eye (or even if there isn't and you're just worried about what people are thinking), you cannot let that stop you from doing this. Check out a couple gyms that are convenient and figure out which one you like best. They'll all be happy to give you a guest pass or something so you can try it out if it means a possible membership. Just be sure to go in and make sure it's somewhere you want to work out. We have a free gym in our neighborhood and I hate it. I mean, you can't get anymore convenient or affordable than that, but I'd rather spend the money and drive the 10 miles to 24 hour so I don't have to fight with 13 year olds who just want to sit on the equipment and look cool.0
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Corkline, I was about to post the exact same thing. I feel like elsie_beans when I run. I have lots of friends who are marathoners and tri-athletes and I always assumed that people were thinking the worst when they saw me "run" (actually I WOG not run Walk/Jog). When I read this blog post the first time I nearly teared up.
Please elsie_beans, don't let the liar in your head win when it tells you others think less of you. Go to the gym and do your thing, girl!
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What everyone said here is true. People will either not pay much attention to you at all because they are focused on themselves or they will be happy to see another person working to better themselves. You will probably encourage other people as well.
If you're worried about using the machines incorrectly, hire a trainer for a couple sessions. When I joined my last gym, I went the first time and was totally lost. There were so many machines that I didn't know where to start. That day I made an appointment with the trainer and explained my goals. He set me up with a solid exercise plan, showed me how to use all the machines and do the exercises correctly.0 -
Read this, too! http://www.joshilynjackson.com/ftk/?p=1675
Speaking as truthfully as I can, I will tell you this. 99.9% of the people in the gym aren't going to make fun of you. If they look twice, it's only to give you an admiring thought. Almost everybody there is working on their own goals and will be sympathetic and encouraging to the goals of others.
HOWEVER, and this probably doesn't come as a shock to you, there are some creeps in the world. There are some people who feel that they are entitled to say whatever they want to whomever they want without thinking about whether it's any of their bloody business. There are people who may make snide comments to you, but they are few and far between. There are people who might give you the stink-eye, or otherwise make you feel uncomfortable. They are the exception rather than the rule, but they are out there.
I hope you never run into one of those pricks. I have only done so once in my life, and it was years ago when I was still in high school. But if you do meet a person who is determined to bring you down, don't you dare let them. You have a right to take care of yourself. You have a right to take up gym space. You have a right to do it without harassment. So if anyone gives you any nonsense, tell them to eat it, then report them to the gym staff.
As the fat girl at my gym, I applaud you!0 -
It took me a YEAR of driving by the gym and getting enough courage to walk in and join. My only regret is that I didn't do it 11 months earlier
Like so many have posted, most are thinking about themselves. They aren't thinking about YOU. They're thinking of bills that have to be paid; obligations; work; kids; how great they're going to look in that dress for an upcoming event, etc
You can do it and you won't regret it - promise.0 -
Im the same! there should be just a gym for a fat girls like me. Last time I went there where girls with the make up on, skinny, fit girls. But do not give up! Im about to join from next month, go on we can do it together 0
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I live in a small town and 95% of the people at our gym are fit and/or high school kids. I was scared to death to go. But I did and I love it. I just got on the machines and read the instructions on it and did them. I put on my headphones and ignore everyone and they ignore me :-) I am 34 and need to lose more than 50 lbs. Usually while I am there the personal trainer is there working out and doing training sessions. I was terrified he would say something to be me but he has been nothing but nice and just told me to ask him if I have any questions. Seriously no one has so much as glanced at me and the same people usually are there at the same times so they are used to me and I am used them. Sometimes they even smile at me :-)0
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Put your headphones on bury your mind into what you are doing and just imagine yourself as the only one in there.....everyday it gets easier! Getting there is the hard part......once you are there, it is easy, just sweat that fear out!!!!!0
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ask about having a free trial and go and get a feel for the gym, most of them will offer a few free days. As most people have said, no one will be watching. I too put off going but once I faced the fear and got it into my head that this was going to be the only way I could get healthy. Can't say I "love" the gym, but I do love what I'm getting from the gym- my clothes fit better, weight loss, confidence, strength, friends- the list could go on and on.
Just go, you will have to push yourself the first few times, (weeks) but it will pay off.0 -
Does anyone else have a fear of joining a gym? I don't want to be mocked because of my size and lack of coordination. I have been doing exercise videos at home but would love to add strength training and machines. Does anyone know out of all the big name gyms if one is better than the other? I live in the Omaha area and there is an array of gyms to choose from, I just don't know how to pick one and how to get past this fear that everyone will be making fun of the "fat girl" at the gym.
Thanks for any advice.
I looked like this, but 30lbs heavier, when I started at the YMCA almost a year ago
0120100909 by crochetmom2010, on Flickr
no one said anything mean to me at ALL. As a matter of fact, after 3-4 months, even though I hadn't lost much weight, people started giving me positive comments. The trainers started letting me know that they noticed my dedication...other members started telling me too!
I gotta smile because even though I am STILL fat, I am looking better....I have caught 3 different guys checking out my squat ( including the cute, 20-something trainer). And I have a friendship with a 70-something guy who is a regular--just yesterday I told him that if he wore his oxygen he *might* be able to leg press more than a girl
so he challenged me and I did a set at the 190lbs he had it set on even though I had already done 4 sets at 278lbs earlier. When he asked "is that all you got?" I told him my legs were wore out since I was just finishing up my workout! 0 -
I did it!:bigsmile: I had decided that i wanted a gym that was staffed at all times. I don't want to hurt myself at the gym and lay there for hours waiting for someone to show up. :laugh:
Finding a staffed gym severely limited my options but I located two relatively close to my house. The first one mainly just had a walking track and free weights. I wasn't a big fan so I went to the other one.
I loved it and everyone was so nice! I wasn't the only big person there which was great. It took me a couple minutes inside the car to give myself a pep talk to go in though. I went on a tour and ended up joining the gym! I set up an appointment with a personal trainer and nutritionist for Tuesday. She is going to go over all of my goals with me and give me a guide to follow to help reach them!
I did my first workout today while I was there. I just did the treadmill but it was great. The personal trainer is going to show me how to use all of the machines that I have never seen before. I can't tell you thank you enough for all of the encouragement. I'm not sure I would have done it today if I hadn't first received so many words of encouragement.
This is the gym I joined. There are three in town so I can go to any one of them too.
www.athleticaspen.com/0 -
I did it!:bigsmile:
Yea!!!!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Yay!0
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I did it!:bigsmile: I had decided that i wanted a gym that was staffed at all times. I don't want to hurt myself at the gym and lay there for hours waiting for someone to show up. :laugh:
Finding a staffed gym severely limited my options but I located two relatively close to my house. The first one mainly just had a walking track and free weights. I wasn't a big fan so I went to the other one.
I loved it and everyone was so nice! I wasn't the only big person there which was great. It took me a couple minutes inside the car to give myself a pep talk to go in though. I went on a tour and ended up joining the gym! I set up an appointment with a personal trainer and nutritionist for Tuesday. She is going to go over all of my goals with me and give me a guide to follow to help reach them!
I did my first workout today while I was there. I just did the treadmill but it was great. The personal trainer is going to show me how to use all of the machines that I have never seen before. I can't tell you thank you enough for all of the encouragement. I'm not sure I would have done it today if I hadn't first received so many words of encouragement.
This is the gym I joined. There are three in town so I can go to any one of them too.
www.athleticaspen.com/
Atta girl! Stick with it and you'll become addicted!0 -
I did it!:bigsmile:
Yea!!!!!! :flowerforyou:
You ROCK!!!! Good for you!! I am sooooo proud of you
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If there are jerks that mock you, it says a lot more about them than about you.
When I see someone new, overweight, and out of shape at my gym, I think "good for you!"0 -
I goto a gym where you find people of all shapes and sizes. I dont care what anyone thinks about me or the training I am doing. I look over and see the guys pumping the iron, strutting their stuff like peacocks.....then there are the the ladys who come in with makeup on and smelling of perfume and not a hair out of place.
I just have a little laugh when I see these folk and just get on with what am in the gym to do. You will eventually start to get to know folk even if its just a good morning, good afternoon or a nod of a head as you pass them.
So just get on in there, you dont have to have designer brand name kit, I just wear an old baggy thick t-shirt and joggy bottoms. The only thing that I do have which did cost money are my gym shoes, not to make my feet look good but to give me comfort.0 -
I read on the NHS get fit website today that the hardest part of going to the gym is actually getting out of the door. This is so true. Get someone to do it with you - your success rate will double. Commit yourself to logging some exercise on mfp.0
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Go, just go! I'm one of the biggest people at my gym but I have met lovely people there and never had any bad encounters. If you want to try weights then I would recommend getting a trainer (if you can) for a few sessions and getting on the free weights. I use the Olympic bar just for compound lifts and the other blokes in the weights room have been lovely to me. Good luck!0
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I totally had OP's fear before going to the gym. Then I realized, how AWFUL and STUPID would those fit people look making fun of an overweight person trying to actually change themselves, like they demand those overweight people to do?
The answer is: Incredibly awful and stupid.
So no one actually does it. It's frowned upon.0 -
I did it!:bigsmile: I had decided that i wanted a gym that was staffed at all times. I don't want to hurt myself at the gym and lay there for hours waiting for someone to show up. :laugh:
Finding a staffed gym severely limited my options but I located two relatively close to my house. The first one mainly just had a walking track and free weights. I wasn't a big fan so I went to the other one.
I loved it and everyone was so nice! I wasn't the only big person there which was great. It took me a couple minutes inside the car to give myself a pep talk to go in though. I went on a tour and ended up joining the gym! I set up an appointment with a personal trainer and nutritionist for Tuesday. She is going to go over all of my goals with me and give me a guide to follow to help reach them!
I did my first workout today while I was there. I just did the treadmill but it was great. The personal trainer is going to show me how to use all of the machines that I have never seen before. I can't tell you thank you enough for all of the encouragement. I'm not sure I would have done it today if I hadn't first received so many words of encouragement.
This is the gym I joined. There are three in town so I can go to any one of them too.
www.athleticaspen.com/
Good for you ! That was easy wasn't it?
You'll notice as time goes by at the gym , We are all there for the same reasons , To better ourselves ,! I'm really looking forward to seeing your progress 6 month from now .. That would be cool ! :flowerforyou:0 -
LIke everyone else said, everyone is self absorbed at the gym. When we see a new (or heavier or elderly) person trying the gym, we are like, "YOU GO GIRL!!" Everyone at the gym is trying to be healthy, and really want to encourage everyone else.
For me, i look hard at the restrooms and showers. I want super clean and a separate, closed changing area. I also want alot of classes, from Zumba to cycling to yoga. Keeps it interesting.
My normal "gym" is a skating rink. Usually, everyone is very nice and wants all to succeed. Everyone on the ice is in their progression of work. One can't do a double axel, but can do a single. Another, can't do a single, but can spin. Another can't spin. No matter who you are, there is going to be someone better, someone worse, some moves you can do, and alot of moves you'll look like a darn uncoordinated fool trying to learn for six+ months. So, skaters have to get over their fear of being a failure, falling, learrning....much less the fear of wearing a skimpy skating skirt. No one is Todd Eldridge when they first step on the ice.
Remember, forward is a pace. And, joining a gym is a first step to being a healthy you. You don't know this, but you are inspiring alot of people in the gym and alot of people in your life. You watch, your own healthwise attitude is going to rub off on others.0 -
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you know i get self concious a lot myself, but i just think, you know what? i'm at least doing something about it!!! you can do it most people are focused on themselves usually anyways!!! you can do it!!! ~my personal favorite gym is planet fitness though! 0
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Before I had kids I used to love having the time/money to go to the gym. I've always been over weight and I was nervous at first but there are people of all shapes and sizes in there and I found I really had nothing to worry about, no one laughed or stared! It was a small gym and that probably helped. Also I found there were times when the gym wasn't very busy such as Friday nights and quite often it would just be me and the instructor having a chat on the treadmills so ask if there are quiet times when you will feel more at ease.0
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If your gym is anything like mine, no one will pay any attention to you. Coordination is not required at all. That's why there are machines.0
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OK, let' be honest. People may say mean things, and people may think mean things. So what? That's their problem. What these people say or think says more about them than it does about you. Thankfully, they are the minority. In my experience, the majority of people at the gym are there for one reason: to work out. Most aren't there to socialize, but they will be nice to you. Just smile and go about your business.
I agree with whomever said to check out a variety of gyms to see where you feel most comfortable. Of the 4 gyms in my area, one is known for being a meat market, and during my free trial week there, I found this to be true. Pass. I ended up at the gym that wasn't. It was also clean, had great showers, was open and not crowded during the times I wanted to be there, and where the employees went out of their way to instruct me as to proper equipment usage.0 -
I have only stepped into a gym last month I was scared so to speak to lots of new faces new equipment rules to keep to etc etc and of course feeling like the small kid in the gym but at the end of the day everyone starts somewhere and like you I workout at home to start with to get a base now am needing more weight and to be safer when weighting I had to sign up to a gym I spend first few times just checking out all the machines with my best mate trying them all out even ones I new I wouldn't use just so I felt better then I began first week went by fine then I went and there where so many people there all on machines I wanted to get on so felt bit lost but now I go later and seems to be fine aint busy places at best of times so I would say to you
Go with a close friend check the place out have a little mess around dont actually do a workout just try all machines out workout how they work etc
Check times of the gym and go late as possible or as early as possible then be less people there
And yes in this life people will be mean will look will put you down but stick in there and everyday that goes by your step closer to your goal and to be honest there few who go for picking up and looking in mirrors but mainly women and men are at gym for one reason to get fit put your music in your ears and enjoy yourself
Have fun work hard and enjoy it and remember not to just train the body but the mind and soul too 0
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