I have a problem

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Before I start, please understand that this is a problem for me and I feel safe posting this because it suppose to be a support system. Please no negative comments...

I have always been very aware of my health and weight - because of that I have been at a healthy weight most of my life. I have always exercised and watched what I have eaten. I am 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighted between 123 and 127 until I turned forty. Since then and also some early menapause issues it has been a real struggle. It seems i have to do more and more and eat less and less to not gain anymore weight. I now weigh between 130 and 136. (Currently 131 )But my problem is it is a REAL STRUGGLE to not gain weight. I eat healthier than ever. 90% clean eating - between 1400 and 1600 calories daily and I exercise at the least 6 times a week - 3 days with cardio (45mins to I hr)and three days strenght training (20 to 45mins). I am also just active in general - I switch up routines and try new things. I do all the right things- drink lots of water - limited sugar and carbs - lots of fruits and veg. I know many of you may think that I am complaining and that my weight is fine for my height and age but.... it is very hard to accept these extra pounds when I can not get down past the 130 and it is like I am on a diet to maintain. I have been to the doctor - whose answer is that my BMI is within range and that all my test levels are fine - so whats the problem. It's me. Sometimes it really gets to me... Maybe it is all in my head but i want to weigh 123 because I weighted that most of my life and i think it is my happy weight - it just like my body decided differently. Please don't laugh at me or make negative comments - I feel bad enough. This is just a real problem for me that I get very depressed about. I just want to know if anyone else struggles with anything like this. Does anyone have suggestions or idea?. I have done everything possible - I read a lot about nutrutien and exercise. Thanks in advance for understanding.

Replies

  • lucky1ns
    lucky1ns Posts: 358 Member
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    Maybe you need to accept yourself at a higher, more maintainable weight and try to enjoy the rest of your life.

    My goal weight is 30 pounds over your start weight and I look pretty darn good at that weight.

    Perhaps you are expecting too much from yourself and setting yourself up for failure?
  • squoozyq
    squoozyq Posts: 305
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    With age comes struggle.....I know that at 37, I will never weigh what I did in my twenties. I will have to accept what is healthy for my age and height etc.
    You are beautiful at any weight, but I understand your frustration as I am having to work harder for it too while my husband stops drinking soda and loses 40lbs. (jerk)
    Keep on keepin' on, and the results will come eventually....but also try to love the new you.
  • JimROCDS
    JimROCDS Posts: 23 Member
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    As you age you will gain some weight.

    Fact of life, learn to live with it.

    Jim
  • jmb1510
    jmb1510 Posts: 45 Member
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    I am certain that is quite a struggle for you and I am sorry for how it affects you. The bad news is that it is normal. There was a study that came out just a few weeks ago saying that as women age they need to exercise one hour everyday just to maintain their weight. I know it sucks, but that is just what the medical data shows. My hope would be that you can learn to accept yourself at your weight and realize that it is healthy and wonderful and many women here would love to be where you are. If that is not possible, then you are going to have to challenge yourself to work even harder to get down and maintain.

    I hope this doesn't come off as cold or cruel, I am just trying to share with you what I know. Good luck.
  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
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    Maybe you are a little too worried about numbers?

    Possibly shifting your focus to something that is not so exact might help -- like, say, being able do x amount of pushups, or being able to run for x amount of minutes. You can change your goal every month, that way you will have more successes and maybe the numbers will start to matter less?

    I hope you find a happy place!!!
  • cbullock115
    cbullock115 Posts: 110
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    As you get older, your body just doesn't burn the calories the way that it once did. I know that even at 30 I will never be back to my age 20 body. As bad as that can sometimes make me feel, I am okay with it and am just working towards being healthy. Also, you do a lot of strength training so maybe the weight that you are putting on isn't fat, it's probably muscle. Muscle weighs more tha fat so that would probably explain it. I am someone who in the past had a terrible disorder in my late teens and early 20's so I can truly understand your frustrations. Just hang in there, life isn't about a number on a scale it's about how you feel. Good Luck!!:flowerforyou:
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
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    I agree with everyone.

    I think your body is trying to tell you that you don't need to lose any more weight. Why obsess over a number? Instead spend the time doing thing you enjoy and spending time with your loved ones.
  • sonia2003
    sonia2003 Posts: 195 Member
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    I understand completely! I am about 5'6 to 5'7 (not really sure!) and I have always weighted about 120 pounds for the past 7 years or so. I got married last year and within the first year, I went up to 145! I finally now am at 135 but I struggled so much to lose the weight! I think I am getting closer to 30 and my metabolism is DEFINITELY slowing down, and if I had ever gained a few pounds here and there, I could always drop it within a few weeks.. Well, not this time.

    I understand exactly how you feel, and how you want to be at what you were. I am the same way. I just felt like ME and more comforatable at 120 than I ever will even at 135 that I am now. I am currently in the same struggle, and I am going to try some new things to get the last 15 pounds off.

    I am going to drink a TON of water, maintain my calories for my goal, and ensure I only have 1 cheat day now instead of 2! I am going to walk every morning before work, and workout more consistently. Plus, I am going to add some more strength training.

    I am hoping to get down to 120 soon, hopefully in a few months if I can manage to lose 5 pounds a month I would be thrilled, but I also know the closer you get to your goal weight, the harder it is to come off. I am going to keep trying new things until I find what works best for me! I wish you luck, and you are not alone, I understand how you just want to be YOU and feel the way you have most of your life. You can DO IT! I know you can. Just focus on your goal and how you are going to get there. :)
  • JeremyM3476
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    These people that say that its a fact of life live with it.. Well dont listen to them.. However your body does change, so what worked for you at age 20 may not work at age 40. So you need to figure out what it is that works for you. If your into tryin new things theres always the P90X or Insanaty videos. They really work.. Im currently doing P90X. Also if your not looking to spend that kinda money, google HIIT (High Intensity Inerval Training) This is a wonderful way to do cardio that really sheads fat. Its pretty intense so make sure that your healty enough to do (no heart problems, ect) Also U may want to check on a fat burner such as Lipo 6.. I take this and it helps me not over eat and gives me energy I need to get up and work out. Also try educate yourself as much as possable about nutrition. The only way to be truly succesfull in the gym is to have an understanding of what your trying to accomplish. I sucribe to muscle and fitness mag. This has helpfull hints and also gives me motavaiton to try new things in the gym. But a advice for you about the weight.. Throw away your scales for awhile.. Dont weight everyday, or even every week.. Try every 2 weeks or maybe once a month.. B/c if you arent losing the weight you want then it can discurage you.. Also measure yourself.. Dont worry so much about the wieght the scales say, just look at yourself in the mirror.. and if you like what you see then who cares what you weight.
  • squoozyq
    squoozyq Posts: 305
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    These people that say that its a fact of life live with it.. Well dont listen to them.. However your body does change, so what worked for you at age 20 may not work at age 40. So you need to figure out what it is that works for you. If your into tryin new things theres always the P90X or Insanaty videos. They really work.. Im currently doing P90X. Also if your not looking to spend that kinda money, google HIIT (High Intensity Inerval Training) This is a wonderful way to do cardio that really sheads fat. Its pretty intense so make sure that your healty enough to do (no heart problems, ect) Also U may want to check on a fat burner such as Lipo 6.. I take this and it helps me not over eat and gives me energy I need to get up and work out. Also try educate yourself as much as possable about nutrition. The only way to be truly succesfull in the gym is to have an understanding of what your trying to accomplish. I sucribe to muscle and fitness mag. This has helpfull hints and also gives me motavaiton to try new things in the gym. But a advice for you about the weight.. Throw away your scales for awhile.. Dont weight everyday, or even every week.. Try every 2 weeks or maybe once a month.. B/c if you arent losing the weight you want then it can discurage you.. Also measure yourself.. Dont worry so much about the wieght the scales say, just look at yourself in the mirror.. and if you like what you see then who cares what you weight.
    Jeremy, you're a guy...it's different for men.
  • bethrs
    bethrs Posts: 664 Member
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    I haven't read everypne's post, so maybe this is a repeat- but if you have upped your exercise it's possible the larger number on the scale reflects some muscle you have put on instead of fat- perhaps all your hard work is working at keeping you healthy and fit and the scale is reflecting it in a confusing way.

    I understand that you are bummed about the numbers and I know you said yuo have always been active, but maybe the increase in exercise is adding muscle now....just a thought.
  • Dive_Girl
    Dive_Girl Posts: 247 Member
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    I can really sympathize with you. Unlike you, I have always struggled with weight my whole life. However, I did at one point 10 years ago get down to a "happy" weight and since then have slowly put on the pounds. It is so frustrating to do everything that you think is right yet your body seems resistant. I really do get that. I don't have any advice for you to tell you how to lose the pounds you've gained my dear since, I am struggling to lose my weight also. I am honestly only replying to let you know you are not alone in your frustration and I have great empathy for what you are going through.

    If it helps at all I can tell you how I cope. I do my best not to obsess on it since it seems to make the situation worse and I will let my dislike of my own body get in the way of doing things I love to do. I've always had a motto that If I can't hide it (weight) then I'm gonna dress it up! I try to love myself any size I am since I have run the gauntlet on sizes over the years and struggled with self loathing when I was at my heaviest. I had to really teach myself to love myself and be ok with my body regardless of what size I am, just like the man in my life loves me regardless of what size I am. This is not to say I have given up. Quite the contrary, I work out regularly, eat right and work on being the healthiest I possibly can be. But, I try to focus on the health part of it instead of the size part of it and have faith the weight will come off with enough consistency and determination. In the mean time, I am going to enjoy the hell out of life no matter what I look like.

    Good luck. There are tons of success stories on this site. I am certain you will be one of them also. No matter what that success looks like.


    Cheers,
    Holly
  • Lparault
    Lparault Posts: 100
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    FIrst of all, Sweetie, the shadow of my behind weighs more than you! At 5'6" 131 I'm SURE you are a knockout.

    Second, post menopause, weight is much harder to lose, cruel joke, I know.

    Third, you say you are doing strength training. Muscle weighs more than fat, so ask yourself this, "Are your clothes tighter?" If the answer is no, than don't worry about it. You have probably added muscle mass, which means you're stronger and firmer and, muscle requires more fuel, so it requires more calories to maintain.

    If your BMI is very good, meaning you have much more lean muscle than fat you may not be eating enough calories to maintain your body function which will put your system into starvation mode, where it will store fat to survive.

    Many people don't realize that you have to eat enough to lose weight. If your metabolism is slowing down, try eating within one hour of waking and eating small meals every three hours.

    Good luck, and no, I don't think you're whining. Weight is a very personal, and touchy subject to all of us or we wouldn't be on this website.
  • JenS2009
    JenS2009 Posts: 65 Member
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    I am not in your shoes, so I can't tell you what my "solution" is.... I do know that you are at a weight that I would give anything to be. So, the jealous side says to get over it. Ha. But, I can totally get how you are feeling. Do your clothes fit any differently? Maybe you are adding some tone from muscle.... and yes, it appears that the previous comments are true.... that the older we get, the more our bodies dont cooperate with us. Have you tried to increase the cardio a little? Living on a treadmill is no life at all, but I get that you want to be happy with yourself. For yourself. That dang scale can make or break my world sometimes, and that isnt good. I have a feeling that you look amazing... its just going to have to be a mental journey now to accept the reality of age setting in (not that you are anywhere near over your prime) and see about the calories you eat.... my goal is 1240 a day and am losing a steady 2 pounds a week.... play with calorie counts and adding 20 extra minutes of cardio and see what happens. Dont be down on yourself. You are beautiful!
  • lilkitties
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    I found myself eating less and having to do more physically to try to keep from gaining weight after I reached 40, too...but am happy to find out from this site that the idea is NOT to eat fewer calories, but to eat as many as keeps your metabolism running well.

    If you eat too few calories, your body thinks you're starving (to one degree, or another), and your metabolism slows down, which means you will gain weight more easily. So, use this site to keep an eye on how many calories you take in and stay within the amount it suggests (as much as possible)...even though this means you might find yourself actually eating more or more often than you thought you could.

    This is not to say you can pig out all the time (though that would be fun, I admit)...it's a little like Weight Watchers in that you can see by your food record that if you have had most of your calories for the day already, that you might need to have a healthier meal at the end of the day, for example, to avoid going over your suggested limit. It helps you make the trade-offs that you can make through your day to stay within your boundaries and still enjoy your meals.