Should we encourage the belief?
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I never had Christmas as a child but the whole Santa claüs , tooth fairy thing seems something nice for children to have from what I've seen.
My folks didn't do the make believe stuff either. I kind of liked having a secret that no other kids knew about, but with my own kids, I went the route of fantasy.0 -
With 3 older siblings, my belief in Santa never had a chance! I feel robbed, I want my kid to experience the "magic" on Christmas, even if only for a couple years.0
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Of course, life is so hard when you get older. They should have a little time to believe in magic. It fosters the imagination.0
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Santa is real0
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No, I don't plan to lie to my children. Santa isn't a little white lie you tell them to not hurt them, it's a deliberate deception. You might think it's harmless but it's really not. All your children learn from it is that you don't always tell them the truth, they can't always trust you.
Sure, it's probably fun for them, but totally not worth it in my opinion. There are plenty of other ways to have fun with them.
I have a degree in psychology with a specialization in child and adolescent development.0 -
I never had Christmas as a child but the whole Santa claüs , tooth fairy thing seems something nice for children to have from what I've seen.
My folks didn't do the make believe stuff either. I kind of liked having a secret that no other kids knew about, but with my own kids, I went the route of fantasy.
Same for me...I always pretended to be Santa for my younger sister so she wouldn't fully miss out...I used to dig caves into the snow banks in our back yard and hide little presents for her...nothing big of course, I was just a kid...but just a little something to make her smile. I still don't let my parents forget that they denied me Santa and have told them that they are to lay off where it comes to my kiddos.0 -
We have always done Santa and the Easter Bunny and our son "knew" about the Tooth Fairy. Anyhow, the night before Easter when he was 4 he said, "What time are you hiding the eggs Mommy?" I laughed and said, "You don't think the Easter Bunny is real?" And he said, "I wish that he was." So we kind of hung onto that for the last two years for Santa. This year he has already said that he thinks it is ridiculous that a bunny would bring eggs. He is 6 1/2 now and finally lost his first two bottom teeth. Right off the bat he said he thought that the parents took the tooth and put the money under the pillow so we aren't pushing that one. He's hanging on to Santa though, so we will let him. A girl in his class told him Santa wasn't real after Christmas and I asked him what he thought and he said that he thought she was wrong and that he was real and I said that if he wanted to believe that was ok. We try to keep it fun, but realistic if that makes any sense!
Edit: We only let him ask Santa for 3 things (keeps things affordable for us) and he understands that the bulk of his gifts come from Mommy and Daddy.0 -
Santa is real
I am a bad girl, i never get gifts from Santa!0 -
Of course, life is so hard when you get older. They should have a little time to believe in magic. It fosters the imagination.
^^ Exactly what I said! i agree!0 -
I wasn't raised Christian, so I find the whole Santa thing a little strange. It seems counter productive to raising children who trust in the integrity of their parent's theological beliefs. I refuse to lie to my kids about it. Instead, we talk about what a nice story it is, about the message of giving, service, and sacrifice it embodies... and about how one must never say anything to the cousins. :P0
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I have a degree in psychology with a specialization in child and adolescent development.
Yeah but do you have kids? All these little ideal's change when you become a parent.0 -
Yah know.... if I knew a bunch of adults/teenagers who were upset with their parents for lying to them about Santa & then had trust issues as a result, or adults/teenagers who were traumatized by the whole ordeal... then i would say PUT AN END TO THIS MADNESS!
Seeing as how every single person I have ever discussed this with has only brought up happy memories of Santa I say .... pass it on & give your kids happy memories too!0 -
Yes Virgina, Santa is real
http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/
I fail to what is wrong with teaching your child to believe in magic and to use their imagination. I was a believed until I noticed my dad's handwritting on all of Santa's presents and that it was addressed to me using my nickname my dad has for me.0 -
No, I don't plan to lie to my children. Santa isn't a little white lie you tell them to not hurt them, it's a deliberate deception. You might think it's harmless but it's really not. All your children learn from it is that you don't always tell them the truth, they can't always trust you.
Sure, it's probably fun for them, but totally not worth it in my opinion. There are plenty of other ways to have fun with them.
I have a degree in psychology with a specialization in child and adolescent development.
So you're saying parents should keep nothing from their kids? That doesn't seem all that harmless to me.0 -
Yah know.... if I knew a bunch of adults/teenagers who were upset with their parents for lying to them about Santa & then had trust issues as a result, or adults/teenagers who were traumatized by the whole ordeal... then i would say PUT AN END TO THIS MADNESS!
Seeing as how every single person I have ever discussed this with has only brought up happy memories of Santa I say .... pass it on & give your kids happy memories too!
Yes^^^....I came from a very strict Christian background where Santa had no place at the table for Christmas...I've always felt like I missed out on a small bit of happiness and magic that I will not deny to my kiddos. I don't let my parents live it down to this day.
Nobody that I know that has believed in Santa as a child is any worse for the wear...nor do they have parental trust issues or any kind of childhood trauma that they're having to deal with in this RE...what a load (to the child psychologist)0 -
So you're saying parents should keep nothing from their kids? That doesn't seem all that harmless to me.
There is a HUGE difference between not telling your kids everything (you should answer your kids questions truthfully but age-appropriately) and deliberately lying to them.0 -
Yeah but do you have kids? All these little ideal's change when you become a parent.
Unfortunately, people don't have to be educated on how children develop psychologically to become parents. In fact they don't have to be educated at all. If it were up to me, every parent would have to take a course.0 -
No, why would someone tell their children a lie? Isn't that what parents teach their kids not to do? Also, what is the point? Santa Clause is one of the most stupid things I have ever heard of. I never believed in him. When I have children they will not be taught about him. I want them to think in reality not have their heads stuck in fantasy land. They don't need their heads filled with fake things. I see no point, I think it does more harm then good.0
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Yeah but do you have kids? All these little ideal's change when you become a parent.
Unfortunately, people don't have to be educated on how children develop psychologically to become parents. In fact they don't have to be educated at all. If it were up to me, every parent would have to take a course.
That's a skillful dodge to a legitimate question. Asking if you are a parent prods at the central point of your experience level with children to see if you have the experience to back up your opinion. If not, is there any hard research to back up your opinion that a belief in Santa Claus harms children? You see, there are decades of mistakes and changes in psychology that causes many people to lack a trust in it as a solution, or as psychologists as experts on people, particularly when assertions are made that seem to defy the listeners' own experiences.0 -
Yeah but do you have kids? All these little ideal's change when you become a parent.
Unfortunately, people don't have to be educated on how children develop psychologically to become parents. In fact they don't have to be educated at all. If it were up to me, every parent would have to take a course.
That's a skillful dodge to a legitimate question. Asking if you are a parent prods at the central point of your experience level with children to see if you have the experience to back up your opinion. If not, is there any hard research to back up your opinion that a belief in Santa Claus harms children? You see, there are decades of mistakes and changes in psychology that causes many people to lack a trust in it as a solution, or as psychologists as experts on people, particularly when assertions are made that seem to defy the listeners' own experiences.
It wasn't intended to be a dodge at all. I thought it was clear from my answer that I do not have children.
You're right, there are clearly not decades of mistakes made by parents... :S Parents make no mistakes! That's why every parent has such an amazing relationship with their child, every parent is a positive influence in their child's life, no children grow up to be criminals or bad parents themselves... please.0
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