Self Sabatoge and sabatoging my family

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we were going on a road trip one year to California from MN, and my dad thought it was a great idea to go get Halloween candy (free!) for the trip snacks.....my brother and I were crying 'cause we wanted to go home...but my dad was like "One more neighborhood!" I got something close to 45 pounds of candy and my brother almost 50 (which is more than he weighed).

We had Halloween candy in the freezer until the next summer.....*ugh*

Mom wanted to throw it out, dad was like "No! They have to eat it! I worked too hard to get that candy!"

Every day I get praised at how beautiful my dairy is, and you know why it is? Because I do not bring junk into the house. Or if I do have the desire to eat cookies, I make the dough from scratch, real butter, real eggs, real sugar.

You do not have to buy those fried chicken patties, they come grilled too. OR you can even buy them fresh and grill them all at once and freeze them. You can batch cook sweet potatoes and quinoa too.

Come check out my healthy cooking page for ideas for yummy healthy food. It takes some time but it is totally worth it, I promise it is.

And BTW, your husband does not need a bowl of icecream after dinner. Just because he is skinny does not mean that he will not have a heart attack. This is the problem that many men that are not overweight have. They think because they do not have high body fat they can eat what ever they want, all of a sudden that clogged artery makes an appearance. Trust me, it will not hurt him to go with out it. OR, you can get one of those cuisenart frozen yogurt makers and do it yourself, that is what we do. Its fun and way cheaper than buying icecream.

Check out my page and feel free to add me if you would like to peek at my dairy. https://www.facebook.com/TheSassyGourmet


L

PS: You can not out exercise a bad diet.

I am re-thinking when I go to the store too. As of now, I usually go after work on Thursdays before I pick up the kids. It is always a mad rush. I try to sit down on Sundays and go thru all the ads and coupons so I know which store to go to that week. But I have been really slack with clipping coupons. I think Sundays should be my day where I sit and read the paper, go thru the ads, make my list and go to the store after church. I will just have the kids with me.

I find when I bring the boy with grocery shopping, I'm out the store faster. Having him with really decreases my tolerance for being able to be in public crowds.

Or I try to whine my way into having hubby do the shopping (i hate being in crowds). Plus for shopping he's better at sticking to a list than me and if he does go off list, it's less likely to be something I would eat anyway.

ARGH!!! Maybe if I see it in writing I will stop. My family consists of me, my husband, 12 year old daughter, and 18 month old son.
I have struggled with food and weight my whole life and I am beginning to see all my bad habits starting to form in my daughter. I told myself that I was going to start eating healthier and having my family eat healthier (hell, I am the one who cooks so it's my fault for what they put in their bodies). My husband can eat anything he wants and will not gain a pound (he is extremely active though). I started the "new lifestyle" at the first of the year. I made up my mind that this was the year we get everyone's eating under control, eating the right foods, maintaining an active lifestyle (heck, we live on a couple of acres so there is lots to do). I make out a grocery list every week. And every week I go above what I had on my list. I get all the WIC stuff (milk, cheese, eggs, bread, and $6 worth of fruits and veggies) and then BOOM!!! My shopping takes a drastic turn. I let my son snack on cheerios and those fish crackers. So, okay I pick those up for him. Well, my daughter sometimes takes her lunch to school. What can I pick up for her? Bologna, chips, and a fruit drink. Oh wait, she needs a snack for her lunch. Cookies. My husband likes to have a bowl of ice cream after dinner. Ok, pick up his favorite. But wait, if our daughter sees him eating ice cream she will want some too. I pick up her favorite. She has volleyball or band this week. Dinner will be late. So need something easy. McDonalds or fried chicken patty sandwiches.

I am still making all these horrible mistakes. Does anyone else struggle with this? I am drinking more water and my pop is down to 1 a day. But if you look at my food journals, I meet my calorie goals but look at what I eat. Example; I had a pulled pork sandwich and au gratin potatoes for lunch. That can't be good. I can adjust the rest of my day to meet my goal, but maybe I am not being totally honest, or I just don''t know what's in a serving size.

It's a struggle for all of us but the point is to get all that JUNK out of your house and keep it out!!!!!! no cookies, no bologna or processed meat crap. Give your daughter a PB & J sandwich over bologna sandwich (hopefully shes not allergic to nuts), on WHOLE WHEAT. also give her water instead of a juice. Yuck! If you dont have the junk in your house you wont want to eat it - and the kids ... .believe it or not, will adjust far quicker than us adults. They eat to survive mostly. I admit however i also have a 12 year old daughter and any time my son or my boyfriend wants junk, she feels she must eat it also! It is a CONSTANT battle. I have learned over the years of my boyfriend and I being together to adjust to 'some junk' being in the house for the sake of him and my son. they can eat it and never gain, but my daughter and I DREAM about a slice of pie and we are five pounds heavier the next day. I have instilled GOOD and healthy eating habits into my daughters life since she was about five years old, especially when I started noticing her 'love' for food or how much she could actually pack in. her desire to eat like a man, is becoming - in a bad way. she lost 12 pounds when she was 10 years old and she's kept it off luckily.

I know its easy to sabotage yourself but dont do it to your family. If nothing at all, change your lifestyle for your kids and for your family and youll find that when you focus on everyone else, it'll just be natural for yourself.

Also your daughter is old enough to take walks, or walk/runs and such so get her to go with you. Mine goes with me sometimes and it makes her feel so much better. oddly enough she is also in volleyball. Keep her active, and get yourself active also.

If you cant handle it, then dont have anything bad for you in the house. you WILL sabotage and you know it. switch to lean meats and veggies for a few weeks and youll see weight drop off. make sure your meat portions cooked are no larger than the palm of your hand (if you dont have a food scale).
Another good idea is to pre prepare your foods for a few days in advance. have plates ready to go for dinner or have lunches packed in containers portioned correctly so you arent tempted by eating more.

I'm not going to make any specific suggestions on food because I am not a nutritionist and everyone's body is different. BUT, I will say that probably the best thing you can do to help yourself succeed at this is to

take a deep breath

take a step back

and adjust your perspective a bit.

As someone who has lost a bunch of weight but more importantly made a LOT of internal changes, here are the things I recommend you keep in mind:

--major changes take A LOT OF TIME. You said in your post that you have dealt with these issues your whole life, so I don't think it's reasonable to expect major change in a short period of time. Compared to your whole life, 1 year is a short period of time and 1 month (which is not even how long you've been at this) is a reallllly short period of time. Yes, I understand the stakes are high but compassion and forgiveness for yourself and your "mistakes" are PARAMOUNT
--the easiest way to fail at making major changes is to attempt to make them all at once. You have a TON of things on your plate (please excuse the pun), and given how much responsibility you have, it's really important that you don't set yourself up for failure. I recommend you take some time to write out what your major goal is and then break that down into as many excruciatingly tiny goals as possible and then start with ONE. AT. A.TIME.
--be nicer to yourself in thoughts, words, and actions. If you are beating yourself up in any way ask yourself "How would I feel if ANYONE treated my family like this?" If your answer is anything but "I'd be totally fine with that" then STOP

Very well said!!!!! These changes take a long time...and can be very difficult. A lifetime of habits are not changed in one month.

Figuring out food sucks. Our eyes are overtrained for MUCH bigger portion sizes than are correct, and over time, our stomachs get used to that, so a "normal" portion seems incomprehensible. But it CAN be learned. Healthier choices CAN be made.

I love this image:




Snacks have been the easiest thing for me to change up, honestly, it just takes practice and variety.
For ice cream, try freezing a banana and then blending it in the blender for your daughter. Seriously, it is freaking delicious.
Carrot sticks or cucumber slices and hummus
Almonds and a low fat cheese stick
Rice cakes (my 12 year old son LOVES these, especially the apple cinnamon ones)
Apple slices and peanut butter or plain yogurt
Fruit and fruit smoothies
Cottage cheese with fruit
Pretzels and peanut butter



Also, I know it's hard, but just because someone likes to eat something, doesn't mean it has to be bought. Out of sight, out of mind.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

It takes time to relearn. It won't happen suddenly, but if you are noticing "after" the fact (home from the shopping") start making lists BEFORE going. Look over the list, see if you can spot the "unhealthy" choices you want to change and see what alternative versions there can be. Instead of cookies, get some flavored applesauce (no sugar added). Ice cream - look at coconut ice cream, flavored ices or even those small cups (portion control). You can have your snacks and stuff, but there are small tweaks you can do to start making things healthier.

Also, do invest in a kitchen scale - portion control of foods can help alot. Specially if you show the hubs & older child what a single portion is. I had to do that with my husband and he grossly underestimates calories on everything.

And check coupon sites - sometimes who can find some great deals on things.

Good luck and get at it, you will have a "omg" moment one day and from there it will easier.

One thing I have learned about Mommy-hood. If it looks good, tastes good and is sitting right in front of them, they will eat it.
Put a plate of cookies on the table. They will eat it.
Put a plate of apple slices on the table. They will eat it.
Put a bowl of cheetos out. They will eat it.
Put a bowl of grapes out. They will eat it!
Children will eat healthy food every time if it is a ready available choice. They will also go for the junk first, if it is a ready available choice. I will too! That's why I only buy it in very limited quantities now.
Quit buying crap. Period. Then you won't eat it too. Start buying healthy alternatives and get everyone in your family on healthy habits. On the weekend mornings I set out a plate full of fresh, clean, ready to eat fruit and veggies. Sometimes pita bread wedges, whatever, mix it up some. I invite everyone to eat from it, even random neighborhood kids. That plate is always cleaned out by the end of the day. Another bonus, you won't be interrupted all day long by hungry kids wanting a snack.

Hello there!

I read what you wrote and I think I might tell you how things were in my family home when I was growing up. I grew up with a very healthy diet, it is only now that I am a bit chubby, but I have a lot to thank my parents for, if it wasn't for my diet as a child I am sure I would be massive now a days and struggling really hard to adapt to healthy food. So if it work for your motivation for me to say this it would be great.
For my school snack I usually had carrot sticks and fruit. Having them in funny shapes and putting them in a nice colourful container helps a lot, kids love colourful things, they are pretty and encourages them to go with the healthy choice. For lunch usually sandwiches will do, a preference for home made is a good idea as well.
Fruit salads make amazing deserts and they can be mixed with ice cream, like this you will have less ice cream and plenty of healthy fruit. It is a great idea specially if your kids have friends over.
I am in favour of home cooked all the way. Even if its sweets, it is amazing how satiated I feel after baking cookies, and that is a common feeling for many. I end up eating much less than I would if I had bought them, and I know all that goes in it.
Another great thing is the slow cooker, with that you can easily make big meals that will last you a while with almost no effort, just chuck everything in the slow cooker and let it o its work while you are doing something else. Most meats used for slow cooking are the cheapest cuts you can possibly find, so it's great for those in a budget.
Salads can be delicious and easy to get to kids if its not only leaves, I find it is usually more enticing to have a very colourful plate full of peppers, tomatoes, cucumber and you can even add little bits of cheese and cubes of ham or chicken.

I hope I have helped somehow. I have a lot of easy recipes that can feed a battalion, so if any of you would like to add me and we can help each other with some healthy eating tips it would be great