Firends who what to ruin diets..... :( upset.

Just put an end to it! Tell them you're trying to get healthy. They may be thin and lean but they eat crap so you'll be healthier than they are!

It sounds like they are trying to adjust to it. You say that it has been 5 days since you started it is probably habit for them to think that you are going to eat like that. They just need some time to get used to the idea. I say kindly let them know that you don't want to eat the junk (or in moderation which ever applies) and if they are true friends then they will support you 100%. Good choice on eating healthier.

I agree... to several points.

1. When your friends have always been thin with eating BBQs and Pizza then they might not even know that it is 'not so good' ...

2. you don't have to stop eating pizza and BBQ just eat it in smaller portions than you maybe used to. I enjoy pizza and BBQ and all that stuff every now and then - not always but sometimes i even need it *G* - and i still lose weight. The stories of "you can only eat salad and veggis" (exaggerated) aren't necessarily true

Once you feel comfortable with your willpower, you'll go along with them and just not eat. I have a friend who always says to me - lets go for coffee! A totally benign thing, right? Well, for me, it always has been - I just get a coffee or tea - straight - no milk, no sugar. Or a skinny latte, no sugar. I go for the conversation. But she ALWAYS gets a brownie, or cake, or sandwich or muffin, and ALWAYS asks me if I want to split it. I ALWAYS say no - ALWAYS have and ALWAYS will - even before I ever started to count calories. That crap just ain't worth my precious calories!!

My friend is about 150 lbs overweight. I don't care what she eats, except that it's killing her and I care about her, but there's nothing I can tactfully or caringly say that seems to change her habits. It's up to her, and likewise, these choices your friends give you are hard, but the ultimate decisions are up to you, and I don't think you want to quit seeing them just because they choose bad food venues. You can go out and not eat, or you can go out and eat a little, or you can go out and have a food bender. I understand not wanting to go out until you're really strong, because the urges can be overwhelming, but I just wanted to say that you should go out eventually and re-learn how to eat. The food will always be at every social event and while there may be events or places you'll always choose to avoid because the temptation is too much, life will be much more fun if you can indulge in moderation (oxymoron? maybe...).

Good luck on your journey its tough! It is sad that our society revolves around food so much - many of the social situations involve eating, or drinking. You need to make the concious effort to change that in your social group. My husband and I are doing this together and we have my family who is pretty supportive and to an extent tries to help us with our choices, then we have his family who does not - they are also overweight and have struggled with weight loss for years, we have tried to tell them that we don't need these big family meals, desserts, going out to high calorie restaurant etc.. but they still don't get it, we have distanced ourselves from them - if they are not going to help us out on this journey then we can't be part of their "get togethers" We'll invite them over to our house from time to time to have a healthy dinner on our terms, or we plan our visits in between meals so we don't have the temptation to eat what they are serving. It really bothers me to go over there and have them spoon feed my kids junk - we are trying hard to have our children be healthy and eat balanced and nutritious meals and they shove the ice cream, cookies, cake, all kinds of junk at them, I mean they are kids they don't have the will power to turn down food like that and when I step in and say no they've had enough, I look like the bad guy in my kids eyes. GRRR --- Sorry for ranting on like that! ANyway we all have these people who sabotage our efforts and that just means we have to try even harder to focus on our goals. Good Luck to you - hopefully your friends will come around!

friends and family are usually the worst enemy. (but im happy i got my family behind me)
the only thing i can say is. keep going strong like you were.
you are doing great with that so far, and i know it will be hard.
if they invite you to another restaurant just get a salad instead avoid dressing, bread, and ask them to grill the chicken with no butter.

but you gotta lay your ground with them. saying that you are trying to be healthier. ask them to be supported by not bring pizza and etcs. (there are pizzas that are healthy)

i hope that helps so for next time you know you can eat or cant eat.
always come here for advice and encouragement here. cause people will come and help you.

plus some friends do understand what it means to want to be healthier. My friend one time asked me, why to everything i wanted to do with weight loss. while she was losing weight by moshing, not to meantion she hasnt changed her eating habits. she still eat fries everyday, gets monster and starbucks, and doesnt eat, and snack on chips. i wasnt losing weight cause i dont go out as much as she does. so i had to do something for myself. she wants to hang out, but i have been holding it back cause i dont want to be around her. when she doesnt eat, then i feel like a fatty. and she just sits saying she not hungry, and when she gets home she eats fries. so im just like okay.

but keep strong

I've got friends like that. Sometimes it makes you wonder why they're you're friends, eh? :ohwell: Mine got better after a month or so and hopefully yours will too. Too, just remember, you can eat with them wherever they want to go - you just have to make good choices. I try and research the place I'm going before I go, so that I can make the right choices that won't totally tip me over my calories for the day. Sometimes that means eating something different, other times just reducing how much I'm eating. Used to go to On the Border for mexican and eat 3 tacos - now I go and eat one, a flauta and a few chips with salsa, which fits into my calories a little better. Still might be a spurge though, but that's okay everyonce in awhile. Anyhow, good luck and hang in there. Oh, too, don't be afraid to lay it out to them that they're bringing you down if you need to but maybe give them some time to get used to how you're doing things now first. Good luck!

Once you feel comfortable with your willpower, you'll go along with them and just not eat. I have a friend who always says to me - lets go for coffee! A totally benign thing, right? Well, for me, it always has been - I just get a coffee or tea - straight - no milk, no sugar. Or a skinny latte, no sugar. I go for the conversation. But she ALWAYS gets a brownie, or cake, or sandwich or muffin, and ALWAYS asks me if I want to split it. I ALWAYS say no - ALWAYS have and ALWAYS will - even before I ever started to count calories. That crap just ain't worth my precious calories!!

My friend is about 150 lbs overweight. I don't care what she eats, except that it's killing her and I care about her, but there's nothing I can tactfully or caringly say that seems to change her habits. It's up to her, and likewise, these choices your friends give you are hard, but the ultimate decisions are up to you, and I don't think you want to quit seeing them just because they choose bad food venues. You can go out and not eat, or you can go out and eat a little, or you can go out and have a food bender. I understand not wanting to go out until you're really strong, because the urges can be overwhelming, but I just wanted to say that you should go out eventually and re-learn how to eat. The food will always be at every social event and while there may be events or places you'll always choose to avoid because the temptation is too much, life will be much more fun if you can indulge in moderation (oxymoron? maybe...).

I agree wholeheartedly with your take on this.

the ones who tend to force food on me are my coworkers and husband. my husband I guess wants an eating buddy, but if I say no he understands and stops there. my coworkers just dont listen or get it that I am setting a boundary and no longer interested in being unhealthy along with them. now when they force food on me, I say no. when they insist on dropping the food practically in my lap and begin to walk away, I hold the food item over my trash can at my desk and say "if you insist on leaving this with me, here is where it is going." they certainly dont like it, but usually they take it back.

I agree with those who say that people aren't meaning to tempt you. Some people, though, may even be uncomfortable, knowing that they need to watch their eating habits & do better, so they try to get you to join them in their bad habits. I was out of calories by one evening this week just as visiting family wanted to go out to eat. I went out, prefacing the conversation with "I already ate, but I'd like to come and hang out." I declined the offers of "just one piece of pizza" and sharing dessert. They ate pizza and these huge Reeses cups desserts right in front of me, but I just sat drinking some water, perfectly comfortable. I use visualization sometimes & picture the food stuck to my butt and hips--makes it easy to say NO!

It goes both ways.. when you need to lose and gain weight.. there was this great article on msn (yeah i know cheesy msn article) but it talked about how your friends influence your diet more than you think (friends, aka family, peers, coworkers, etc etc).. let me see if i can find it and post it!
but stay stong... i know exactly what you mean but in the opposite direction.. kinda sucks when all you get is judgement and turned up noses when you say no or when you know what you are doing is healthiest for you
and if they do invite you places, what i have found helpful is to go, be social and not even partake in the food activites... it is possible