Same as it ever was...

TheCaren
TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
in Motivation and Support
Not sure what to do here. I have lost 33 pounds. I have gone from a size 12 (and they were none too big) to a size 6 and occasionally a few 4's. I have seven pounds left to get to my goal weight.

Here's the problem. Even though I know intellectually I've lost most of what I want to lose, I still look in the mirror and pretty much see the same thing I saw when I was 33 pounds heavier. The only way I can see a difference is in comparing photographs (weird I can see it in pictures but not on my body).

Thinking about this, I am reminded that when I weighed 107 pounds in my early 20s (my goal weight now is 125), I would still look in the mirror and see nothing but flaws. Bulges on my outer thighs. Disproportionate features. I wore shorts or a little skirt any time I had on a bathing suit and wasn't directly in the water. As I type this, I realize how ridiculous it sounds. I'm 5'4" and weighed 107. How large could I have really been?

I'm getting a little nervous about reaching my goal weight and realizing my view of my body is still the same as it ever was...

My question is this. Do you see yourself as you are, or do you see yourself as you were before any weight loss? And what do you do about that?

Replies

  • DWPedsRN
    DWPedsRN Posts: 22 Member
    Check out Geneen Roth's philosophy of food, self love and weight loss. She's quite insightful, and I have learned a great deal from her. Like her fb page for inspirational tidbits that help guide your thoughts and keep you 'present' with yourself.
  • Pretty_Mrs
    Pretty_Mrs Posts: 20
    I've definitely heard of this- where people lose weight but still see themselves as the "old" version. Even Jennifer Hudson remarks about grabbing size 16s off of racks and having to go out and get smaller sizes- and even then, she'd go out of the fitting room and grab a size 8 or 10. Hopefully you'll stay near your goal and have time to get used to your new body. It takes time! Its the same with our children. I see my son daily and would love to think of him as my little fat cheeked toddler, but when I look at school pics, I'm like "who is this young man?!". He's nine.
  • Davina_JH
    Davina_JH Posts: 473 Member
    Check out Geneen Roth's philosophy of food, self love and weight loss. She's quite insightful, and I have learned a great deal from her. Like her fb page for inspirational tidbits that help guide your thoughts and keep you 'present' with yourself.

    Agree, for sure!
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
    All I see are the flaws. I've lost 27 lbs over 2 years and dropped 3 sizes, but despite being smaller and more muscular than I've ever been all I can focus on is that my waist is still too big, my stomach is still too flabby, my thighs still jiggle too much, and my calves wobble. I think I'm even less happy with my body when I was before because I'm expecting so much more from it after all of this hard work. But I also recognize the issue isn't with my body, it's with my mindset - there are so many things wrong and out of my control in my life that if I can somehow perfect my body that will be one thing I've done right. Instead of just being able to be happy and excited about what I've achieved, I'm so frustrated it's not better. I'm expecting too much, I'm expecting some sort of revolution or catharsis from this, and that's just not going to happen simply by losing weight.
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    I think my biggest concern is the realization that I felt this way when I weighed 107# and my current goal weight is 125#. I guess I've just always felt this way. I've always seen the flaws. It's like standing in one of those mirrors at a carnival where everything is all disproportionate.

    Honestly, clothed I'm okay with how I look, generally. I guess. But put me in a bathing suit, or heaven forbid, look in the mirror unclothed and I just see the same overweight woman I was 33 pounds ago.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    I'm just the opposite. Up until the last 20 lb gain I still saw myself as basically the same size and shape as I ever was. I read an article once that said most people have a set mental image of themselves that doesn't really ever change. It's why many people use old photos on dating sites that are no longer indicative of how they look now - in their minds that IS how they still look.

    It seems that your mental self-image is stuck at your higher weight. I would suggest reviewing those before and after photos every day, and maybe laying out the size 12s next to the size 4s and having a little chat with yourself about perception vs reality. There are also many articles online about how to change your self image.

    I've also found that I'm becoming much more forgiving of myself the older I get (I'm 46). It was't a conscious thing, just mellowing with age I guess.
  • chris10_hi
    chris10_hi Posts: 33 Member
    I also too am at my last seven pounds before hitting my goal weight! Ive notice major changes in my body, in the way i look in clothes, how i feel in certain clothes but there are still some insecurities there and maybe its more so from fear of gaining the weight back but I have to remind myself daily that Im making the right choices and Im doing everything I can to better myself, and my health not so much just losing weight, ive gained alot more confidence back not from just losing the weight itself but from working hard and pushing myself like ive never done. Ive had to realize that i will never be a size 4 or weigh 125 again, I am a grown woman, im not 18 anymore, i have waaay more responsibilities and more on my plate then i did back then and my body is changing. So it helps to snap myself back into reality that i am 22 now and im doing all i can. :)
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    I'm just the opposite. Up until the last 20 lb gain I still saw myself as basically the same size and shape as I ever was. I read an article once that said most people have a set mental image of themselves that doesn't really ever change. It's why many people use old photos on dating sites that are no longer indicative of how they look now - in their minds that IS how they still look.

    It seems that your mental self-image is stuck at your higher weight. I would suggest reviewing those before and after photos every day, and maybe laying out the size 12s next to the size 4s and having a little chat with yourself about perception vs reality. There are also many articles online about how to change your self image.

    I've also found that I'm becoming much more forgiving of myself the older I get (I'm 46). It was't a conscious thing, just mellowing with age I guess.

    Very good idea laying the clothing out side by side. Oh, and I'm 43 (gonna be 44 in June). So apparently that self forgiveness thing hasn't kicked in for me yet...
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    Check out Geneen Roth's philosophy of food, self love and weight loss. She's quite insightful, and I have learned a great deal from her. Like her fb page for inspirational tidbits that help guide your thoughts and keep you 'present' with yourself.

    I'll check it out. Thanks!

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