I need reassurance for recovery.

losingforcollege
losingforcollege Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
So ever since I was 13 I've been going through cycles of restricting, starving, binging, and purging. My weight has always remained around 140-145. Over winter break I went on a month long binge. I don't know my weight, but I know I gained. I want to lose weight again, but I'm trying to be healthy and eat around 1200 calories a day.
I want to fix my metabolism. I'm exercising too.
The problem is, I can't tell if I'm losing or not. I don't want to step on a scale until I fit into my size 7 jeans(my size 9 jeans are currently tight, but fit).

Is this worth it? I know it's a slow process, but am I right for eating 1200 calories a day? I don't know how to be normal anymore.

I've been doing this for about a week and a half.

Replies

  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    1200 calories is a good place to start, I think. You'll probably need to eat more than that, but it's o.k. to take changes one step at a time.

    Best of luck!
  • morticiamom
    morticiamom Posts: 221 Member
    What KenosFeoh said. 1200 cals is a good first step, and avoiding the scale is another good one. Keep at it.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I think its good you arent using the scale as a guide espeically if you have a history of starvation and purging. Keep up the hard work and start learning to love that beautiful body you have.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    Visit this link and read up on BMR and TDEE. That will help you figure out a healthy number of calories for you to eat. If you need to repair your metabolism, 1200 might not be enough. Going to that link and reading it and working carefully through the steps is fantastically helpful and very much worth the effort.
  • losingforcollege
    losingforcollege Posts: 6
    Thank you so much! After years of eating in such extremes, too much or too little, it's hard to tell where to even start.
    I think once my metabolism starts functioning normally again I'll increase my intake and exercise. I need to work towards consistency and health and realize that there's no quick fix.
    It's so hard. It's so tempting to slip back into my old habits, but I really need to keep healthy because I've got a difficult semester ahead of me.

    I just needed someone to tell me I was on the right track.
  • losingforcollege
    losingforcollege Posts: 6
    Thank you so much!
  • losingforcollege
    losingforcollege Posts: 6
    I'll definitely check out that link. And I agree, I need to work on loving myself before obsessing over a number on the scale. I've hated my body ever since I was in the 1st or 2nd grade.
    Thanks for all the reassurance. I'm almost in tears. I feel like I'm in this alone most of the time. I didn't expect to get so many positive responses.
    The whole time I was abusing my body I knew it was wrong and I knew exactly why it was wrong. I just felt so desperate and alone. It's great to realize I'm not alone.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I'll definitely check out that link. And I agree, I need to work on loving myself before obsessing over a number on the scale. I've hated my body ever since I was in the 1st or 2nd grade.
    Thanks for all the reassurance. I'm almost in tears. I feel like I'm in this alone most of the time. I didn't expect to get so many positive responses.
    The whole time I was abusing my body I knew it was wrong and I knew exactly why it was wrong. I just felt so desperate and alone. It's great to realize I'm not alone.

    I hope and pray that one day we can learn to have a healthy relationship with food and learn to love and respect our bodies. But I think we are off to a great start. One day at a time this cycle of abuse is very addictive, but I think we can break it. You arent alone we may be on different phases of this journey but the goal of health is the same.
  • suzely0530
    suzely0530 Posts: 150 Member
    Just be patient, it will all be worth it ! I also started at 1200 calories but found that was too little. Based on the amount I exercise, it was recommended by friends to increase my calories. I'm only brave enought to go up to 1400 but I do feel better and have been having better workouts. My diary is also open if you'd like to take a peek.

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