My big obese life
itsnoterrible
Posts: 5
This will be lengthy so if your not into reading.... oh well lol. My name is Larry and I'm obese Those are words I've never said... I never wanted to say them in the past, but the more I get older the more I realize that yup I'm not staying the same I'm getting heavier and just getting used to it.
A quick background on myself, I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 12, depression and severe social anxiety when I was 16. Recently I was told by my psychologist and my cognitive psychologist who talk to one another frequently that they see signs of aspergers syndrome. So to say the least lol I have an uphill battle as it is.
Today I realized it.... that I was obese and **** it has caused me to not be able to do SOO many things which in tern would attribute to my depression and anxiety. My family, myself and my girlfriend are going to Florida in April and I looked at my girlfriend and exposed my feelings as I never have. I said "am I going to be able to fit into an airplane seat?" The issue I have is that no one and I mean NO one believes how much I weigh. I'm 6'2 have size 16 shoes and have always been a big dude, played football in high school went to college but that didn't last (social anxiety) worked for a prestigious auto manufacture for 13 years and have always had that intimidating look. Back to the point so I'm 6'1 and 480lbs, hell my doctor says that I look 350-375 ish and didn't believe the scale. But I think that is part of the problem is that I don't look my weight but over the last 6 months or so I have felt it, lagy, achy, out of breath etc etc. What sucks is that I look back on my life and think of how many things I wasn't able to do because of my weight. I love roller coasters but haven't been able to go to an amusement park since just after high school. I love the outdoors, sports, shopping and skiing but I haven't done any of that for over 10 years.
I look back and say is eating and not exercising really worth my happiness... obviously it was.
I know I'm capable but I think its mental now, I think I physically cant do stressful things, thinking I will hurt more etc.
I do intend to talk with my psychologist tomorrow for my bi weekly appointment.
I wanted to vent and ask if and what other obese people have done to start the process, to (what it seems to me) start your life over in a more positive way.
Thank you for listening
Larry
A quick background on myself, I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 12, depression and severe social anxiety when I was 16. Recently I was told by my psychologist and my cognitive psychologist who talk to one another frequently that they see signs of aspergers syndrome. So to say the least lol I have an uphill battle as it is.
Today I realized it.... that I was obese and **** it has caused me to not be able to do SOO many things which in tern would attribute to my depression and anxiety. My family, myself and my girlfriend are going to Florida in April and I looked at my girlfriend and exposed my feelings as I never have. I said "am I going to be able to fit into an airplane seat?" The issue I have is that no one and I mean NO one believes how much I weigh. I'm 6'2 have size 16 shoes and have always been a big dude, played football in high school went to college but that didn't last (social anxiety) worked for a prestigious auto manufacture for 13 years and have always had that intimidating look. Back to the point so I'm 6'1 and 480lbs, hell my doctor says that I look 350-375 ish and didn't believe the scale. But I think that is part of the problem is that I don't look my weight but over the last 6 months or so I have felt it, lagy, achy, out of breath etc etc. What sucks is that I look back on my life and think of how many things I wasn't able to do because of my weight. I love roller coasters but haven't been able to go to an amusement park since just after high school. I love the outdoors, sports, shopping and skiing but I haven't done any of that for over 10 years.
I look back and say is eating and not exercising really worth my happiness... obviously it was.
I know I'm capable but I think its mental now, I think I physically cant do stressful things, thinking I will hurt more etc.
I do intend to talk with my psychologist tomorrow for my bi weekly appointment.
I wanted to vent and ask if and what other obese people have done to start the process, to (what it seems to me) start your life over in a more positive way.
Thank you for listening
Larry
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Replies
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Wow good for you! You may have a few challenges to face on this journey but then don't we all? I'm new here too. Good luck to you and I hope to see more posts from you! :-) Feel free to add me if you're looking for friends on here.0
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Good Job Man!!!...you have taken the first steps to doing something to improve yourself. For me it was logging everything and scaring myself at just how much I was eating everyday. Feel free to add me...my diary is open and maybe a look will help you.0
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Hi there, thank you for the kink words and support. I know its going to be tough, but in my mind not impossible. I've already conquered the worlds worst habit. I quit smoking 5 months ago which at first was difficult but as the time goes on it gets easier and easier to leave that in the past.
The most difficult thing I see right now is trying to find recipes that list the nutritional data so I can track myself.
The interesting thing with this website (and I've never used something like this) is that I can look at what I used to eat and see where the sugars, calories etc come from.
I added you and thank you for the support
Hope to make more posts and blog posts
LarryWow good for you! You may have a few challenges to face on this journey but then don't we all? I'm new here too. Good luck to you and I hope to see more posts from you! :-) Feel free to add me if you're looking for friends on here.0 -
Good for you! Admitting that you want a change is a great first step. This plan really works (as it's really about lifestyle change overall). Hang in there, come the message boards a lot for encouragement, etc. and I KNOW you can do it!0
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Try the Hairy Dieters cookbook (you can find it on Amazon. It's got good, hearty meals you can make with all of the nutritional info
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I was thinking that last night, looking at what we ate and looking at info at things we ate in the past and just though "omg" thats a lot of calories.
Yes it does scare you to think a bag of potato chips is 2000 calories and that's not through the whole day.
I'll def add you and thank you
Larry
ps how do I open up my blog etc?
I think it said that default is locked?Good Job Man!!!...you have taken the first steps to doing something to improve yourself. For me it was logging everything and scaring myself at just how much I was eating everyday. Feel free to add me...my diary is open and maybe a look will help you.0 -
Thank you
I realized that just finally admitting is is the hardest part. I think I'm just ready to do this. For years I didn't like smoking but I wasn't ready to quit, when I was ready it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
I will def look that book up
Thanks,
LarryGood for you! Admitting that you want a change is a great first step. This plan really works (as it's really about lifestyle change overall). Hang in there, come the message boards a lot for encouragement, etc. and I KNOW you can do it!0 -
Welcome and best wishes.
Logging is the key for me, too. It's unbelievable how fast calories add up!
At this point, I'm not a stickler for accuracy. If I have beef stew for dinner and I don't want to take the time to input the whole recipe and figure out the exact calorie count, I just do a search for beef stew, get an idea of the average calorie count by clicking on several choices, then I pick the one that is closest.
You don't have to have absolutely accurate counts at this stage of changing your diet, either. Don't make things too hard on yourself.0 -
Hi and welcome to MFP. I'm only new here myself, but have found it very useful. Do you know there's a recipe calorie calculator on here? You can just input the ingredients of your recipes, say how many servings it makes and then it will tell you how many calories you are eating. Go to the food tab, then click to make an entry, then click on the recipes tab. Look in the right column for the recipe calculator.
Otherwise, any "light cooking" or diet cookbook will probably tell you the calorie count for a recipe, along with lots of web blogs out there about healthy eating.
Good luck with it!0 -
One day at a time Larry, and the best of luck to you. I think you are going to be ok in the end - you've taken the first big step now.0
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Welcome to your new improved life!!! I too sat and watched the world go by as I got bigger and bigger. I finally took my life back & life is so much better. First of all look at the things you do have- family, girlfriend and your still breathing. We tend to look at all the things we don't have or can't do. Let's tackle each thing: airplanes: unfortunately the seats get smaller so that company's can fit more people on a flight. The average seat width is 17-18 inches. I purchased my own seatbelt extender on line (around $50) so that I did not have to ask for one. Trust me my *kitten* was probably alot wider than yours. I was 350lb and 5'3!!!!!! In Nov 2011 I went to Vegas after losing 88lbs and had no problem even on the smaller planes. Roller coaster/rides: again unfortunately these rides are manufactured for average sized people. You my friend-are a big/tall guy anyhow. It's not the end of the word. I used to cry about the rollercoasters but even though I have lost 100+ pounds and can easily fit- I still have not been to an amusement park-so many more exciting things in this world to do!!!! Start putting together a bucket list of things you have NEVER done and give yourself new goals!!!! Good luck!! "Never give up on something you think about every day!!"0
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You have taken the 1st step towards changing your life. I know with my own mental health, I have noticed a great improvement in how I feel compared to a year ago. Tried anti-depressants and gained weight from them, therefore causing more positive feelings (yeah, right). The first thing you need to do is start logging everything that passes your lips in either food or drink. It will be cumbersome at first but it will get easier. It was a big enlightenment for me. I'm still surprised at the nutritional content of things that I though before were healthy. I also had to pay more attention to portion sizes. I love food and the cals/fat add up quickly. Cooking everything at home and planning makes staying within your nutritional goals much easier. I found a wonderful website, skinnytaste.com , that has healthier alternatives to most recipes and some really great tasting new ones. You have taken a huge step in the next phase of your life. Congratulations on your new begining and good luck to you!0
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Good for you- admitting your issues are the first step!
I have a nephew iwth Asperger's, so I understand how challenging that can be- but embrace it as a part of you and live with it! See it as an explanation of your quirkiness and learn how to deal with situations in your own way!
Most Aspy's I know tend to have a bit of OCD mixed up in there too- use that to your advantage with your weight loss- calorie counting, exercise planning- a little OCD can help!
Feel free to add me if you want, I cna always use more friends!!!!0 -
GREAT JOB, Larry! Kudos to you for acknowledging that you are, in fact, "obese" and admitting that you want/need help to change! That first step is paramount! You *CAN* do this! You've got a support network with your family and your girlfriend- which is awesome and more than a lot of other people have. Just realize that this is a process and it takes time; you won't see results overnight and some times it will be hard not to get discouraged- but just keep putting one foot in front of the other. My mantra is: "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!" (a'la "Finding Nemo"). I used to weigh 260# in 2001 and now way 162# and there are many other examples of success stories on this site which you can look forward to for motivation. Keep your head up! You're on the right path :flowerforyou:0
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Most of the time it is some sort of realization as you have had and then finally something clicks. You just start doing it. Please friend me if you like.0
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Good luck on your weightloss, it's scary in the beginning but then it gets addicting. You won't believe how much better you feel just changing your diet and taking off a couple of pounds.
I hope you post here often, look forward to your progress. 0 -
Hey Larry! Keep your chin up buddy, you can do this! In March of 2011 I was 436 pounds, and was very depressed and suffering from sleep apnea and pre-diabetes. I finally decided that I was going to do it, and I hired a personal trainer for the first month (saw her once a week, it wasn't that bad, under $200). I really had to make the mental switch though, to really commit to making the changes in my life. I also had to surround myself with people who were supportive. Those friends that would go out drinking and hitting fast food places all the time see less of me now than before, because I won't put myself in those situations.
i've lost a 166 pounds and am down to 270 now, and am loving life. I know what you mean about the amusement park, and this past summer I went on the waterslides with my kids for the first time in like 15 years. My sleep apnea is almost non-existant and I am no longer pre-diabetic.
You CAN do this. Making the commitment and putting in the work is the hardest part, but after awhile it becomes your lifestyle, and once it starts feeling good, there's no looking back.
I believe in you. Your friends here on MFP believe in you. Now just believe in yourself and get started on a new you! :bigsmile:0 -
I was thinking that last night, looking at what we ate and looking at info at things we ate in the past and just though "omg" thats a lot of calories.
Yes it does scare you to think a bag of potato chips is 2000 calories and that's not through the whole day.
I'll def add you and thank you
Larry
ps how do I open up my blog etc?
I think it said that default is locked?
Click on "My Home" at the top, then the "Settings" tab in the blue bar (not the settings link by the logout) and go to "Diary Settings" to make your diary public. For your blog privacy, go to "My Blog" tab in the blue bar and on the right there is a link called "Preferences" where you can set who sees your blog.0 -
Well Congratz on your new and improved way of life. You have already taken several steps in working towards your goal. I myself just started using this program and have also been shocked looking back at my eating/exercise habits. I have not lost much but hopefully will get to my goal soon. When I read that you stoped smoking and how long it has been has motivated me to stop. I have been trying but now i have to make it a point to stop completely. Keep up with the program and you will see it actually works.0
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Friend me if you want. We can work through this journey together. Congrats0
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Wishing you the best with this new journey. Everytime you think "What the Heck"........whip out your phone and look up the nutrition value of a hamburger....etc....and then decide "Is it worth it" .... as the doctor stated other night on Biggest Loser.....if you were diagnosed with a serious disease.....you would do whatever it took to take care of your illness.....even if it took two hours out of your day....you can do this! Good Luck!0
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Wow I didn't realize I'd get this many kind and wonderful relplies but I can tell keeping up with this website and my food progress is going to help with so many that want to help others.
I want to reply to all but opening sending and closing then reopening the message is a pain lol so I''m going to do the twitter thing and use @username to reply
@KenosFeoh - I totally agree, its kinda weird to look at something you have ate your whole life and then investigate it and say "dam thats got a lot of" insert lots of calories here. I do realize at this point being dead accurate is not as important as just making better choices
@Showmm - Thanks for the tip with recipe calorie counter
@orangelobster - When I take a step back and look, yes its mindful to remember one day at a time. As much as I'd love to drop 100lbs in a week I do have to remember I didn't get this way overnight either
@punkin66 - I totally hear you on watching the world go by, so many things you see people do and I WANT to do them too.
Thank you for understanding the airplane/amusement park rides. Even when I was a healthy 5'11 215lbs It was still a tight fit but I knew it was because of my frame and not my huge butt lol.
@bpwparents - My mom who is in the mental health field had said the same, that loosing weight helps with the mental aspect and with the mental part you really cant control. I know some of my new meds haven't helped with weight loss but that's just something I need to get over as they are meds that I really do need.
@carriem73 - lol ocd is a big part for me, but maybe if I continue to do things like cook right and get out more it will become an odc
@geminjai - I think reading other success stories will help as well, kinda will give me a light at the end of the tunnel feeling
HA! and I LOVE swimming!
@tekwriter - Totally agree, even if someone wants to do something, if they are not ready it just wont happen yet.
@fusion777 - Thanks for the encouraging words It always does feel great to shed a few and realize weight loss isn't rock science
Please excuse if I have spelled anyone's scree name incorrectly lol I think I need to clean my glasses.
Thank you all again for the encouragement and I will keep up on replying to everyone replies.
Thanks again
Larry0 -
i hear ya larry i to have bipolar and feel like a huge outcast sometimes and i to am obese i have neve said this until i read ur post i have always said i'm fat till i read ur post and it gve me the confidence to say i am obese so i thank u feel free to add me if u wish or i could jus send u a friend request0
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Hey Larry...
Yes you do have an uphill battle...but I think it's awesome that you found MFP because you will meet a whole lot of understanding and supportive people. I understand wholeheartedly the feeling of not doing the things that you used to enjoy doing because of being so overweight. You can totally do this and get your weight down before your Florida trip. I'm excited for you! You're gonna feel like a new man! Good luck and feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like! 0 -
Welcome to the family!! I've been where you are too. At my heaviest I was 450 lbs ... but like you, nobody would have guessed I was that heavy. I've lost 120 lbs so far, but it's taken me 5 years of losing and gaining and losing again ... so I've actually lost FAR more weight than that.
I'm getting older and I'm tired of feeling older. I'm almost 50, my mind feels 30 but my body feels 90. I get frustrated at how many things I "should" be able to do that I can't because of my weight.
Just take it one day at a time. Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you make along the way, don't try to lose it too fast or change how you eat too drastically. Make small changes every day. This is a lifestyle change ... trust me, you don't want to ever have to lose this weight again!!
You've got a lot of support here. Use it. Read a lot, take a lot with a grain of salt, but most imporantly find out what works for you, your body and your lifestyle. You can do it!!0 -
http://www.gainsthroughloss.com/p/about-me.html#!/p/about-me.html Just read this the other day. Talking to him couldn't hurt. At very least, read his blogs. They are pretty inspiring. Best of luck to you.0
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Hey ! Its great you wanna change your lifestyle .
I know that depression , anxiety and obesity sometimes go hand in hand. When you are heavy you have no will to go out and spend your energy. The less you do, more tired you get , the less u wanna do ,more are troubles in our minds.
If you quit smoking , you will be able to do this too ! Good luck !0 -
Welcome! Congrats on taking the first step. You sound really motivated, and you can definitely do this! If you haven't already, please check out Ed's story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/626293-3-yr-anniversary-307-lbs-lost-picture-heavy0
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~applause~
You took the first step and that's huge, now you've got to get momentum going.
Tracking what you're eating and seeing the numbers can be a real shock but it gives you a darn good base to work from.
I'm a good half food shorter than you and started at 410. Eating was relatively easy to get under control, but exercise... there was another story. But it's like the eating, you start small and keep trying to do more and more, in the end you'll find you can do so much more than you ever thought you could. Somehow we manage to convince ourselves that fat means weak, it doesn't, it just means that we're scared.
I'm doing things slowly, but if you want another friend, you're welcome to add me.0 -
I let stress and anxiety, and million other things keep me from being healthy, so I know where you're coming from.
Remember that it's not a race, and you want to change things forever. I kept stressing myself at first, thinking I wasn't losing fast enough, and certainly not as fast as others I see on the success stories board, but so what? As long as I was still doing the right things, it would come, and I had the rest of my life to figure out how to keep myself there when I got there. I've not been perfect, not by any means, but I picked myself up and got right back to it. THAT is the key to success.
You can do this.0
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