Jealousy

JamieG8991
JamieG8991 Posts: 1,203 Member
in Motivation and Support
I can't get this off my mind. I have some "friends" at work that are telling me I look too thin and one clueless person actually said to me "What size are you trying to get into?" WHAT??? I'm 5'6" and currently 160 pounds... I started at 175 and yeah, I do look thinner, but not too thin at all. I can't stand negativity and I don't need it if I'm going to succeed Obviously, this is really bothering me! :grumble:

Replies

  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
    I got the same comments at X-mas and when visiting my parents. "you look too thin", "you don't eat"!! I have worked my #$%% off to lose weight and I exercise. I did this at their houses when visiting and got comments. Not many said you are doing great or wow I am proud of you.

    I am amazed that there were few positive comments and supportive.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Congrats on your NSV.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    They are jealous! Do what makes you happy. People tell me that I look anorexic and ask me if I eat, I dont care because they are haters and unhappy with themselves. Congratulations on your progress and keep at it!! :)
  • bronnyd
    bronnyd Posts: 278 Member
    There is one woman at my work who keeps telling me I am "wasting away", and will even say to others as I walk into the room "isn't she disappearing?" It bugs me a little bit and I think she means it to be fun banter/compliments but I usually just brush it off and change the subject because it's annoying!!
  • SquidgySquidge
    SquidgySquidge Posts: 239 Member
    *kitten* 'em all - miserable idiots the lot of them.

    Us MFP'ers are proud of you and WE think you're great :love:
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    Turn it around. Say you aren't really trying to lose weight but body fat %, so that I am healthy and not flabby. I usually make a joke out of it, and if they still continue then I tell them that their words hurt more than they help. Often times they dont' realize how they are saying things...talk to them, tell them how you feel.

    Ask them if it is a jealous issue, and if so offer to help them out and then tell them about Myfitnesspal...if the people get really nasty to me I snap back at them, usually in an insulting manner with "Well, at least I am trying to better myself, unlike you who is taking up empty space and contributing to the reason why the US is the fattest county in the world." But that is me, and I will explode like that when pushed too far....stems from harassment issues years ago lol.
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
    Tell 'em, "Thanks for the compliment, but I have more work to do!" :) You've already recognized it as jealousy wrapped in false concern, so discard that part and enjoy the good stuff underneath-- what you're doing is working, and people can see the difference. :)
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Your topic title says it all....smile and ignore!!
  • CassandraChloeJ
    CassandraChloeJ Posts: 47 Member
    I get that a lot too. I usually just respond with, "Thank you, but I am still not in what is considered my healthy weight range and I carry the weight well so you wouldn't know I still have more to lose." Turn it into a health issue rather than an obsessive/beauty issue and they usually drop it. Good for you though on your progress! :) Keep it up!
  • MountainMoverJosh
    MountainMoverJosh Posts: 134
    Look on the bright side......it is bothering them that you look and feel better than they do. High Five, woman!
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    Just ignor it. Or ask them if they want to join you in working out.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    The day someone says that to me I will whoop for joy. Turn it around and take it as a back-handed compliment.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Yeah, I have to agree with lauren3101 on this one... I guess tone can't be conveyed by what you've typed but at face value I don't see too much wrong with that. Take it as a compliment and move on. No need to get huffy or explain yourself IMHO. I've had people tell me that too but I've never taken it as a negative thing. They're used to seeing you (and hundreds of others in our current overly obese population) as much bigger so when you start to "shrink" it may look unusual. Just keep working on your health and fitness goals and don't worry so much about what other people think about you.
  • HaywireII
    HaywireII Posts: 71 Member
    They might not all be Jealous. I am noticing when I look at some of the success stories on here when they post a series of pictures over time I keep thinking...wow..they look great...that must be the end. And then there are more pictures that look even better after it and I realize that my perception of what healthy people look like is all screwed up.

    Some of these people may have known you for a long time and think you look great and trouble visualizing you looking even better than you already do. Of course some of them may just be nasty or jealous. I wish I had your problem. Hopefully this time next year I will.
  • mgarcia843
    mgarcia843 Posts: 268
    I haven't read through all the comments on your post so I'm sorry if this is repetitive, but as someone who is constantly reading too much into what others say, let it roll off your back (I should take my own advice :P)

    If you feel good and you have a goal in mind then pursue it. As long as you're healthy and feel good don't worry about what other think or say. After all, YOU are the only one YOU have to answer to in terms of how good you feel.
  • hardymommy123
    hardymommy123 Posts: 32 Member
    Congrats on your NSV.

    Umm yea....this. I WISH someone would tell me that I look too thin!! Do not even for a second let that bother you. Your weight/height combo sounds pretty dang good. I am 5'4" and would kill to get to 160!!!! Keep up the good work....you are obviously doing great!
  • klacount77
    klacount77 Posts: 270 Member
    I think that people get jealous over the amount of weight loss and motivation that they see in others. The more they complain, the better you are doing. I look forward to negative comments. I've heard the same things about "looking so skinny" when I am still over 200 pounds! I think it is threatening to others to see someone motivated to do something for themselves.
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
    I think people just arent used to seeing us smaller so when we lose weight we look really small. I have had lots of people tell me...you are getting so skinny...and I still want to lose another 70 pounds. I just tell them thanks...that I am working hard and move on. Most of the time they mean well.
  • LucyT4dieting
    LucyT4dieting Posts: 284 Member
    This is why WE'RE here....to give you support. My girlfriend, who incidentally, is the one who introduced me to MFP, recently said "How much more weight are you trying to lose....you're being ridiculous". How's that for support? As long as YOU feel good, you are doing the right thing. There will always be those who are critical, but it's YOUR life and YOUR decision. Congratulations on your success!
  • olDave
    olDave Posts: 557 Member
    Obviously it's bothering you. Ask yourself this question. WHO is making it bother you? When you find the answer, you'll have the only person who can make it STOP bothering you.

    Good luck and congrats on your progress so far!
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    They are jealous! Do what makes you happy. People tell me that I look anorexic and ask me if I eat, I dont care because they are haters and unhappy with themselves. Congratulations on your progress and keep at it!! :)

    I think you look amazing and I love your user name:smile:
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    Women are jealous and competive by nature, it really is the nature of the beast. When women start to look better physicaly and feel better about themselvs other women will look at them more as competion
  • nm8962
    nm8962 Posts: 43 Member
    I experienced something similar.I get my hair done every two weeks & was a little perplexed that no one had mentioned my weight loss. (WW leader had asked what type of comments I was getting regarding my weight loss) Well last week, my hair stylist question if I had lost weight. Feeling awesome that finally someone had notice my weight loss, I replied I had lost about 60 pounds. The next question was how much more did i plan on losing & what dress size was I in now.. I shared that I would like to get down to 150 & that some 16 fit & some didn't. My stylist & other patron's then informed me that I didn't need to lose that much & I was fine the size that I am now. ( my weight then was 189 & I'm 5'4). I'm not sure if jealousy is the correct description for my situation, but I was truly baffled that no one commended me on my success or encouraged me to continue. But regardless of their opinions I'm sticking to my goal. And to you I say, "Continue on your journey & I'm wishing you much success!"
  • sheenades0804
    sheenades0804 Posts: 52 Member
    Coworkers can be evil and childish!!!! They get jealous because they want what you have but if they want to be skinny they gotta work for it!
  • chels0722
    chels0722 Posts: 465 Member
    Use it to fuel your progress! Obviously you are doing something right. Ignore them and do you.
  • sobriquet84
    sobriquet84 Posts: 607 Member
    hates 'gon hate.

    just smile and tell them how great you feel.
  • JamieG8991
    JamieG8991 Posts: 1,203 Member
    Thank you all so much!! I really appreciate everyone's positive comments. I so needed all of that today! You all make me feel so much better about myself! :bigsmile:

Categories