I still think i'm fat, others say I'm thin

gabriela182
gabriela182 Posts: 49
in Motivation and Support
hey, so my whole issue is that i used to way 2010... currently i am 148 and I am 5'10. I know on paper is says that I am average weight. But when i look at myself in the mirior I still think that I am over weight. And i keep pushing myselg to lose more. I''m worried that this might turn into some mental eating disorder. :( what are ways that i can pervent that? any tips?
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Replies

  • litatura
    litatura Posts: 569 Member
    I'm kind of going through the same thing - I'm 5'3", 123 lbs and people keep telling me I'm tiny now and not to lose any more weight, but all I can still see are the imperfections and thinking I can stand to lose a bit more. I'm forcing myself into maintenance mode so I'm hoping that will help my brain catch up!
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    It's time to hit the gym and lift heavy!
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Therapy?
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    It's time to hit the gym and lift heavy!

    This.
  • lisarfrank
    lisarfrank Posts: 31
    I think it is totally natural for woman to beat ourselves up over every flaw. That flaw is what makes you, you! I struggle too, especially when I see this cute little thing walk by that is my age and wearing some booty shorts and tank top with a rockin body, I just want to punch her. lol I just have to remind myself that she probably looks at herself the same way I do. When I point out things I don't like about myself people always have a strangle look like "what are you talking about". So in other words, don't worry about what everyone says and just focus on what you want and what makes you happy.
  • mariapuhl
    mariapuhl Posts: 529 Member
    I'm the same height as you - but I'm at around 200 right now. I had gotten down to 174 but kind of fell of the wagon, got lazy, and am back up to 200.

    I'd say, one way to avoid getting yourself into a mental eating disorder is to do a couple of things -
    1. You've already recognized that you have the potential to develop a more serious problem. That's great. See if talking to someone, like a close friend who is a good listener, or even a professional would help.
    2. Instead of looking in the mirror and going "oh god, I'm fat", pick something you like about your body. It can be the stupidest thing ever - but if you like it, celebrate it. On me for example, I love my neck. Stupid right? Don't care, I have a pretty neck. Think about that when you look in the mirror over the next week. Then the next week, notice something else. Like, "hot dang, my right elbow is SMOKING hot. My left one is pretty adorable as well." Again, sounds stupid, but keep adding on those things you like about yourself and you'll feel better mentally.
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
    I am having exactly the same problem. I can happily admit I have lost weight but it doesn't mean I am where I want to be and I find people are quick to tell me I'm a slim now so it doesn't matter. But I didn't do this to be slim, I did this to love my body. So I say if you aren't happy yet, keep going! At the end of the day, it's not healthy to be doing this for anyone's opinion other than your own anyway :)

    The only other thing I can suggest is put together some before and after pictures, it may help you realise how different you look.
    But just because you are an "average" size doesn't mean you look how you want to look, maybe you want/need to tone up or add some definition?
  • Sweet_Potato
    Sweet_Potato Posts: 1,119 Member
    I think a problem a lot of women have is that the fleshier parts of the body, like the thighs and tummy, are the absolute last places to lose weight. Meanwhile the parts people see everyday, like the face, can end up looking too thin while you're trying to get rid of the weight in those other places. So my advice would be to focus on toning those problem areas rather than cutting calories, and also accept the fact that a flat stomach with a 6-pack is probably unattainable.
  • rocket_ace
    rocket_ace Posts: 380 Member
    you are definitely fat.









    ;) (just kidding).
  • mcgraw0204
    mcgraw0204 Posts: 6
    My suggestion is to stop looking at the scale, stop obsessing about the numbers.....and strive to bet FIT, not skinny. Pick some athlethic goals to work on, and go get them.
  • MellyGibson
    MellyGibson Posts: 297 Member
    I'm going to go with the "Lift Heavy" answer.

    Losing weight without Resistance Training of some sort will only reduce the number on the scale. You can still have the same body fat %. To actually get some really nice muscle definition I highly suggest adding Resistance Training.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    hey, so my whole issue is that i used to way 2010... currently i am 148 and I am 5'10. I know on paper is says that I am average weight. But when i look at myself in the mirior I still think that I am over weight. And i keep pushing myselg to lose more. I''m worried that this might turn into some mental eating disorder. :( what are ways that i can pervent that? any tips?

    It could be an eating disorder if that's the case you should probably speak to a doctor or psychologist/psychiatrist.

    It could also be that you're unhappy with your body composition in which case I would say eat at maintenance and lift heavy.

    After a month or so when you see results you'll be able to determine whether you need to continue to eat at maintenance or a moderate deficit.
  • FoamyRiver
    FoamyRiver Posts: 276 Member
    I mentioned, in a group of friends, that I still feel heavy but everyone keeps telling me how thin I have gotten. So a guy friend of mine put it to me this way. Every time a woman looks in the mirror, no matter how thin they are, they see the same fat person they used to be. Whereas, everytime a man looks into a mirror, no matter how big he is, he still sees that buff thin guy he was in high school. :laugh:

    Things that help me remember how far I've come are comparing old and recent pictures like someone else suggested. I also try on the 3 or 4 articles of "fat clothing" I kept.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    hey, so my whole issue is that i used to way 2010... currently i am 148 and I am 5'10. I know on paper is says that I am average weight. But when i look at myself in the mirior I still think that I am over weight. And i keep pushing myselg to lose more. I''m worried that this might turn into some mental eating disorder. :( what are ways that i can pervent that? any tips?

    Fantastic work, getting to be a whole new person and losing the weight. If I was you I would focus on exercising now and just eating healthy. I don`t know what exercise you do at this time, but really try to improve it with some weights / resistance work.

    Good job!!

    ETA don`t go too low with the weight there is a fine line with looking slim and toned
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
    I think it's relative... I'm still technically overweight by a few lbs (BMI-wise I should be 158 to not be overweight anymore, and I'm at 163), and am not tiny by any standard (size 10), but compared to a few years ago, when I was a size 28 and 383lbs, I guess I am "tiny".

    I have a belly I'd like to get rid of and some toning to do, as well as 20lbs more to lose, so I understand. I'd echo the comments about lifting & building some muscle - will give you a new focus aside from losing lbs, and will make you feel much better about your body!
  • Davina_JH
    Davina_JH Posts: 473 Member
    Therapy!! A lot of times insurance will cover it. We don't realize the damage that is unknowingly done to us as kids/ young women by our parents and other adult role models.
    Example: My father telling me not to put too much butter on my toast or I'll get fat.
    My mother saying she feels "obese" when she is stick-thin.
    My grandmother saying she "just won't eat tomorrow" because she had too many snacks!

    Crazy, huh?? Time to take control over your own thoughts as a woman! You are beautiful and you deserve to know it and feel it. :flowerforyou:
  • EKN1417
    EKN1417 Posts: 34 Member
    You likely don't notice the change in yourself because A. it happens gradually and you look at yourself all the time, and B. Becuaes losing weight does not typically re-shape your body. You thinner usually looks like a smaller version or you when you were bigger.

    The only way to change your body composition is weight training. Spot reduction is a myth- so work on training your entire body, building up some lean muscle, and re-working that body-comp into something you can be happy with.
  • Becca_Reb
    Becca_Reb Posts: 11
    try exercise to tone up the problem areas rather than trying to lose weight, also look back at some old photos to see your massive achievements! have you got any of your old clothes to try on? xxx
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
    I mentioned, in a group of friends, that I still feel heavy but everyone keeps telling me how thin I have gotten. So a guy friend of mine put it to me this way. Every time a woman looks in the mirror, no matter how thin they are, they see the same fat person they used to be. Whereas, everytime a man looks into a mirror, no matter how big he is, he still sees that buff thin guy he was in high school. :laugh:

    Things that help me remember how far I've come are comparing old and recent pictures like someone else suggested. I also try on the 3 or 4 articles of "fat clothing" I kept.

    LOL - this is SO true!!! We, as women, hold ourselves to a high standard anyway. A lot of men are totally happy with being pudgy, whereas a lot fewer women are ok with being pudgy!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Start lifting. I'm 5'6.5'', 119 lbs, and very squishy. But if I was lifting, I'd be a lot harder and better off. Weight doesn't mean all that much.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    LIFT HEAVY.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    hey, so my whole issue is that i used to way 2010... currently i am 148 and I am 5'10. I know on paper is says that I am average weight. But when i look at myself in the mirior I still think that I am over weight. And i keep pushing myselg to lose more. I''m worried that this might turn into some mental eating disorder. :( what are ways that i can pervent that? any tips?

    It could be an eating disorder if that's the case you should probably speak to a doctor or psychologist/psychiatrist.

    It could also be that you're unhappy with your body composition in which case I would say eat at maintenance and lift heavy.

    After a month or so when you see results you'll be able to determine whether you need to continue to eat at maintenance or a moderate deficit.

    ^^^ This sounds like good advice.

    OP, based on what little can be elicited from your picture, I'd say you are far, far from being fat - you look great.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    hey, so my whole issue is that i used to way 2010... currently i am 148 and I am 5'10. I know on paper is says that I am average weight. But when i look at myself in the mirior I still think that I am over weight. And i keep pushing myselg to lose more. I''m worried that this might turn into some mental eating disorder. :( what are ways that i can pervent that? any tips?

    It could be an eating disorder if that's the case you should probably speak to a doctor or psychologist/psychiatrist.

    It could also be that you're unhappy with your body composition in which case I would say eat at maintenance and lift heavy.

    After a month or so when you see results you'll be able to determine whether you need to continue to eat at maintenance or a moderate deficit.

    Best answer. I'm guessing it's number two here.
  • Offical
    Offical Posts: 94
    I go thru the same thing ppl say wow man ur muscular! I look in the mirror and its like, ok what are u talking about? I just dont see what everyone else see's.
  • RiannonC
    RiannonC Posts: 145 Member
    I think a problem a lot of women have is that the fleshier parts of the body, like the thighs and tummy, are the absolute last places to lose weight. Meanwhile the parts people see everyday, like the face, can end up looking too thin while you're trying to get rid of the weight in those other places. So my advice would be to focus on toning those problem areas rather than cutting calories, and also accept the fact that a flat stomach with a 6-pack is probably unattainable.

    Wait what? Why does having a flat stomach with a 6 pack have to be unattainable? Too many people sell themselves short. Yes it's important to go about reaching your goals in a healthy way, but why can't she have a flat stomach or 6 pack if she wants?

    My advice is always to focus on how you feel. If you start feeling tired, run down, hair falling out, less strength, then you're probably not eating enough. Otherwise you're probably okay. Eat to fuel your body, and exercise because you love your body enough to take care of it, not because you hate it and you're trying to change it.

    And it might be helpful to have your body fat percentage tested. Weight isn't as reliable an indicator of whether you have more to lose. Women shouldn't go below 14 percent. Up to 24 percent is still considered quite healthy.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Have you really looked at photos of yourself? Maybe you need some side-by-side comparisons of where you used to be and how you look now...so you can see how you look from the outside.

    The mental part is the hardest to get past....but keep working on it. At your height, you shouldn't need to lose any more weight. As others said, if you aren't happy with your body composition, start working with weights....
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
    You've gotten to a weight where you expect to be thin, but you've probably lost a lot of muscle in the process. I'm with the "Lift heavy" crowd - start picking up some really heavy weights while eating at a small deficit and your body should start to turn into what you were expecting to see. Also, if you're having anxiety over food, therapy might be in order... But definitely try the weights.
  • sunshine_gem
    sunshine_gem Posts: 390 Member
    I'm the same height as you - but I'm at around 200 right now. I had gotten down to 174 but kind of fell of the wagon, got lazy, and am back up to 200.

    I'd say, one way to avoid getting yourself into a mental eating disorder is to do a couple of things -
    1. You've already recognized that you have the potential to develop a more serious problem. That's great. See if talking to someone, like a close friend who is a good listener, or even a professional would help.
    2. Instead of looking in the mirror and going "oh god, I'm fat", pick something you like about your body. It can be the stupidest thing ever - but if you like it, celebrate it. On me for example, I love my neck. Stupid right? Don't care, I have a pretty neck. Think about that when you look in the mirror over the next week. Then the next week, notice something else. Like, "hot dang, my right elbow is SMOKING hot. My left one is pretty adorable as well." Again, sounds stupid, but keep adding on those things you like about yourself and you'll feel better mentally.

    This is perfect advice and exactly what I was going to say. If you've been overweight and you're used to seeing you a certain way then it takes time to adjust. Like we say in weight loss, make small goals and when you reach it make another one until you get where you need to be. So start small. Eventually you'll love more about you than you'll hate :-)
  • AmazonRDH
    AmazonRDH Posts: 203 Member
    once you've been overweight, it's hard to see yourself any other way. I lost 211 pounds back in 2000 and even though i was super skinny and had all of my bones showing, i was a fatty on the inside and couldn't see myself any other way. my dad begged me to put some weight back on. it's very difficult for the mind to wrap itself around the new you. i'm 6'0" tall and because I didn't wear a size 2 like the supermodels, I was still fat in my mind. It's a very difficult thing...........
  • WilsonFilson
    WilsonFilson Posts: 83 Member
    Maybe stop weighing yourself, and start taking body measurements. Who cares what the scale says. What matters is whether you're getting the shape that you want. Its not about the weight - its about the measurements.

    And I disagree with what some said above about 6-pack not being attainable. Of course it is, but you have to know what you're doing. Resistance training - start building muscle. You don't need to get all bulky (that takes ALOT of work anyways), but with muscle tone you'll start seeing the shape that you want to attain. Good luck.

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