Body image

NikkiDerrig386
NikkiDerrig386 Posts: 1,096 Member
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
So I have to vent a bit. For a couple of months I have noticed a double standard between big girls vs. smaller girls. On two separate occasions I have been put down by big girls , regarding my body. One occasion I have been called too skinny and that my butt is flat. Two, (last night) I was told that I am an A cup, bc I am too skinny. (Men this may come off weird to you but being called too skinny or flat in girl world is not a compliment.) Also, now that I think about, has been more than two occasions. So let me just say, I am not "skinny" esp for my height. I am 125 (which is 20lbs above average which is BS because I am not over weight), 5'1, Hispanic, C cup, and I have more legs than torso; which makes my stomach look a bit bigger than it is. So I am not skinny at all. I have an athletic build and if I gain lbs it goes right to my mid section. So I work my but off and I get scorned. I am a mixed race and its so crazy when it comes to body image. To white woman and men I am too thick but to Hispanic and black men and women (I am not black) I am too thin!
Where does it end?? When will the obsession of body image come to an understanding or something........

With that said, why is it ok to comment about smaller girls body types but if you even mention weight to a bigger girl its considered insensitive?

Body image in general I think is making US woman insane...... How many movies say that "skinny B****" or make fun of fat people by putting them in fat-suits................... Like I said I am venting. I am just so sick of body image in general. If your health is great skinny or a bit thicker than who cares!!!! If you feel great with your body then go on with you bad self!!!

Replies

  • Alita2011
    Alita2011 Posts: 265 Member
    Speak it....I def agree with you but for some reason that's just what happens. Most times its not the men doing the "talk" it is just women with their negativity!
  • karleen
    karleen Posts: 260
    i think if anything its jealousy coming from the bigger girls.

    i have friends who tell me im too skinny now and to stop losing weight, and i JUST broke out of the 'overweight' category and into the normal bmi standard.

    the girls who tell me to stop are probably 50 pounds heavier than me.
  • Margarette
    Margarette Posts: 69 Member
    I 100% agree with you. i have been put down by my own family for being too skinny and we are all causcasion (well italian - some don't consider this white). But if you say hey you should lose weight for your health you will get a beatdown. I was told specifically that I wasn't attractive cause I am too skinny. Or that I am all my bust and butt. (in not so nice terms).

    So it seems no matter what those who are gonna judge will judge no matter what you look like. (NOTE: these same people have told me that I was getting heavy the second I started gaining weight). By the way, I think you are absolutely beautiful so dont listen to them!
  • jolene1
    jolene1 Posts: 28
    wow that's a mouth full......and it's okay to vent.
    What I have found is....people that make fun of who you are lack what you have. They are jealous. To make themselves feel better it's easier to put someone else down. You're doing the right thing by being here and caring about who you are. It saddens me people treat others this way. This world is so materialistic. Thank you for being you and keep up the great work. Be happy for who you are and people will see what a wonderful person you are!!! =) Jolene
  • NikkiDerrig386
    NikkiDerrig386 Posts: 1,096 Member
    Thanx for understanding lol and the compliments :)

    lol I know it was a mouth full. hehe sorry
  • ymhand
    ymhand Posts: 188
    i dont think your body image should be anyone elses concern but yours and they surely shouldn't comment on it unless it's something you are discussing with them. when they do feel a need to comment, you got to think what is this person's motivation for telling me this, is it to bring me up or put me down? and why do they feel the need, really to do either. it's usually another person's issue when they feel the need to make a person feel anything but good about themselves , so hopefully you disregard all the negative feed people give you , stay postive and we all have insecurities some are just more obvious about their's, some let it bring them down, some choose to bring others down, and some just work their butts off getting to the best they feel they can be!
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    Yeah there really are some catty women out there (and thanks soooo much to whoever posted it really is more often women than men.....), but at the end of the day you're the one who has to look yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you have....and know that you look good :smile:
  • bellinachuchina
    bellinachuchina Posts: 498 Member
    Whew, can I relate! I get the "you're too skinny" now and I'm still not used to it, but it irritates me! My bigger friends all say it & when making reference to their own size & their weight aspirations they make it a pont to say "I want to lose some weight but I don't want to be as skinny as you". You wish.

    In my family, also Italians, they want you to be shapely but not sloppy looking, just healthy, not bony. As a teen I averaged about 160-175lbs, and my Nana always would tell me "10lbs. and you'll be perfect". I'm now 135lbs. and for the first time in my entire life, she told me "don't lose more weight". That was crazy to me! lol To my Husband's family, which is Black, "thickness" is praised and the skinny people in his family get made fun of. So either way I can't win! When I was huge, I was too big for my family, and now that I'm smaller, my family is telling me to stop, like there is something wrong with me? My in-laws won't be directly mean about my size, but they'll make comments like, "you better not lose more weight or you're going to blow away!".

    So, losing weight can be quite the double-edged sword. Can't please anybody, so here's what you do, DON'T! Lose weight, get fit, whatever, for you and you only! The goal is for you to be happy with your body image :)
  • greeneyes82
    greeneyes82 Posts: 315 Member
    Yeah, I know the feeling! :explode: I went into Subway a few weeks ago to pick up some lunch for my husband & I. There were 5 rather large people standing in line. They kept making jokes about how skinny I was! :angry: The worst part was one man was the worst one! He said one of his legs was the size of me. It made me feel really awkward & I didn't say one word to them! I'm Native American, so I've been told a lot that I'm getting too skinny. I'm told almost everyday if I lose anymore weight, I'm going to blow away or wither away to nothing! It's crazy! Now, when people tell me I need to stop losing, I just tell them I will stop when I'm ready to!:wink:
  • Jovialation
    Jovialation Posts: 7,632 Member
    the only time I think a girl is too skinny is when her thighs are smaller than my wrist....or when her ribs stick out more than her boobs.

    honestly I know a lot of really pretty girls that could be called "too skinny" by some and a lot of really pretty girls that would be considered fat by most.

    When Ive gone out at the weight Im at now in skirts or shorts Ive gotten plenty of comments from hispanic and black men that involve my butt or my legs in some combination with the word "big". As sexy as they may think the "big legged girl" is, I dont want to be that girl.

    So I think its all a matter of body image and restraint. Some people (and Im in no way racist, just what Ive noticed) are far more incline to comment on a womans body based on her size and race. I hate to say it but yes, a white girl (and some of the men) are more likely to comment on a woman of another race and call her too fat, while a white girl with the same build as the woman being commented on would be called too skinny. Meanwhile black and hispanic men seem to love to just make comments on bigger girls from my experience.

    So yes, your body image may change how you perceive these comments, but I think its more an issue of how utterly BOLD some men and women are about making comments.

    Personally, Urban, I think you have an absolutely gorgeous face and thats what anyone who looks at you should really notice first. Besides the fact that Im lucky and most of my friends judge purely on personality & try to get to know people before judging them. I think more people should try it.
    (still, it is fun to make fun of people from afar....Im anti-trend so I sometimes laugh at girls who follow the trends when the trends seem silly to me, but Im still friends with trendy gals)


    sorry, i babbled.
  • jessicajoy87
    jessicajoy87 Posts: 905
    People need to mind their own buisness and worry about themselves. I hate it when people get into my buisness and think they have the right to say something but really they don't. I feel ya!
  • MariSama44
    MariSama44 Posts: 340 Member
    To be honest I've never really liked skinny girls in general, be it out of jealousy or just contempt. I dont like hearing someone who's 120 pounds talk about how they're so fat in front of me. I'm twice her weight and how is that supposed to make ME feel? if she's so fat then what am I? A freak of nature? So fat and ugly that I might as well not try to fit in with a society that shuns me for how I look? Those are the girls that get on my nerves. And growing up in school both girls and boys were out to make me feel bad for being a different shape. Some girls like me have years of abuse behind them because of it. Maybe some fat girls discourage people who are trying to become healthy because of shallow reasons too, but we're all human. Not that I would ever put down someone who was trying to truely be healthy (and not shallow fishing for compliments or attention), and nor would I ever discourage a friend of mine, no matter their size. But all I'm saying is I have a strong aversion to shallow superficial skinny women because of how I was treated in school, etc.
  • ymhand
    ymhand Posts: 188
    that's a funny one. i too have been around smaller size people who felt it necessary to comment on their weight in front of obviously bigger size me and i say exactly that..."if your fat at 120 what am i ?" they usually say well your tall and you carry it well. okay whatever you just stuck your foot in your mouth didn't ya! It is what it is but, you know.......skinny girls can have the same mental state as a fat girl, seeing herself as ugly and fat it's not always a person being shallow or fishing they really do have the same problems be it hard for others to understand when you see just the shell of a person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
  • angelwings2000
    angelwings2000 Posts: 357 Member
    But, in defense of 120 pound women........... at just five feet tall, 120 pounds is right smack in the middle of healthy range. I have come from a BMI of Obese to finally hit the range of healthy, with six more pounds to go hit my goal weight.
    I got in fight not too long ago on facebook with a woman I didn't know for just saying that gravity wasn't taking too much of a toll on my breasts as I near fifty. She made a catty remark about me being flat. None of her businesss, but I had to let her know that I (as well as my guy) was happy with my C cup. She responded that guys just say that to make their flat women feel good.
    I wanted to scream!!! :mad:
    We have to be happy as wella s healthy where we are. I will always be curvy. I have once been under 100 pounds, which still falls under the healthy BMI for my size and I don't want to be there.
    Curvy girls rock.
    Skinny girls are beautiful.
    & Big girls are gorgeous!!
    :flowerforyou:
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