Single Moms and Child Support

He has a responisibility to look after the child too, the money he pays it towards your care costs. When he has the child he has to bear the costs of looking after the child.

Tell him to man up and look after his child.

My ex and I had joint custody but he was still obligated for child support. We had filled out worksheets specifying what our expenses were and that's what the child support was based on. If there had been any way for him to get out of it, he would have.

He also had to supply their necessities when they were at his house and drive both ways to pick them up (I would usually meet him halfway because otherwise he wouldn't bother to see the kids at all and as long as the kids wanted to see him I felt I could make that effort...but I was not required do so, even after we moved 8 hours away). Wish I'd picked a better father for my kids, but they turned into terrific adults anyway.

My ex had to get clothes for the kids and supply his own diapers and food. You don't even have to take him to court over this. Stop doing it and he will start stepping up.

My ex husband is responsible for the kids needs during his time with the children. He has visitation every other weekend, and 2 weeks in the summer. In the beginning I supplied them with things THEY wanted or needed because I didn't want them to do without. Eventually I found that was too enabling for him, so I stopped. They didn't suffer. He had to step it up. If he didn't, we would have ended up back in court.

Child support was never intended to supply everything for the children, it is to augment your income to supply food, shelter and clothing. He should supply the appropriate supplies at his house, if he does not, he is not caring for them properly and child protective services need to be notified because not changing diapers ( if he does not have them) is neglect....I would try to calmly work it out first. You could professionally notify him in writing that he will be expected to provide for his children while in his house hold. I would say nothin negative just facts and short. It is better not to get into a negative discussion about it, and not respond to him when he blasts you an email back if it just negative which It could be.

Just a piece of advice though, try to make nice, you, your children and your future communications with your ex depend on it. This is not an emotional subject it is just making sure you both provide for your children. If he is a good father they will be so much better off having him in their life and getting along well with their mother and your life will be easier with less drama.

My ex buys diapers/wipes and food when he has our son. I buy everything else. I could probably force the issue but I decided not to. It creates so much conflict and it's worth it to me to pay a little more to not have to listen to him ***** and moan. Plus, when I get a pedicure or color my hair or buy a new Vera Bradley he has no right to say a word. We played that game for a while and it sucked. I get a lot of hand me downs from my sister in law and am a good bargin shopper. Sometimes the best attitued to have is to act like you don't need him for anything....that takes his power away.

Ok ladies..... Curious on this one and I cant find the answer,

If you receive child support do you have to supply the father with diapers, wipes, food, etc when the kids go to visit him? My X has the kids one day a week. Which is a lot compared to his usual. Turns out he has had enough time and money to date but he never see's his kids and *****es for giving me $77 a week for 2 kids. He expects when he actually see's them to drop them, pick them up and supply all necessities. Can I stop this?

If you think your children will go without necessities if you don't send the supplies, I vote continue to provide for them even when they're at the dad's house. It's really about taking care of your kids.

The kind of personality I have, I would prorate that $77 and send it WITH THE KIDS telling dad that's the amount of support he paid and you felt he should keep it for the time period the kids are with him (that's just me though....I'm not saying that's what you SHOULD do but ummmmm.....LOL)

hahahah! that sucks!

yea no! he pays you child support you don't pay him, he needs to supply that


tell him when they calculated the child support they calculated the time he has with the kids, ie. you get less money the more time he has with them. so tell him you already supply that for him in a way.

the less time he has the kids the more child support goes up, the more time he has with the kids the less child support goes up

At the risk of sounding bitter- I have FOUR children! The oldest is six. They have the same father (we were married). About a year and a half ago I came home and had my 3 year old tell me he had sexually assaulted her (no details, because you will have nightmares for years). I had him arrested so fast he didn't have time to get his shoes on. He is serving 25-40 in a max security penitentiary. In our divorce he was ordered to pay $50 a month. In prison he doesn't make $50 a month. The children and I get nothing. Last year I was able to file taxes jointly with him though. He told me I could keep all of it. The state of nebraska decided to withhold a little over $300 from my return because it was his return as well. They mailed it to me three months later. That was the only support I received.

I don't take them to visit him. He has a no contact order for anyone under the age of 19.

Okay-maybe I'm a little bitter.

Either way your guy should have a home set up for them. They should have things there. They are not visitors. They are his children.:flowerforyou:

OMG...I am so sorry that your daughter had to go through that. As a parent I cannot imagine the pain that you have gone through...my heart breaks for you and your family. Your children are very lucky to have you as a mother. Keep strong.

Wow... My husband and I have a similar issue - but with the mother. They have joint custody, but refuses to pay her share of ANYTHING. She is constantly going against the court order - refusing extra-curricular activities (including taking her after we paid in full for a class), failing to share information about the child, and the list goes on... And the clothes? Well, if we ever make the mistake of sending her back in something nice, we NEVER see it again.

We do what we can for the child because she is the MOST important.