Anyone lose a lot but not see a difference in the mirror?

2

Replies

  • AnikaP81
    AnikaP81 Posts: 59 Member
    I totally understand what you mean... I haven't lost near that much, but I did go from a size 12/14 to a size 8 (at least so far). But I don't see a difference in the mirror. The other day I went shopping and grabbed a pair of pants from the rack that were a size 8, but looked tiny and the only reason I tried them on was because to me there was no way I was gonna fit in those... I'm still trying to convince myself that I am really not a size 8, but rather that the clothes are just cut differently now LOL But guess what...THOSE PANTS FIT!!! I don't know how long it takes our brain to make the switch, but I would say it is perfectly normal to feel that way. Just keep reminding yourself that you have done great so far!

    i totally have that issue when i go shopping now! i always try to pick out a bigger size bc my brain just doesn't think that my body will fit into the smaller size! i always have some sort of excuse or reason. my friends and family are even getting frustrated with me for not seeing a difference but it's so hard. and it doesn't make it easier when people make such a stink over the change! I mean it's so nice that people notice but sometimes it can be embarrassing how much they make a thing of it, like i was so revolting before. i've even had friends tell me it's "wierd" that i'm thin now (even though i DO NOT think i'm thin at all)...like, backhanded compliment!?

    I agree... It really makes you wonder what they thought before... Of course it probably also has to do with the fact that weight loss is a much more accepted topic in our society than talking about someone gaining weight or having weight to lose...

    Backhanded compliment for sure...nothing "weird" about getting healthy :)
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
    I still have a hard time with this. Sometimes I get a quick glimpse and think ..wow...but then it is gone again. I can see things like collarbones and such...I know I am wearing smaller clothes. But its a brain thing I suppose. I have heard it takes time for your brain to sort of catch up. I find myself instinctively going toward the plus size clothes section also and then I have to remind myself I dont have to shop there anymore.
  • LilRiver
    LilRiver Posts: 81 Member
    I didn't start seeing the difference until I'd lost about 75 lbs. There are times I still struggle to see it just by looking in the mirror. I mean, logically, I *know* I've gotten smaller. I have to have... when I started I was wearing a size 24 pants and I'm wearing a pair of size 10 today. 10 (or 12 or 14) is very much smaller than 24! But my oh so smart brain just cannot see it - until I put on the pair of size 24 khakis I kept. Then it's like "oh! yeah! you are totally smaller!"
  • lovelyleti78
    lovelyleti78 Posts: 1
    I am amazed at how many people relate to this.
    I also have been here. I put on my old workout pants today and they were so big, that they Fell down when i started to do jumpin jacks. But I swore that something was up with the elastic. My 7yr old even said WOW mommy you really have lost weight, those pants are to big. But even so I still don't see it. I know I lost 4inchs on my tummy in the past month alone, but I still see a big old tummy.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    I'm down 75 and see not even a hint of difference in the mirror (in clothes otherwise). Maybe someday, but nope-see no difference at all.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    I never see a difference in myself. I've often thought I have body dysmorphia.
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
    It's pretty common. Another good reason to lose weight slowly - it takes your head a lot longer to catch up. I still have problems buying clothes because the right size looks too small.
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    Definitely and it sucks. Congrats on your loss though! Pictures have always been the best motivator for me because a picture doesn't lie so that's good you can see a difference there. I don't have an answer but yes I feel that way too
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
    Sounds like a lot of this is mental as in not grasping the beautiful person you are in the inside and being out of shape for so long that you come to expect it.
  • innerfashionista
    innerfashionista Posts: 451 Member
    I had the same problem. What I saw in the mirror (before I gained a lot back) was the same as before I started.

    For me, it was all mental. The photo is proof, without my biases. The mirror, I can make myself see whatever I want. It took me about 50 pounds to see a difference in my body, but I saw it in my face sooner.
  • gypsyrose64
    gypsyrose64 Posts: 271 Member
    I've lost 26 and still don't see a difference. Granted mine is not a huge loss, but I can totally feel your pain! People tell me to measure instead, but even THAT hasn't shown great improvement, so who knows where the heck those pounds come from - but it hasn't manifested on the outside yet!

    Only place I can tell a difference on me is my face. Pictures do help... and a whole lot of patience!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I find I focus on the fat a LOT more since losing weight. I'm aware of where my worst sections are and it's so frustrating that you can't spot reduce. XD Sadly, I think it's common because we're all made so much more aware of what is going on with our bodies while weighing ourselves, checking inches and mirror checks.
  • Ashleyyyb93
    Ashleyyyb93 Posts: 71
    I am the same!! I have lost quite a bit and I don't notice a difference. It's depressing because then I don't feel good about myself. All of my old clothes are too big for me and lots of people have made comments...but I can never see it myself. frustrating to say the least!! x x
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
    I have lost 80 pounds but when I look in the mirror I really don't see much of a difference. If I look at pictures I see a difference with a side by side comparison. But the image I see in the mirror is almost the same as I've always seen. I don't know if it's body dysmorphia or if it's normal in any way...it's frustrating and can make it hard to stay motivated some days because I forget that I've done so well. I don't really fall off track but it's still disheartening not to see a huge difference when I look in the mirror. I keep going back to old photos so that I can feel good about the progress, but it makes me feel shameful that I was ever so big and I'm just wondering if my brain will ever switch over so I can stop punishing myself on a daily basis? And yeah I know I probably need a therapist but I can't afford one right now so I'm just wondering if anyone has dealt with similar feelings... :)

    First of all you've done a great job and even if you haven't noticed it yet, that doesn't mean that what you achieved isn't real, in fact it's probably the best thing for your body&health :)
    I think that most of our worries about our own weight are not rational, but drived by our mind and emotions. So it's very possible that, even if your eyes actually see what anyone else can see in the mirror, they're not "ready" to accept what they see and they reject it. Maybe deep inside you still feel insecure about it and losing some - or a lot - of weight isn't just enough to fix it. I think you should really focus on that instead of focusing on your weightloss only, because first of all you need to be happy and content about whatever you're doing :) just try to focus on the little things you're improving and reassure yourself about every little step. They're not so little if you're doing them by yourself :)

    Back to your question, I get the exact same feeling, but I'm trying to live with it because I know that having control on myself and my eating habits is more important than actually seeing myself thinner.
  • 1Fizzle
    1Fizzle Posts: 241 Member
    Wow...I could have created this very same thread. I have lost a lot, but I still see the same old me from a year ago. I've had to get rid of a TON of clothes, and people tell me all the time how different I look. It just motivates me to keep going though. I have seen so many success stories here on MFP and I believe I will get there this time. Congrats on your loss OP and everyone here!
  • 1Fizzle
    1Fizzle Posts: 241 Member
    :drinker: ]
  • Goal_Driven
    Goal_Driven Posts: 371 Member
    Same here. I was just talking about this to my mom yesterday. I didn't know if I was developing some kind of image disorder or what! lol. I don't see myself as any different than I use to be although I'm much healthier now and have dropped 7 pant sizes. I don't know when we'll actually learn to notice the difference but I hope it's soon because I keep wanting to change my goals to a lower weight just because I don't see the difference and that's not healthy cause I'm nearing the lower side of a healthy bmi now.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    It took me a long time to see a change, that is why it is super important to take before and after pictures. Our minds take awhile to catch on.
  • Iwillrunagain
    Iwillrunagain Posts: 16
    This is why it is so important to take pictures, we only tend to see our flaws in the mirror.
  • qtpieprnsz
    qtpieprnsz Posts: 21 Member
    2 words: body dismorphia -- I'm down about 70lbs and feel the exact same way.. and why? because from beneath my chest to my knees, I see zero difference!!! Albeit, my pants size tell me otherwise, but when looking forward at myself, little change.

    This will be something we will need to work on mentally. We must use the small things - such as how clothese now fit, to realize that as much as our own eyes do not see a difference, there IS ONE!!!

    Keep up the great work and don't lose your motivation!!! Thiings (body parts) will eventually shift info place!!! LOL...
  • iliveintheshire
    iliveintheshire Posts: 76
    80 lbs is amazing, congrats!
    I've lost 24 and I feel the same way. I just cannot see a difference. I never thought about dysmorphia. My husband swears I look different...
    I am just going to keep working out and doing weights and sees what happens.
  • doin_it
    doin_it Posts: 414 Member
    I totally get what you are saying...in 2006 I lost 100lbs and was at my goal weight but yet when I looked in the mirror all I seen was rolls of fat and all my flaws. I couldnt see the difference...I really couldn't..even though my clothes were much smaller and I was constantly getting compliments...I didn't see what others seen. I would go shopping and the first place I would head would be the plus size section. My size 8 jeans were loss but it just didnt register...

    Sadly after going through a marriage breakup I gained alot of the weigh back. Now when I look back at the jeans I wore then..there was no way I was fat. I didn't take alot of pictures back then but this time around I am just so I can see it for myself. Hoping that will help. I have been there before so I know how my mind is going to react and I am preparing for it. There is no way I am going to allow myself to get back to where I once was.

    Just the other day my mom was saying how I am doing so well this time and she said "the last time you lost weight, you did do good. You looked so amaxing and you were so small." So she said she knew I could do it again! But even when she said that I was thinkinh.."No way...I wasn't that small" but I know I was and I will get there again!!
  • stackhsc
    stackhsc Posts: 439 Member
    I have lost about 55 lbs and everyday I look in the mirror I see "fat me" it's gets really discouraging and makes me want to give up sometimes.. But then I look at before pictures and I can tell the difference... I would think eventually mentally I will catch up to what I look like physically but who knows how long that takes.. Just keep your head up and there's always people on mfp to help keep you motivated (:

    So hang a picture of the old you beside the mirror :) i haven't done it but heard of others who do.
  • mtcHavingItAll
    mtcHavingItAll Posts: 69 Member
    Great topic and lots of wonderful feedback! I feel the same exact way even though so many people have noticed that I've lost weight, especially lately. I guess it's true what they say about our mind taking time to catch up with the new body. I sure hope it catches up soon! By the way, you look marvelous! :flowerforyou:
  • sweetpea129
    sweetpea129 Posts: 755 Member
    OMG YES YES YES. And thank you SO much for this post. I have lost a lot and still dont see it. Logically i know I look different. I look at old pictures, people are constantly commenting on it, i went from a size 22 to a size 10. Yet when i look in the mirror i dont see a drastic change. I actually say things to my husband like "The mirrors are probably just angled well" or "wow, i look good in that picture. Must be a good camera cuz thats not real life". He is very adamant that i have body dysmorphia. People tell me that i look thin, or skinny minny or small and it bothers me because I think that they are making a joke of me cuz i still think im big. I worry that i'll get to goal weight and still think im fat. Ugh. I dont have any advice but just wanted to say that i'm right there with you.
  • courtneywiens
    courtneywiens Posts: 148 Member
    OMG YES YES YES. And thank you SO much for this post. I have lost a lot and still dont see it. Logically i know I look different. I look at old pictures, people are constantly commenting on it, i went from a size 22 to a size 10. Yet when i look in the mirror i dont see a drastic change. I actually say things to my husband like "The mirrors are probably just angled well" or "wow, i look good in that picture. Must be a good camera cuz thats not real life". He is very adamant that i have body dysmorphia. People tell me that i look thin, or skinny minny or small and it bothers me because I think that they are making a joke of me cuz i still think im big. I worry that i'll get to goal weight and still think im fat. Ugh. I dont have any advice but just wanted to say that i'm right there with you.

    Thank you!! I make the same excuses...angles, mirrors, lighting...it's like I can't just let it be that I look good. And I get the same reaction from people- they tell me I'm crazy. No one understands...none of my family or friends have gone through this kind of a weight loss and so I have felt very alone in all of it. I'm so glad that there are people who struggle with it so that we can share ways of getting through it. It's just hard to look at old photos and old clothes and not feel shame about being so heavy in the first place. I think feeling so much shame and guilt for being that way is what makes it so difficult. Instead, I need to focus on feeling empowered and proud that I've made this lifestyle change. Just gotta keep reminding myself!!
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
    I call my bathroom mirror the lying b*****d. I don't feel like I look any different in it. I can, however see the difference in any other mirror. So I only use my bathroom mirror to put my makeup on, and keep looking in mirrors everywhere else. I take lots of pictures to. I know my body has changed tremendously, every time I run into someone I haven't seen in forever, they can't get over how different I look. My husband can't keep his hands off me, and tells me every chance he gets how beautiful I am (and makes sure to tell me he thought I was beautiful when I was heavier). It will sink in someday, and I am looking forward to that day.
  • Csengure
    Csengure Posts: 40 Member
    I have this problem something awful. I am down a total of 47 pounds now (4 pre-MFP) and I feel like a fraud when people ask how much I've lost. I feel like I ought to be able to see more of a difference than I can. I take lots of pictures and can see the difference there, but I rationalize that as being due to flattering angles and lighting. Friends and family swear I'm nuts not to see it. I'm afraid if I keep saying I can't it'll come off as begging for compliments or positive reinforcement but really...I don't see it.
  • slimintraining
    slimintraining Posts: 80 Member
    I have this problem too!! I am wearing smaller clothes, I have gone from a UK size 20 to a size 14. I still have a way to go and all I see is how far left to go and I find it so hard to recognize how far I have come and what I have achieved so far. At the start I asked people not to tell me that I was looking different because I was worried that I would let it allow me to fall off the wagon!!

    What I have started doing now is going to the shops and trying on clothes, I can't bring myself to buy them yet but for now trying them on and seeing what fits and suits is good enough for me.
  • osualex
    osualex Posts: 409 Member
    Trust me - I feel the same way! I have lost 50 lbs but I can only really see the difference when I look at pictures - and then, the difference is HUUUGE!

    Also, if you really feel you are not seeing a difference, you may need to change up your exercise routine and try lifting. With cardio+diet, you will just look like a smaller version of how you looked before - squishy and all! (not saying you're squishy, just in general) If you lift, you will build up your muscles underneath and they will give you a firmer, "toned" look.

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