Why Men are Never Depressed
TheFinalThird
Posts: 315 Member
in Chit-Chat
Why Men Are Never Depressed --
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
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Replies
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Truth.
Slightly sexist, but seriously funny.
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My chest gets stared at and I like it.0
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I lol-ed 0
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LOL. Love it. :drinker:0
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The garage isn't mine... I have kids.0
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I would like to point out that I can do some of those things. And also, if I didn't want my chest to get stared at, I would just cover it up....0
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LOL... True and very funny0
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Most of those are dead on! Too funny.0
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Lol I take it we're not talking clinical depression then0
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lolz0
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I can open all of my own jars.0
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My chest gets stared at and I like it.
*fist bump*0 -
Balls0
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<== Just try and tell me you aren't staring at that chest.0
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<== Just try and tell me you aren't staring at that chest.
whoot whoot...love the tattoos.0 -
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Oddly enough, never when your mothers are involved.
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Pretty much yep.0
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<== Just try and tell me you aren't staring at that chest.
not at the chest ... the beard yes.0 -
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Oddly enough, never when your mothers are involved.
Bwahahaha!0 -
Damn it. They are pretty much all true. I was trying to be offended and point out wrong stuff but yeah, I got nothing.0
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this was so completely hilarious and not sexist in any way.0
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Your last name stays put. - Mine will always stay as it is
The garage is all yours. - no one else uses the garage
Wedding plans take care of themselves. - one of my good friends is planning his wedding while his fiance has nothing to do with it.
Chocolate is just another snack. - chocolate doesn't affect me.
You can be President. - just because a woman hasn't been president yet doesn't mean it wont happen
You can never be pregnant. - I don't want to be pregnant
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. - I can and have wore a white T-shirt to a water park
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. - I could do this if I wanted to... people would frown but I could do it.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. - I tell car mechanics how it is.
The world is your urinal. - I have peed in the most awkward of places
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. - icky bathrooms just means being creative.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. - NEVER have to stop and think of the way to turn a nut on a bolt - if I do.. I need to re-think my job
Same work, more pay. - not always
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. - never been married but the time I came close my wedding dress was 150 dollars
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. - If I don't want you to stare at my chest I will cover it up.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. - new shoes never do this to me.
One mood all the time. - my mood is always stuck in b!tch mode
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. - Normal conversations for me "Yeah... uh huh... 10 minutes.. ok bye"
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. - I never take more than a backpack - even to europe for 10 days.
You can open all your own jars. - I open all my own jars- ALWAYS.
If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend. - I could care less, infact I would probably just invite myself.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. - don't wear underwear problem solved
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. - I own 3 pairs of shoes - 1 pair of heals, my chucks and my work boots
Everything on your face stays its original color. - I don't wear makeup.
You can play with toys all your life. - I play with my toys to this day - I am 30 not gonna stop now.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. - 1 wallet, 1 purse... don't change for seasons or outfits.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. - I have no nails so a pocket knife works for me.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. - My christmas shopping is always done in one day in one mall and it takes me no more than a half an hour... its called planning a head - I do it on my way to the mall.
I am a straight Female.... and while this list did make me laugh I wanted to point out that I can and do do almost everything on your list.
ETA - not offended or being butt hurt in the least either.0 -
I read this joke in Readers Digest once. It was a copy from 1978 that my grandmother had in the bathroom.0
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You left out:
Someone else makes you a sammich0 -
My son said he is worried because I smile all the time. I told him to start worrying when I stop smiling.0
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But we get laid whenever we want. We win. Muahahahahahahahahahaha0
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Women can play with toys their entire lives... and it helps ward off depression. 0
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LMAO! I absolutely love this list! What was up with the "you almost never have strap problems in public" Lol Almost?
On a more serious note, media directly focuses on women and we are targeted and victims of society. If we don't look a certain way, we simply aren't deemed beautiful. Yeah, the world sucks.0 -
I could turn damned near every one of those around and make a list of "why it's great to be a woman".:drinker:0
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Exactly.
That's why I married one:)0
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