trying to change me

I used the recipe builder to tweak our favorite meals so I was reducing the calories without sacrificing flavor. Just an example, my SO and I both love tacos so I switched out the 80% ground beef for 93% lean (I don't like turkey, but some people substitute ground turkey as it is healthier), switched to low fat or fat free cheeses and sour cream, and make my own seasoning rather than using the packaged stuff. For chicken dishes, I drastically reduce the amount of butter and add chicken broth/stock instead. There have been no complaints about my cooking! You don't have to sacrifice quality or quantity for lower calories or healthier eating. And if my SO was afraid to try something for fear it was healthy, I reminded him that he was free to cook his own dinner.

skinnytaste.com has some fantastic recipes too. My family only knows they are healthier recipes because I tell them - not because they taste so different.

I've been able to make small changes to my normal recipes to make them healthier and no one in the family has noticed. I'm sneaky like that. If you don't tell them you changed something, they usually won't notice.

another thing is to get them involved in choice, not sure if i saw their ages but show them a cook book and ask them to pick something they would like you to try?

Congratulations on your decision. You have decided that to be able to serve others you must now serve yourself first. You sound an extremely dedicated family member and mother to your children and now have recognized that your best shot at being their Mom for a long time is to take control of your own being.
What to do now?
You have been "in charge" for longer and for more than you know. Take charge again and include yourself.
You are really already there, just a few small adjustments. They won't leave you or refuse to eat. They might ***** and complain a bit but the net results are worth it, both for your eventual svelte new healthy body and for their cognizance of the possibilities for them.
Best wishes. Stay the course you set.

You can do this! I have been married for 8 years and it took 7 years for my husband to embrace the way I cook. I very, very gradually changed what he was used to (using ground turkey instead of beef, baking french fries in the oven, having a meat and two veggies for dinner) and now, he completely embraces "healthier" eating and wants our diets to be as "clean" as possible. I endured a lot of "honey, I just don't think this is a good recipe" and our agreement was if the family voted no, that recipe got thrown out.

Start with one or two changes - even one or two "healthy" meals in your rotation - and when you make those, make extra so you can keep eating that if they "need" an unhealthier option the next lunch or dinner. Limit the processed snacks you buy and search for healthier recipes for cookies (search for coconut cookies) or coffee cake (lighten up blueberry coffee cake with yogurt) to satisfy their sweet tooth. You will spend more time in the kitchen until you find recipes that work for your family, but you will eventually get into a groove where you know what to make, how to make enough of it so you cut down on prep time and how to use the healthiest ingredients to get the best taste.

Good luck!

friend me too! I know how hard it is with my 4 kids and a skinny husband who can eat whatever he wants. My motto is : if I cook then I get to decide how and what is cooked. They all have adapted and finally are starting to see that they need to choose healthy foods even if their weight is fine. I've recently discovered smoothies. I love drinking a healthy smootiey for breakfast and then eat a nice loaded salad for lunch. I can eat the same as everyone else for dinner as long as it's fairly healthy. I'd love to encourage you along the way.