This may be a dumb question......

Everyone on this website has the same question... answer? Eat clean, eat less, exercise more! Do what works for YOU. You can look at TDEE and BMRs all you want...

you need to understand the difference between BMR and TDEE. BMR (what you posted the link to) isn't based on activity level; TDEE is.

also just FYI you can't build muscle if you're eating at a deficit. you can tone, but not build. so you won't be able to actually start "bulking" up at all until you reach your goal weight and then start eating at a surplus.

This!
I just realized this myself. I have toned out eating at a deficient for 2 months but haven't gained the muscle I wanted. I just updated my calorie goals yesterday to take away my deficient. I came onto MFP thinking that 1200 was the magic number and it is for some people and got me to lose 5 lbs. Now I am happy with my weight and want to create shape with muscle. It's all a process. Thank you for posting this, we are all constantly learning and finding out what works best for us. It's all individual to a degree.

Your activity levels do not affect your BMR, they affect your TDEE, I'd probably choose lightly active because of what you burn and if you do any more than that eat a little bit more that day

I thought that the BMR calculator gives you your BMR at the top, mine was 1378, then underneath it gives you values for your TDEE based upon whether you consider yourself sedentary, lightly active, etc.....

my lightly active TDEE comes in at 1895 calories, moderate at 2136 and very active at 2377. I was going to eat at my TDEE-20% but I don't know which one to choose, they all seem high but I guess I'm used to eating low calories. Does it make sense to just choose sedentary and eat back my exercise calories? but then where does the deficit come from?

So confused.

i wouldn't go by that. try an actual TDEE calculator, and that should give you some better guidance as to what category you should place yourself in to. do a search in the forums for "TDEE calculator" and you'll find links to a bunch of great ones that can allow you to put in exactly how much time you spend doing certain activity levels.

edit to say i know they seem high. remember that if you're going by TDEE-20% you won't eat back your exercise calories so your net will be quite a bit lower than what you're actually eating. it's hard to wrap your mind around at first but a lot of people have had much more success eating at TDEE-20% than by trying to basically starve themselves by eating at or below their BMR (guilty as charged...)

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-moderate-exercise.htm
Quote for those who do not like to research " For many people, moderate exercise puts them slightly out of breath, but still able to carry on a conversation. Light exercise generally does not cause one to be out of breath, while vigorous exercise may make it impossible to talk. This is an example of using perceived exertion to determine exercise intensity. Some examples of moderate exercises might include brisk walking, slow jogging, swimming, using a piece of fitness equipment such as an elliptical or stationary bike, or even an activity such as gardening.

A pedometer might also be used to determine moderate exercise. Studies have suggested that a moderate pace for many people is at approximately 100 steps per minute; for someone just starting out, this may be too challenging of a pace, but it is a good goal to have. A brisk walk can be a great break from a stressful day at work as well.

Finally, heart rate can be a measure for moderate exercise. This varies from person to person; it is often considered to be 50 to 70 percent of one's maximum heart rate, which is 220 minus one's age. For instance, a 20-year-old's maximum heart rate would be 200 beats per minute; 60 percent of 200 is 120 beats per minute. Vigorous exercise, by comparison, might be 70 to 85 percent of one's maximum heart rate. Again, this varies significantly from person to person, so it may be beneficial to ask a doctor for advice on one's target heart rate."

http://exercise.about.com/cs/fitnesstools/l/blperceivedexer.htm
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise-intensity/SM00113
http://exercise.about.com/cs/fitnesstools/l/blperceivedexer.htm
http://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/everyone/measuring/index.html
http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=20971

All of these sites tell the same story so I trust them. What is hard for you is easy for someone else, so you cannot go off of activity instead use the breath, sweat (misty to heavy), and HR test.

You you check out this group. It is run by very knowledgeable MFP member who will give you straight forward answers with no BS. Read the thread with the red pins first. Join the group if you still have questions.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/10067-eat-train-progress-

I would increase the calorie burn by atleast a couple hundered and maby take a rest day or two a week, your muscles need time to repair so they can grow.