Blonde Jokes

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.

She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out.

The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

I love blonde jokes. My blonde daughter does too. :bigsmile:

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from re-possessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull from*a stockyard in a far-away town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable."
The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly...
com-for-da-bull."

Y DID THE BLONDE SAY HI TO A PIG? CUZ SHE LIKES BACON LOLOLOLOOZ

Two blondes walk into a bar, the brunette ducks.

LOL...good one!

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

The clerk asks, "What denomination?"

The blonde says, "God help us!" Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran, and 22 Baptist."

At least she got the math right

A blonde walks into a chemist and asks for some rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist explains to the woman that they don't sell it.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this chemist on a regular basis for years and would like some more.
"Do you have the container it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"Yes," said the blonde and she hands it to him.
He looks at it and says, "this is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

this saddens me, i am a dyed blonde,,, and your hurting my feelings..

*SNORT*

*you're

this saddens me, i am a dyed blonde,,, and your hurting my feelings..

i could tell...

it's "you're", not "your".

:bigsmile:

Y DID THE BLONDE SAY HI TO A PIG? CUZ SHE LIKES BACON LOLOLOLOOZ

lol i get it !!! i love bacon jokes they are fun and SNARKY !!! lol

Know why there are so many blonde jokes?

It gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday night....

Ouch, we are no longer friends on the forums. Yes we were friends, now we are not *pouts*