I think I need a pep-talk. I'm a little frustrated.

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Replies

  • LizL217
    LizL217 Posts: 217 Member
    First, you haven't been on the program long enough to worry about minor weight gain. In the short time you've been on MFP, you're on track.
    Secondly, body weight can fluctuate as much as 5 lbs for no apparent reason. Personally my weight can swing between 1/2 and 2 lbs from day-to-day but in the long term trend stays on track.

    This is true
    Fiber also keeps you full longer.

    And this is true
    The body can only absorb 30 mg per hour so don't consume too much.

    But this is not true. Just patently false.

    Protein is wonderful, and MFP's automatic settings are notoriously low on protein. I re-set mine because I've had success in lowering my body fat % and maintaining lean muscle mass by aiming for at least 80-100g of protein a day (more on heavy lifting days).

    Regarding exercise: it is entirely possible to lose weight without exercising if it is just physically impossible to make time for it, especially since most people with kids are pretty active whether they're trying to be or not. However, you will have faster, better, and more sustainable results if you incorporate some kind of routine exercise into your life. The suggestions about taking walks, doing something during your lunch break, or having someone else watch the kids for even just an hour so that you can spend some time making yourself stronger are all good ones.

    Good luck to you!
  • 1. I would also suggest focusing on one problem at a time and moving on to the next when you feel like you have a handle on the first one. Trying to change everything at once tends to overwhealm me. For instance, when I started I changed my diet almost completely and it took some time to get a handle on it. I spent 1-1.5 months focusing on the diet before I started a focused workout routine. I had lost 20+ lbs before I really focused on exercise

    2. The exercise part is hard with a busy schedule like that. What I do when I don't have much time is some simple calisthenics, stretching, or I pull up a workout DVD like 30 day shred on Youtube (most of those take about 20 min). It's easier to fit in if you can do it at home.

    3. As far as the diet goes, I wouldn't be concerned about eating protein. I'm not aware of any research that says it's bad for you unless you have kidney or liver disease. In fact the current research suggests that a high protein diet can help with weight loss, as it satisfies hunger more than fat or carbs.

    4. Don't worry about the amount of fat in your diet so much as the kind of fat you are eating. You need some fat in your diet, but you don't want to eat a lot of saturated fats which can contribute to obesity and high cholesterol. The only things I've really tried to cut out or reduce are satruated fats, cholesterol, and processed sugars.

    5. Hunger cravings between meals are tough, and I know everyone is a little different, but what has worked for me is I eat 3 smaller meals at the typical breakfast, lunch and dinner times consisting of 200-500 calories and I snack at least once in between each meal. For snacks I typically have a hot and spicy V8, some type of nuts, some type of fruit, a 90 cal fiber one bar, etc. I basically appear to be eating constantly but just a few calories at a time and it keeps me from getting ravenously hungry in between meals.
  • tmgider
    tmgider Posts: 16
    The most important thing you have done is to join My Fitness Pal and use the benefits that are provided. There are many days that I feel I should have lost more weight because of the effort I put into it. But in the last 18 months, I have managed to lose 30 lbs and keep it off. Just remember to keep at it and you will achieve your goals too!

    I'd like to suggest that you take a look at the exercise database on My Fitness Pal. It has a lot of different activities, sports, etc. that you can use for your exercise goals in place of going to the gym. It even includes "(House) Cleaning"! I'd also like to suggest that you check out Curves if there is one local to your home or your workplace. It has a pretty nice circuit program that takes only 30 minutes to complete and according to the My Fitness Pal exercise database, you burn about 190 calories!

    Take care and hang in there.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    google 'Nerd Fitness Productivity Ninja' :D
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    GOALS>CHANGE GOALS> CUSTOM>CONTINUE> change protein percent ( I do 40c/30p/30/f, but you pick what you like)> CHANGE GOALS.

    MFP sets protein notoriously low..you can manually set your own.
  • zombiemomjo
    zombiemomjo Posts: 494 Member
    The best advice my doctor gave me was to incorporate exercise into your family routine. "Treadmill time" is what works for her family. Her kids give her 30 minutes on the treadmill. She is teaching them to entertain themselves while also exemplifying healthy habits for her kids. I was in the same boat with two boys 15 months apart and a husband who wasn't necessarily putting in as much time helping out as he could. He finally got my point, and he now takes our oldest to his Tuesday activity so I can get my workout in. I have an hour commute, and I can go for long lunch time walks, walk the stairs in my building or hit the fitness facility right before driving home. You have to schedule this exercise time for you just like any other activity, and you have to be willing to make it non-negotiable. Make your dinner a casserole that has to bake for 30 minutes, and find a 10-20 video on youtube or the like. My boys will often work out with me. Pop in a Wii game-Just Dance or even tennis and you would be surprised how quickly it can become routine. But you have to be able to make it priority. Just commit to moving 10-20 minutes extra every day to start with.
  • Consider an evening stroll with the hubs. Mine swears he hates it but he goes anyways. I even got him to do about 10 minutes of Zumba once
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
    are you able to walk at lunchtime or any breaks that you get at work? I walk and do my stairwell runs at work on my lunchbreak + my two 15 min breaks... I just eat lunch at my desk afterwards..

    ^^^This! I'm going to start the C25k at lunchtimes and thank goodness all afternoon that I have my own office to sit in!
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
    1. Don't worry about your protein intake. Keep your fats down and keep to your cals and you will be fine.
    2. Kids are important yes but there is always a way to make it work. Do you have to drive everywhere? Maybe you can walk/cycle your kids around instead of driving? Can you do a workout DVD like the 30 Day Shred and squeeze it in evenings while kids are doing homework? Make time at the weekends to do a big workout. Remember, you wont be any good to your kids if you die prematurely because you haven't been focused on your health. Surely you want to teach them good habits? If so why not get them involved with whatever exercise it is you decide to take up. Go hillwalking at the weekend or swimming?

    For number 1... Don't worry about protein intake? Why is that? Protein is required for muscles, hair growth, etc and keeps you feeling full for longer. You NEED to have adequate protein in your diet. Lack of proein and weight lifting while losing weight is what causes people to lose muscle mass while eating at a deficit. Lack of protein will cause people to feel hungrier, faster. For me, lack of protein caused hair loss (and I know it has for others too).

    Keep fats down? Dietary fat doesn't translate to body fat. Fats are needed in a healthy diet. Of course that isn't fried foods for example but healthy fats (oils, etc) are needed in the body. They help you feel full, longer.. they help keep disgestion moving along, healthy fats help the look of hair, nails and skin. I don't understand why you don't think protein and fats are important to include properly in your daily diet.

    For number 2, I do agree with.. To the OP, you can sneak in exercise somewhere in there if you really want to. Take 30 minutes after dinner and go for a family walk. Exercise is important to children too. Or when you put the kids to bed put on a workout DVD... go for a walk and leave Hubby home to say clean up dinner. There are lots of ways to sneak in some exercise. Go for a walk at lunch while at work. If you get to work early don't go sit at your desk... go for a walk instead. Climb the stairs in the house/workplace.

    Ultimately, a calorie deficit is required for weight loss. You can lose weight without exercise but your body won't change as much as it will with proper exercise.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    I hate three kids myself, I can relate. Of course exercise is good, but it's IMO pointless to worry about carving out the time for it, unless your food intake is 100% rock solid. There's a saying: you cant out-train a bad diet.

    That means you're in a consistent caloric deficit, and most importantly you ENJOY the foods you are eating. That means you can see yourself eating this way until you die. Because best case, you'll lose the weight, go on maintenance, which is going to be a bit higher than the calories you eat while losing, but the same types of food. You can never go back to eating "whatever the hell you want" unless you become some sort of athlete and burn tons of it off. (If that happens, you'll know.) So, you better enjoy the foods you are using to lose weight, because it's going to BE THE SAME in maintenance, just a little more.

    Make small changes, and wait for them to become habit, before adding a new one. Starting on a 1200 calorie low-fat diet with 2 hours a day of exercise is bound to fail for most people, it's biting too much off at once. For some people, starting with a -200 TDEE might be too much - they just need to cut out sugary soda and wait for that to become habit, before embarking on calorie tracking.

    You know how I started? I decided to stop eating breakfast cereal, and replaced it with higher protein/fruit. That's it. No other tracking. I lost a good 20 pounds just from that which catapulted me into renovating all the other meals. Now I'm down 50 and everything's different, but this time, it's EASY.

    Once you have your diet nailed down, then think about adding in some small amount of cardio or strength training. Bodyweight stuff is the perfect way to start - you can get a lot done with just a pull-up bar in your house.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    1. Don't worry about your protein intake. Keep your fats down and keep to your cals and you will be fine.
    2. Kids are important yes but there is always a way to make it work. Do you have to drive everywhere? Maybe you can walk/cycle your kids around instead of driving? Can you do a workout DVD like the 30 Day Shred and squeeze it in evenings while kids are doing homework? Make time at the weekends to do a big workout. Remember, you wont be any good to your kids if you die prematurely because you haven't been focused on your health. Surely you want to teach them good habits? If so why not get them involved with whatever exercise it is you decide to take up. Go hillwalking at the weekend or swimming?

    For number 1... Don't worry about protein intake? Why is that? Protein is required for muscles, hair growth, etc and keeps you feeling full for longer. You NEED to have adequate protein in your diet. Lack of proein and weight lifting while losing weight is what causes people to lose muscle mass while eating at a deficit. Lack of protein will cause people to feel hungrier, faster. For me, lack of protein caused hair loss (and I know it has for others too).

    Keep fats down? Dietary fat doesn't translate to body fat. Fats are needed in a healthy diet. Of course that isn't fried foods for example but healthy fats (oils, etc) are needed in the body. They help you feel full, longer.. they help keep digestion moving along, healthy fats help the look of hair, nails and skin. I don't understand why you don't think protein and fats are important to include properly in your daily diet.

    For number 2, I do agree with.. To the OP, you can sneak in exercise somewhere in there if you really want to. Take 30 minutes after dinner and go for a family walk. Exercise is important to children too. Or when you put the kids to bed put on a workout DVD... go for a walk and leave Hubby home to say clean up dinner. There are lots of ways to sneak in some exercise. Go for a walk at lunch while at work. If you get to work early don't go sit at your desk... go for a walk instead. Climb the stairs in the house/workplace.

    Ultimately, a calorie deficit is required for weight loss. You can lose weight without exercise but your body won't change as much as it will with proper exercise.

    in bold, can't be stressed enough.

    20-25 years ago, low fat foods were all the rage. the idea was that less dietary fat would lead to less body fat. it doesn't work that way. dietary fat is used for energy much as dietary carbs are used for energy.

    the primary concern with an abundance of dietary fat relates to long-term cardiovascular health. the "bad" fats may (or may not) contribute to a higher incidence of heart and arterial diseases.

    but dietary fat itself doesn't make you any more or less fat than anything else you are eating.

    finally, your fat macro should be treated as a minimum. let me repeat, your fat macro is a MINIMUM.
  • jetaylor63
    jetaylor63 Posts: 80 Member
    I haven't been at this very long either and when I was feeling like you seem to be, I started sending out friend requests. The interactions have helped with focus, support and encouragement, and finding answers to the questions that keep popping up as I go along.

    Feel free to add me as a friend.

    Jennifer
  • debrapeterson
    debrapeterson Posts: 84 Member
    I have been with MFP a year and have found that I gradually incorporated all the elements for a healthier me. First I just tried to stay within my daily calories. This helped me find foods that I could grab in a rush. Veggie Chips, Carrot chips oh and so important. I had two packages of instant oatmeal every morning. I new that 1 would not fill me up. I didn't apply a lot of pressure on myself about exercise. I started with taking steps at work, then grandually got into the gym. This has taken a complete year. I have lost 40+ and have about 20 to go. I also have started taking vitamins to keep my energy up. Working with my doctor I have started taking folic, iron and B+ and a multi vitamin. I have health issues and this helps keep me going. Have fun with this. Find as many friends as possible on MFP and read the post when you have a moment. You are very busy so that will help you to burn calories. I hope to hear you are doing better in the future. Always tell yourself "You can do this" and it will happen.
  • CJpgh
    CJpgh Posts: 52
    Protein intake is very important. If you are not eating protein, your muscle will turn to fat. Counting calories is pointless. Why? If you are eating healthy, there is no point in counting. The only time I notice people counting calories is when they are eating something they shouldn't be. Your calorie expenditure fluctuates easily from day to day even if your schedule appears exactly the same. You must eat based on your actions, not emotions. A fork in the road does not warrant a spoon in the mouth. In regards to counting calories. If you eat for dinner grilled chicken breast, steamed broccoli and a palm full of quinoa. what is the calorie intake? who cares. you are eating healthy. Do yourself a favor. Buy Mike Dolce's Living Lean. I got the info above from his book. He has fantastic recipes. He is the nutrionist for MMA fighters. Counting calories is a Fad just like low carb diet, high protein, Atkins, Beach diet. He is not a diet, he is a way of life. If you have any questions, inbox me please. Its an amazing feeling. My two year old daughter is eating broccoli, spinach.

    Good Luck
  • Thanks everyone for the support. I guess my first thing to do is to conquer the food aspect of "MY NEW LIFE"!!

    And I just want to add that my hubby does do a lot. He's usually the one that cooks dinner, but he also works two jobs that takes up most any "free time" he has. We have discussed both of us getting up earlier and doing 20-30 min on the ski machine and/or step machine. I've been thinking of maybe something the kids (6 and 3) can do together.

    My first grader DOES have homework every night (reading, spelling, math, and AR practice) she is a very busy first grader (nothing like I remember).

    I know there's always excuses to be made, but I suppose I am taking the first step to a healthier/happier me! I just need to figure something that will LAST!
  • Coffeeplz_123z
    Coffeeplz_123z Posts: 29 Member
    Good Morning! being a mom of young kids is super busy and you are tired, found when mine were young I'd even just make sure that everytime I had something to go upstairs I would take it up, that way I was doing stairs more than just once by throwing everything into a bin and hauling it up1
    I have also found alot of inspiration in Bob Harpers new book..``The Skinny Rules" Its really not a book about getting skinny but gives great advice on how to implement common every day weight loss techniques so that they become a habit. I've learned alot, to be honest, much more than I thought I would!
    Be patient with yourself, don't beat yourself up because you had a so called "bad day". to have a day where we indulge is not a bad day...it's life!
    Take care!
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    Protein intake is very important. If you are not eating protein, your muscle will turn to fat. Counting calories is pointless. Why? If you are eating healthy, there is no point in counting. The only time I notice people counting calories is when they are eating something they shouldn't be. Your calorie expenditure fluctuates easily from day to day even if your schedule appears exactly the same. You must eat based on your actions, not emotions. A fork in the road does not warrant a spoon in the mouth. In regards to counting calories. If you eat for dinner grilled chicken breast, steamed broccoli and a palm full of quinoa. what is the calorie intake? who cares. you are eating healthy. Do yourself a favor. Buy Mike Dolce's Living Lean. I got the info above from his book. He has fantastic recipes. He is the nutrionist for MMA fighters. Counting calories is a Fad just like low carb diet, high protein, Atkins, Beach diet. He is not a diet, he is a way of life. If you have any questions, inbox me please. Its an amazing feeling. My two year old daughter is eating broccoli, spinach.

    Good Luck

    so much wrong here... :noway:

    - muscle doesn't turn into fat. it gets catabolized for energy.
    - counting calories is not pointless. it's information. information is never pointless.
    - even if you eat healthy, you should count to be sure your portion sizes aren't too large or too small.
    - i log calories whether i'm eating an orange or a hot dog. it has nothing to do with what i'm eating. i log it all.
  • RambyPandy
    RambyPandy Posts: 118 Member
    I am in the same boat, somewhat! I only have 1 small child who hasn't started pre-K yet but my situation is quite similar (except I make the dinners).

    A few things I am thinking of trying out:
    - working out once or twice a week after 8pm, when my son is in bed
    - workout videos at home
    - weekends: squeeze in a long walk and/or a workout
    - classes that involve both me and my son, such as yoga

    It's great that you have a ski & step machine.

    It's hard being a working mom! We have 2 full time jobs, essentially. Add me if I can offer any other ideas and support!
  • FullOfWin
    FullOfWin Posts: 1,414 Member
    - counting calories is not pointless. it's information. information is never pointless.

    unless it is as incorrect as what you quoted
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    Protein intake is very important. If you are not eating protein, your muscle will turn to fat. Counting calories is pointless. Why? If you are eating healthy, there is no point in counting. The only time I notice people counting calories is when they are eating something they shouldn't be. Your calorie expenditure fluctuates easily from day to day even if your schedule appears exactly the same. You must eat based on your actions, not emotions. A fork in the road does not warrant a spoon in the mouth. In regards to counting calories. If you eat for dinner grilled chicken breast, steamed broccoli and a palm full of quinoa. what is the calorie intake? who cares. you are eating healthy. Do yourself a favor. Buy Mike Dolce's Living Lean. I got the info above from his book. He has fantastic recipes. He is the nutrionist for MMA fighters. Counting calories is a Fad just like low carb diet, high protein, Atkins, Beach diet. He is not a diet, he is a way of life. If you have any questions, inbox me please. Its an amazing feeling. My two year old daughter is eating broccoli, spinach.

    Good Luck

    22247634.jpg
  • Hendrix7
    Hendrix7 Posts: 1,903 Member
    If you are not eating protein, your muscle will turn to fat

    2544962-creepy-willy-wonka-meme-generator-interesting-tell-me-more-db69a1.jpg
  • schaskes
    schaskes Posts: 103 Member
    I totally understand how you feel. As a working mom, I know how difficult/impossible it seems to find time for yourself. People have made some suggestions, and I agree with the drinking water - that can make a big difference in feeling full. If you do have a Wii, I suggest "Just Dance" - your kids might like to join in, and it's really fun! Above all, be patient with yourself and realize that you can only do your best. I wish you the very best of luck in your journey to be healthy and feel better.
  • cassiepv
    cassiepv Posts: 242 Member
    1. Make lunches the night before
    2. Cook large batches of food on the weekends for meals during the week
    3. Take a walk after dinner
    4 . Get your husband off his *kitten* to help
  • Paigepres
    Paigepres Posts: 34 Member
    Here would be my suggestions that work for me:

    1. Make lunches the night before
    2. After the kids are in bed, workout with an at home dvd (i like Jillian Micheals dvds, most are only 20 min and only require a set of handweights or soup cans!). Then take your shower at night. These things allow you to sleep a little longer, feel less rushed and refreshed.
    3. Buy crockpot and put meal inside, turn on in the morning. Less dishes, cuts down time.
    4. Workout weekend mornings before you go about your family activities
    5. Go for a walk in the evening with the kids, chase them outside or inside the house before a bedtime story or ask them to help count how many situps, pushups, lunges you can do. Then see who in the family can beat you?

    Goodluck!
  • ginia2823
    ginia2823 Posts: 4 Member
    Hiya! First off, try not to beat yourself up. I think you are already on the right path just by attempting MFP and asking for suggestions and motivation. My weight has fluxuated in the past, up 60 lbs with my first pregnancy, down 44 lbs, up 30 lbs with my second pregnancy... I finally realized that dieting is not for me. It seems like we're on the same page! Losing weight isn't just about getting skinny; you have to be willing to make a complete lifestyle change. We all get stuck in repetitive daily routines especially when you have kids! Here's a few suggestions:

    1) Eat more fiber in the morning
    2) Try to walk during your lunch break
    3) Take the stairs (if you work in a place that has multiple floors)
    4) Take your kids outside for 30 minutes after dinner (maybe go on a walk, ride bikes together)
    5) My oldest son (he's 6) and I do a core challenge every night before bed and he always beats me!

    Good luck to you!
  • Would it be absolutely impossible to ask your husband to make dinner while you go for a walk in the evenings? Maybe just 2 times a week? & Maybe do some jumping jacks as soon as you get out of bed, crunches, squats... just to get the day started off. Try taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work... Maybe if the hubby cant cook try doing pre-cooked meals that you can freeze. Perhaps devote a few hours on sundays to making food ahead of time that you can just take out of the freezer, stick in the oven and take the kids on a walk while dad relaxes? The best way to find a way is just to make it happen. I am a single mom to a toddler and I commute 1 1/2 hours to work each way, cook dinner, clean, get him bathed, play with him, in bed, and repeat... BUT I find the time to exercise everyday. My mom watches him while I go on a run every evening for about 30-40 minutes. I workout on my stability ball after I put him to bed and before I take my shower and get ready. If your mom isnt around to help surely your husband can. You just need to tell him you are sick of feeling out of shape and overweight and you MUST do something and he HAS to help... its not an option. A marriage involves two people... I know most men come home from work and expect dinner on the table, and dont want to mess with the kids.. they just want to sit in front of the TV, but you need to make changes of expectations and take care of yourself for your family. There is always a way you just have to find it. && Protien is awesome for you.. dont worry about going over on it. Just make sure you are burning those calories, EAT CLEAN. Try to cut back on processed foods.. if none at all. I wont eat anything that I cant read the label and know exactly what something is... no chemicals. Thats about all the advice I have.... GOOD LUCK
  • rhinesb
    rhinesb Posts: 204 Member
    A lot of people have already given you great advice so I will only have to add a few things. Some of these things people have already mentioned but that I will mention again.

    1. Make YOU a priority. To some that is selfish...as per my husband when he's being an *kitten*. However without taking care of yourself you will be unhappy and it will show up by way of your health.

    2. You don't have to go to the gym. I have the Wii and my girls and I will dance. Of course you don't need the Wii just a radio with a good upbeat station. Let me tell you the kids will love mom dancing with them.

    3. And yes it is hard but find the time. Often I sacrifice my sleep time to exercise. Either getting up early or going to bed late.

    4. Food: Protein good...don't worry about going over MFP levels. Fruits/veggies/protein.