Got REAMED by doctor today.

Options
13

Replies

  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    Options
    I may get reamed for this, but doctors, like most other people think overweight people are just lazy and instead of helping you, she just assumed you were not working hard enough.

    This summer when I injured my knee working out (damn plyo), I had to fight to get the proper treatment because my doctor kept telling me "that if you just lose the weight...blah, blah, blah", completely disregarding the number of times I told him that was how I hurt me knee or the fact that I was in pain constantly. Even after the MRI showed a torn meniscus and severely damaged cartlidge, probably from years of running, they resisted doing surgery, since they still insisted my weight was the problem. Thank goodness I didn't listen to them, had the surgery and now my knee is almost 100%, I can even do Turbo Fire. Although I do beleive that a combination of surgery and weight loss (I've lossed over 30lbs since the surgery) has helped in the healing of my knee, I definitely do not believe that I would be as far along in the healing process had I not fought for the treatment I felt I needed.

    Happy ending, when I went back for my final check up, my doctor had a totally different attitude toward me, told me to keep doing what I was doing because obviously I knew what was best for me.
  • peckish_pomegranate
    Options
    She should be FIRED for this. Terrible advice. Have sex whether you want to or not?! What the hell!
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Options
    Eff that. And I'm not really sure why she thought she needed to tell you to have sex. My doctor might tell me to have less, but probably not more.
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
    Options
    Don't you dare let her discourage you. She's just a person, not God. Her opinion doesn't matter. I don't know what her deal is...maybe she had a bad day or is just an all-out b****...either way, move on to someone else.:flowerforyou:
  • SuperCork
    SuperCork Posts: 192 Member
    Options
    I'm really sorry this happened to you. More proof that just because someone is "qualified" to do a job, it still might not be the correct position for them. She's an ignorant b*tch: please don't let this deter you! In my experience, baby steps are the way to make lasting change! Shame on her!
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
    Options
    Wow! She was totally out of line. You should definitely lodge a complaint. She obviously doesn't have the knowledge to deal with someone losing weight. That sex comment---wow!

    A couple things pop up for me about you not feeling good. Maybe your calorie intake is too low. Are you eating back your exercise calories? Are you eating enough protein? I've noticed that the amount of protein that MFP gives us is quite low. I always eat more then what it says I should and if you're exercising as much as you say you are you need protein for muscle growth. Try making sure you are eating as close to the calorie goal that MFP put you at after including your exercise. For example, if you are at 1400/day and you exercise and earn 250 calories and you don't eat any of those back you are actually at 1150 calories for the day. I'd be a raving lunatic if I was only eating 1150. Good luck!
  • Loves418
    Loves418 Posts: 330 Member
    Options
    First off wow..I would never ever let anyone speak to me that way..but then again that is my hot Israeli temper..Even my kids pediatrician back in brooklyn..loved the man then he brought in his son who brought in his friend..WHO didn't know me from adam!! one day he stepped the wrong line and let me tell you I tore him a new one..YES so loud the original Dr. came flying in and said WHAT>? then I told him he took him out and also tore into him..I was happy ...
    Get a new Dr. call and complain about this one. DO not let this set you back..you are stronger and better then what you got treated like...

    Big hugs...
  • dangerxbadger
    dangerxbadger Posts: 396 Member
    Options
    Sorry that happened! Most NP these days are overworked, and underpaid, but that does not give them the right to treat patients like garbage. I would recommend seeing a DOCTOR. Not a nutritionist, not a NP, but a DOCTOR. I had a consult with a nutritionist and all she seemed to be able to tell me were things I could have just as easily found for myself online, and NOTHING in relationship to my specific medical issues/chronic illness. She really just broke down the food pyramid for me like I was a five year old. Not a good experience.
  • dangerxbadger
    dangerxbadger Posts: 396 Member
    Options
    I may get reamed for this, but doctors, like most other people think overweight people are just lazy and instead of helping you, she just assumed you were not working hard enough.

    This summer when I injured my knee working out (damn plyo), I had to fight to get the proper treatment because my doctor kept telling me "that if you just lose the weight...blah, blah, blah", completely disregarding the number of times I told him that was how I hurt me knee or the fact that I was in pain constantly. Even after the MRI showed a torn meniscus and severely damaged cartlidge, probably from years of running, they resisted doing surgery, since they still insisted my weight was the problem. Thank goodness I didn't listen to them, had the surgery and now my knee is almost 100%, I can even do Turbo Fire. Although I do beleive that a combination of surgery and weight loss (I've lossed over 30lbs since the surgery) has helped in the healing of my knee, I definitely do not believe that I would be as far along in the healing process had I not fought for the treatment I felt I needed.

    Happy ending, when I went back for my final check up, my doctor had a totally different attitude toward me, told me to keep doing what I was doing because obviously I knew what was best for me.

    Pretty much this.
  • mageepilot
    mageepilot Posts: 289 Member
    Options
    Yes, keep at it and don't let her ruin this! She is just one bad person, there's a lot more good people here rooting for you. Let your complaints be known at her office and you will feel better.
  • marqcutie80
    marqcutie80 Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    Much like the horrible sex advice she gave you (which I'm pretty sure isn't the reason you went there in the first place), I would have simply said to her that although she clearly doesn't like to be nice to patients or know the meaning of customer service, she should "just do it anyway!" I don't put up with idiots like that and neither should you. I'd report it for sure and most importantly, DO NOT GIVE UP! Don't let small-minded people make you feel bad about yourself.
  • Shelialouise66
    Options
    No one should rationalize or try to make what this NP did seem like it is okay and perhaps it is the OP perception of the situation that may be wrong. There is no excuse for anyone to be made to feel like this. As a nurse, I find this behavior appalling.

    I would consider, first of all, that this would be a difficult subject for the patient to speak about, so I would start off by praising her for making the steps to make changes in her life. Then I would go on to have lab work drawn and make sure there was nothing off as far as bloodwork was concerned, many possibilities come to my mind.

    If I choose to treat you like crap and you choose to go to another doctor, who is ithe loser, I am, because I have lost your business and future possible referrals, not only that, word of mouth speaks volumes.

    I can tell you from personal experience, that no doctor worth his salt, would want you to walk out of his office feeling like you got a gut shot. You should definitely speak with someone in the office. If that doesn't bring about a solution, notify your insurance so that they withold payment from his office.

    At my hospital, if a patient isn't satisfied, we get hit in the pocket, knocks down the level of payment received.

    Don't let this discourage you. Little changes turn into lifetime changes. Best of luck.
  • TrishLG
    TrishLG Posts: 173 Member
    Options
    Consider the source. Sometimes nurse practioners are better than doctors because they try so hard, but the one you got -- well, see about changing doctors if you are going to be stuck with this one.
    Negative reinforcement never NEVER works. If she were a competent professional, she would know that. Obviously she is not competent.
    Loosing weight is difficult for those of us who have to lose weight. Obviously if weight control were easy for us, we would not have been in the position to need so desperately to lose it.
    You are wonderful.
    You are working hard both with food intake and exercise.
    Keep going. The journey is long and difficult and is a life long process.
    You are not just trying to eat better for a short term, but as a lifestyle change.
    Are your numbers good--weight, measurements, blood pressure, cholesterol?
    If yes, then use your own intelligence to access your progress and do not depend on the rantings of the incompetent.
    Also report her as insulting, mean spirited, and request that on your next appointment, under no circumstances are you to be seen by her. They will get the message.
  • whitneyps7
    whitneyps7 Posts: 409 Member
    Options
    I have been at this for 5 weeks now. After 5 weeks and looking back over my life I can clearly see why I have fallen off the wagon so many times. When I diet I feel terrible. I am stiff, hungry and have no sex drive. I am tired. As embarrasing as it is I decided to go to the doctor to just get things checked out. I am internally motivated but considering all the wonderful advertised promises of dieting, I feel pretty rotten. Frankly, worse than I did when I was just getting heavier. So, I go and I can't see the doctor, I have to see a Nurse Practitioner and I have never been treated so badly because of my weight EVER!!!! She made me cry! I gave her my FitBit report and my food diary. In 5 weeks, I went to McDonalds once because I burned the dinner I was cooking and WAS STILL UNDER MY CALORIE GOAL, and I do go to Starbucks for a Skinny Vanilla Latte which she also tore up. Uh, lady that is basically skim milk that you have a problem with. Needless to say, she said "With such a long road to go, What did you think?" Really?!?! I have a mirror. I know "I have a long road to go" but thanks for pointing that out. And I can tell you I didn't think I would feel worse 5 weeks in. I knew the first couple of weeks weren't going to be awsome but by now, I expected to be in a routine. In 5 weeks I have been over my calorie goal 3 days. She said I should eat more protien, ok I'm not sure how when I am over on protien but under on fat and carbs almost all days. Oh and did I mention she said I should exercise less? Not that I am exercising excessively; 30-60 min 6 days a week which I consider a necessary evil. She said I should just have sex anyway if I want to or not. No mention of the fact that I am 35, in a healthy relationship and should want to. She didn't check any labs or do an exam of ANY KIND!! What the heck?? Why was I treated this way?

    omg wtf?? and ppl B**** at me constantly for not going to the doctor!! this is one reason i wont i also hate the dentist alot of them hav emade me cry (i have a birth defect which affect my mouth and teeth) thats really messed up and upsetting to even hear let alone go through im sorry :(
  • IronKitty
    IronKitty Posts: 121 Member
    Options
    I'm so sorry this happened to you! I agree with others, you should say something, even if its only writing a terrible yelp review about her!Don't let this discourage you on your journey!

    I had a terrible experience with a doctor when I was 5. He told me I was "fat", along with a long winded monologue about all the problems I would have, all in front of my two brothers. I was FIVE, he could of had a private discussion with my mom, you know the person in charge of what I eat. As you can imagine that led to a childhood of being called fat and being teased by my brothers, and anytime I would say I wasn't, they'd said " Well what did the doctor say?" and I couldn't say ****. The funny thing is, BMI wise I was never overweight till end of high school (at the high end, but not over), yet I sincerely believed I was obese since 5. I let this doctor mess with my head and body, so much so that I may have never had a weight problem if I hadn't had the experience.
    Do not let this idiot affect you!
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
    Options
    WOAH WOAH WOAH! New doctor, STAT. This is absolutely crazy! Any doctor I have ever been to would be so thrilled to have someone getting a new healthier lifestyle. Screw them. Seriously.

    This person said exactly what ran thru my mind as I read what happened to you. OMG she should be reported to the office immediately...you should be encouraged not degraded for trying to turn your life around. I would NEVER see her again, regardless if she does apologize for treating you that way. That is so unprofessional. I hope you have the strength to turn the table on her and report her *kitten*. Good luck on your journey to a healthier lifestyle-don't let what was said to you de-rail you.
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
    Options
    It seems reasonable to me to call the office point out her specifically out of line behavior like advising on your sex life (not a sex therapist) and berating your eating plan (not a nutritionist) all she should have talked about were your tests and general stuff regarding your weight and health. I'd further point out that you wanted to see a Dr. and would like to request your money back or that it be applied to your next appointment but with a real dr. this time. No disrespect to NP's but this one clearly thinks that since she can play dr. she can also play dr. ruth, a nutritionist, and mommy.

    ^^^^100% Agree^^^^^

    What a miserable experience! Some of the best and most thorough care I've ever had was from an NP or a PA... I think you just got an unprofessional person on a really bad day. DEFINITELY call your doctor and ask to speak to him/her directly! My first thought is if you feel as miserable as you say you do when you start dieting you need some guidance on what you should or shouldn't be eating. You shouldn't feel miserable unless something else is going on, too. And... have sex whether or not you want to???? Honey, this isn't the dark ages!!! The bigger issue is why don't you want to? Labs need to be taken to see if you have some kind of imbalances...
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    Options
    She's seen your fitbit report and food diary, now print this thread and show her this, and maybe send a copy to her superiors too explaining exactly how she made you feel :flowerforyou:
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
    Options
    Report her. To her employer AND your health plan -- they hold the real purse strings.
  • hrubyk1804
    Options
    you were treated like that because SHE SUCKS! find someone else to talk to and to help you out


    ^^THIS! :)