Slim down sadness.

sounds like depression. Do you live somewhere cold? could be something like SAD. Don't be afraid to reach out for help!

You definitely sound depressed... I would seriously recommend seeing a dr-- its no fun feeling depressed-- you should be enjoying the slimmer you! Be proud of your success!

Go see a doctor.

Looks bad at pictures of where you were and than look at some from now to show your progress.

33lbs is an amazing accomplishment! Don't think otherwise. Do not beat yourself up saying you shouldnt' of let it get to that. You have come a long way and you need to look at and celebrate the hard work you have done.

I agree with the poster who asked if you lived somewhere cold. It could be SAD. I used to get like that when I was living in a basement apartment. There was pretty much no natural light in the apartment and even when there was I was always at work for it. I would go to work and it was dark out... stay inside work all day where there are no windows and I would very rarely go outside... when I left work it would be dark out as well. I was feeling downt throughout that time because of the lack of natural light. SAD is something that is very common.

Is there anyone you will speak with? A doctor? A really good friend? A spouse or family member? Take charge of things now so they don't get worse. You have said it is a serious depression... please get help. Getting help is not admitting defeat... it is taking charge of yourself and your health.

Depression...you need to see your doctor to rule out things like hypothyroidism and anemia...all things that effect me. Also if you live in a cold climate try a tanning subscription..you don't need to get dark, but the warm light does wonders for me when I've done it in the past.

If your dr rules out any other medical causes, he could put you on an anti-depressant, I'm not a huge fan of medication, but sometimes you need it to get through a rough spot.

My point is, do something! You deserve to feel good about yourself and life. Don't let it stop you from being pro-active towards better days.

Victoria,
I'm sorry you're feeling so lost right now. I've been there a few times myself, and it's agonizing. After trying to pull myself out over and over again (I used to think I could THINK my way out of it, figure it out, do things, try something new, etc. etc.) I finally got to a good therapist and realized I just had a lot inside I needed to work out, and I couldn't do that alone. A good dr., a good anti-depressant for a while, and you will find a way back to yourself, and way back to happy. Whatever it is that's getting to you, you'll at least be able to find it, put your finger on it, and do something about it for yourself (instead of feeling helpless, like I did for so long.)

And don't feel bad about being in that place, or needing help getting out -- if you had an injury and wanted to see a doc, no one would blame you. It's just some internal healing you need.

Know that you're not alone, and this is not forever. ((HUGS))

Hang in there.

Go see a doctor.

And if your doctor tells you to "think happy thoughts" or "perk up" or anything similar, see a different doctor. Depression is a serious issue and must be handled as such.

Until then, keep this in mind: Your brain is lying to you. Don't listen to it. You need and deserve help, and the sooner you get it the better.

^^^^^^ X's 1000.

i think you are amazingly beautiful!

Go see a doctor.

please do...i dont think this has anything to do with your size... there is help out there...i hope you are better soon.

I have anxiety and depression. I push people away A LOT. I recently started seeing an amazing therapist and it has made a world of difference. (I was always too proud to do it before.)

I was on an antidepressant once for 2 weeks and it made me slow. I mean ssssllllloooooowwww. I would start things and not finish them- just walk away and forget I was doing them. My speech was really long and drawn out, too. I decided I couldn't work and take the medication so we stopped it. (My sister takes anxiety meds and she seems to do just fine. Just goes to show everyone is different!) I started meditating to calm my anxiety. It's easier said than done. I found an app for my iPhone that I don't know how I ever lived without it. It's called "take a break" and it is short (7-18mins) guided deep breathing meditation.

Go see your doctor. Get recommendations and/or referrals for therapy. You are worth every effort. Put it in when you can. I promise there are people out there that care about you and want you to feel good and enjoy your life. My friends have told me that they felt helpless and didn't know what to do. When I go through the anxiety/depression, I know I am not able to correctly articulate what I need or how I am really feeling. It sounds like you know yourself really well. You can identify your feelings. That's also a huge step towards working this out.

If you want to add me, feel free. I can share my experiences with you and listen. You're a good person. You care about yourself and others. Remember that.

I'm so sorry that you feel so low. I completely understand how you feel as I've been there myself.

First things first, you haven't gained a huge amount of the weight back so I wouldn't get panicked about that. The fact is that you have done brilliantly to lose that amount of weight, it's a huge achievement and you deserve to feel good about it and accept compliments for it.

With regard to the binging. The most important thing is to keep eating. When we binge we often start to feel anxious about gaining weight and so we think about cutting down or not eating in order to compensate, but this has the opposite affect and just ends up fueling the binges. I would make a fresh start from now, have a look around MFP for the abundance of advice you can find and think about a simple, but substantial enough meal plan you can work towards. Perhaps make a list of some healthy foods or meals you enjoy and work towards eating 3 good meals a day and a couple of snacks to combat the binging, and try to put thoughts about the weight loss on the back burner until you get on an even keel.

It does sound like you could be suffering from depression or low mood, so perhaps you could talk to your doctor about how you're feeling and see what they can do to help.

Best wishes and add me if you'd like.