Do we marry within our socio-economic class?

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Replies

  • wrotruck
    wrotruck Posts: 72 Member
    Personally, I married for love. There is an economic gap between our families but its never been an issue for us because we have vary similar values. goals and ambitions.

    For the record, I am nothing like her father and she is nothing like my mother.
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
    Eh my husband an I came from different classes/background.

    My husband's dad was military. He has 2 brothers and 1 sister. His family REALLY struggled while he was young and my husband went on to join the military to better himself.

    My dad was never educated, my mother a teacher. We were probably upper-middle class. We didnt have everything we wanted but most of the time.

    My husband and I met when he was home on leave and me home from college. He was attractived to me bc I was a girl doing something with her life (unlike the girls he met or dated before). I adored him because he was determined (and sexy!)

    We married. I have a 4 year degree, he has a AA degree working on his BA. We didn't start out the same in life.... but we have alot in common other than our background.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    I can understand the idea of staying within the same class level. I, on the other hand, met and am now engaged to some one who grew up in poverty. I have always been in the upper middle class, and to me the idea of being with someone who never knew the luxuries I did fascinated and thrilled me. Two years later, we find it difficult to agree on any financial basis. While he is frugal and almost money hungry in a sense, I grew up with the idea that money was easy to find and easier to spend. His social class has given him this idea that he doesn't belong above a certain level, that ambitions are not wise. It is very interesting to see. Irregardless, he is a wonderful person, and I don't care if he grew up in Beverly Hills or slums in Mexico.

    While I would be honored to be half the woman his mother is, he is nothing like my demeaning, arrogant prick of a father.
  • mgmlap
    mgmlap Posts: 1,377 Member
    We have the same familiy background..but the difference is I went to college..and he didnt. I worked in IT and he was in the mailroom..What brought us together was family values....Now....he barely makes $12/hr..and I am in the six figures..doesnt matter because we still have our beliefs...that will never change...its a God thing...
  • anneerick
    anneerick Posts: 147 Member
    I believe you are wrong.

    I second this belief.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I majored in economics and minored in psych. I took some courses that directly discussed this more than once.

    It doesn't matter what you think or believe, the research suggests that most people die in the socio-economic life style they were born into. Very, very few are an exception to this. So, most of you are right in that, your social world involves people like you. That's who you meet and that's who you become.
  • Ivian_
    Ivian_ Posts: 276 Member
    You marry who you love or all fails.

    We aren't in a caste system and I find the notion that we might be, revolting.

    :heart: Amen!
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    I can't speak for everyone else, but this is not the case with me. My dad made/makes a crapton of money (though I never got a dime of it growing up, lol) but my husband grew up embarrassingly poor. We are now solid middle-class, and happy with that.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    I think there are a lot of factors that go into our attractions. I grew up with the silver spoon, my sister is married to a multi-millionaire...they live in different states..yeah. I on the other hand chose happiness over money...sometimes I have neither. And I'd have to say I will not marry again anyway...but no, I tend to find men in my own se class to be stuck up jerks, not all, but enough to make me not even look....and so I'm dating a construction worker. I support myself and my kids on my own and live paycheck to paycheck. I've had men try and impress me with money and try and tempt me with trips..but if I'm not attracted, I'm not attracted. I've always kinda thought my sister sold herself to the highest bidder, she didn't of course..but why stay married if you don't want to live in the same state?
  • mtaylor33557
    mtaylor33557 Posts: 542 Member
    Some light reading:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_class_in_the_United_States

    This is good. Thanks! I am still reading...

    This surprises me... especially that chart on household incomes. It has us in the top 20% but we sure don't FEEL like that!
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
    I grew up poor and in a "lower class'. I really had no idea I was any different than anyone else.

    I married someone who grew up wealthy. He really had no idea he was loaded.

    My mother-in-law hated me and would have nothing to do with our kids.

    I now have my masters and he works in radio. We are good ole' middle class.

    I think you love who you love. Class is a sad remnant of judgmental attitudes of someone who is born in a uterus that was is more fortunate than someone else.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    both my parents were teachers. My sister and I (out of 9 children) are the only 2 who became teachers. my dad was also a farmer, insurance sales man, and in the army. 2 of my siblings went into agriculture, 1 into massage, 1 a professional student, 1 owns care homes, 1 is a nurse practician, 1 was a dancer/instructor... I am marrying a neurologist.

    You cannot let your past determine your future or you're sunk.
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    i think it depends upon the social circles in which you mix. you meet who you meet!

    and about marrying someone like your dad- not true in my case. my hubby couldn't be more dissimilar.
  • ginavmills
    ginavmills Posts: 4
    I did a paper on this in college...if you do, you tend to have less strain in the relationship, as you each know where the other is coming from....but obviously this doesn't always happen....and couples can make it work, they just may need to work at it a little bit more.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    HE LL NO!
    ha ha
    nothing like my father,
    wow, that is CRAZY!
    ha ha,, now that is rather amusing..
    ha ha
  • caldon4523
    caldon4523 Posts: 227 Member
    Everyone is different and situations where people meet are different. An important consideration is your intellectual and socio-economic standing. Intelligent people gravitate toward their own and vice versa, lower class gravitate toward lower class, etc. However, one can make an individual concerted effort to break away from their own class. My mother came from a higher social class structure but she lived in Mexico. Her father was a strong, domineering individual who was very strict and showed little love and affection. She married a poor and meek dirt farmer from Texas, a man totally different from her father. They raised three children and lived happily together for over 25 years before they passed away 6 months apart. Bottom line, you decide what you want out of life unless you acquiesce and let society dictate your life.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    They say the best way to be rich is be born to rich parents.

    Poverty and wealth are often self-perpetuating.

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