So how honest do you want your SO to be..........

Posts: 49,056 Member
edited January 14 in Chit-Chat
In regards to your body?

So be honest, or sugar coat it?

Discuss.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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Replies

  • Posts: 212 Member
    If I ask if I look fat, the worst thing a guy can do is say "yes". If something honestly doesn't look good, I'd rather them just say that they prefer something else over it. I don't want to be insulted, but I also don't want to wear something that isn't flattering.
  • Posts: 990 Member
    100%
  • Posts: 14,025 Member
    Absolute honesty.
  • Posts: 630 Member
    Blunt. He sees me through rose coloured glasses, though.
  • Posts: 14,025 Member
    Blunt. He sees me through rosé coloured glasses, though.

    That is a good thing.
  • Posts: 1,956 Member
    100% honest!

    But I also don't ask questions I don't want to hear the answer to. I would never ask 'Does this make me look fat?' Instead I would ask 'Does this look good on me?' or something like that.
  • Posts: 56 Member
    Definitely honest. Luckily my boyfriend is on here going through the same thing I am so we are both very open with each other. It has helped tremendously to not be doing this by myself :)
  • Posts: 4,810 Member
    Tactfully honest.

    This applies in all areas: if he's mad at me, if he doesn't like something I've cooked, if he doesn't like how I look. If he wasn't honest I would worry about the extent that he was preserving my feelings. I'd rather know the truth so I can deal with it head on.

    That said, tact goes a long way in making the truth palatable.
  • Posts: 4,810 Member
    He sees me through rose coloured glasses, though.

    My husband does too. It's kind of nice since I tend to be very hard on myself. At least ONE of us likes me! :laugh:
  • Posts: 139 Member
    I'd love it if he could see me objectively. My mind's eye is quite critical; his eye is genuinely rose colored. I wish when I mentioned wanting to work on certain things, I could believe him when he says don't change anything at all.
  • Posts: 432 Member
    If I ask a question, I always want an honest answer...
    That being said, if I want honesty, I can't hold it against him if I don't like his answer!!! Lol
  • Posts: 3,562 Member
    100% honest!

    But I also don't ask questions I don't want to hear the answer to. I would never ask 'Does this make me look fat?' Instead I would ask 'Does this look good on me?' or so so something like that.

    I couldn't but think of this commercial, :P

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPX2cQP8uoI



    And to answer OP, I would rather my wife be honest. I need the reality check.
  • Posts: 946 Member
    Tactfully honest.

    This applies in all areas: if he's mad at me, if he doesn't like something I've cooked, if he doesn't like how I look. If he wasn't honest I would worry about the extent that he was preserving my feelings. I'd rather know the truth so I can deal with it head on.

    That said, tact goes a long way in making the truth palatable.

    This!
  • Posts: 697 Member
    I'd love it if he could see me objectively. My mind's eye is quite critical; his eye is genuinely rose colored. I wish when I mentioned wanting to work on certain things, I could believe him when he says don't change anything at all.

    This. Exactly.
  • Posts: 607 Member
    Honest. Because I am 100% honest with him, even if he doesn't like it all the time.
  • Posts: 1,430 Member
    100% honest, this works both ways...
  • Posts: 172 Member
    I am fortunate that my husband is honest but tactful. LOL!!! I appreciate it immensely but yet even when I was my heaviest last summer he was still telling me I was beautiful. I didn't feel beautiful but he made feel special. Now, with some weight loss I love how he "eyes' me and makes me feel so sexy.
  • Posts: 1,651 Member
    Lie your *kitten* of, tell me I look fantastic, since it doesn't really matter. Tell me I look terrible, I'm just going to think you're an *kitten*. Tell me I look amazing, I'm gonna think you're lying through your teeth.
  • Posts: 2,780 Member
    I don't want 100 % honesty. And i don't usually offer 100% honesty when it comes to body issues. We all have insecurities, i'd rather not have the man in my life point my flaws out.
    I try not to ask questions that would put people in a position to lie, though.
  • Posts: 1,312 Member
    I want honesty, but it can be done without cruelty. My husband said he was moving out if I didn't lose some weight, and told me I am repulsive. I am only one size bigger than I am in all my pics, and it's from having a baby. But when he and I met, I was actually three sizes smaller than I was in those pictures.
  • Posts: 22,281 Member
    I once had a "does my dress make my butt look fat, is it too tight moment at work". The woman I worked with said "honey, in italy we have a saying--you look like ten lbs of sugar in a five lbs sack--meaning you're all good but it's just tight on you but still looks good." That's the kind of thing I'd like to hear. That and when he sees a really thin girl walk by and whispers "eat a cheeseburger".

    Recently I told him I wanted to make muscles on my thighs the fastest growing muscle i have so I can boost my metabolism and he goes just your arms and your tummy a little everything else can stay the same. LOL. Tummy a LITTLE? wholy moly no it's gotta go. and everything else should not stay the same, but he's sweet for saying it.

    LG-POUR-SOME-SUGAR-T-SHIRT.jpg
  • Posts: 331 Member
    Honest, especially if I ask.
  • Posts: 14,025 Member
    Lie your *kitten* of, tell me I look fantastic, since it doesn't really matter. Tell me I look terrible, I'm just going to think you're an *kitten*. Tell me I look amazing, I'm gonna think you're lying through your teeth.

    See, man-eater.
  • Posts: 1,704 Member
    Tactfully honest.

    This applies in all areas: if he's mad at me, if he doesn't like something I've cooked, if he doesn't like how I look. If he wasn't honest I would worry about the extent that he was preserving my feelings. I'd rather know the truth so I can deal with it head on.

    That said, tact goes a long way in making the truth palatable.

    I'd say this ^ Honest, but tactful. The truth can be told and feelings also preserved, if done right :laugh:
  • Posts: 93 Member
    Honest, but said in the right way. If he's a jerk, I won't listen. But that works both ways....I can't be a jerk to him either.
  • Posts: 6,800 Member
    In regards to your body?

    So be honest, or sugar coat it?

    Discuss.
    So tired of being sugar coated that it goes straight to my hips instead of my head, can't take a compliment seriously anymore.
  • Posts: 1,260 Member
    i want them to be honest but aware and tactful. i will never "does this make me look fat?" because i don't want to hear a "yes." instead, i'll ask if they "like" the outfit or if there is something in my closet/something i could do to look "even better." :)
  • Posts: 1,914 Member
    I want complete honesty about everything.
  • Posts: 846 Member
    Honest but not harsh. Here is a story...my boyfriend of almost 9 years had a very bad addiction to pornography. It was so bad that it was effecting our relationship. He once looked at me up and down, disgusted; and told me I was the reason that he was addicted to it. He also smashed a McDonald's double cheese in my face...SO...I would say that it your SO should be honest but in a way that protects your feelings.
  • Posts: 4,349 Member
    Honest but not harsh. Here is a story...my boyfriend of almost 9 years had a very bad addiction to pornography. It was so bad that it was effecting our relationship. He once looked at me up and down, disgusted; and told me I was the reason that he was addicted to it. He also smashed a McDonald's double cheese in my face...SO...I would say that it your SO should be honest but in a way that protects your feelings.
    Wow!! Isn't amazing people can be so hurtful...Honestly if someone did that to me they would be hurting!!

    I agree honesty is great but with compassion thrown in for the other person's feelings!! I wouldn't ask if something makes me look big..I already know...that question was invented to be lied to. I will ask if something looks good on me...If the answer is no then its not a big deal.
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