Ramble - I think I've discovered my self destruct pattern

NakeshiaB
NakeshiaB Posts: 250 Member
edited January 11 in Motivation and Support
This is just a bit of a ramble for my own good, I'm not sure how to create a blog and just need to get this down before I forget it all.

I think I've discovered my self destruction pattern. \ I start off with good intentions, I plan out an exercise schedule, write down foods to avoid and give it my all for a while. I usually start a plan on the 1st of the month, or on a Monday, this is due to my slight anal retentiveness, I like things to begin on a new week or month. Everything goes great for a while, I eat well, exercise according to my schedule, sometimes even give it more and I feel great. There is no real time frame for how this lasts, it can be from as little as a few days to a couple of months, then...

Life gets in the way. I get busy at work, get run down from stress and after a few days feel burnt out. My routine slacks off, I eat whenever/whatever I can fit in and rather than pushing a decent workout, I will slack off and just go for an easy walk. After a couple of weeks of this I'm unfit again. I'll try a run and can barely manage a minute or two and get so disheartened and frustrated that I almost cry. I'm currently in this phase. Rock bottom hits hard and then I start all over again... This cycle represents many aspects of my life, including diet, fitness, and dealing with depression/anxiety.

Now I've always been told the first step to fixing a problem is recognising it. So, I just need to figure out how to fix this vicious cycle. I don't know what is next from here, how I will stop myself going through this once again, I don't want to start only to give up. Any advice would be great but I'm afraid I may not take it to heart.

I'm sure I've come along way since starting on MFP, the support and advice has been invaluable. But at times I feel I've come in a big roundabout circle and not learned a thing. Right now I'm a little lost, confused, and scared that I don't find myself worth enough of changing for the better.

Replies

  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    To break the cycle you need to learn not to rely on motivation. Motivation waxes and wanes. To truly change, you need to set up a pattern of commitment. Start with using the words, "I WILL." Even the words, "I CAN" are weak in comparison.

    Write down what you want to accomplish. Be specific and concrete.

    I will do X for X number of minutes on X days.

    Make a back up plan if you can't meet X because something came up.

    I will do X before I go to bed on those days if all else fails.

    EXPECT motivation to wane. Stick with it anyway. Develop the habit of powering through. It is like willpower--you have to practice it to get any good at it.

    If it happens though, pick up and keep trying. Giving up completely is the only true failure.

    Try to make a doable and realistic plan. Going double speed gung ho only to burn out is not a realistic plan. You can always build on what you've started once you've built up your first goal of building a habit of consistency.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    To break the cycle you need to learn not to rely on motivation. Motivation waxes and wanes. To truly change, you need to set up a pattern of commitment. Start with using the words, "I WILL." Even the words, "I CAN" are weak in comparison.

    Write down what you want to accomplish. Be specific and concrete.

    I will do X for X number of minutes on X days.

    Make a back up plan if you can't meet X because something came up.

    I will do X before I go to bed on those days if all else fails.

    EXPECT motivation to wane. Stick with it anyway. Develop the habit of powering through. It is like willpower--you have to practice it to get any good at it.

    If it happens though, pick up and keep trying. Giving up completely is the only true failure.

    P.S. Try to make a doable and realistic plan. Don't set up a schedule where you will be in the gym 2 hours a day. Make it something you can realistically abide by even in times of stress. You can always build on it once you have the consistency.

    ^ Fantastic post. Everything she said, I 100% agree with.
  • Meggles63
    Meggles63 Posts: 916 Member
    I agree...motivation is gone like the wind, sometimes. That's why I try to set goals. For example, I decided to enter a race in March, and have a training plan. Now that I have a goal, and a written path to that goal, I can find the committment I need to take me there. Sometimes just writing out your plan makes all the difference!
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
    To break the cycle you need to learn not to rely on motivation. Motivation waxes and wanes. To truly change, you need to set up a pattern of commitment. Start with using the words, "I WILL." Even the words, "I CAN" are weak in comparison.

    Write down what you want to accomplish. Be specific and concrete.

    I will do X for X number of minutes on X days.

    Make a back up plan if you can't meet X because something came up.

    I will do X before I go to bed on those days if all else fails.

    EXPECT motivation to wane. Stick with it anyway. Develop the habit of powering through. It is like willpower--you have to practice it to get any good at it.

    If it happens though, pick up and keep trying. Giving up completely is the only true failure.

    P.S. Try to make a doable and realistic plan. Don't set up a schedule where you will be in the gym 2 hours a day. Make it something you can realistically abide by even in times of stress. You can always build on it once you have the consistency.

    ^ Fantastic post. Everything she said, I 100% agree with.

    I totally agree. Make things doable, but treat those things like they are mandates. You planned a Couch to 5K workout tonight? I don't care if you're tired, you made a date with yourself to do it, so do it, even if it's colder/later/whatever than you'd like. (On a side note, that's a GREAT way to get into running - you just have to be patient with yourself and accept that repeating weeks =/= failure.) Having a workout partner who won't flake on you is a good idea, too, but we're not always that fortunate.
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
    To break the cycle you need to learn not to rely on motivation. Motivation waxes and wanes. To truly change, you need to set up a pattern of commitment. Start with using the words, "I WILL." Even the words, "I CAN" are weak in comparison.

    Write down what you want to accomplish. Be specific and concrete.

    I will do X for X number of minutes on X days.

    Make a back up plan if you can't meet X because something came up.

    I will do X before I go to bed on those days if all else fails.

    EXPECT motivation to wane. Stick with it anyway. Develop the habit of powering through. It is like willpower--you have to practice it to get any good at it.

    If it happens though, pick up and keep trying. Giving up completely is the only true failure.

    Try to make a doable and realistic plan. Going double speed gung ho only to burn out is not a realistic plan. You can always build on what you've started once you've built up your first goal of building a habit of consistency.


    I like this. I bet most of us can relate to life getting in the way of our good intentions.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,210 Member
    This is just a bit of a ramble for my own good, I'm not sure how to create a blog and just need to get this down before I forget it all.

    I think I've discovered my self destruction pattern. \ I start off with good intentions, I plan out an exercise schedule, write down foods to avoid and give it my all for a while. I usually start a plan on the 1st of the month, or on a Monday, this is due to my slight anal retentiveness, I like things to begin on a new week or month. Everything goes great for a while, I eat well, exercise according to my schedule, sometimes even give it more and I feel great. There is no real time frame for how this lasts, it can be from as little as a few days to a couple of months, then...

    Life gets in the way. I get busy at work, get run down from stress and after a few days feel burnt out. My routine slacks off, I eat whenever/whatever I can fit in and rather than pushing a decent workout, I will slack off and just go for an easy walk. After a couple of weeks of this I'm unfit again. I'll try a run and can barely manage a minute or two and get so disheartened and frustrated that I almost cry. I'm currently in this phase. Rock bottom hits hard and then I start all over again... This cycle represents many aspects of my life, including diet, fitness, and dealing with depression/anxiety.

    Now I've always been told the first step to fixing a problem is recognising it. So, I just need to figure out how to fix this vicious cycle. I don't know what is next from here, how I will stop myself going through this once again, I don't want to start only to give up. Any advice would be great but I'm afraid I may not take it to heart.

    I'm sure I've come along way since starting on MFP, the support and advice has been invaluable. But at times I feel I've come in a big roundabout circle and not learned a thing. Right now I'm a little lost, confused, and scared that I don't find myself worth enough of changing for the better.
    FEAR may be your issue since I find it common amongst dieters. Whether it's fear of failure of fear of success or fear of having to give up what you enjoy eating.
    Initially writing down a pros/cons list lets you see why you're doing this. Is it for you? Is it because of how you think you're viewed? Is it because you want to be more physically active? Try to define why you're really doing this and once you do, it will be simpler to stick to.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,628 Member
    GOODCHOICE-BADCHOICE.jpg

    It's all about choices, focus, determination, and never giving up ......

    Period.

    Best of luck to you !
  • msliu7911
    msliu7911 Posts: 638 Member
    To break the cycle you need to learn not to rely on motivation. Motivation waxes and wanes. To truly change, you need to set up a pattern of commitment. Start with using the words, "I WILL." Even the words, "I CAN" are weak in comparison.

    Write down what you want to accomplish. Be specific and concrete.

    I will do X for X number of minutes on X days.

    Make a back up plan if you can't meet X because something came up.

    I will do X before I go to bed on those days if all else fails.

    EXPECT motivation to wane. Stick with it anyway. Develop the habit of powering through. It is like willpower--you have to practice it to get any good at it.

    If it happens though, pick up and keep trying. Giving up completely is the only true failure.

    P.S. Try to make a doable and realistic plan. Don't set up a schedule where you will be in the gym 2 hours a day. Make it something you can realistically abide by even in times of stress. You can always build on it once you have the consistency.

    ^ Fantastic post. Everything she said, I 100% agree with.

    I agree, super duper fantastic lol. I am actually taking some of this and applying it for my own habits/ goals. :)
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